When I was younger, and my mother used to take me to the park, sometimes she’d spin me on the merry-go-round. The old metal would squawk as she pushed and pushed, building enough momentum until she could hop on to enjoy the ride with me. The forceful whirl would cause my tummy to clench in fear of being flung off. It was thrilling, yet also a blast. 

This moment with my father feels as out of control as that merry-go-round. Except, the fear pulsing in my neck isn’t from excitement. Instead, the anxiety has me reaching for the door handle if I need to tuck and roll from a moving vehicle.

I glance in the side mirror and spot the rental car Moses and Julian are in. The turn was so abrupt that Moses is having difficulty maneuvering around the vehicles in front of them. 

They can’t lose me.

“Where are we going?” I ask.

“The Conservatory of Flowers. Your mom and I used to go there in high school.” He flashes me a smile. “We’d wander around and make out.”

“Gross.”

“Nah, it was great,” he says with a chuckle, and there is genuine happiness in his expression.

It makes my heart ache and bleaches the fear as I massage the flesh of my chest where a pulse knocks. I miss my dad. I miss how things used to be before life took a battering ram and blasted open the door on his dark secrets. Tears amass in my eyes, so I focus on anything else, like the trees swaying in the autumn breeze. 

My dad finds a parking spot on the street, and in the side mirror, the rental car eases into a space half a block down. We exit and head for the Conservatory on foot. The day is beautiful despite everything, as the sun filters through the trees and the rustling leaves percussion against the wind. It’s a soothing susurrus as we climb the cement steps leading us to the main event like a red carpet. 

Once inside the massive white greenhouse, I’m strangled by the humidity allowing the tropical plants to thrive. There aren’t many people around, but the ones that are, fan themselves while gazing at gigantic stems of Climbing Oleander and Bottlebrush Orchids.

For a while, we browse the garden and take turns reading the descriptions on the bronze plaques in front of the different plants. However, it feels like my dad and I are in a wild-west duel, standing on opposite ends, waiting for the other person to pull the trigger. The dust swirling between us as we glare with hands palpating our weapons are my dads secrets, and the fact I know he’s a damn liar.

We move onto the ponds where lilies float on the surface of the turbid green water, and that’s when I pull the trigger.

“How come you never got remarried after mom died?” I ask nonchalantly while taking photos of the pond with my phone.

“Just didn’t have the heart to, I guess.”

“What about now?” I snap another photo. His lie is strike number two.

“No, I think dating crazy women has me too scared to remarry,” he chuckles. “I sure dodged a bullet with Miranda.”

Now that pisses me off. It’s strike number three. So, I stuff my phone into my pocket and face him. 

“Did you, though?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He crooks his brows.

“You’re still seeing her.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Dad…” I inhale and grip the railing enclosing the pond. “I saw you. She was there at the cabin with you.”

“What do you mean?” He draws his head back.

“I drove up to Redding on Wednesday and spent the night.” I look at him, and there’s panic in his eyes as they study mine. “The next day, I saw Little Miss Redhead through your window, and the two of you seemed awfully cozy.” 

“You were spying on me!?” He pivots away and runs a hand through his hair. “Jesus Christ.” 

“You just lied to my face about seeing her, and you’re the one upset?” I scoff.

“Yeah, I am, Valerie.” He snaps his attention back to me. “You have no business spying on me!”

“Oh, I have every business spying on you. Especially after what I found in the storage shed.”

“Storage shed…” He steps back, his ankles unsteady as he reaches for the railing.

“Yeah. What a surprise it was to see our old furniture and family photos intact. You know, the ones you told me burned in the fire.”

“I… I can explain all of that.”

“No. I don’t want more lies.” I raise my chin and stare him down, despite him towering over me. “You haven’t even asked why I spent the night somewhere else instead of at the cabin on Wednesday.”

“Ok, Valerie, where did you spend the night?”

“In Eureka,” I say with a bit of a taunt, and the color evaporates from my dad's face because he now knows that I know. “When were you going to tell me about Linda De Marco? Although, I really shouldn’t be surprised considering you lied about Miranda, as well as my existence.”

“It’s not what you think…”

“Oh, I believe it’s exactly what I think. I saw you playing the family man on Wednesday evening.”

“Val—”

“I saw the gold wedding band on your finger.”

“Baby girl—” 

“I even saw those three little kids!” I hold up my hand, shutting him down, but despite my resolve, my voice cracks. “Linda didn’t know who I was.”

“You talked to her?” He swallows hard, causing his Adam’s Apple to bob. 

“Yeah, I did, and lucky for you, she didn’t believe I’m your daughter. In fact, she accused me of being your mistress.” I wipe the rebellious tear rolling down my cheek.

“I can explain all of this. Linda is an old friend—”

“Bullshit!”

“We got married so her kids could be on my health insurance plan. I’m doing it as a favor.”

“Bullshit!”

“How did you even find her?”

“How did I find her?” My brows fly to my hairline, and then I shout, “How about why do you have a secret family? Why does your wife call you Alexander!”

The reprimand echoes across the open space, and a few people turn our way. But I don’t care. I keep going.

“You’re a liar. I can’t believe a word you say. You’re probably not even my real father!” 

“I am your father.”

“Right. Then who the fuck is Alexander De Marco?”

With that, my dad snatches me into an embrace, his breath hot in my ear. “Valerie, that’s enough!”

“Let go of me!” I scream, but instead, he holds on tighter, even though people are peering in our direction. “You’re a liar, a fraud, and I bet you kidnapped me!”

“That’s enough!” he barks and lifts me off the ground as he escorts us out of the building. 

However, I’m like a toddler as I kick and scream. By the time we make it outside, I’ve managed to slither out of his embrace and flop to the ground. He attempts to scoop me up, but I keep whacking and shoving his hands away. We’re making quite the spectacle, and people are gawking, but neither of us cares.

“Stop acting like a child, Valerie!”

“I’m not your child!”

“Stop saying that.” He grabs my shoulders and drags me to my feet with all his might.

“Ouch!” 

“You’re out of control,” he barks, his fingers digging deeper into my shoulders as he gives me a shake.

“Because you’re a liar. I’m Valentina Moreno. Not Valerie Rossi,” I roar in his face, and his eyes are searching mine with an expression I’m not sure I can read. Is it fear creating creases across his brow? Perhaps it’s shame. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

“Valerie, you are my daughter.”

“Lies!” I shove his chest with my forearms, and a sob escapes from my mouth. 

Every part of me trembles as my rancor is replaced with heartbreak rolling down my cheeks. How can someone I love so much look me in the eyes and continuously lie? Tears collect in his, and I can no longer decipher the truth in them. Yet the ache of seeing it still cracks through my chest like thunder.

“I am your father. You are my daughter,” he lies again, and I almost believe the bead of moisture making its way down his cheek.

“How can you say that with a straight face after revealing what I know about Miranda and Linda?” I shake my head in disgust. “And why do you have all those news articles in the storage shed? Why were you there when Valentina went missing?”

“I wasn’t!”

“But I saw you.”

“What do you mean?” He releases my shoulders and steps back.

“I saw an old surveillance video of you and mom in a gift shop at Yosemite with the Moreno family just a few feet away. That’s when you spotted me, wasn’t it?”

“No.” He shakes his head.

“That whole story about you and mom getting pregnant with me as teenagers is a lie.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Enough,” I stomp my foot with a growl. “I just want the truth!”

A beep pulls his attention towards his watch, so he glances at it and smudges away the tears staining his cheeks. “I gotta go.”

“What?” I gasp.

“I have somewhere I need to be. I’m sorry.”

“No!” I latch onto his arm. “We’re not done here.”

“Valerie…” He pulls himself free. “I have to go.”

“Dad, stop!” I grab him again, but he yanks his arm away and steps back. 

“I have to go.” 

“That’s it?” I say with a furious cry. “You’re leaving me after all of this?” 

“I’m sorry,” he sniffs and wipes another tear. “I love you, Valerie. I’ve always loved you. You’re my little girl.”

Then he turns and sprints away, and I’m too frozen to move. I don’t even notice Julian and Moses rushing up the cement steps towards me. The wind rustling furiously through the trees is too loud in my ears to hear them. It isn’t until Moses caresses my cheek that I remember where I’m standing.

“You ok?”

“No.” I look at him. 

“What do you want to do, Val?” Julian asks, and I glance back in the direction my father fled.

“I want to go after him.” I curl my fists. “He doesn’t get to walk away with his lies.”

“You sure?” Moses sweeps aside the hair falling into my tear-filled eyes. 

“Absolutely. Let’s follow him.”