EPILOGUE

The program started and we were seated at a twelve-chair table. It was supposedly to be eight because that's what we practiced in our rehearsals but I don't know why did they changed the arrangement. Although, the arrangement was good because I get the chance to be seated right next to him and of course I could give him my gift secretly without making everybody notice. The theme of our sending-off party is A Night in Paris. The floor is already carpeted with maroon and it matched with the hanging yellow fancy dimmed chandeliers . The room is also air-conditioned.

After getting the chance to have a photograph with Francis, he never talked that much to me since then. The program that was given to us were boring but what makes the night better are the astonishing gown of our ladies' classmates. Their evening gowns were perfectly fitted to the theme and it makes me wish, I could wear those or I was there in their shoes. I am a gay-man ot a transgender, doing or cross-dressing myself. That's a different league already. Their make-up's are fierce but you could still see the innocence like ladies at the night staying in Paris which they considered as a city of love, hoping for luck that the man of their dreams would show-up.

During the middle of the program, the food was served simultaneously by 5 gorgeous men wearing their black suit uniform. The ambiance feels like, I am really in Paris. The city is not one of my best choices but I think most of all dreamed about going to some places like these. Having an experience with fancy dinner until the night goes old, it's very romantic.

"Hey, how are you guys?" A tall man in a plum tuxedo that looked good because of his red luscious lips approached us. Mr. Amortizado, our former grade 7 adviser.

"We're good sir." Another man seated at my left answered Mr. Amortizado, he is April June, wearing a cream suit with the old classic slicked black hair.

I just gave him a smile, we aren't that close of Mr. Amortizado, I mean, I was once his favorite but I refuse to be and tried to avoid him because I want to finish high school without cold wars between not teacher's pet. I saw Francis talked to him and they seemed to have fun because they both laughed. Maybe they were appreciating girls, well you know boys. A minutes after, Mr. Amortizado left our table with a smile. I stared at Francis, leading his eyes to my gift that I'm holding.

"Is this one for me?" He said as he accepted it and I gave him a nod.

"You're a sweet friend William and I'm sorry if I wasn't able to prepare one for you." He explained.

"No worries, I guess.." I said and paused then continue talking. "That's what friends are for."

It aches my heart a lot hearing myself that we are only friends because I knew that I wanted more. Maybe that's one thing I need to endure in having this kind of affection. I let down a deep sighed and stared secretly at the Francis who is now having a conversation with his friend from other section.

"Yatta, it is." I whispered to myself

I am used to read Japanese words that has been featured by bloggers in tumblr. Yatta means the state of joy after accomplishing a task. Despite of the sadness I felt, I somehow learned to receive happiness that eases my pain right now. Thank God, he gave me courage. Usually in this kind of situation, my body parts numbs and my visual started to get blurry or black. Well, maybe there's a pressure.

Since this is a sending off party, tomorrow we will have our moving-up ceremony in the afternoon and after that we may part ways. I don't know what track and strand he is taking in Senior High School. Even if we're friends, I am afraid to ask him, I don't want to know the fact that we are going in opposite ways. Like we're totally two different human being with different goals in life. The only clues I've got from him is, he loves calligraphy and art, while I'm into writing. That's why there's a pressure, I need to give him the gift before we part ways. Like, I don't want to give it to him tomorrow because I'm sure his parents will come. If I can't maybe, I'll lose the chance of having him.

I let passed a lot of chances for the past four years, but this time, I don't want to make an excuse or prolong my agony. I wanted to be free from what I am enduring. If things will change after, then I'll face it. After all, I've been expecting it.

"I believe the night is still young, you junior completers are given a chance to dance your friends or classmate with this romantic songs we prepared." The emcee announces and he started playing the playlist.

The first song was an instrumental of Nathan Sykes's Over and Over Again. Of course, a lot of the boys, stood up, asking some of the girls to dance with them. It is like JS Prom, you could see surprised girls, giggling because they were their first dance. Every girl would dream like that. Even me, I also dream and the man would be Francis. If I only wore a gown tonight and the woman of his dreams, he would invite me. I saw my friends waving at me, and I smiled because of the happiness they felt dancing with their gentleman.

It is a chivalrous act for every gentleman in the room to do. Any girls would like to dance with them. That's why even I stood up. I already picked someone I wanted to be my first dance and that's my best friend, Andrea. I went to her table and invited her to dance.

"May I have this dance?" I asked her and she gave me a warm smile.

I helped her out to stand in her chair and we went to dance floor, enjoying the music. Andrea wore a nice silver long dress and the make-up was good in her. She's majestic like queens. In the dance floor, you could pinpoint who's the couple or not because if it is not, you have another partner.

"Hey Andrea, you looked good tonight. I love your gown." I gave her a compliment and she laughed like a princess.

"Wishing to wear it?" She joked.

"Nah, suit and tux suits you well, I hope you're that handsome as always."

I gave her a smile, I don't know what to reply. A Thank you isn't enough to describe my gratitude. I am not used in being appreciated because there are two common things I'll always hear from the people around me. Which are, "He's gay." Or "Such a waste, girls would fall for him if he isn't like that." I admit, I have looks because my mother was a former model in her mid 20's but my gender is being criticize. Like people can give love even if that person is a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Transsexual.

A minute after, someone tapped at my shoulder, it was Jarod, my classmate who liked Andrea. During our practices, we were oriented that if someone taps you, he's asking for a dance to the someone you're dancing with. I gave Jarod a nod and land Andrea's hand softly to him and there they went dancing. I was about to return but I saw Francis is all alone in our table. He's one of the kill-joy gentlemen in our batch. he could dance with Bea or Amy, his friends. I don't want to return because I am escaping a conversation with him. Again, I am making-up an excuse just because of me being a coward.

But then he stood up and after that I saw him near to me, like centimeters away. He reached for my ears and whispered,

"May I have this dance William Rain Roswell?" He asked.

Who am I to refuse? The man of my dreams invited me to dance along with him as romantic songs play. I am in tears right now but more importantly, I immediately gave him a nod. He took my hand, and we walked few steps where people are not that many. No one could notice us because a lot of people are dancing and a perfect timing, the lights were dimmed.

The music ended and a classic song followed. Elvis Presly's, Can't help falling in love. Francis never talked as we continued to sway romantically. Our eyes are locked on to each other. I never thought that his coffee eyes would melt my heart further. I guess, coffee makes a person warm. Also his smile's were the best because of the thin lips he has and mint vanilla breathe that has a little of steak from what we ate.

This is the first time he was this close to me. Holding hands, dancing and not minding the time. My heart beats faster as usual but each time it beats, it is like I'm going to die. It is like I am at the last hour of my life, and i need to cherish it.

"Francis, are you not embarrassed that you're dancing with me?" I asked to break the silence.

"Of course not, why would I? I'm dancing with my friend. There's no embarrassment in cherishing the rest of your night with people like you." He explained.

He's right, there's nothing to get embarrassed. I'm his friend, and that's all. People should not give malice for they know our differences. I guess, right now, I am the luckiest gay friend. I get to dance with the straight person I love. It's a dream come true. I did not do efforts, I just wished for it. A genie, no, wait, God granted my wish. I don't have to push myself anymore because I'm already this close as him. I started to shred tears again. Tears of joy actually.

"Omedettou, Francis-kun." I mumbled.

"Omedettou, William-san."He replied.

Omedettou means congratulations in Japanese. We survived, one heck of a school year. I mean, four years of junior high, filled with memories, laughter, sadness, hatred and love. We are supposed to move on and leave the insignificant things but how can I leave this kind of moment when you wanted to be stuck in here. I saw Francis reached out in my cheeks and he wiped my tears using his thumb. It was soft and it was the first time feeling that I am not alone and there's someone who is there for me.

"I opened your gift and read the message." He stated as he gave me a warm smile

.

I don't know what to say. I'm completely blank because of the fact that he already read my message. Therefore he knows about my feelings. I wanted to walk-out but he held my hands tightly like what I did to his chest in my imagination. He doesn't want me to escape. He wanted to talk to that matter but I wanted to runaway from it. I already prepared myself for the possible outcomes but I'm still scared.

"First, I wanted to tell you that you sucked in Arts, giving the person you love with a uneven paper quilled butterfly." He scolded me as he took a deep sighed.

"But your words are simply amazing. You would make as a good author someday that will be loved not only by me but also with other people." he continued.

I immediately hugged him and started crying in his tuxedo. This is life satisfaction, getting an appreciation from the man you love. He did not let me stopped from hugging me, instead he held me tight as he swayed our bodies while his hands is caressing my back.

"William, thank you for the love you gave. But I wanted you to know that someday, I'll be marrying the girl i love." He said.

"I understand that your straight Francis." I replied and it pains me a lot to hear those words.

This is the time where he answered my heart, and breaking it little by little. I can cope up with the pain because I endured greater than this. I've been preparing my heart for this pain for four years already. This shouldn't be my reaction.

"But William, I wanted you to know that I'll support you no matter what because our friendship matters most right now." He said and gave me an assurance.

I tilted my head and lay down in his chest. I could hear his heart, pounding fast. I guess I am not the only who feels like dying. The assurance he gave made me feel secured. At least, he won't change and no one will be leaving.

"That's the degree of my love that I could give to you right now, William Rain Roswell." He said and hugged me.

We enjoyed the music that follows and danced until our hearts felt tired and contended. This time, I will no longer imagine. He holds my hand and willing to have a worn-out night with me. I am with, Francis Amour Saito, if you study his name, Francis means French freeman while Amour is the French word for love. Well Saito is a Japanese last name which eventually means Pure.

Tonight, I am receiving PURE LOVE FROM A FRENCH FREEMAN under one room which was set in a evening in Paris, the city of love and I think that's the highest degree of love I ever felt. No one could measure up like this, just the silly, Francis Amour Saito that I love for four years.

"Now the time is up for you to dance a little upbeat. Brace yourself and let's party!" The emcee announced and played a 90's song.