I knew the second Snow walked in the door that tonight would bring about my demise. I had been here alone with my thoughts all day, wondering what Snow was doing at any given moment, and now that he was standing in the doorway it was plain to see that he had been fighting goblins (again).

His hair was a tangled mess full of twigs, his wings had ripped holes in the back of his (my) shirt, but I didn't see any of that right this second. What I saw first was the flush in his cheeks (that he hates for me to point out but it reminds me that he has what I don't (blood)). I saw his chest rise and fall rapidly with his heavy breathing (oh what that does to my thoughts). I saw those golden eyes fixed intently on me as we had a stand off in the middle of the kitchen.

We're never sure how we stand when we've been separated for a while. Will I be too thirsty to have a decent conversation? Tonight, yes, but we'll get to that later. Will he be in a sour mood from whatever world shattering crisis he has going on? (because there's always something) Tonight, no, thank Cerce. Apparently the goblins weren't a big enough crisis to bother me with.

His eyes soften as he gives in, letting me know that he's on solid ground and waiting to see if I'm going to be decent tonight or not. I haven't decided one way or another yet. If we're being honest, I would like to be quite indecent to this man, but he always has to make the first move. And tonight I don't know if being in close proximity to him would be a good idea. Its been too long since my last hunt and already my brain is going places I try to keep it from going.

As if reading my thoughts, he mumbles under his breath, "if you need to hunt, I'll come too."

I had already decided we were not doing that. Snow was clearly exhausted, he didn't need to get out again tonight, and yet he insisted on always coming with me. I'd just have to deal with the discomfort until he'd had a good night's sleep.

"No, I'm not thirsty." It was a lie, I'm always thirsty. Snow raises an eyebrow and I add, "enough. I'm not thirsty enough to drag us out there tonight."

He nods and makes his way across the kitchen to me, apparently deciding I was sane enough to be approached. Correction, sane enough to be hugged. I hold my breath, because I would never tell him no, but I can't stand the smell of him right now. It's not the goblin grime he's covered in. I hardly notice that through the sickly sweet smell of his you-know-what. We're not thinking about that right now. Not thinking about him pinned to the wall, head tilted back, fangs in his throat-

He gasps for air and I'm snapped back to reality. I find myself frozen in place, fangs inches from his neck. I can practically feel his pulse in my mouth, I'm so close I can taste it. But I.. I can't. Not Snow. It would change everything, our whole dynamic. Not to mention traumatized him. And me. And what if I couldn't stop?

He's looking at me through heavy lashes, breath coming in ragged gasps, and he doesn't look traumatized yet. In fact he looks-

"Please," he whimpers so low I wouldn't have heard it if not for my super hearing. Fuck, he's getting off on this.

How many times have I fantasized about this? And now here he is begging me to take it, and I'm unable to. "I would never forgive myself."

I hadn't realized I'd said it out loud until he answered, "you won't have to, I'm giving it freely."

I'm sure there are a million other reasons why this is a bad idea, but right now the only thing my brain will think is 'he wants it, you want it, what's the hold up here?' Actually my brain is probably just thinking 'BLOOD'. I am past any semblance of decency. If we're not doing this, it's entirely up to Snow to back out, and he doesn't look like he's doing that any time soon.

In fact he's got his hands on the back of my head and is pulling me in closer. My face is pressed into the crook of his neck now and I can't help but breathe in that spicy, sweet, intoxicating smell. Oh fuck it, Snow, I can't do this. Please don't regret this tomorrow, don't let this be a mistake.

I take a bite.