Goodbye, Judas

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What happens next is a blur.

I remember a bunch of EMTs gathering around me, then I fade back into black. One of them pry's my eye open shining a light in my eye. They let my eyes close, and I fade back into the abyss.

Later I come back to the world and they're lifting me up onto a gournie. They begin to push me out and I turn my head to see three EMTs surrounding Delilah's body.

I say her name, reaching for her, but she gets blurrier and blurrier as I get wheeled away.

They wheel me past the students who are gathered near the front billboard of the school. A drove of police cars and ambulances are parked along the street of the school and I can see police officers and EMTs tending to all of the students.

Everyone I helped escape is watching me as I go past them. Even Daniel stares, flabbergasted, as they pull up to the back of an ambulance, open the back door, and lift me into it.

I can't fight it anymore, so I give in, passing out in the ambulance.


I have three right broken phalanges, a fractured right radius in my forearm, a hole in my left wrist, a bunch of cuts on my body that needed stitches, third-degree burns along my back, a bullet wound that didn't hit anything vital, and a sprained left ankle.

I ask the doctor giving my stitches about Delilah and they say she's being prepped for surgery. There's still a chance that she can get through this.

I'm surprised I'm not being cuffed to my bed after what I did. After all, I'm a murderer.

My mom enters the room, tears falling down her face. Even though she gives me a soft hug, it still hurts. She asks me a million questions but I don't answer any of them. All I can think about is Delilah.

Squid enters the room shortly after.

"How you holdin' up?" They ask.

"I—I'm not. I'm not holding up," I say.

"Well, I'm done here," The doctor says, cutting the stitch line on my left wrist. I didn't even notice the pain of her giving me the stitches. I guess it's nothing compared to everything else I've been through today.

The doctor then leaves the room. Squid then turns to my mother.

"Can you give us the room?" Squid asks her.

"I'll be right outside," My Mom tells me, leaving the room.

The room is silent. Tense.

"Look, Judas—" Squid starts.

"I'm probably going to go to prison. Because of what I did. It's only a matter of time before they find out."

"That's the thing Judas—there were two witnesses. Nick and I. And as far as we're concerned—we saw Lucy take her life that day after she saw what she did to Delilah."

I look up at Squid, stunned.

"Look, Judas, we both know you don't deserve to go to prison," They say, "And we couldn't bear to see you go to prison for something like this. 

"Which one of you?"

"What?"

"Who's idea was it to cover it up?"

"It was Nicks. You can understand, seeing that one of his practical children killed his adopted child. He didn't want that getting out to the public."

I lean back into my bed, my back protesting in agony. I killed someone. And Squid and Nick are covering me for that decision. That permanent decision.

"Your mom doesn't know," Squid continues, "It's just me and Nick that do."

I don't know what else to say. What else to ask.

"You're not mad at me, are you?" They ask.

"No. No, I'm not mad," I examine the navy blue cast on my right arm. It was the only color they had, "I just need a minute."

I turn on my left shoulder, facing away from Squid.

"Okay—well... if you need me. I'm here," Squid says.

When Squid leaves the room, I close my eyes and start to pray.

"God. If you won't save her, please just take her to a place better than this."


I wake up from the nap I fell into and get out of my bed. There's no one in the halls as I notice a single door that's open two rooms down with a pure blue light emanating from it. I approach it and stand in the doorway, wondering who's inside.

A neon blue-haired woman sits up straight in her bed, facing an open window in her window. She turns to face me and it's her. It's Delilah. We don't exchange words. I walk toward her until I'm at the side of the bed. Her ocean-green eyes meet mine and she starts to laugh. I can't help but join in, and we're laughing together. She then lifts the blanket off her legs and gets out of the left side of her bed toward the open window. I continue laughing as she takes a step onto the window sill.

She's standing on the window sill with her bare feet now. And I'm just watching. Why am I just watching?

She then leans forward, descending out of the window.


I jolt awake, choking on my own spit. Delilah. I had to check on Delilah. There's no one in my room so I rip my IVs out and jump out of bed, limping for the hallway. Once I open the door, I look around and see Squid and my mom talking to a man in blue scrubs and a face mask a few feet to my left. I can't hear them. But when my mother covers her mouth and Squid starts to cry, I know what the man just told them.

Squid turns around and sees me. I make a one-eighty and start skipping down the hallway.

"Judas wait!" Squid calls out. But I don't stop. I just go faster and faster heading for the elevator.

I push a nurse down as I enter the elevator and mash the close door button. Squid rounds the corner, sprinting for the door as it closes in their face.

I press the basement button, where they keep the morgue, and wait as I descend four floors. Once the door opens, Squid is standing there, sweaty, panting, and waiting for me.

Their grey eyes plead with mine and I just stand in the elevator; empty. Hopeless.

Squid embraces me then, their arms so tight around me it hurts.

"I'm so sorry," they say.

I grab them back, bellowing into their shoulder, my knees giving out. But Squid doesn't let me go. They don't let me go for the rest of the night. 

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