I didn't drive home, I didn't want to talk to anyone right now. I just drove down the everlasting highway as the music blasted. I tried desperately to drain out all thoughts but how could I?

The whole school was talking about me. They thought I was either being pitted by Gray or he was settling for me. I don't know which is worse but why can't a guy just like me? Is that really too much to ask?

I'm not one to constantly throw myself a pity party for myself, but I think this time I'll allow it.

I wouldn't even care about what people thought so much, but what if it's true? What if Gray doesn't really like me and is just trying to get laid, or is doing Logan a favor, or even just pulling some kind of suck joke on me?

No matter what the true reason one thing was for sure, I was definitely not going to the football game tonight.

It was ten o'clock on a Friday night, and I - a senior - was sitting at home alone, eating cheese puffs in my pajamas.

Part of me wished I went to the game, even if it was just to hang out with my friends and not Gray. Although I knew everyone would be staring at me, watching me, judging me. Even if they weren't it would still feel like that to me.

But if I did go, and if I did meet up with Gray, I wondered what would have happened. Would he take me to the football after party? Would we sit under the bleachers, or maybe on the fifty yard line once everyone left? Would we have our perfect storybook night?

And just like that my mind took off and I started imagining everything that could have been.

Gray, running his hands through my hair, telling me how he feels about me, how he really does like me. Then his hand would move to my check and his perfect heart shaped lips would meet mine. My hand would slip underneath his shirt and run up his glorious abs. I would rip his shirt off and he would do the same to mine. He would press me down against the football turf and I would feel his body press up against mine. His body heat making me so hot, or maybe that was because of the fact that his hands were squeaking my breasts or that his dick was growing and pressing up against me.

I started moaning, not just in my fantasy but in real life. I sat on my bed, eyes closed and legs rubbing against each other as I let my imagination run wild.

Mabye now is a good time to tell you that I'm a huge romantic, though I'm seventeen and never had sex, or a kiss, or even a boyfriend.

I was as pure as they come, or at least outside of my head I was.

I was still daydreaming about how Gray Anderson would kiss my neck and whisper soft things in my ear as his hands slipped down into uncharted territory.

I moaned some more as my own hands went to some places on myself. I felt myself get a little wet but I was sadly pulled out of my pleasurable dreams by a knock at my front door.

My brother was at the football game and my mom was working a night shift at the hospital so it was just me who was home.

I walked downstairs in nothing but an overgrown white 'I heart NYC' t-shirt and black panties that were just covered.

I expected a mailman, my brother, my mom, a freaking girl scout even. Anyone but who was actually at my doorstep.

You guessed it, when I opened the door, there stood dreamy Gray Anderson. I was so shocked I thought this could just be part of a dream or me fantising again, but no it was real. Much too real.

"Hey." He spoke quiet and even a little sad. I focused on his lips when he talked and wondered how amazing they must taste.

"Hey." I practically choked out. "What are you doing here?"

"You didn't come to the game." He told me like I didn't obviously know that. Could he actually be upset? Did he really want me there?

"Ya, I just wasn't really feeling up to it." I crossed my arms and didn't dare look into his dreamy green eyes. I needed to stay calm and collected, not stumbling over my words like I normally did around him. So I kept my eyes plastered to the ground and wished that he would just leave already.

"Oh." He said awkwardly. There was a long silence and I just hummed something to try to make it less weird, that didn't work.

"Okay we'll see ya." I put my hand on the door close it but Gray pressed his own in the opposing side and held it open.

I finally looked into his eyes and I started to melt. All I wanted to do was pounce on him. Though I just stared at him as he ran his hand through his hair, giving it this messy I don't care / just woke up look. Could he get any dreemier?

"Did I do something?" He asked and my heart dropped. Should I tell him what everyone was saying? Should I ask him if it's true? Should I just make him leave and then never talk to him again? Or pretend like everything was fine and I just wasn't feeling well?

Too many decisions, too much to think about and not enough time. "Yes." Is all I blurred out.

Stupid stupid stupid.

"Yes?" He asked shocked.

"No!" I practically yelled. Gosh I wasn't making this any better. Fix this! Fix this! I yelled at myself. "You should leave." I said and then slammed the door in his face.

"Fuck." I muttered as I looked at a closed door with Gray standing behind it. I opened it back up quickly to see Gray standing there with the most confused expression I've ever seen. I couldn't lie, he looked ever cuter.

Though he didn't say anything, neither did I. My hand was still on the door and I panicked and slammed the door once more.

What was wrong with me? I could still see Gray through the foggy glass door and I locked it as fast as I could.

I ran upstairs and mentally killed myself for doing what I just did.

I jumped into my bed and buried my head in a sea of pillows. "Why?" I groaned and I could feel a few years escaping my eyes.

I knew I was awkward, but not this awkward. But honestly, how would you react if your crush and most popular boy in the whole school showed up at your house?

My phone buzzed and I reached to the other side of the bed and grabbed it. I could have died when I saw it was a text from Gray. I staired at the notification, too scared to open it and see what it said.

Probably how I was a weirdo or a loser. He probably never wanted to see me again. So I decided not to open it, I didn't need to feel that pain right now. I set the phone beside me and just looked at it. The notification with Gray's name mocking me, telling me all the horrible things he just texted me.

Then the worst thing happened, the phone started to vibrate and Gray's name exploded off the screen. He was calling me, but why? How much of a mess could I really be in?

I couldn't hold back any longer, I picked it up and held it to my ear, only I didn't say a word.

"River?" I heard him ask from the other side of the phone.

"Y-yes?" I choked.

"Look out your window." He laughed and then hung up.

I did was I was told and opened my bedroom window and peeked my head out. "Hey!" Gray called up from the ground below me.

"Hi." I called back down.

"So uh, what's going on?" He laughed.

"I'm sorry, it's just, now's not really a good time." I knew I should end it there and then, before I could make it any worse, if that's even possible.

"Hey wait! Please!" He yelled as I started to close the window. "I can't leave knowing you hate me." His eyes sparked in the dark night, compelling me to keep taking to him.

I sighed, "I don't hate you." I told him.

"Then what did I do? What happened?" He really sounded hurt and I couldn't stop myself from saying exactly what was on my mind.

"Is what the whole school is saying true? Are you just pretending to take an interest in me to do Logan a favor? Or am I your last decent option? Or is this whole thing a big prank or something?" I couldn't stop myself from asking. I needed to know.

"What?" He practically laughed. "River that's ridiculous. Who do you think I am?" I raised my eyebrows at him, suddenly feeling a little more confident. Then he stopped. Thought for a moment, and sighed. "I'm sorry if I made you feel like I was playing you, or had any other alternative motive. I just like you River, and that's all there is to it."

My heart dropped. That's all I ever wanted to hear, and it was even better in real life than it was in my fantasies. "I like you too." I told him honestly. "But everyone is saying-"

"Fuck everyone!" He yelled. "Who cares what they think?" He was right, and his confidence just made him all the more attractive. "Come to the football after party with me, wear my jersey and let's show those assholes that they could say whatever they want, it doesn't change the fact that your amazing and I want to be with you."

This wasn't real, it couldn't be real, yet it was. And those exact words were coming out of Gray Anderson's mouth and they were for me. Everything he was saying was for me. "Okay, let's go." I said before I had time to stop the words from leaving my lips.

A large sparkling smile lit across Gray's face. "Awesome, meet me out here in ten minutes." I turned to go get ready but he called me back again. "And River, maybe put on some pants?" He laughed.

I looked down at myself and realized this whole time I was wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt. I blushed hard and swung the currents in front of my window so Gray couldn't see me, though I kept it open so I could hear the adorable laugh coming from the boy of my dreams.

Fifteen minutes later I walked outside of the house to Meet Gray and go to my first football party.

I was pretty sure this was all a dream, so why not wear something totally crazy and super hot? I did wear Gray's jersey, but that was it. No bra, no panties, just a white jersey that came just above me knee, and fishnet stockings that ended at the thigh.

My hair was down and waved and I put on deep red lipstick and high black heels.

I could see Gray's eyes practically pop out of his head as he saw me.

"Wow." Was all he said, but I could tell he liked it... a lot.

"New year, new me." I told him with a wink. "Now let's go."

I don't know what came over me but I felt like a different person. Maybe it was the fact that I knew Gray liked me, or that this was all just too crazy to be real, but I let myself do whatever the heck I was doing.

For a moment as I rode in Gray's gray Jeep, I felt as if the whole world was at my feet, and nothing could go wrong.

And then it hit me, reality. And I couldn't just open my eyes and stop the fantasy, it wasn't a fantasy at all. My dreamy perfect night was going to be a nightmare.

What did I just do?...