It's So Hard To Be Sarcastic

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Percy POV

I'm not sure how long I lay in my bed but, it's been a while. I drag myself up and into the shower. After I get dressed and head downstairs to the kitchen. I make myself some mac and cheese. As I eat the Fates appear infront of me.

"How long has it been?" I ask before shoving more food in my mouth.

"Two days," Atropos answers. I shrug in reply.

"I thought he would stay in there longer," Clotho comments but we ignore her.

"We agree you are ready," Lachesis says.

"For?"

"To return to your home-"

"Really?"

"Yes. The Prophecy will start soon," Clotho says. "We will send you and your pegasus to your mothers apartment. You may spend tonight and tomorrow with them before returning to camp. You may tell her and your step father everyting but they may not tell anyone else. You may tell no one else of what has happened since you does. To be sure your voice will be lost as soon as you leave the apartment. Keep your secret of godhood a secret as long as possible."

"Then what am I supposed to do when they I ask where I have been?"

"Tell them that 'The Fates have forbidden me from making it known. To be sure they took my voice'. If your powers are learned to early the enemy may find out. We will return in an hour and a half," Atropos answers. With that they leave and I take a moment as everything sets in before running upstairs to pack.

•-•-•-•-•

The Fates are supposed to come in five minutes. I sling my backpack full of clothes, ambrosia and nectar over my shoulder and head down stairs. I grab an apple from the kitchen and head outside and whistle for Blackjack. He lands next to me and I give him the apple to eat.

We stand for a minute or two before the Fates appear.

"Good luck Persesus. Remeber what we have told and taught you," Clotho says.

"Thank you Lady Fates," I say with a bow. I stand up straight before I am flashed to the roof of my mom's apartment building in Manhattan. I tell Blackjack he can fly and I'll call him tomorrow and head to the apartment.

I pause before knocking on the door. I wait but get no reply. I knock again. Nothing. I don't sense any presences from inside. A flash of light and an envelope appears. I grab it. Inside is my old key. I smile and unlock the door.

Not to much has changed. I spot pictures of two kids and see toys everywhere. They must be the twins. I lock the door behind me. I drop my bag on the couch. I decide to explore. I head to what used to be my room. I open the door only to feel a bit sad to see the Twins stuff covering the room. I walk back out into the kitchen and grab a cherry coke out the fridge.

I walk back to the living room and turn on the TV and sip my soda. I'm not worried about any monsters.

•-•-•-•-•

I shoot up and sit with my hand on Riptide in pen form as I hear voices from down the hall. I must have fallen asleep. I glance at my watch 5:43 pm. Wow I slept late. The door opens and I see Paul's face and relax. He doesn't notice me at first and is talking to someone else. He looks up at me and freezes.

"Daddy? What's wrong?" A small voice asks. My mom and a little boy and girl come into the room. They both have dark brown hair and eyes just like my mom. My mom looks up and tears fill her eyes. I give her my lopsided smile.

"Miss me?" I ask. She rushes forward and grabs me in a hug.

"Percy! I missed you so much!" She let's me go and examines me at arms length. "You haven't grown..." She says suspicion clear in her voice. Paul comes up behind her and gives me a hug.

"Hey mom. Paul."

"Your Percy?" A voice asks. I see the twins watching me. I bend down to thier level.

"Yup."

"Percy meet Max and Lily," Mom says.

"How old are you two?"

"Three!" Lily shouts.

"Is Greece pretty? Mommy said it is," Max says. I open my mouth but mom cuts me off.

"Yeah I told all about how you work with your dad at his business in Greece and how nice and pretty the country is." I nod slowly thinking how my time in Greece wasn't exactly nice and or pretty.

"Yeah it's warm and nice," I say with a smile.

"Cool!" Max shouts.

"So are you going to tell us about it?" Mom asks. I glance at the twins.

"I'm here until midday tomorrow. You two are the first I've talked to. Let's make it a surprise." Mom and Paul nod understandingly.

We spend the rest of the day playing with the twins and mom bakes blue chocolate chip cookies. I tried baking them myself but their not even close to as good. Once the twins go to bed my mom can't hold her tounge anymore. We sit on the couch.

"So what aren't you telling us?" She asks eyes full of worry. I sigh.

"So.. Once I died The Fates came and took me. They left me in a room for who knows how long then they made me a god, I didn't have a say in the matter."

"What of?" Paul asks curiously.

"Swordsmanship and Loyalty. I am also their Champion." I proceed to tell them everything. The island. Being an assassin. The prophecy. The hydra and breaking me of my flaw. My voice cracks a little and wavers at that part. Finally ending at where we are now.

"Wow," Paul says with a low whistle. Mom grabs me in a hug.

"Have you told your father or Annabeth yet?"

"I can't. I'm only allowed to tell you two. After that I'm supposed to keep it all a secret. And to be sure once I leave here so does my voice. I won't be able to talk until they allow it. And Annabeth... I'm a god now... It's not allowed..." She gives me another hug.

"Don't worry. Come one it's late you can sleep here on the couch and I'll get you some blankets." I smile and say good night and she comes back with them. I flash into my pajamas before laying down falling asleep.

•-•-•-•-•

I've got two minutes left. I am saying goodbye to Mom, Paul and the twins before I go back to Camp. I smile before turning to leave.

"Wait!" My mom yells. I turn around and to see her disappear into the kitchen. She comes back out with a plastic bag. In it cookies, sugarcubes and doughnuts. I smile and give her another hug. I walk outside and up to the roof where I whistle for Blackjack. He lands next to me.

Hey Boss! Have fun? Are those doughnuts?

I open my mouth the reply but no sound comes out.

"Yeah Paul got doughnuts this morning. And I guess my voice is gone now," I say in mind taking out a doughnut. I climb on and Blackjack takes off toward Camp Demigod. I smile as we pass over the Long Island Sound. Soon I see Camp.

The strawberries. The dining pavilion. The Big House and Senate House. The arena. Colesium. New Rome. New Greece. The lava rock climbing wall. The forest. The cabins. The barracks etc. I miss it all. We fly down and I spot Chiron teaching archery. I point and Blackjack gets the message. As we come down campers look up and point. Chiron turns and looks up. Blackjack lands and hop off his back and give him a sugar cube. I hear gasps and whispers as everyone stares at me.

I ignore them and face Chiron. He looks at me shocked. I smile and wait. He comes forward.

"Percy?" He asks softly.

That's a nice mare...

"Blackjack!" I turn around scream in my head. He says nothing ans walks off in the direction of the stables. I turn back around to Chiron.

I smile and give him a duh look. He smiles and gives me a hug. When he lets go. He turns to the Campers.

"Get the seven, Stolls, Grover, Thalia, Reyna, Clarrise, Rachel, and Katie," he says. "Tell them to come to the Big House. But not why." The campers nod and run off. I follow Chiron to the Big House and we go inside and wait. I stand near the pingpong table. A few minutes later everyone arrives talking quickly.

"Chiron what is it?" Annabeth asks. He doesn't answer and motions to me. When they see me, their reactions are hilarious. Leo sees me first and his hair sets on fire. Thalia and Jason both electrocute me. Piper, Katie and Hazel scream. Hazel bringing up a few gems with her. Frank turns into a mouse. Rachel hits me in the head with a blue hairbrush. Nico causes the room to darken and get colder but no one seems to notice. Clarrise and Reyna seem to be deciding how to gut me. Grover gives a scared bleat and his fake hooves fall off. The Stolls just stand there mouths open and Annabeth is last. Wise girl. I smile big.

She walks closer tears in her eyes. She looks me in the eyes and I open my arms for a hug. But instead she judo flips me. Deja Vu.

"You said you would never do that again!" She yells. I smile not able to say anything. She let's me up and gives me a hug. I hear a few 'Awws' and roll my eyes. Annabeth let's go and leans in to kiss me but I turn and sit at my seat at the table. She looks startled for a moment but takes her seat. No one else seems to notice.

"Well-" Thalia starts but is cut off by a god flashing in the room. Poseidon. He looks around then straight at me before giving me a bear hug. Honestly if I didn't have godly strength I think he would have killed me.

When he lets me go I see that he has flashed us all to Olympus. All the the Olympians, Hestia and Hades stare at us wide eyed. My dad on the other hand seems to be doing all that he can to not tackle me again. Many of the gods actually come give me hugs. To my surprise Hades, Athena, Artemis and Ares are some that do.

Chiron tells them how I arrived at Camp and dad says he knew I was in my chair and etc. They all talk excitedly and I watched them amused.

"Percy?" Annabeth asks. I look over at her. She looks at me with worry. "Why haven't you said anything? What happened?" The others hear her and silence. I sigh. I take my backpack off and take out a water bottle I had been saving for this moment. I take off the cap and use the water to write out:

The Fates have forbidden me from making it known. To be sure they took my voice.

They look at me worriedly but I just shrug.

"Can you tell us anything?" Dad asks. I shake my head no. They are silent for a moment.

"You haven't grown," Athena comments. I shrug. I am prepared for this question. Comment whatever. I wave my hand and the water message changes.

I dunno I died 18. So I probably don't grow or something.

"Hazel grows," Frank says.

She's a Pluto kid. Plus I don't know anything about this stuff. I just accept it.

Athena still doesn't seem to believe me but doesn't speak.

"Wow Kelp Head I think you have finally had good luck," Thalia says. I roll my eyes. She comes and gives me a hug. The other demigods follow suit.

"So now what?" Leo asks. I change the message.

We go bowling!

"What?" They ask giving me a look.

Gods. It's so hard to be sarcastic writing this way!

They laugh.

"I say we hang out till dinner! Then we can re introduce you to camp." Annabeth says. I nod in agreement. Well so far so good.

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