Chapter 31: Difference between Truth and Lies

With an immediate reach to my room I slammed the door behind me sending a quiver round my room from the little extract of magic which escaped my hand. I stormed into my room with anger and confusion flooding through every inch of my body. I found myself pacing back and forth in front of my room with every word about my history flooding through my brain but Alesandro's sticking out the most 'But after the explosion that night and you disappeared I never got to see you again' I didn't get it, I didn't get anything now. Why was everything in my life falling apart, crumbling to pieces? Why was I always being lied to?! I felt my hand pull apart the flowers in the back of my hair chucking them towards the desk followed by the pins holding the plaits together so my hair fell down my back and over my shoulders in a complete mess. I didn't care; my hands ran themselves through it as I kept pacing back and forth until I clutched hold of my head hard ready to scream to remove all the stories in my head. So many voices calling out in my brain recalling all the events about what happened that night; every story was the same except from his, why was his so different to everything else I've heard? That's when I did it; at the top of my lungs I immediately screamed quenching my eyes shut as tight as they possibly could go clutching hold of my head harder and falling down to my knees. "Willow...Willow..." I lifted my head back up suddenly all the voices out of my head except one, one recurring voice which keeps haunting me since I've been on that ship. It didn't frustrate me though, the way it was calming and concerning towards me it made me feel at ease and right now inside my heart I believed I could trust him more than the people around me. Without realising what I was about to do I called out to the air around me "Liam..?"

I knew why I said that, but at the same time I didn't. The reason I cried out that name was because of the resemblance I noticed between him and the boy in my last dream. At the moment this was the only thing making sense to me and if I could grab hold of one piece of truth I would be happy as that is all I need right now. The reason why I didn't know why I'd said it was because I feared it to be another lie another trick on my mind and I didn't want to put myself through that again. It didn't matter because something inside of me told me to trust the instinct I was feeling, trust it more than I've ever trusted it before. "Willow come find me," I wasn't going to object; I pushed myself up off the ground circled round the side of the bed before slipping on inside. I rested my head up against the pillows and let my eyes drift me off into the darkness. Out of all the eagerness I have felt on this journey so far and how sure I've been of it, it didn't compare to how sure I was feeling right now. I needed to know one bit of truth and if this boy inside my head was the boy in my first dream where we made a promise, if he was the boy in my latest dream who goes by the name Liam then I have to find out. He helped me try to escape the ship by using the earth element inside me and I didn't listen instead I let Hayden get out rather than the pair of us and it proved that he was right. If everything about him was true then maybe he'd tell me the truth about everything else. I needed someone like that right now and maybe he's the one who can give it to me. It didn't take long for the darkness to take over my brain, sooner than later the orangey sunset landscape took back over my surroundings and the figure stood in the distance like it usually did. I didn't walk, I ran towards them immediately because I was no longer concerned of this person rather intrigued to find out more hoping, understanding he would give it to me.

I slowed down my pace when we neared each other but I analysed him clearly in my head. I matched the features of the younger boy from my dream to the boy who stood in front of me now. They shared the same red hair, they shared the same blue eyes, the same small freckles which lightly highlighted their skin and the same genuine anxious look when they knew something was bothering me or hurting me. I didn't hesitate, I didn't let him speak first because now it was my time, I needed answers and I was going to get them one way or another. "I made a promise to a boy a very long time ago. A promise which keeps popping up in my life, in my dreams regularly and I was starting to wonder who they were and why it went wrong." I could feel a crack in my voice as my memory started to remember why the boy disappeared from my life "He seemed...he used to be one of my closest friends yet he disappeared when I needed him most. It wasn't until I was on that ship; I learnt his name...Liam." I watched for something to happen in front of me and when I looked at the boy in front I saw a flicker inside of his eyes at the mention of the name, they shone almost brightly at me as if something had clicked inside of him, something highlighting a sense of hope and delight. "I'd just come from the castle. Yvette was taking me to the cottage to stay with her and this boy. I was so excited and when we came close, we saw each other and inside me a flutter of excitement hit me further and I began running as did he-," I didn't know where I was going with this but I knew I had to start somewhere, start somewhere I knew an answer would come clean at least hopefully but I was suddenly caught off guard when he cut ahead of me "But suddenly they collided with one another down in the snow with their feet in tangles. Liam told Willow to let him move his foot so they could stand and when they did they made the promise they wouldn't let anything happen to the other person."

"Liam..?" I questioned his name with an evident crack inside my voice holding back any tears which might fall down. "Hey Willow," my breath started to stammer as I placed my hand against my mouth in shock with tears forming inside my eyes while a smile was forming on his face "Oh my god," I spoke underneath my hand. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, how was this possible? How was he inside my head? None of it made sense to me. I felt my feet move further towards him, my arms flung out towards him as I wrapped them around him tightly as he did the same to me. I buried my head deep into his shoulder and let his warmth connect with me so I could cherish the moment for as long as I could. I felt his callused hand run through my hair trying to soothe down the pants which came from my stammering breath and silent tears falling one by one "You have no idea how much I've missed you," we pulled apart from each other slightly so I was looking up at him while he was looking down at me but we didn't let out eyes lose contact with one another for one second. "You got taller," was the first thing I said to him making him laugh at me "Seriously, that's the first thing you say to me after seven years of not seeing each other," I couldn't help but laugh through the tears back at him "Sorry, everything's just different you know," I wiped the tears away from my eyes as he looked down at me as I shrugged my shoulders as well. "Yea I know, I've seen pretty much everything that's going on and I'm so sorry," I shook my head at him, I guess it was natural instinct for me to do at the moment everything people would say or suggest at the moment I keep shaking my head refusing for it be right. "Hey, why are you crying?" I felt his hand be placed against my cheek removing the final tear which stained my face. Again I felt my head shake "Nothing, I'm just...I've wanted answers for ages and when I thought I finally had them it blew up in my face. All I wanted was one piece of good news out of the puzzle I've been piecing together and I got the one I wanted. Even though I've had two dreams...memories of you and I together and you've been in my head ever since the ship I've felt a connection with you that I can't shake, a connection with you which I know I can trust. I can trust you."

He smiled at me as I spoke and as I carried on his smile began to increase brightly even within his eyes, but through it all I felt proud as I didn't let my voice crack once in the process. "But that doesn't mean you're off the hook. You need to explain to me right here, right now what happened between us what happened to everything? We made a promise to one another, obviously a promise which wasn't upheld otherwise what happened to me would never have happened. You need to tell me everything," Liam threw his hands up in surrender towards me laughter followed closely behind it but everything else seemed genuine and calm about him as if he weren't even caught off guard by my remark "Willow listen to me, I will answer everything all of your questions, everything. I wasn't going to hold back either, I was planning on telling you everything I know and yes it may not be the same as others it may be slightly different but that's because it's from my point of view. I've only vaguely started to put everyone's pieces together and I know what you're thinking and what you already know, everything you've heard has either been lies or manipulated truth. That may be what you think but some of it is actually the truth," I widened my eyes at him because now I was even more intrigued than I have been lately. I wanted to know deeply, what were the truths and what were the lies? If Liam is able to piece everything together then I want to as well surely there isn't anything wrong with that. Yet instead I came out with a different sentence entirely "I need someone to trust Liam," in a way it seemed that I hurt him because there was a small hint of it inside his eyes "You can trust me Willow, you said that yourself," I took my hands in his and clutched hold of them tightly with meaning with another shake of my head at him "No I know that, but you can't help me out there. At the moment, your still up here," I gestured to my head so I could emphasise my point, he cocked his head slightly in acknowledgement seeing as he understood "Which is great at the moment I guess, but you still need to tell me some answers and you can only do that from my head but not out there. Out there, in the real world there had to be someone who I can trust, someone I can rely on who won't tell me lies or manipulate the truth like you said."

He nodded clearly at me now understanding why I asked what I did. Yes I wanted answers more from him than anybody else at the moment though I knew that wasn't going to be the case others, like Alesandro, would keep telling me things though I couldn't believe them straight away. That was always going to happen but as of this moment I knew Liam couldn't tell me what was going on as the scene around me started to fade, the sunset area was beginning to dim around back to its natural state of black. "Willow there is one person you can trust and that person alone okay," I nodded at me quickly hoping the light wouldn't fade just before he was going to tell me "Tell me who it is," he made direct contact with me so I stared deeply into the azure as he whispered "Kai," suddenly I shot up from the bed whispering "Kai!" at the same time I almost yelled out his name alarming the person sat in front of me "Hey, hey it's alright," I shook my head slightly and looked round the surroundings to find I was led back on the circular bed with the desk sat in front of me, with the window bed to the left of me and the separate room to the bathroom to the right of me. I felt disappointed, I wished I could have stayed asleep for longer and spent more time with Liam but that didn't seem to be the case, instead I was face to face with Alesandro. "Who's Kai?" he seemed curious to the name I cried out as I woke but not alarmed or threatening just, curious. "It doesn't matter, what are you doing here?" I brought my legs up close to my chest as I watched him make himself get comfortable on the bottom side of the bed "Well considering you left the dinner early, for appropriate circumstances of course, I thought you might be hungry that's all so I brought up some of the food for you," I was suddenly shocked at his generosity towards me. I still couldn't understand if everything he was pulling towards me was out of the kindness of his heart or if it were all an act.

I took the plate from him anyway to show that I wasn't going to be disrespectful though I did play around with it a lot, I guess I felt incredibly awkward with him still sat there even though he wasn't looking directly at me but when he did gaze at me a few times I'm pretty sure he could see how the tension in my body. What didn't help either was the history between the two of us, yes I know I keep saying how I can't remember and everything I've been told could be lies but because of it, it brought the depressing emotion between Alesandro and I with neither of us knowing how to counteract it. "You know when you were a child the first time you ever visited this place you insisted you have this room," I looked up at him from the food and paid more attention on him; it seemed he found a way outside of the awkwardness to start at least a small conversation with me. "James and I couldn't help but laugh as you literally begged me for the room. The reason you wanted it so bad was because it had the best view of the ocean near the edge of the kingdom. You always said that whenever you were angry or stressed the ocean would always calm you down as it was smooth almost having a mind of its own but most importantly you said it was free," I smiled at him, it was a genuine smile because I knew he was telling the truth as even though my memories were gone that was one thing that actually stayed intact. Whenever I could at Ivna, because my father didn't like me leaving the castle even though I did so anyway, I would always visit the frozen lake. It wasn't as great as the ocean but it was the closest I could get to be close to one, even though I still left the castle I still respected my father's wishes and kept close to home so I never went as far out to the borderline. "You remember that?" I asked sounding a little surprised this man in front of me would remember something like that, especially about me "I remember a lot of things about you Willow. I cared a lot about you. We spent a lot of time together when you were a child; I helped you decorate this room with the others which is why there are carvings all over the door border. Each of you carved the whole door border and didn't care that you got blisters afterwards. Don't tell Jayden, but he cried the most about having blisters all over his hands he was a nightmare to stop his moaning." I couldn't help but laugh at that remark; who knew Jayden would have been a nightmare as a child and not in the best of ways considering how tough he is nowadays.

Alesandro was also laughing at his remark; for a moment I actually felt safe and welcome, I didn't feel alone or scared I actually felt like a normal human being who was having fun and I was enjoying it. "Willow, I just want you to know that whatever you've been told about me I would never hurt you intentionally." He suddenly raised his hand up as I went to open my mouth to speak "Let me finish...please I need to. I know what I did back then was wrong. You said no and I should have respected your wishes. I was so caught up in everything, the prophecy, the power which was rising and how you didn't have the water element, everything just seemed so right to me and I had that urge to complete something I thought was right. I should never have gave you the power you have now it wasn't fair let alone right, I never thought of the consequences which would come with it, I guess I was only thinking of myself. I loved you so much Willow and I still do. I love you as if you were my own daughter that's why I would never do anything to you so...I just want you to know that I'm sorry. I know it won't do anything and I know you won't ever forgive me, I just had to tell you I couldn't go on knowing you didn't know that." I could actually see the tears welling up gently inside his eyes as he spoke though they wouldn't fall and he wouldn't show the crack inside his voice, he was trying to remain strong that part was evident. Right here, was I seeing the real man, the real man of Alesandro? Is this the man I grew up with when I was a child? Was this my father's best friend? He said I was like his daughter and that's a lot coming from him considering he doesn't have one. I don't know what to think or feel; an emptiness which used to belong in my chest was slowly starting to feel whole again. Was this what I needed? This couldn't be the way to find closure in the break of my heart at the moment, surely it wasn't yet it seemed like it was. True it didn't feel the whole break in my heart but it did do something and the words which came out his mouth sounded like truth they didn't sound like a lie.

How could I say that though? Yvette's words sounded like the truth, as did Hayden and Xira's but these, these words they were different something about them made them different, something inside made them seem more truthful than anything else I have heard so far. They sounded like the same truth I got with Liam. I phased out for a moment so when I came back to the present I noticed he was already walking away "Your probably right," he stopped in his tracks and looked back round to face me, there was almost a hint of hope inside his eyes when he gazed at me however there was also a glass of worry. "I may never forgive you for what you did to me but I do understand. If the situation was reversed, I was the adult and you were the child, I probably would have done the same thing and still it wouldn't have been okay. So yes I understand why you did what you did it but it doesn't mean it's forgivable, though it shouldn't cause this misshapen relationship between us." Strangely enough I could feel a smile shape on my face just as his brightened. I lifted the plate of food back up off the bed which I hadn't know I'd put down thinking he was about to leave though as his voice lifted back up I was proven wrong, "Do you still like books?" I raised my head in his direction crossing my eyes slightly confused at the random question "Yes, I love them," he soon gestured his head out of the door saying "Follow me," immediately I pushed myself away from the bed full of curiosity. I didn't care how I looked I ran after the man in front of me with my hair in a slight mess, running with bare feet still in the dress Livy gave me earlier. I soon caught up with him standing by his side as he took me round numerous curves and bends until we reached tow huge oaken doors. "Close your eyes," I did so still curious to why; I heard him push the two doors open wide before standing behind me. I felt him place both his hands gently on my arms leading me into the room.

"Okay now open your eyes," as I did open them I found I was surrounded by rows and rows, shelves and shelves of numerous books. Each of them stacked neatly against one another; the light from the glass windows rebounded off each book and it seemed that each one of them had been kept clean as there wasn't one speck of dust on any of them. "When no one was looking, you always snuck in here with Hayden so when none of us could find the pair of you we always knew this would be the place you'd be and we were correct." I looked round at him surprised as he was beaming at me; I followed one trail of books dragging my finger over each of the spines in turn finally feeling in a place I belonged, finally feeling something which felt like home. "How many times did I come down here with him?" I asked intrigued as I kept scanning each of the books "Too many to count. You even brought Ziva in here a few times and the three of you used to hide from one another and then the others started to come as well. But most of the time, we found you sat in here at night. You'd sit at the window with a book and you'd read for hours but by that time you fell asleep and someone had to carry you upstairs," I couldn't help but laugh as that sounded like something I would do but then my mind wandered to a name which kept popping up "Where is Ziva? I've heard her name quite a few times but I don't really know much about her or where she is?" I watched as Alesandro suddenly looked uneasy as if he were hiding something from me. I moved out from the rows of books to look at him seriously "Firstly, she's Xira's only child so I'm not going to say much about it, you should speak with her. As for her whereabouts, she's been missing for quite some time now. No one knows where she is?" This struck me hard. I wasn't sure why but it did that small hole in my heart which was starting to heal suddenly grew deeper as if it didn't grow at all.

I knew this girl as a child and now she was missing. How was I supposed to handle news like that? "I'm sorry Willow," I nodded at Alesandro for his honestly but now I just wanted to be alone again "I'm gonna stay here for a while if that's okay?" he nodded back at me before making a leave and with the final slam of the doors I was left alone in the library.