ELLIOT

It had been three days since Rachel's suicide attempt. The whole school was still talking about it. Why wouldn't they? It was her second time, after all. I wonder who saved her the last time.

I couldn't lie to myself. I was frightened to death when I saw her standing in her bathroom with a shivering a body, trembling hands, and deeply cut wrists as if she had been running the sharpest blade back and forth through her skin. She was standing in a pond of blood. She had lost so much blood, but she made it out alive. The universe really didn't want her dead.

I was currently sitting in the library with a book in my lap when someone poked my shoulder. I glance sideways and find Skylar plopping down next to me in the couch.

"What's up? Elli Belli?" Her ocean blue eyes gazed back at me while her wavy hair was resting loose down her shoulders.

Flustered, I stared at her. "Elli what?"

"I just came up with it now," she admitted, laughing.

I sighed. "Are you trying to cheer me up?"

"Of course. Look at you. You've had sad puppy eyes for the last three days," she said, frowning like a puppy to make a point.

"Are you saying I'm worried about Rachel, because if you are, let me just tell you that I'm not," I clarified, trying to sound firm.

"Of course you aren't," she said, ironically.

She stared at me with an intense look, leaving me to sit uncomfortably next to her. I try to peel my gaze off her, but no matter how hard I tried, her intense gaze kept boring into me.

"Okay!" I exclaimed, holding my hands up in surrender.

"I'm worried," I mumbled, quietly.

"Worried for who?"

I shot her a deadly look while Skylar continues to smile mischievously.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

I groaned of annoyance, but something told me Skylar wouldn't leave me alone before she convinced me to admit it.

"Rachel. I'm worried about Rachel. Satisfied?" I throw her a fake smile.

She smirked. "Very satisfied."

I rolled my eyes and gazed out the window, snowflakes gently falling down from sky while the sun was shining brightly.

"Relax, bro. She'll be back before you know it," Skylar assured, patting my shoulder.

"Yeah, thanks, sis," I mumbled.

"You have such a soft heart. Rachel Adams could use a heart like that," she admitted.

My head jerked up from my book and I gazed at her with wide eyes.

"You," I begun, but I was interrupted by a grumpy voice behind us.

"You should be so glad that she isn't here and didn't here that or you would've been...dead."

We glanced behind our shoulders and found Madelaine glaring at us with a grumpy expression. I couldn't help to frown upon her exhausted state and the pores under her eyes.

"You look like a zombie," I blurted out.

"Hey! That's my girlfriend you're talking about!" Skylar exclaims, hitting me with a pillow.

"Sorry. I was just trying to lighten up your mood a little," I mumbled, grinning at Madelaine.

"It's okay. I just need...sleep," she yawned before dropping herself on the couch. She looked like a child when she curls herself into a ball, nestling against Skylar's chest.

A soft smile broke across Skylar's face while she placed a firm kiss on her scalp before gently stroking her head, occasionally running her fingers through her sunshine blonde hair.

"Is she okay?" I asked, slightest of worried when her eyes remained closed.

"Let's just say we have another sad puppy worried about Rachel," Skylar replied as she lifted her gaze to meet mine.

"A beautiful sad puppy," she added, smiling.

Hearing this, Madelaine's cheeks turned pink as she giggles with her eyes closed. I couldn't resist pressing out a smile of my own.

"You think I look bad. You should see Will. He's a mess," Madelaine mumbled before sighing softly.

Hearing Will's name, my mind automatically wondered back to the scene in the hospital three days ago. He hugged her and she slapped him. I wondered what happened between them, which leaded to Rachel breaking up with him. She really hates the three of them, but Why? Was what they did to her so crucial?

"At least she didn't punch him this time," I mumbled through a sigh.

"Maybe I should go check on him," I said, closing my book.

"No, don't bother. When Will's in a bad mood, he doesn't talk to anyone. He's probably in the gym throwing basketballs into the net. What he always does when he needs to be alone," Madelaine informed, yawning once more before slowly dozing off to blissful oblivion.

I sighed and stood up with my books in my hand. Skylar and I exchanged a one last smile before I left the couple alone and head to science class.

~

That evening, I decide to stop by my dorm before I headed to the dining hall for dinner. Just when I opened the door and step inside, I crashed into another body. Before I could react, I was lying on top of a skinny body.

Slowly lifitng my head up and raising my body on my elbows to lift my weight off of her, I met a pair of hazel eyes. Greenish with a little brown in the center. And of course, the small fracture in them. Even though her face was covered with her dark apple red hair, I smiled in realization. Gently brushing her hair off her face, I grinned at her.

"Oh sorry, you okay?" I asked, breathing down on her face.

"Well, looking at a guy who probably weighs twice as much as me is lying on top of me, I'm fine, perfect, super, life is great," she replied with a sarcastic smile. But it was still a smile.

"Really?" A flutter of hope flourished within me.

"Nope," she replied, flatly.

I frowned like a puppy, leading Rachel to roll her eyes.

"Now get off me before I," she began.

"Punch me?" I looked at her, knowingly.

"You know me so well. Now. Off!" She almost whines.

I sighed and climbed to my feet, but my smile fades when I noticed Rachel was sitting on the floor and rubbing her bandaged wrists, briefly cringing of pain.

Panicked I fell on my kness before her in a quick movement. "Shit! A-re you okay? Did I hurt you?!"

Rachel's briefly pained expression fades and a puzzled one took its place.

"Woah, relax shithead. I'm fine," She assured, eyebrows furrowed.

I ignored her and carefully took her fragile hands in mine. The drawings were gone, leaving the ghostly pale skin to come clearly to sight. I moved my gaze up to her wrists, which were bandaged. I tried to ignore the flashback of her deeply cut skin and the blood rushing out in a hurried manner. I didn't know why, but I felt like if I gave her hands the lightest of a squeeze, they would break like fragile glass.

"What've you done? Poor little hands,"I mumbled, more to myself.

When I lifted my gaze up to meet hers, I found Rachel staring at me with a blunt expression.

"I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean to hurt you," I said, genuinely guilty.

Rachel raised her eyebrows before letting out a ragged sigh. "Wow. You are the most softhearted emotional shithead I've ever met."

"You know a lot of shitheads?" I asked, rubbing my thumbs gently over her bandaged wrists.

"Only one," she stated.

We exchange a sly grin before I without thinking twice, intertwined my fingers delicately with hers and helped her up on her feet. For some reason, her grip felt reassuring and made me feel a little braver. But it was supposed to be the opposite, right?

"How'd you get in?" I questioned, scratching the back of my head.

"Aunt Bella gave me a key," she replies.

"She what?!" I stared at her in complete shock.

"I got a key to your room," she repeated, plopping down in my bed.

"Wait, so you can come in here whenever you want? Without my permission?" I asked, my jaw dropped.

"Yes. Why? You got porn magazines hidden here?" She rolled over in my bed and poked her head under my bed to take a peek.

"Ew. You're disgusting Rachel...Adams," I told her, folding my arms across my chest.

"You're the one who owns them. That makes you the most disgusting one," she snapped, grabbing a pen from the night table and starting with her art.

However, before the blue ink came in contact with her skin, I snatched it out of her hand and put it in the pocket of my grey hoodie.

"I'm guessing you're here to study, not in art class," I said, strictly.

"I'm here for the pen as always and by the way, no, I was joking. I don't have any key to your room. The door was unlocked. I hate this place anyway," she muttered.

It was fascinating how fast her moody personality became moodier within just a few seconds. It was like a transformation to something worse.

"Well, my deepest apolgies for not decorating it like a castle you could wear your sea shell bra in and twirl your wand till you transform yourself into Cinderella," I mumbled, grabbing a few books from my study table.

I expected her to throw some rude comment at me, but I was highly surprised when a short laugh cut through my hears. I snapped my gaze in her direction to find her still chuckling lightly while sighing.

"You are so pathetic," she admitted through her oddly cute chuckle.

"No, I'm the winner, remember?" I teased, grinning.

While Rachel rolled her eyes, my gaze stopped on the clock and I realized it had been 15 minutes since dinner started.

"Let's go eat dinner first. We can study afterwards," I said after dropping the books on the bed.

Instead of replying, Rachel didn't move from the bed and continued to sit with her legs crossed and absentmindedly peeled off her black nail polish.

"Aren't you going to eat dinner?" I questioned.

"I'm not hungry," she murmured without looking up from her nails.

It is then I realized I had never seen Rachel show up for breakfast, lunch or dinner. Is this was her depression's doing too?

"Pizza is the only thing I want to eat right now and this shitty place sadly doesn't serve pizza," she added.

"Well, pizza does sound good," I admitted.

When Rachel didn't seem to budge, I sighed and headed towards the door.

"Sound?" She suddenly seemed interested or more like curious.

"Wait. You've never eaten pizza before?" She asked with her eyebrows raised.

I smiled sheepishly. "Just once at a birthday party when I was seven."

Rachel's jaw dropped and she did nothing else but to silently stare at me for the next minute.

All of a sudden, she stood up, grabbed my arm and sprints out of my dorm, dragging me with her.

"Rachel....where are we going?" I questioned as we run upstairs to the fourth floor where the girls' dorms were located.

When she didn't reply, I sighed and instead ran faster with her towards what turned out to be her dorm. I only had two memories here between these light pink walls. This was where Rachel opened up. Not as much as she did as the hospital, but enough for me to understand that something within her is broken. This was also were she tried to kill herself and almost succeeded.

As soon we entered, she shut the door, grabbed a blue coat in contrast with her white jeans and grabbed some cash from a drawer.

And then she glanced at me with a thrilled expression. "Let's go."

"Where?" I asked, clearly confused.

"To eat pizza," she replied.

"But you just said they don't serve," I stopped myself in realization.

"Not here, idiot. I meant downtown at a pizza shop," she informed, confirming what I assumed.

"You mean sneak out?" I asked, unbelievably.

"Glad you're finally catching up," she said as if I was a dumb kid not understandng a thing about what was happening here.

Apparently I wasn't, because why in the world would she take me out to eat pizza? Didn't she hate me? Or did I missed out on something?

"That's against the rules. There's no way I'm doing that," I protested, firmly.

She grinned. A genuine grin. "Oh Elliot Waters, haven't you ever heard of the saying "rules are made to be broken"?"

"Yeah, but," I began.

"Stop being such a good boy and let's go." She opened the window, the cold breeze rushing inside.

"The window!" I exclaimed. I was so close to believing that this was a dream.

"We're at the forth floor. Do you want us dead?" I asked, my hand on my pounding heart.

"I would die any day," she pauses.

I feel my heart sting, my stomach twisting. How could she just casually think and say that? Suicidal thoughts, huh?

"But don't worry, I know you like it here so I'll make sure you only break an arm or something," she assured.

"Ouch?" I almost asked.

She cracked a short laugh before crawling out. I couldn't help but smile. God, why was her laugh so contagious?

I didn't want pizza. I just wanted her to eat and continue to smile and laugh. And for that, I did the last thing I expected myself to do. I followed her.

************
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