Lilly had woken a few times. Once, Quentin had roused her to drink a glass of water that she was too tired to protest. Again, when she felt cool cloth dabbing at her forehead and caught sight of Eliot's familiar face. Finally, in the late afternoon, she'd managed to drag herself from slumber long enough to go to the bathroom and stare into the mirror for what could've been hours or merely seconds. It had been Julia of all people who barged in to find Lilly sprawled across the floor in a fit of hysterics. Once the floodgates opened, it was all she could do not to pass out from the poignancy of her grief. It crashed upon her with soul-crushing intensity, and Lilly could do nothing but let it overtake her.

She didn't know how she'd ended up tucked beneath the sheets of Quentin's bedroom again, nor did she remember when she'd fallen asleep. When her eyes opened once more, the room was lit by a single lamp at the bedside table. The untouched soup had been cleared away. In its place was a tiny glass vase with three fresh daisies poking out. They seemed to mock her with their beauty. How wrong were they to represent joy and life at such a time? She felt the urge to knock it to the floor and crush their perfect petals beneath her heel. How dare they live when he was dead.

"How are you feeling?" Lilly's gaze lifted from the flowers to the source of the voice. At the far corner of Quentin's bed, sat a young woman in dark jeans and a cropped shimmering tank top. Her hair fell past her chest in bright magenta curls. If Lilly could summon a smile, it would've lit her face with joy.

"Dani?" It was as if saying her friend's name aloud opened the floodgates to the endless well of grief inside her. Lilly gasped through pouring tears. Without hesitation, Dani crawled across the bed and wrapped her arms around her. Her embrace was so achingly familiar to Lilly that it was second nature to snuggle closer. Delicate fingers stroked her hair, and Dani whispered into the silent room words of comfort. Though they were nothing more than empty promises that everything would be okay, her assurance seemed to soften the sharp edges of her pain. She let herself be cradled in Dani's arms until she hiccuped with the dregs of her tears.

"What are you doing here?" Lilly croaked, lifting her chin from Dani's chest to look up at her friend.

"Is that a joke?" Dani lifted a brow with displeasure. "Did you think I'd just ignore this?" Lilly thought about it for a second. She didn't know what she expected anymore. Nothing ever happened the way she'd planned it, and she'd come to expect the unexpected. "Quentin called me as soon as he got back. Saia's downstairs. She doesn't really do crying." Lilly sniffed in a sad attempt at a chuckle. She hadn't realized how much she longed to have Dani by her side until now. It was like living your life without seeing the sun, only to realize that all this time, you'd been missing such an integral part of life.

"I missed you so much." Another round of tears ripped out of her in a gasp, and Dani pulled her closer.

"I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere." She cooed, adjusting herself so that her head rested on the pillow beside Lilly's. Dani ran the pad of her thumb across Lilly's damp cheek. Her gaze fell to the mattress beneath her, and a crinkle formed between her eyes.

"What is it?" Lilly whispered. Dani took a deep breath.

"When Alex--" Her voice trailed off before she could voice the word. "I just needed to get out. I couldn't stick around knowing that he wouldn't be there. But I should've stayed with you. You and Ava. I hate the bitch, but she shouldn't have had to go through that alone."

"Listen," Lilly lifted her hand to grip Dani's. "You did what you needed to. We all grieve differently. I don't blame you for leaving. You're here now. That's what matters."

"Saia and I kept each other sane." Dani smiled wistfully at the thought. "You should've seen her when we went to Disney World. She was like a kid in a candy store." Dani chuckled, and Lilly gave her an assessing stare. She wondered if this was how she looked when talking about Penny.

"You two?" Lilly let the words trail off in a question. Dani's cheeks burned, and she tucked her chin to hide the smile that lit up her whole face.

"Yeah," she nodded, brushing back a stray pink hair from her forehead. "We're good."

"I'm glad you're happy." Lilly's eyes softened with sincerity.

"You will be, too." She muttered so softly that Lilly could scarcely hear it over the rustle of sheets as Dani pushed herself closer. "If I know one thing about you, it's that you're resilient. After everything that's happened, you're still standing."

"I wouldn't call this standing." Lilly gave a bitter scoff at that, the lump in her throat swelling to the point that she could hardly swallow. Dani knit her brows together, frowning. She pushed herself up on one elbow and cupped both hands around Lilly's cheeks. Lilly was forced to look her in the eyes.

"You're alive, aren't you? You're breathing. That's strength." There was such ferocity and conviction in Dani's voice that Lilly wondered how this woman could have such fire inside her. "Resilience isn't limited to acts of heroics. Sometimes staying alive, breathing, takes more strength than any battle." Dani's dark eyes welled with tears of her own, the pain within mirroring Lilly's. "If you can do that, I know you'll be alright."

Lilly's eyes had been trained on the same spot of Quentin's ceiling for the better part of an hour. She wasn't thinking of anything in particular. It was enough to sit in silence and try in vain to cope with the unbearable weight upon her chest. Her legs propped on the edge of the mattress, she couldn't bring herself to do anything else. For twenty-four hours straight, Lilly had done nothing but cry. Now the tears had dried, and all that remained was a pit in her stomach. She was so damned tired. Despite having done nothing but sleep, eat, cry, and repeat since returning from The Underworld.

Sunlight filtered through the open window across the room. Quentin had insisted on opening it, claiming it would do her good to have some fresh air. Lilly wondered if Evelyn had somehow managed to slip him an instruction manual on mothering. She'd always been a firm supporter of fresh air for the soul. The light breeze that rustled the dark curtains soothed her puffy hot cheeks and made her feel just slightly more alive.

Quentin left her that morning with a lingering hug and a promise to return with a way home. Now that they didn't have the button or Penny, they were stranded on Earth. Eliot had gone with him. Quentin hadn't spared her the details, but he did say that Eliot was banished by Ember on a whim. Lilly wasn't too concerned about it. Ember and Umber banished the Chatwins loads of times, usually when they grew bored and needed some entertainment. She hadn't missed the way Quentin had taken Eliot's hand in his before walking through their portal. He was beginning to move forward now.

Quentin was so much lighter since saying goodbye to Alice's Shade. She was sure it helped to know that she was taken care of, and had her brother. Martin, too. It was still strange to think of the little boy who'd been so pure and kind, to know that the true Martin was watching out for her. It was so hard for her to see everyone around her be so happy. As if the universe wanted to rub salt in her wounds by sprinkling good luck on everyone but her. Just as she thought things were starting to work out, a rug was pulled from beneath her.

Her limbs still felt bolted to the floor, and she was thankful to Julia for helping her into the bath earlier and washing the sewer grime from her hair. It was still damp and her skin was soft and lavender-scented from the oils Julia added. Dani had made a trip to Lilly's Illusionist bedroom to collect her clothes and essentials. It was overwhelmingly evident that none of them wanted to let her stray too far from their sight, and she couldn't bring herself to blame them. She walked about the cottage like a ghost, never saying more than two words, never leaving Quentin's bedroom for more than a few minutes. Lilly rolled her head to the side as a set of footsteps creaked down the hall and stopped just outside Quentin's room. Three gentle knocks sounded, and she gave a heavy sigh.

"Come in." Her throat was still hoarse, and her voice came out more like a croak. She stared down the line of dark stained hardwood to the door that swung open on its hinges. Kady stood uneasily at the threshold, taking in the woman sprawled across the floor with her legs on the bed.

"Hi," she said simply, her expression solemn.

"Hi," When Kady didn't step into the room, Lilly patted the spot beside her on the floor. Kady's leather boots thumped with each step until she sat beside Lilly and kicked them off to prop her legs up in the same fashion. Dark curls splayed out beneath her head, and Lilly scrunched her nose as one of them tickled against her face. She returned her gaze to the ceiling with another sigh. They didn't speak for a while, just sat together. It was easy to be silent. Not only because words felt too inconsequential compared to the pain, but because they could sense that the other was experiencing emotions akin to their own.

"It's my fault he's gone," Kady whispered, and in Lilly's periphery, she could see the tear streaming down the side of her face. Lilly's immediate impulse was to disagree, to comfort. But all of that died on her tongue. It occurred to her that she didn't know what the truth was. After all, Penny was getting that book for Kady. It was for that reason that he went into The Poison Room. "He got the book for me. For Julia, too." Kady wiped roughly at her damp cheeks. "Julia told me you saw him before you left the underworld. Did he- did he say anything about me?" Lilly let her head fall to the side again. Kady turned hers so that their faces were mere inches apart, and when Lilly looked into her jade green eyes, she found her own grief reflected within them.

"He told me to tell you that it wasn't your fault. It wasn't any of our faults."

"Bullshit," Kady breathed, and despite her venomous words, her tone was resigned. A tear trailed across the edge of her nose and fell to the floor with the faintest splat. "Penny didn't die in the Poison Room. He made it home."

"What?" Lilly's brows furrowed, but she didn't sit up.

"He showed up with the book in his hands, coughing blood, paler than I've ever seen him." Kady wiped her cheeks again, but at this point, she couldn't wipe them fast enough. "I tried everything to save him. I promise you I did." Kady took a shuddering breath, and now her tears had escalated to wracking sobs. Lilly let her tears drip down the side of her face and tickle her nose. Reaching out a hand in the space between them, she took hold of Kady's fingers and squeezed. "He told me to tell you he loved you. God, he loved you so much. I mean, really, he wouldn't shut up about it." A bubble of laughter escaped her, and Lilly gave a single chuckle. It died out after a moment, and they lay together until their cries subsided to little sniffles.

"Was it quick?" It took Kady a long time to say something in return. She seemed to debate how much of the horrific scene to share.

"Yeah," Kady decided. "He was only here for a minute, maybe two before he died in my arms."

"I'm glad he wasn't alone, at least." Lilly was at once thankful and bitter that she wasn't with him when it happened. She wasn't sure she would've survived the man she loved fading before her eyes, clutching his body close until his blood ran cold. Kady had been unfortunate enough to see it. The wound it had inflicted upon her was plain as day. "The book. Does it have the answer?" Lilly wasn't sure if she actually wanted to know. If it wasn't the right spell, then Penny died for nothing.

"Julia is working on it now." Kady squeezed her swollen eyes shut tightly, then blinked rapidly. "But I think it does." Another tear welled up in Lilly's eyes at the confirmation. She clutched Kady's hand tight and was grateful that she wasn't alone. Swallowing hard, Lilly set her jaw with determination.

"I want to help." Lilly nodded to herself. "He died getting that information. I want to make sure it wasn't in vain." Kady was already shaking her head.

"Lilly, this isn't your fight. Reynard, he's even more psychotic than The Beast was. Even more powerful." Kady's eyes bored into hers in earnest.

"All the more reason for me to go with you. You need all the power you can get."

"I don't think Penny would want you putting yourself in danger." Kady rose one brow as if to hammer in her point. Lilly rolled her eyes.

"Penny would know better than to tell me what I can and can't do." The little smirk of defiance was so achingly familiar to Kady. It seemed Penny had rubbed off on his girlfriend, or maybe Lilly had rubbed off on him.

"Yeah, he was a lot of things, but he wasn't an idiot." Kady chuckled lightly and bit her lip in thought. After a moment, she sighed in defeat. "Don't do anything heroic, okay. Penny would come back to haunt my ass if I let anything happen to you." Lilly gave a watery grin and lifted her hand from Kady's to hold it between their faces. Her pinky finger stuck out from a closed fist.

"I promise," Lilly nodded once, and Kady squinted her eyes with mistrust.

"You better not be lying to me." She deadpanned but brought her pinky up to wrap it around Lilly's anyway.

"Let's fuck Reynard up." They lay there together for what must've been at least an hour, sharing stories of Penny, laughing and crying together like they were old friends. Lilly had never considered her a friend, even when they'd been at Brakebills together. They just never seemed to mesh well. But now, her company was as easy as slipping into the warmth of her bed after a long day. Lilly wondered how it had come to this. How had they grown to the point where they fit together like two puzzle pieces, carved separately but undeniably akin to each other?

It was a bizarre turn of events when she thought back to their first meeting when they'd summoned Alice's brother, Charlie. They were barely more than hostile to each other. Then again, it had once been like that with Penny, and she'd grown to love him more than she ever thought possible. If that could develop from hating each other, surely being friends with Kady wasn't the strangest thing to happen.

Julia was sitting with Dani at the dining room table when they finally descended the stairs together. A massive leatherbound book with aged thick pages lay open before her. Saia had perched herself on the window seat with a single ring dagger spinning around her middle finger. She wore an all-black ensemble, a cropped shirt, joggers, and white running shoes. It was bizarre to see her in earth clothing. She'd only ever worn fighting leathers in Fillory, but somehow the outfit suited her just as well. Her hair was pulled into two dutch braids that fell down her back like onyx serpents.

"Hey," Julia looked between Lilly and Kady with soft eyes, assessing their features for any sign of how they were coping. "How are you feeling?" Julia was so different now that her shade had returned. She was no longer aloof, distant, light. She was soft, grounded, and empathetic. The trauma was undoubtedly there, lurking behind brown eyes and leaving a dark stain on the shade within. It was just as Martin had described. 'A dark spot on your very essence.' But beyond that, Julia was strong and caring, and though there was a shadow from Reynard's assault, she was strong enough to shine through it.

"A little better now." Lilly managed a weak smile. "Thanks." Julia returned it with a soft lift of her lips. Dani gave her an assessing look and seemed to deem her lucid enough not to bother doting. Saia kicked her legs out and over the side of the window seat and leaned forwards on her knees.

"She offered to help." Kady rounded the banister and took a seat beside Julia to peer into the open book. She tilted her head to the side in an attempt to read the words upside down.

"Are you sure? It's going to be--"

"Yeah, yeah, it's dangerous. I got the parental warning from Kady already. I'm coming."

"Okay then," Julia nodded, only vaguely taken aback by their sudden passion for the cause. "Good news, I found a spell here, turns metal objects into god-piercing weapons. And if it can be anything, a gun, right?" She gestured to a silver handgun laid across the table beside her. "But it will take every bit of god power John gave us just to make one bullet." John. Lilly had heard about him from Penny. He was Reynard's son. A U.S. Senator, too.

"So we've got one shot." Kady eyed the gun skeptically. "We better not miss." She ran a hand through her hair anxiously.

"I used to be pretty good at those arcade shooting games." Dani offered with a shrug, reaching over to scoop up the pistol and point it at a vase across the room. Luckily it wasn't loaded, and when she pressed the trigger, there was only a sharp click.

"Yeah, I don't think that's gonna cut it." Julia reached out to push the barrel of the gun down. Dani complied with a frown. She continued to fiddle with it like a child with a new toy. Her pink hair fell forward into her face as she leaned over it.

"Don't worry. I got this." Saia stood up from her seat and reached into the waist of her joggers. She came back out with two massive daggers and placed them on the table. Then she proceeded to lean over to pluck a gruesome paring knife from a strap around her ankle.

"The fuck?" Kady's lips had morphed to a grimace, her eyes bulging at the weapons Saia had produced.

"Were you carrying all that around the city?" Lilly picked up one of the larger blades and turned it over to inspect the perfectly sharp edge. She sincerely hoped Saia had a couple of sheathes tucked into her waistband.

"Of course." Saia nodded decidedly, oblivious to the looks of horror and disbelief on the faces of her peers. "What kind of woman doesn't carry a knife?" Lilly shook her head with amusement, and Dani rolled her eyes. She'd grown accustomed to Saia's arsenal while traveling together.

"You can't come," Julia announced, Saia's expression soured. "This plan hinges on Reynard being surprised. The more people we have, the less likely we are to succeed."

"Well, if she's coming, we're coming." Saia crossed her arms and nodded determinedly. "Any chance to fuck up a rapist is one I'm gonna take." Dani placed a calming hand on her arm and interjected.

"We'll be back up." She shot Saia a pointed look, and she huffed in response. "If things go sideways, just shout, and we'll be there." Dani tapped her temple twice to remind them of her Psychic gifts. Before anyone could further that line of questioning, Lilly returned the blade to the table and picked up the bullet Julia had stood upright beside the book. She rolled its smooth edge back and forth across her fingers pensively.

"How about an arrow?"