He gives a kick with his foot and closes the door behind him.

"Hello, Dorian," I say with a silly smile while I'm still in his arms.

He holds me tight with his hands wrapped around my thighs.

"I will give you my greetings in a different way," he says in a voluptuous voice and winks at me.

I think about it for a while as he carries me in his arms into the bedroom. It's the first time I've thought about whether I'm going to let him make love to me or not. I've just missed him so much lately... he's here with me again. He came back to me.

That means he still wants me, right?

Otherwise, why did he come?

He kindly leaves me by his arms on the bed. I lean on my elbows and stare at him. He slowly takes off his shirt and throws it on the floor. I smile obliquely.

He turns his head right and left while resting his neck. He takes the pack of cigarettes out of his jeans pocket and lights one. He pulls a deep puff and lets the smoke through his mouth come out slowly, making rings. I swallow dryly and grow my smile.

"Do you feel?" he asks me while smoking.

I remember when he first asked me whether I felt. My mind goes back to that moment, and all I did was feel. As if not a day had passed since then.

"I feel it, Dorian," I murmur confidently, but this time I will not be silent anymore. "Do you?" I ask with courage, waiting to hear an answer.

I've seen his tender moment, but I've also seen the cruel one.

When exactly was he tender with you? My inner voice pops up with an air of irony.

It doesn't matter. I chose to live all this with him, and that's what I'm doing.

Dorian stands with a comfortable expression and continues to smoke. He puts out the cigarette in the ashtray and approaches me with an oblique smile. He lifts my dress and takes it off.

I don't like that he didn't answer what I asked him. I know he's not very into talking, but sometimes you need to hear from your boyfriend how he feels, don't you?

He grabs my thong with both hands and tears it. I was not so much surprised by his movement as by the sound of the textile being torn.

Silly, isn't it?

Some things become one with your being, and you are not impressed when your boyfriend does them to you. You just get used to his behavior, and you get acquainted.

He takes my bra off and throws it next to me somewhere down. He approaches me resolutely when my two palms find his breast, and I stop him.

"Do you love me, Dorian?" I ask in a serious tone, and I desperately want his answer.

Whatever he has to say, I don't care. It's enough for me to have a word out of his mouth.

"These questions make a woman look dumb and weak. Why should we say words when actions can answer on their own?" he says in a hoarse voice, grasping the wrists of my hands and plucking them from his breast.

He begins an attack of wet kisses on my neck and breasts by slowly descending to the bottom.

So, I was dumb and weak to ask him. He said the actions answer on their own. So that means he loves me as long as he's here with me, doesn't he?

Or he just said it because he wants to have sex and that kind of question is boring him now, my inner voice says, and I hate myself that it manages to make me agree to it.

Dorian, how much I missed you... for how many things I turned a blind eye to...

He had told me that if I kept him, it would be forever. That means I have to endure everything he does, and I think it's wrong, right?

You've already put up with his cheating, the voice says in my head.

Yes, that's true. The question is, how much longer am I going to take it? That question negates that 'forever' thing Dorian said.

His tongue finds my entrance, and I abruptly come out of my thoughts. I sink my fingers in his hair and let him do what he wants to me again.

I feel so good about him... It's like it's winking at me ironically and telling me that nothing is a given and to be ready to give up that feeling.

I get angry at this thought and move Dorian's head away. He looks at me with half-open eyes. I turn him to the other side and make him lie down on the bed.

I breathe deeply and put his erection in my mouth. I give him a few strong thrusts, and I stop before he ejaculates in my face.

This time I grab a condom from the nightstand and put it on him. "I want you to finish inside me," I immediately solve his query before he asks me why I put a condom on him.

Reva caught my thought on why she wanted to put a condom on me this time. She's the only chick I didn't put a condom on with from the first moment.

With all the other hookers, I used to throw the condom just before I emptied it. I allow her to wear it, and I grab her by the hips while I'm ready to attack, but I'm stopped by her palms on my chest.

I let her do whatever the fuck she wants. If she had been another now, she would not have caught a breath. I'm chuckling.

She goes up and down on my penis making slow movements. I notice her chest rising and falling from her deep breaths. She tilts her head back and opens her lips a little.

She gives me another push and hides my whole penis inside her as she's sitting on me. I get a deep sigh that comes out of her throat.

Right now she's making love alone. She's trying to get as much pleasure out of me as possible as if this is our last time. I don't know why I'm feeling this way about her now, and it's troubling me.

It's fucking instinct, isn't it?

Does it ever fall out or not?

She straightens her head and looks at me. I'm automatically embarrassed by her look, and I don't fucking know why. I immediately get into action and turn her over on the bed so that now I'm on top of her.

It spoiled my mood from what I thought, and I have to try to keep my dominance over her. Mostly to myself.