A/N: I'm using the English Sub to write the dialogue so it may not be similar to the English Dub.

"Do you really have to leave?" Yachiru whined.

"We went over this, Yachiru. Someone needs to look after Ichi and the others," I explained as I packed the rest of my belongings in a bag.

She sighed for the tenth time since coming into my room to 'help'.

"Under the bed, behind the blue sheet, you'll find a present," I said without turning. I heard her diving under the bed.

"Yay, candy!" That seemed to placate her for me to finish packing.

The last few days had been full on. Between getting advice and help from Unohana, avoiding fights with Kenpachi (when Unohana tells you to avoid fighting, you listen well) and having dinner with the famed Kukaku who'd helped the others into the soul society, I had little time to ponder the D-day.

Which was today. I was still packing because procrastination was the biggest waste of time and I didn't want to leave yet. I stared down at the soul reaper uniform I had folded neatly at the top. Merely for show. I hadn't even been deemed a Substitute.

I bit back tears. Even though nothing official had been reported that I was no longer a soul reaper, the fact that my only choices were leave or die spoke volumes. I shoved more clothes on top and my hairbrush before the tears started.

"They're leaving, you better get your arse into gear," Ikkaku hollered.

I slung the bag over my shoulder. "Let's go."

Yachiru nodded because her cheeks were full of candy. She ran out the door. Ikkaku met me halfway down the hall, a hand out. I palmed off my bag since he appeared to be in the mood to be a gentleman and followed quietly.

"Hang on, Kera, I uh need to ask you something," he muttered, grabbing me suddenly by the hand and dragging me into a shaded alcove.

I cocked an eyebrow. "What's this about?"

He shuffled his feet around. I had never seen Ikkaku nervous before which gave me a little cause for concern. "I really like you, Kera. And not just as a comrade, squad mate or friend."

I froze, watching the play of emotions across his face. Did he just? Dumbfounded, lost for words. Chiya would be having a field day with this news. He stepped closer and my heart thundered in my chest.

"I just had to tell you before you left, before I lost my nerve." He reached up and brushed hair behind my ear.

This couldn't be happening. Guilt riddled me. I hadn't realised his feelings for me had morphed into this. How could I make him stop telling me that he likes me so when I only see him as one of my best friends without breaking his heart?

"Ikkaku," I started, the words dying when he lowered his head. He placed a soft kiss to the edge of my mouth.

When he drew back, he held my cheek with the gentlest touch and said, "But I know."

"Know what?" I squeaked out.

"I know you could never like me like you like him." He nodded his head in the general direction of Kenpachi's quarters. "And I understand."

I stepped out of his embrace, rubbing my arms. I felt bad for not noticing sooner so I could have let him down gently.

"Does this mean we can't be friends anymore?"

The heartache in his eyes disappeared and that signature grin of his returned. "Of course we're still buds. I just had to get it off my chest before I imploded. You'll need someone to keep you updated with all the going-ons in the Soul Society while you're gone." He slung an arm over my shoulders and steered me back into the light.

"You just want excuses to come to the World of the Living, don't you?"

"The World of the Living does have pretty good alcohol."

I elbowed him in the gut and he laughed it off, ruffling my hair. He dodged my next attack, which probably would have hurt more being my fist.

It couldn't have been easy for him to tell me that and the guilt wrapped around me again. But I couldn't change how I felt, as my eyes sought out the captain's back in the crowd when we arrived before the Senkaimon.

"There you are, Kera!" Orihime grabbed my hands. "I can't believe you're coming home with us."

I smiled and didn't add the biting retort of 'me neither' to it. She didn't know that it wasn't my choice. The only person that knew was Ichigo, so I had a place to stay when we returned.

"This is the official Senkaimon," Jushiro explained. "Of course, I incorporated a Reishihenkanki for you."

"Thank you," I said to the Captain with a bow, Orihime in near perfect synch with my movements.

"I can't wait to get home and cook. I've been missing a good meal," she said with a content sigh.

My stomach gave an approving grumble. "Hope you'll have enough for me as well."

She started talking animatedly about her next meal ideas before she spotted Rukia over my shoulder. She grabbed me and dragged me over to where Uryu and Chad stood talking to her.

"Rukia, here!" Uryu made it!" Orihime said, flourishing a dress with blue trim.

"Wow, impressive," Rukia cooed, reaching out to fondle the fabric. "But... I'm no longer..."

"You've got to wear it!" Orihime commanded.

"O-oh, okay." She had no chance against Orihime.

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Joshiro hand Ichigo a small object. A Substitute Soul Reaper Combat Pass. To say jealously didn't darken my mood was an understatement. I looked away before it erupted into something physical.

"Everyone, it's time!" Jushiro said. The Senkaimon 's glow went from blue to white.

I dropped my bag on the ground and ran over to those of Squad 11 who'd come to see us off.

"Where'd Yachiru go? She was in front of us."

"She was here but I don't think she wanted to cry in front of you," Yumichika said.

"And the Captain didn't want to come either," Ikkaku added for my unasked question.

That stung more than ever. I'd barely seen him at all in the barracks and the times I did were fleeting as he chased after Ichigo. He was definitely actively avoiding me.

"Can you tell her there's more sugar under my bed?" There was also a note saying to cause a lot of trouble for this lot which would delight her.

I had wanted to hug Yachiru one last time but there wasn't much I could do now. And the Captain. I'd wanted to tell him I'd become stronger. I didn't have plans to sit around on my arse while away.

"Don't miss me too much," I said to the others to hide my sadness.

"Not likely to happen," Ikkaku quipped with a smile and I rolled my eyes at him.

I risked a glance back when I stepped into the Senkaimon. The Squad waved back at me but my eyes strayed to Squad 11. I swear I'll come home again. No matter what it takes.

It took my eyes a second to adjust. Is that rumbling I hear?

"Ruuunnnn!" Ichigo screamed.

One glance over my shoulder and I bolted. The damn train behind us didn't care that I was still injured.

"Official my butt! It's exactly the same as before! Yoruichi, what the hell?" Ichigo exclaimed, arms pumping like crazy.

"Only Soul Repaers can use the Hell Butterfly. Stop complaining and run!" he shouted back, of course leading the pack. "Look! We're almost at the exit. Don't stop, just run through it!"

We leapt out of a square in the sky to the starry night over Karakura town. I had a second to marvel at the light below before we started falling. The others screamed, I held my breath.

A giant cotton sheet enveloped us and we jostled against each other before it unfurled like a magic carpet. I was sitting beside Tessai.

"Welcome back, everyone," said Hat 'n' Clogs. He sat at the front of the sheet.

I marvelled as we coasted through the air. Travelling in style. This close to 'home', my body grew weary all over. I couldn't wait to be snuggled beneath the blankets.

"I'm really sorry." I blinked in surprise at Urahara's sudden apology. He knelt before Ichigo with his hat off.

"Stop that," Ichigo said. "It's fine. I'm not mad. You didn't really do anything bad. Your motivation aside, you did save us and made us stronger. I'm thankful. So please don't apologise."

"Okay."

"But..." Ichigo knelt down to his level. "Can I ask you just one thing? You didn't tell me the truth because you thought I'd be scared and run away?"

Urahara replaced his had and raised his fan. "Ah, exactly right!" He earned an Ichigo elbow for that.

"Now that pisses me off!" growled Ichigo.

I covered my laughter with a hand.

"I-I didn't expect the elbow," grumbled Urahara.

"Also, please apologise to Rukia," Ichigo added. "Though she'll probably say the same thing."

We lapsed into silence a while longer. My eyelids drooped.

"Mr Urahara, can you drop me off around here?" Uryu said.

"Yes, yes! Got it!"

One by one, we dropped off the others until it was just Ichigo and I.

"You sure you want to get off here?" Urahara said.

"Yep," Ichigo replied. We leapt off the magic carpet.

"Huh? This isn't our stop," I said.

"I know." We stood at the banks of the canal, overlooking the tranquil water. A full moon reflected back.

We stood in contemplative silence. My thoughts strayed to the future and the inevitable fight to come. By the light of the full moon, I vowed to become even stronger. This wasn't over and I had no plans on losing to Aizen again.

When we arrived back at the Kurosaki Clinic, all was quiet. We snuck into the house and tiptoed our way to our bedrooms. I slid the door shut quietly behind me and dropped the bag to the ground.

Face first, I planted myself in the bed. Tomorrow, training started. I had some catching up to do.