Micha


I don’t know why I got so pissed off at Ella this morning on the phone, other than sometimes things between us feel hopeless. I love her and I know she loves me, but sometimes I don’t think she does as much. It hurts when I analyze it.


That night, I pack and go to bed early, feeling down that Ella isn’t coming with me. We’ve spent the holidays together every single year since we were five. It was the only way to celebrate, since her family was never really into it and my mom couldn’t afford to do much. She tried though, by decorating the house and making Ella and me a nice breakfast. She’d always wrap a few presents up for the both of us. It wasn’t much, but it was still nice.


Long after I fall asleep, my phone wakes me up. My hand fumbles across my nightstand, knocking over the lamp, until it finally brushes my phone. Still half alive, I blink my eyes into focus and see Ella’s names on the screen.


I answer it quickly. “What’s wrong?”


She sounds hoarse. “Can you come let me in? I didn’t want to ring the doorbell and wake Ethan up.”


“You’re at my house?” I rub my eyes and check the time on the clock.


“Yeah, I’m standing in front of the door.”


I stumble out of bed and hurry to the door in my boxers, with the phone still held up to my ear. Flipping the porch light on, I swing open the door. The light hits her swollen eyes and the red streaks on her cheeks from the dried-up tears. She’s wearing a pair of striped shorts, with flip-flops on her feet, and her hair is pulled up in a messy bun. She has no bra on under the thin tank top she’s wearing and I can see her nipples through the fabric.


“What are you doing?” I haul her inside the house to hide her barely covered body away from the eyes of anyone else. Her skin is ice cold and she’s shivering. “Did you walk here?”


She shakes her head and hugs her arms around herself. “No, I took the bus.”


My gaze skims her bare legs and her perky nipples. “Dressed like that?”


She shrugs and sinks down into the couch, grasping an envelope in her hand. “There was hardly anyone on it.”


Turning the lamp on, I sit down on the couch and put my arm around her shoulder, desperate to make her feel better. “What happened? And what’s that in your hand?”


She gives me the crinkled envelope with her name and address on it. “This came in the mail yesterday.”


I turn it over, noting that she’s opened and read whatever is inside. “Who’s it from?”


She taps the return address with her finger. “It’s from my dad.”


Shit. “What did he say?”


She stares at the floor, her eyes enlarged. “That he was sorry and that what happened to my mom wasn’t my fault. That it was his because he was the adult and he never should have left that kind of responsibility on a child. That he should have been home taking care of his family instead of at the bar… and that he loves me.” Tears flood her eyes and stream down her cheeks as her breathing becomes erratic. “I’ve wanted him to say that forever.”


The ache in her voice almost makes me cry. She climbs onto my lap and buries her face into my chest, sobbing as she clutches desperately onto me. I scoop her up in my arms and carry her back to my bedroom where I lie down with her.


With each tear shed, she steals more of my heart, until she owns it completely. I realize that even through the hard times I’m sure we’ll face, I’ll never be able to walk away from her.


I wake up with Ella’s head pressed into the crook of my neck and her arms clasped firmly around my waist, as if she feared I’d sneak off in the middle of the night.


She bawled her eyes out until she passed out and my heart nearly broke in two. Even though it makes me feel horrible, I sometimes hate her fucking family. They took a beautiful girl who was full of life and who could have done amazing things and crushed her into pieces. Although she’s fixable—I can see that now—she is still so broken and vulnerable.
“Rise and shine. We gotta hit the road.” Ethan bangs the door open, and when he takes in the situation, his face drops. “You are still going, aren’t you?”


I nod as Ella snuggles closer to me. “Yeah, give me like fifteen minutes or so.”


“Whatever, man. Just hurry your ass up.” He walks away, leaving the door wide open.


“Baby, are you awake?” I whisper in her ear and kiss the sensitive spot on her neck.


Her shoulder shivers upward as she nods her head with her eyes closed. “How could I sleep through Mr. Loud Mouth?”


I nibble at the tip of her earlobe and breathe in the scent of her hair. “I have to get ready to go… Are you sure you don’t want to come with us? I really want you to.”


Her leg hitches around my hip and her body bows into me. “I think I—I want to come with you guys, but I have to go back to my place and pack a bag real quick. And I have to stop by and do a quick visit with my therapist. We have to see if Lila will go with us too. I don’t want her here alone.”


My body stiffens from her intimate touch. “Alright, but you know Ethan’s gonna complain the entire time.”


She rolls on top of me, props herself up on her elbows, and peers down at me through her puffy eyes. “I know, but he’ll just have to deal with being a few hours late to wherever it is he thinks he has to be.”


Knotting my fingers through her hair, I tug at the roots and bring her face close to mine, loving how her eyes roll back. “Are you sure you’re okay? Last night you had me worried.”


“I’m fine, Micha.” She kisses my lips softly. “Last night was a good thing, even though it was intense… and I think I need to go back home. If nothing else than to talk to my father.”


She begins to recoil, but seizing her hips, I trap her in place and entice her lips back to mine. I slip my tongue inside her mouth and she lets out a quiet moan. When I let her go, our breathing is ragged. She backs off of me and I try not to think about our unbalanced love for each other. She’ll get there eventually, once she understands what love is.


When I call out “I love you” as she heads for the hallway and she returns it with only a smile, it stings a little.


Ella


Ethan lectured me the entire time I packed my bag and then his face got really red when I announced I had to go see my therapist before we took off. I need to talk to her, though, about my revelation last night. Ever since I was a little kid, I thought love wasn’t real. Then Micha showed me differently, but I still couldn’t love him like he deserved.


Whether intentional or not, my dad’s letter released me from some of the burden I’d been carrying. Not all of it, but some, and last night when I was curled up beside Micha, I envisioned something I’d been blind to.


A hope for a future.


Anna is locking up her office door when I arrive. “I thought I was supposed to meet you?”


She whirls around, pressing her hand to her heart, her eyes amplified as her keys fall from her hands to the floor. “Good God, you scared me.”


I scoop up the keys and hand them to her. “I’m sorry. I just thought we had an appointment today.”


She drops her keys into her purse. “I was actually getting ready to call you. I got a call from my sister and she needs me to come over a couple days early. She’s very worried about hosting Christmas dinner for everyone.”


We make our way down the hallway of the school and push out through the doors, which latch shut behind us. It’s a cloudy day and the violent breeze cools my skin and stings my cheeks.


“So I guess I’ll see you when you get back,” I say, getting ready to leave her and cut across the grass toward my apartment.


She turns for the parking lot, but stops at the curb. “Of course, first thing on Monday. And make sure to call me if you need anything.”


Ethan’s lifted truck drives up to the sidewalk and he lays on the horn. Anna’s eyes dart toward it and the heel of her shoe catches in the grass, causing her to trip.


I sigh and redirect my direction to the truck. “Sorry about that. He just gets kind of antsy.”


“Are you going somewhere?” She frees her shoe from the grass and steps back up onto the sidewalk.


I nod. “I decided to go with Micha and Ethan back home.”


She does the buttons of her navy blue jacket up. “That’s good. I’m glad you decided to go.”


I shield the wind from my face with my hand. “Why? I thought you said you weren’t sure if I should.”


“No, I said only you would know if you should.” She pauses and wisps of her short hair flap in the breeze. “Ella, can you do something for me on this vacation?”


“Sure, what?”


“Stop worrying so much and have fun. It’s what you need,” she says with a smile.


“I do have fun… sometimes.”


“Well, try to have fun the entire time.”


I pluck bits of my hair out of my mouth as I take in her words. “You remember what you said about being in a relationship with Micha and that only I would know when I was ready. Well, I think I’m ready. I know it’s really soon and everything, but last night, well, I saw a glimpse of a future with him that I really, really wanted. And that’s never happened to me before.”


She doesn’t look upset, like I’d expected she would. “That’s good. I’m glad you were able to see that. But remember to take things as slow as you need to. I want you to focus on yourself.” She waves and walks across the grass toward the parking lot. “Have fun, Ella, and I mean it. You deserve to.”


Fun? Is that the magic cure to repair my mind? I tuck my chin in and fight against the wind, heading toward the car—heading home.


Road trips with Ethan and Micha are a pain in the butt. I forgot about the guys’ “no bathroom stop” rule: they’ll only stop, like, every four hours for a break. If there isn’t a restroom close by, then they consider a bush a good substitution.


It doesn’t bother me that much, but poor Lila isn’t used to their crap. We’re sitting in the back of the truck on opposite sides and she’s bouncing up and down, jiggling her legs to hold it in.


“Just pull over.” I slap the side of Ethan’s arm for being an asshole and refusing to pull over. “She’s not going to pee off the side of an off-ramp.”


“I’ll back the truck up, so it blocks her,” he replies, stunning Lila. “No one will see.”


“I don’t think…” Lila presses a look at me for help.


I unbuckle my seatbelt and lean over the seat to pinch Ethan’s arm. “Pull the damn truck over now,” I threaten. “If not for me, for her.”


“Ow, you’re always so evil,” Ethan complains and then taps the brakes hard, sending me flying over the seat. “But I’m much eviler.”


I summersault over and my legs hit the dash as the shifter stabs me in the back. Sitting up straight, I smooth my hair into place and extend my hand toward him to do something equally as sinister, but Micha snags my elbow and pulls me onto his lap.


“Easy, you two,” he says, hugging me close and conforming his lap against my backside. “We have a long drive ahead of us still.”


Shooting me a dirty look, Ethan swerves the truck off the nearest off-ramp that leads directly to a truck stop. Semis line the chain-linked fence that borders the building and there’s a flashing marque promising everyone ten cents off each gallon when paying with cash.


He pulls up to an empty gas pump and silences the engine as he zips his plaid hooded jacket up. “But just so you know, this is for Lila, not you.”


I glare at him as Lila hops out of the truck and dashes toward the entrance of the building. She’s wearing a white dress and pearls around her neck, looking completely out of place at the truck stop. When I asked her why she was overdressing for a road trip, she shrugged and said she was used to having to dress up for days related to holidays.


Micha gets out of the car and offers his hand to help me out. The cool air hits my bare legs as I stretch my arms above my head.


Micha eyes me with amusement as he ruffles his blond hair into place so wisps are dangling across his forehead. “You know you give Lila crap for overdressing, but you kind of undressed.” He gestures at my jean shorts and purple T-shirt. “What were you thinking when you put that on?”


“Hey, it was hot when we left,” I argue, adjusting the bottom of my shirt back over my stomach. “And I wanted to be comfortable.”


He unzips his black hoodie, and his T-shirt rides up a little, showing a glimpse of his abs. “Put this on before you freeze to death.”


“I’ll be okay,” I assure him, enclosing my arms around myself.


He urges the jacket at me with persistency. “Take it, because I’m not putting it back on.”


I take the jacket and give him a quick kiss on the cheek before sticking my arms through the sleeves and zipping it up. It smells like his cologne mixed with a scent that belongs only to him and I inhale deeply, relishing it.


“Did you just smell my jacket?” he inquiries with a cock of his eyebrow. “Is that like some kind of weird ritual or something?”


“It smells like you,” I explain and pull the front of the jacket over my nose to shield it from the cold. “And I like the smell of you.”


He seems pleased with my odd response and tugs the hood over my head. “Smell away.”


Smiling, I turn for the gas station as a red Mustang, the same years as Blake’s, inches up to the pump two rows down. I shrug it off as coincidental, until Blake gets out of the car. He’s has on a gray beanie and a hoodie over a blue shirt. His jeans don’t have paint smudges on them and he has gloves on his hands. Micha and Ethan are distracted by a blonde who has her butt sticking out as she attempts to fill up the oil in her car. Ethan is saying something vulgar about her ass while Micha encourages him to go help her “fill up her tank.”
Rolling my eyes, I mosey over to Blake as he slides his credit card into the slot.


“So this is a freakishly weird coincidence,” I say, startling him and he drops his card onto the ground.


“Shit, you scared me.” He squats down to retrieve the card and then stands up straight. “What are you doing here?”


My gaze flicks to Micha laughing at Ethan attempting to hit on the blonde, who rolls her eyes and slams the hood down, uninterested.


“I’m headed home for the holidays.” I redirect my attention to Blake. “What about you? What are you doing all the way out here? Don’t you know California’s the other way?ߥ


The corners of his mouth quirk at my lame joke. “My mom lives in Cali, but my dad lives over in Colorado.”


“Oh, so you’re about to break to the east,” I say. “I see.”


After punching some buttons on the credit card machine, he removes the nozzle, puts it into car, and the gas gurgles.


He leans back against the car and folds his arms. “So you’re on the road with your boyfriend,” he says with an underlined meaning.


I flinch with guilt. “Yeah, about that night at the restaurant, I’ve been meaning to track you down and say sorry.”


His eyebrows lift with skepticism. “That’s funny, because it seems like you’ve been avoiding me.”


I sigh. “Was it that easy to tell?”


He shakes his head. “Ella, you practically ran away from me when I shouted out to you after class, but I just wanted to talk.”


I blow out an uneven breath as I fiddle with the zipper on my hoodie. “I’m sorry. I just didn’t know what to say. He was drunk that night and upset about some stuff.”


He glances over his shoulder at Micha removing the receipt from the pump and Ethan who’s digging out some soda from the cooler in the back of the truck. “He seems intense.”


“But that’s the thing. He’s not,” I say, defending him with irritation surfacing in my voice. “He’s normally not like that.”


“Okay, if you say so,” he says tolerantly.


I rest my butt on the top of the hood, letting my legs dangle over the side as I change the subject. “How come you didn’t bring your girlfriend with you?”


The gas pump clicks and he turns to take it out. “We broke up.”


“How come?” I ask, surprised. “You looked so happy.”


He rips his receipt from the machine and shoves it into his back pocket. “I don’t know. The last time I was there, things just were off.” He rubs his hand over his face. “We’ve been dating since we were fifteen and I think it only went on for that long because we were both too afraid to be without something we’ve had forever… We were together because we were attached to the idea of us.”


My mind wanders to Micha and myself. We’ve known each other forever. Is this how it will turn out? Anxiety grasps at my chest. I don’t want to lose Micha. Ever.


“Well, if you need anything, you can call me whenever.” I hop off the hood and my sandals splash in a rainbow-tinted puddle. “I’m not going to be doing anything except for probably getting into trouble.”


He chuckles as he rounds the back of the car. “You don’t seem like much of a troublemaker.”


A laugh sputters from my lips and I shuffle over to the driver’s side. “That shows how very little you know me.”


He opens the car door. “You’re right. I hardly know you, except for that you love to draw, don’t have a car, and think Professor Marlina’s watercolor’s look like paint-by-numbers.”


“They do,” I tell him in a serious tone. “I swear to God she copied them from one of those books.”


He grins, glances over in Micha’s direction, and then his gaze lands back on me. “So I have a question.”


I hesitate. “Okay.”


He wavers, considering something with his hand resting on top of the door. “So say I’m hanging out at my father’s house and I get really bored. Can I call you? Just to talk.”


I shift uncomfortably, putting my hands up into my sleeves. “Yeah, if you want.”


He winks at me and my uneasiness shoots up a notch. How the hell did things shift so fast? “I’m going to hold you to that.”


I give him a tense smile as I step back so he can shut the door. Waving, he backs out and drives out of the gas station parking lot. As I turn for Ethan’s truck, my body smacks into someone.


“Are you having fun?” Micha asks in a condescending tone, with eyes as cold as snow.


“We were just talking.” I move backward and then to the side to walk around him, but he sidesteps me and barricades my route.


“Ella May, I’m sorry to break it to you, but the guy was totally hitting on you.” He lowers his voice to a protective growl as he leans in and his eyes darken. “And if I see him do it again, he’s going to get punched in the face.”


“No violence,” I plead with a heavy-hearted sigh. “Why do guys always have to hit each other?”


“As opposed to knocking someone down to the ground and pulling their hair until they cry?” He edges out of the way of a car pulling in and tugs on my sleeve to drag me along with him.


“I did that once when I was twelve.”


“Or biting them on the arm?”


I huff a frustrated breath and wrench my arm away from him. “Alright, do whatever you want. I’m removing myself from the situation.”


As I march by him, his fingers grip my hip and he yanks me against him. Folding his arms around my shoulders, he walks behind me to the truck, freeing me only to open the door.


“I only want to hit him because I love you,” he says with a frown developing at lips. “It pisses me off how he looks at you, like that night at the restaurant. You may not see it, but even through my drunk eyes it was completely obvious.”


I take in the jealously written all over his face. “You’re jealous of Blake?”


“Of course I’m fucking jealous.” He gapes at me like I’m a moron. “He gets to be around you all day because you go to the same school. Plus, who knows how many times you hung out with him while I was on the road.”


“Twice outside of class.” I hurl myself into the backseat and accidentally bump the top of my head on the ceiling. “And once was because Lila needed to get off campus for a day.”


“You’re breaking a code even talking to him,” he tells me with sternness.


My jaw drops. “A code? Are you crazy?”


He props his foot on the sidestep of the lifted truck and puts his hand on the back of the seat. “Scoot over.”


I move over into the middle of the seat and he scoots into the backseat beside me. Folding my arms, I aim an irritated look of him. “So about these codes, you might need to let me know what they are. I mean, am I breaking some kind of code by being by myself in the backseat?”


He blinks, unentertained. “Argue all you want, but you didn’t see the way he was looking at you.”


“Micha, I’m not some prize everyone wants.” I inch toward the door to put more distance between us. I’m pissed off at his accusations and the fact that he doesn’t seem to trust me. “I’m a brat who has mental issues and who can’t make up her mind about anything.”


“Just the fact that you can admit that out loud,” he says as he slides closer me with his arm draped over the back of the seat, “makes you something special. Do you know how many people won’t admit their flaws and the things they need to work on—how many people can’t even see themselves?” He sneaks his hand between my thighs, his eyes forceful as he lures me back over to him and my heart leaps inside my chest. “You’re fucking special and if I want to act all possessive over you when some stupid art guy hits on you right in front of me, I’m going to. Either that or I’m going to have Ethan chase him down right now so I can punch him in the face.”


I clamp my jaw shut to stop my smile from appearing. “You’re funny when you’re like this.”


He kisses my temple. “Well, I’m glad you find my pain so entertaining.”


I peer up at him through me eyelashes. “I just have to say that I’ve seen you flirting with girls many times, making out with girls, taking them to your bedroom.”


He winces at the last part. “But what did I always say when you asked me about it?”


A smile breaks through. “That you were just buying time until I came around.”


“Exactly.” He rubs his lips together and all I want to do is lick them, take his lip ring into my mouth, and stroke his with my tongue. I want to do a lot of dirty things to him right now.


“Your mind’s going into the gutter, isn’t it,” he mocks arrogantly. “I can see lust written all over your face.”


I direct my concentration to the window, laughing under my breath. “You know, for someone who’s so sure of himself, you worry an awful lot about losing me.”


“That’s because I’d be lost without you.”


“Total player’s line, Micha Scott.”


Fixing a finger under my chin, he angles my head back toward him, so our lips are inches apart. “Remember the pact. You and I are in it for the long haul.”


“What pact?” Lila asks as she jumps up into the passenger seat, breathless from the climb into the tall truck. She has a large bag of Skittles and a bottle of water in her hand.


“A secret pact.” He beams a grin at me.


I’d almost forgotten about the pact made by two children trying to seek something that they could never really have—normalcy.


Ethan gets into the truck and spins the tires as he drives away from the gas station, racing toward the freeway, cranking up “Silhouettes” by Smile Empty Soul.


“I think we need a drink,” Micha declares, reaching for the back sliding window, so he can get into the cooler.
I seize his hand and hold it against my chest over my heart. “Not while we’re driving.”


Daggers shoot from his eyes as he scowls at my hand over his. “Why not? I’m not the driver.”


My lips part, about to confront him about his drinking, but I hear Anna’s warning echo in my head and I chicken out. “I just don’t think we should start drinking yet when we know we’re going to be doing that for most of the weekend.”


He withdraws his hand and rotates in the seat. “Excellent point. Although, it would help pass the time.”


I gaze at the window as the land progressively changes from green to white, lost in my thoughts. Will I ever be stable enough to help people instead of cause them problems?


Micha


It’s late when we arrive at Star Grove. The sky is black and the stars are covered by clouds. A thick layer of snow blankets the streets, the houses, and the yards, and red and green Christmas lights flash around the trimming of my house.


Lila is asleep in the front seat with her head relaxed against the window. Ella fell asleep in my lap and with her face so close to my cock that my mind has been filled with dirty scenarios almost the entire drive. But I boxed up my sexual tension, not wanting to relive another episode where Ethan overhears us doing naughty things.


When Ethan parks the truck in my driveway, Lila wakes up and stretches her arms above her head like a cat. “Where are we?” She blinks her eyes at my two-story house and then at Ella’s house next door. There are no tire tracks in the snow in the driveway of her house, which means no one is home.


My mom’s car is parked out in front of the open garage where the back end of the Chevelle sticks out. Ethan jumps out, leaving his door wide open, and tramples through the snow to the back of the truck. Lila follows, letting the cold air in, and meets Ethan at the tailgate. They begin to get the frozen suitcases out of the back.


Ella is nuzzled in my lap, fast asleep, and I just can’t help myself. Nibbling on my lip ring to stifle my laughter, I gently pinch Ella on the rib, right below her boob. She jumps up from her deep sleep, green eyes wild and glowing in the dim cab light.


“What the hell?” She smacks my arm, blinking the wreariness out of her eyes. “That was the meanest way to wake me up ever.”


I rub my arm where she hit me. “It was actually one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.”


“A jerk move.” She leans forward toward my neck, but at the last second heads south and bites at my chest through my shirt


I wince, but smile. “You know that turns me on more than anything.”


She brings her bottom lip in between her teeth. “You’ve been turned on for most of the drive. I could feel it pressed against my cheek.”


Ready to end the battle, I finish with a winning line. “That’s because you’re mouth was only inches away from my cock.”


Her cheeks heat up as her lip pops free, all red and swollen and so tempting. I get out of the car into the freezing cold and offer my hand to her. She takes it, about to jump out in the snow in her flip-flops.


“Wait a second.” I retract my hand and turn my back to her. “Hop on or else you’re going to freeze your toes off.”


She mounts my back willingly and I carry her to the porch. Icicles dangle from the trimming and the ice on the steps has been sprinkled with salt. My breath laces out in front of me as I reach above the porch light and retrieve the house key hidden below a clay pigeon. I lower Ella to the ground, hand her the key, and dismount off the steps into the driveway, my boots crunching in the snow.


“Unlock it and go inside,” I instruct, backing toward the car. “I’ll get our stuff.”


She watches me, her skin like porcelain beneath the porch light. “Who said I was staying here?”


“Who said you weren’t?” I smirk. “Now quit being a pain in the ass and get your butt inside where it’s warm.”


Before she turns away, a trace of a smile reveals itself on her lips. She unlocks the door and goes inside while I get our bags. Ethan decides he’s going to crash on the couch, which he’s done a lot since we were kids. Lila takes the bed in the spare room. That leaves Ella in my bed, something I’m thrilled about, although she probably won’t share the feeling.


After I show Lila where the room is and toss Ethan a blanket, I carry the bags to the bedroom. The light is on and Ella is lying in my bed on her stomach, flipping through the pages of…


“Where the fuck did you get that?” I lunge for the notebook, but she rolls to the side, laughing and hugging it to her chest.


“Oh my God… is this like your little black book?” She flinches as I leap on top of her and steal the notebook away from her hands.


“It’s not a little black book,” I practically growl. “It’s just a…”


“Journal that keeps track of all the girls you’ve slept with.” She slaps her hand over her mouth as she laughs so hard her face turns red. When she recomposes herself, she kneels up in front of me. “You know, I thought I knew everything about you, but I was wrong.”


I toss the notebook into the trashcan. “Where did you find that?”


She shrugs, lies back on her stomach, and slides her hands underneath the pillow. “It was under here.”


I kick the bags under my computer desk and turn on a lamp before shutting the ceiling light off. Then I shuck off my shirt and lie down in bed with her.


She’s shivering because the room is ice cold, but that’s how my mom likes to keep it to reduce the power bill. “There were a lot of names in there… more than I thought.”


I release a slow breath and rub my hand across my face. “Ella, I don’t know what you want me to say… I never wanted anyone to find that. It was just for my own personal thing, so I could…” I tense. “Keep track.”


She watches me expressionlessly and the level of awkwardness is maddening. “My name wasn’t in there.”


I rotate on my side and look into her eyes. “That’s because I knew I wasn’t going to have to keep track anymore. There’s been no one since you and there never will be again.”


Her breathing accelerates and she starts to get up. Thinking she’s going to leave, I reach to stop her, but all she does is discard her shoes onto the floor and shimmy out of her shorts. I instantly get excited at the sight of her ass sticking out of her panties.


She leaves my jacket on and climbs beneath the covers. “It’s cold,” she states with unreadable eyes.


I unbutton my jeans, slip out of them, and get under the covers with her, wincing when my feet brush hers. “Your feet are fucking cold.” I place a hand on her hip. “God, you’re cold everywhere.”


She wiggles her feet between my ankles and snuggles closer. “I guess you’ll have to keep me warm.”


I set my chin on top of her head. “You confuse me sometimes, pretty girl. You really do. One minute you’re mad at me and the next minute you seem to want me.”


She buries her face into my chest and her hot breath warms my chilled skin. “I confuse myself sometimes.” She pauses. “I think there’s something really wrong with my head, because reading that list just makes me want to have sex with you.”


Every muscle in my body freezes. “What did you just say?”


“You heard me right.” Her finger tickles circles around my nipple. “Like I said, I think there’s something very wrong with my head… It just made me want to take claim of you or something.”


“Then do it.” I hold my breath, waiting for her reaction.


She slants back and looks me in the eyes. “Not tonight. I’m tired, but you do have a birthday coming up in a few days.”


“Well, just to get things clear now, I want you wrapped up in a bow and nothing else. Well, maybe high heels. Those fucking gorgeous legs of yours look ridiculously sexy in heels.”


Smiling, she rests her cheek back on my chest and tangles her leg with mine, opening herself up to the top of my thigh and I can feel the warmth flowing off her. “Maybe that can be arranged.”


I embrace her and inch my legs closer, rubbing gently against her. “You seem to be in a good mood.”


Her breath catches from my touch and she rocks her hips slightly. “I’m just trying not to worry. Doctor’s orders.”


My hands slip around to her backside and I rest my palm on her thigh. “So does that mean that the old Ella May just might return?”


“No…” Her eyes close as my finger traces a line back and forth along her soft skin. “I don’t think she can exist anymore, but I’m pretty sure I can give you the real, current me… if you want.”


“Of course I want.” I grip her ass, shut my eyes, and breathe her in. “I want it all.”