*sigh*

Dear Diary,

I just want to cry. My whole body is numb with hurt. I feel broken and depressed. I don't want to get up or move.

My morning started out with my best friend sobbing. I couldn't get her to talk to me, so the administrator of votech, my morning class which is 'sponsored' by a college, pulled her out of class so that she could calm down.

I cheered myself up by being my obnoxious self. I talked and talked to my teacher about my old school that she actually used to teach at. It really brought up some good memories for me. I used to be a thug bro. I used to take empty Sunny-D bottles and pretend to smoke with the wrapper and drink alcohol from the empty plastic Sunny-D bottle. I used to ask my mom to put makeup on me so I could show off my 'black eye.' Did I mention that the school was called Calvary Christian School? Yeah, I got in trouble A LOT.

My best friend came back to class and I gave her a tight hug. She still didn't tell me what was wrong. I told her to text me anytime.

First period ended.

Second period began.

The only eventful thing that happened is that I wanted to actually talk on two of the topics that my government teacher brought up, but he had this weird spinner thing that didn't pick my number so I couldn't say anything.

Then, I picked my finger to the point it wouldn't stop bleeding. There was blood all over my fingers. I just dealt with it and let it dry.

Second period ended.

Third period began.

Third period is usually my favorite, but today Zack, one of the five dudes in there said shit to me.

There's six students total in the class and I'm the only 'girl' in there.

I was talking to Issac. He was upset that he mad low on this army test thing.

Me (talking to Issac): "Do you plan on joining in the army?"

Zack: "God, you make me gag! 'Do you plan on joining in the army?'"

Me: "Everything you said makes me gag so shut the hell up, Zack."

Zack: "That's not even a good comeback."

Me (talking to Mr. Cook): "I'm sorry I had a really bad day and he started it."

Zack: "I would be having a bad day too if I looked like you."

I ignored him after that. This wasn't the whole conversation, but I got too upset to remember everything.

I was furious at Zach until I realized no one liked him and he can suck my toes if he thinks I care about a damned thing he said.

I struggled with thinking about my Bpop after that. I even silently cried in class. You see, I texted G to let her know I was there for her and it really reminded me of my time with Bpop.

Third period ended.

Skip band.

Each class is like 2 hours, so we only have 4 classes each day.

After school....

There's a survey sent by he councilors that we had to take because we're seniors. One question on there is 'who's your celebrity crust?' I put Grant Gustin and told my boyfriend's friends to put Grant Gustin too. One of his friends started to joke around and said that Grant Gustin is hot and I agreed.

Well, Levi got insanely mad and told me to shut up.

I asked him if I said something wrong and he said yes.

I apologized right then and there.

We walked in silence to my car. He eventually talked to me and was super mad.

I cried and screamed all the way home. I think I'm losing my sanity not going to lie. I never scream when I'm upset so I think Levi has broken me mentally and that's why I can't leave him.

We called. We talked through the problem and now we're okay.

I researched this crap because I was pretty upset. I came to a point that I was like....

Brain cell #1: He doesn't like this, so let's stop.

Brain cell #2: Yeah! Then, he'll be happy with us and we can avoid this problem in the future.

Brain Cell #1: Calling other people hot as a joke is a no no.

Brain Cell #2: YeP! That's a no no.

Brain Cell #1: Also let's trash Grant Gustin from our memory!

Brain Cell #2: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! I REALLY LIKE HIM AS AN ACTOR!

Brain Cell #1: Get over it you slut.

Yep, these are my brain cells. I only have two.

Confession time: I've never thought of Grant Gustin as a romantic partner. I just generally like him because he's a great actor and he does look pretty good.

I wouldn't trade him for Levi though...

1. Bc I really love Levi.

2. Bc I don't like Grant Gustin like that.

3. Grant be hitched.

4. I would feel so ugly around Grant.

K that's all from me. Hope you had a better Monday than me!

~ Wordsperminute