James

The last thing James saw was the EMTs rushing into the school. When they put him on a stretcher, the sudden change in position allowed his pain to climax once more, this time causing him to pass out. He faded away from the pain and the smell of blood was replaced with that of the woodland and for the second time that day, he passed into dream.

James opened his eyes. He was sitting in the window sill, a book in his lap. It was a lazy summer day, the house quiet less for the sound of the birds chirping merrily outside. Then resonating from the trees was this sound, a single note, soft, and pure. It was just loud enough to reach his ears, like a whisper in the wind. So ensnared was he by the sound that James perked up and strained his ears. And there it was again, rhythmic and mysterious. James rushed outside. It was definitely coming from the forest. The sun wrapped the world in a lime green glow, its rays cutting through the thin membrane of the leaves. He followed the sound of the music, his steps taking him deeper into the woods. The sound grew louder and louder until James reached a clearing, the music suddenly stopped. A girl stood in the middle of it, she had dark, deep blue eyes and long brown hair that cascaded across the violin held to her chin. They stood still and stared, both equally surprised by the presence of each other. James took a step forward and offered a hand.

"Um... hi, my name's James,¨ James said, his voice trailing off awkwardly. The girl neither offered her name or a hand to shake. They stood silent for a moment.

"What are you doing here?" she asked sharply. James took a step back, taken aback by the sudden hostility. The girl quickly tried again, this time her tone softer.

"I meant, um... what brings you out here... James...?" she said, the words sounding unnatural on her lips.

"I just heard the music. I wondered where it came from because I didn't know I had neighbors," James said in a rush, it was hard to concentrate; she was very pretty and seemed about his age.

"Well, that's because we just moved in. I'm Rain, nice to meet you," she said, gaining confidence and thrusting a hand out. James shook it.

Why are my palms so sweaty? James thought ruefully as he shook her hand. But then her face faded away, the forest becoming distant. And suddenly, he was awake. It all came back to him in a rush, the fight, Leif snapping Derek's neck, Rain... She was dead.

This would be a lot easier if my subconscious would stop bringing up memories, James thought, angry with his own head.

He woke slowly and the dull ache of his injuries immediately made him wish he was sleeping again. His dad looked up from a newspaper, and leaned forward.

"How you feeling, James?¨ his dad inquired over his thick glasses, a concerned frown furrowed into his beard. James regarded his surroundings and squinted in the florescent light of the hospital. His dad waited patiently as James came to. With a grimace, James pulled himself into a sitting position and answered the question.

"Ugh, not that great, dad,¨ James answered a little more condescendingly than he intended. His voice also sounded pretty nasally and James found it hard to breath out of his nose.

"So what happened? All anyone would tell me was that they found you and that other Derek kid were found bloody on the floor," His dad said in a rush, failing to mask the urgency for information in his voice. James who had given up on breathing through his nose spoke through intervals of breathing through his mouth.

"Well, we were fighting," James trailed off at his dad's suddenly stern expression. There was an awkward moment of silence. James decided to break it before his dad did.

"But he attacked me, it wasn't my fault," James said uncertainly. His dad paused and looked down at his feet. Noticing his watch, James's father leaped to his feet.

¨I'm sorry James, I've got a meeting at work I have to go to... I'll be back later?¨ he said already on his way out the door. James response caught in his throat as he realized his father was already gone. James slumped back into the bed. He turned his head to the side and looked at Derek, who was in the cot next to him.

He expected to feel angry but the rage would not come. He couldn't help but feel sorry for him. He's just another scared kid, James thought, staring into his face. He wants to feel accepted and he feels like he has to prove himself by beating me up, he mulled this thought in his head.

The world doesn't make sense, James thought ruefully. It wasn't Derek's fault that he was terrified, it wasn't Rains fault that she was depressed, it wasn't Leif's fault that he cared about a friend, and it wasn't His dad's fault that he was never around. Yet they all had brought him so much pain anyways.

Hell of a world to live in, James thought, a dark expression crossing his face.

As it turned out, Derek did break a couple of his ribs, and his nose was broken at an awkward angle. He was put in a back brace that held his body at an uncomfortably rigid angle. After a couple of days in the hospital, the swelling around his eyes receded to reveal set of scars in the swelling's place. The whiteness of them seemed to glow in the brightness of the room, like slashes of light across James's shadowy complexion. Derek was worse off, he was going to be put on crutches. The damage his pen had inflicted was serious, it would be awhile before he walked again. And to Derek's great discomfort and shame, he was put in a neck brace that forced him to stare at the same spot of the ceiling all day. James never attempted to engage Derek in conversation, and Derek did likewise. Despite this however, James was more than aware of his presence. This mutual silence was probably the most awkward thing James had ever faced. Derek's parents came to visit him everyday.

The sight of their affection made the emptiness of the visiting chair next to James cot more pronounced. His dad didn't stop by again since the first day, a fact the chair would remind him of every time he glanced at it. James realized that his phone was gone when he tried to contact his dad through it. Where it was he could not say, but the absence of the object made him feel so distant from the outside world. When Derek's parents came and asked Derek about James, he denied that he knew him, saying he'd never seen him before. Why Derek chose to lie about this James did not know, but he was grateful nonetheless. If the absence of conversation with Derek was awkward, then James couldn't even begin to imagine the enormity of unpleasantness a conversation with his parents would be. And through it all, James couldn't help but think about Rain.

The only distraction he had from thinking about her was when the waves of physical pain would kick in. He was supposed to tell the nurses when it hurt so they could give him something for it. Yet James found himself enduring it instead, because in the end he surmised, it didn't hurt as much as what would ensue when it was gone. In the times when it subsided on its own, James found he actually missed the pain. For Rain would would consume him in his absence. Finally, after about four days of hell, James was released from the hospital. His dad walked in to pick him up and James felt anger surge back into him.

Where the hell have you been, huh? James thought bitterly.