Episode C12: No Man is a Failure who has Friends.

THEME MUSIC (“Jazzy Interlude”, Billy Munn)

HERBERT “DARING” DASHWOOD: (V.O.) You’re listening to the Adventures of me, Herbert “Daring” Dashwood, and my stalwart ghoul manservant, Argyle. Today’s episode? “No Man is a Failure who has Friends.”

THEME MUSIC CONTINUES TO 0 M 10 S.

SCENE: EXTERIOR. THE SOUND OF WIND, AND ANNOYED MUTTERINGS.

ARGYLE: Huh, that was simpler than I expected. I still can't believe it was that easy to take down seven guys wearing power armor.

TALON COMPANY MERCENARY: You guys are just going to leave us here tied up?

HERBERT “DARING” DASHWOOD: I am sure the rest of the Talon company will notice that you're missing, eventually.

JOANNA AUDAX: Consider yourselves lucky that we didn't simply kill you.

TALON COMPANY MERCENARY: It's going to come to the same thing in this weather! We'll freeze to death.

INITIATE WERTHER: (NOT UNKINDLY) Nuh-uh, look at the size of this woodpile. See how the logs are balanced? When you want to put another log on the fire, you can just kick it, like this.

SOUND EFFECT: THUMP

INITIATE WERTHER: (PROUDLY) See? You guys'll be fine.

JOANNA AUDAX: I can't believe we're doing this instead of killing them.

HERBERT “DARING” DASHWOOD: We're doing it because it's the right thing to do, Joanna.

JOANNA AUDAX: They're dangerous, and you're soft-hearted.

HERBERT “DARING” DASHWOOD: I will take that as a compliment. Now, then, Argyle, what about the young boy?

ARGYLE: Well, kid?

CHILD'S VOICE: I'm okay, I think. My wrists hurt.

ARGYLE: Don't worry, it's 'cause they were tied up. Just rub 'em a bit, they'll feel better soon.

CHILD'S VOICE: Are you going to take me back to Canterbury Commons?

JOANNA AUDAX: Er, well, that depends, young man. Where are your parents?

CHILD'S VOICE: I want to go back to Canterbury Commons.

ARGYLE: Aw, come on, kid, we'd rather bring you straight to your mother and father. Er, (SHEEPISH) Assuming you have a mother and father, of course.

CHILD'S VOICE: (ANNOYED) They're in Canterbury Commons. Honest.

INITIATE WERTHER: You're lying.

CHILD'S VOICE: I am not!

INITIATE WERTHER: Yeah, you are. You're a kid, and you're probably sick and tired of your parents bossing you around – am I right?

CHILD'S VOICE: I'm not saying nothing.

ALON COMPANY MERCENARY: His parents aren't in Canterbury Commons – but I know where they are.

END SCENE

THEME MUSIC (“Jazzy Interlude”, Billy Munn)

HERBERT “DARING” DASHWOOD: (V.O.) Be sure to tune in next time for another exciting Adventure of me, Herbert “Daring” Dashwood, and my stalwart ghoul manservant, Argyle!

THEME MUSIC CONTINUES TO END

Well, something unexpected has happened - I'm at part 12, and I'm not done! Oops. I guess this is going to be longer than I anticipated.