Ella

Blake gives us a ride to lunch and then drops us off back at campus about an hour later. I try to be happy, but fail. According to my therapist, I shouldn’t try to conceal my feelings because it’s unhealthy. She says bottling things up and letting them eat away at me usually ends in disaster; that suffering in silence is never an option.

Lila hops out of the back of the car when Blake pulls into an empty parking space. “Thanks for the ride, Blake.” She shuts the door and shimmies off toward the sidewalk.

“Are you okay?” Blake asks me as I unbuckle my seatbelt. “You seem kind of quiet today.”

“I’m fine.” I start to open the door. “I just have a lot on my mind.”

Pulling the beanie off his head and ruffling his hair, he rotates in his seat to face me. “I’m a good listener.”

I eye him over warily. “I’m sure you probably don’t want to hear it.”

“Try me.”

“It’s about my boyfriend.”

“Ah.” His eyebrows arch upward. “The infamous Micha.”

“That would be the one,” I say. “He’s leaving… clear across the country.”

He wiggles the keys out of the ignition. “And you’re upset about this, I take it?”

“Well, obviously. He’s leaving and he was supposed to drive out here from LA this weekend.” The more I talk about it aloud, the more panic chokes at my chest. “But now he has to drive out to New York tomorrow. I have no idea why I’m telling you this. I’m sorry.” I climb out of the car and close the door.

He meets me at the front of the car, swings his bag over his shoulder, and pushes the lock button, the headlights blinking. We walk in silence toward the grass area that stretches over the front of the campus. Lila is underneath a tree talking to Parker, a tall guy with thick arms and sandy blond hair. He’s wearing a button-down shirt and a pair of fancy jeans. It’s her type of guy normally, except for Ethan. The two of them occasionally talk on the phone, although they still insist they’re just friends.

“Thanks for taking us to lunch.” I step up onto the curb. “I’m sure Lila’s thankful too. She’s been going crazy being stuck on campus.”

“Anytime.” He stuffs his hands into his pockets with a pensive look on his face. “So your boyfriend’s in LA right now?”

I nod unenthusiastically. “Until tomorrow.”

He mulls over something, gazing at the parking lot. “You know that’s only, like, a four-, four-and-a-half-hour drive from here. You could probably make it there later tonight if you left soon.”

“I know that.” I force back a smile, knowing I could make it there in less time than that. “But I don’t have a car.” I point over my shoulder at his red Ford Mustang. “Hence the ride this afternoon.”

An amused smile tugs at the corners of his lips. “I know, but I have a car that could get you there.”

“Why would you do that?” I ask, shocked.

He shrugs, scuffing his shoes against the sidewalk. “Because I know how hard it is to be away from the person you love.”

“Are you for real?” I ask, and he nods. “Let me get this straight. You’re going to let me borrow your car and drive it out of the state, so I can see my boyfriend for, like, a night?”

“Actually I was going to take you,” he clarifies. “My girlfriend lives in Riverside and you could drop me off and pick me up.”

“Girlfriend?” I sputter out a laugh. “Oh my God, you have a girlfriend?”

He tilts his head to the side with a mystified expression. “Am I that repulsive?”

I shake my head swiftly. “No, I’m sorry. It’s just that… Well, Lila thought you had a thing for me and that’s why you talk to me all the time.”

He tugs his beanie onto his head, pressing his lips together to suppress a laugh. “Oh, I see. Your friend’s… interesting.”

“She’s nice, though,” I tell him, glancing over at Lila, who’s running her fingers up and down Parker’s arm. “I love Lila to death.”
“I know that,” he replies. “And for the record, I talk to you because you’re an interesting person. You remind me a lot of my friends back home.”

I’m curious what his friends are like back home. “Are you sure you want to take me? Because you don’t have to.”

“I’m sure.” He tucks the car keys into the back pocket of his jeans. “It’s worth it just to keep that happy look on your face. You don’t smile very much.”

I can’t stop smiling. “Well, thank you. It means a lot to me.”

“Why don’t you go grab your stuff and we can meet back here in, like, an hour.” He backs down the sidewalk as I hike across the grass toward Lila.

“Sounds good,” I call over my shoulder. “And thanks again.”

By the time I reach Lila, she’s writing her phone number on Parker’s hand with a red pen.

“We’re going on a road trip,” I announce, interrupting the conversation.

Parker gives me a once-over and then dismisses me with his eyes. “So I’ll call you later then?” he asks Lila.

“Yeah, sure.” She waves at him and he struts toward the main entrance of the campus, high-fiving another guy standing beneath the canopy in front of the doors.

“Where and why are we going on a road trip?” Lila clicks the cap back on the pen and drops it into her bag.

My stomach flips, thinking about how I’m going to see Micha in just hours. “To LA. Blake is giving us a ride. And before you say anything, he has a girlfriend.”

“Sure he does,” Lila says cynically. “And he also really loves her and would never do anything to hurt her. Typical guy cop-out.”

“What… Are you okay?” I’ve never heard her say anything like this before.

“I’m fine,” she swears, shrugging it off. “Let’s go.”

Blake’s a slow driver and when I ask him what he has under the hood, he has no idea. I try not to give him too much crap about it, but a few sarcastic remarks slip out.

“Aw, you like cars.” He merges the car back into the slower traffic lane.
From the backseat, Lila snort-laughs. “Likes them. The girl’s insane about them. It’s actually kind of annoying.” She shoots me a grin and I flip her the middle finger.

“Is it just old cars?” He makes a careful turn down the off-ramp. “Or is it cars in general?”

“Fast cars.” Like Micha’s poor Chevelle lying in pieces in his garage back home. May it rest in peace. “One’s that will kick ass in a race.”

He cuts me a sideways glance. “Now I’m starting to get concerned about letting you borrow my car.”

“I won’t race it.” I cross my heart with my finger. “I swear I’ll be easy on it.”

He winks at me. “Don’t worry, I trust you.”

The way he says it makes me uncomfortable and Lila gives me a knowing look in the rearview mirror.

We keep quiet for most of the drive. Blake doesn’t have the air on and the black leather seats get hot and stick to the back of my legs. When we pull up to his girlfriend’s house, which is in the suburbs where every house and yard looks similar, I’m sweating.

His girlfriend runs out of the house and throws her arms around him, nearly knocking him to the ground. She’s petite with red streaks in her hair and a piercing through her nose. She waves at us and then Blake backtracks to the trunk. Maneuvering over the console and into the driver’s seat, I pop the handle and he gets his suitcase out, before shutting it.

He walks around to the driver’s-side window and waits for me to roll it down.

“Be careful,” he reminds me in a serious tone and I nod.

Flashing me a grin, he heads off to the house as Lila dives over the console and into the front seat.

“Be careful,” she says in a low, mocking voice. “I’m trying to be so sexy.”

“He didn’t sound like that.” I pull out onto the street.

“You’re so blind.”

“And sometimes you see too much.”


I merge out onto the freeway and into the fast lane, but resist the urge to punch the pedal to the floor and get us there in half the time. Lila takes a nap with her head resting against the window and I bask in the peace of being on the road until we brink the edge of town, which glows against the night.

I nudge Lila’s shoulder to wake her up. “We’re here.”

She blinks her weary eyes and sits up in the seat. “What’s up? Where are we?”

“We’re in LA. Or on the outskirts of it anyway,” I say as her eyes sweep the towering buildings and the considerable amount of traffic in front of us. “Can you look up the address on your phone?”

She cracks her window, letting the warm air blow in. “Can’t you just call him and tell him you’re coming?”

“I want it to be a surprise.”

“Why? Are you trying to catch him doing something wrong, like, say, with Naomi?”

“No.” I flip on the blinker and check my mirror. “I trust Micha.”

“But you don’t trust her.” A large truck honks its horn and Lila glances out the window. “I don’t blame you. From the stories you’ve told me, she seems a little sketchy. In fact, maybe while we’re here, we could have a little talk with her.” She pops her knuckles and I bust up laughing.

“Oh my God, what have you been watching?” Tapping the brakes, I slow down the car to match the traffic.

“How to beat the girl who’s hitting on your best friend’s boyfriend.” She grins at me and retrieves the phone out of her purse. “What’s the name of the place?”
“The Slam,” I tell her and she arcs her eyebrows. “What? That’s what it’s called?”

“Are you sure it’s not called The Slam-er?” She laughs cleverly.

I roll my eyes. “Ha-ha. You’re so funny.”

She enters the location into the GPS and frowns at the long line of cars in front of us. “It says it’s like five miles into town… It’s going to take forever.”

My eyes narrow on the road as the traffic crawls forward. “No, it won’t.”
“Hey.” Lila stabs a finger at me, reeling in her seat. “You promised Blake you wouldn’t race his car.”

I down shift and the engine purrs to life. “I’m not going to race it. I’m just going to shoot the gaps.”

She secures her seatbelt over her shoulder. “I don’t even want to know what that means, but I swear to God, if we end up driving into the median, I’ll never talk to you again.”

“O ye of little faith.” I rev up the RPMs and swerve over to the next lane, cutting off a red Camry. The driver honks the horn and Lila grips the edge of the leather seat. “You know I’ve seen you drive this crazy before, right?”

She glares at me. “And I’m okay when I’m the driver and know I have control of the situation.” I flinch at her words and she adds, “It gives me a sense of safety.”

I loathe hearing the word “control.” It reminds me of how much my mind craves it. It’s sort of like an addiction, like alcohol or cigarettes.

I hit the brakes as the front of the car verges on the back end of a lifted truck. There’s a tiny gap over to the next lane and I debate if it’s doable.

“Don’t you dare,” Lila warns with fear in her blue eyes. “It’s too narrow.”

The guy in the side lane slows down and I redline the RPMs, crank the wheel at the last second, and squeeze us over easily.

Lila huffs out a breath as she slumps back in the seat. “If I didn’t love you so much, I’d totally hate you.” She fusses with her blonde hair and wipes some smeared eyeliner out from underneath her eyes.

I continue dodging in and out of traffic until we reach the exit. Driving like this makes me feel alive and by the time we reach the club Micha is playing at, adrenaline is coursing through my body.

“This place looks sketchy.” Lila crinkles her nose at the warehouse nestled between Larry’s Biker Bar and The Adult Video Store. It’s late, and the stars and moon light up the dry leaves and cigarette butts on the asphalt.

“You said that about Star Grove too.” I kick open the door and step outside. “And you survived that place.”

She rolls her eyes as she climbs out of the car. “Star Grove doesn’t look nearly as bad as this place.”
We head across the parking lot, walking close to each other when a group of guys smoking behind a truck make catcalls.

“I still can’t believe Blake let me borrow his car.” I jump over a pothole. “If I owned a Mustang, I sure as hell wouldn’t lend it out to someone I barely knew, especially after I told him I like to race.”

“I told you it’s because he likes you.” She elbows me as we turn down the alley that leads to the front entrance of the club. “I have an eye for these things.”

“He has a girlfriend, Lila. And it seemed like they really love each other.” I sidestep a Dumpster and emerge onto the busy sidewalk. Cars drive up and down the road and bright graffiti decorates the metal exterior of the neighboring buildings.

Pausing in front of the entrance, I pull my hair out of the ponytail and it falls to my shoulders. Letting go of Lila’s arm, I quickly tie the lace of my boot, then unfasten two of the top buttons on my plaid shirt and smooth out the wrinkles on my denim skirt.

“Wow, I’ve never seen you this fussy before,” Lila comments as she refastens the ribbon lacing up the front of her maroon shirt. “It’s very entertaining.”

“I don’t know why, but I suddenly feel really nervous,” I admit, tousling my hair with my fingers.

“It’s because you love him.” Lila bats her eyelashes and I shove her gently. “Relax. It’s because you haven’t seen him for, like, a month. Honestly, I’m a little afraid to be in the same room as you two. You’ll probably have your clothes off and on the floor in a matter of seconds.”

Rolling my eyes, I enter the club where a bouncer with snake tattoos on his muscular arms and a scar on his lip blocks the path to the table area.

“IDs please.” His tone suggests we don’t have them.

Lila and I take our fake IDs out of our pockets and hand them to him. He evaluates them carefully and gives them back to us, stepping aside to let us through.

We walk into an open room filled with tables and chairs. The air is musty, the bar is crammed with people, and the music is loud, but the sound of the singer’s voice is more familiar than the beat of my heart.

“Aw, look at him up there all hot and sexy,” Lila says, but I barely hear her.

All of my concentration focuses on the stage near the far back wall. Beneath the low lighting, Micha sings one of his own songs, playing the guitar with his head tipped down and his hair hanging in his sparkling aqua eyes. My hands ache to touch him, tangle through his hair, feel the softness of his lips.
The band plays in the background and it takes my breath away as his lyrics flow over my body.
The silence in your eyes is more than I can take.
Look at me for once and see how my heart aches.

You keep me alive. You keep me breathing.

All I want, all I need is you.

The room blends away and it’s just him and me. I hear Lila move away from me, probably heading to the bar to order a drink. It takes Micha only seconds to find me in the middle of the crowded room, like our hearts sense each other. He tries to maintain a straight face as he spills out the lyrics, but a trace of a smile reveals at his lips.

He finishes out the last set with a final chord, and then quickly turns to Naomi, who’s wearing a tight black dress and knee-high boots. Micha says something to her as he hands her the guitar. She nods, tucking her black hair behind her ear, and he hops off stage, and his long legs stride for me as he shoves through the crowd. He doesn’t slow down until he scoops me up in his arms, not caring that there are a ton of people watching us.

I fasten my legs around his waist and he kisses me intensely, stealing every ounce of oxygen from my lungs. Our bodies and tongues conform together, and the heat of him sears my skin. His lip ring scores into my bottom lip, but I want more. Begging him closer, I breathe him in, tasting him, wanting to feel him as much as possible before we part again.

When he leans back, a fire flares deep inside his aqua eyes and my stomach somersaults with excitement.

“God, I’ve missed you, pretty girl.” He kisses me again and his hands wander all over my body. Reluctantly, he pulls away, breathless. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but what are you doing here? Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing’s wrong. Lila said I needed to come see you before you left.” I trace my fingers along the back of his neck and he shivers from my touch. “She said that she was sick of my bad attitude and that I needed to get you out of my system, at least for a day or so.”

He bites at his lip, stifling a smile. “You know you could never get me out of your system. It’s not possible.”
“I know, but I can try,” I tease. “In fact, I could try a lot.”

A naughty look dances in his eyes. “I like the sound of that.”

He moves in for another kiss, deliberately this time, but with equally as much passion as all our kisses. “I have two more songs to play and then you and I can leave.”

I blink dazedly. “Where are we going?”

He lets out a breathy laugh as he presses up against me. “First things first. We’re going to go back to the hotel and take care of some much needed business.”

I try not to smile, but it’s impossible. “And then what are we going to do?”

“Then we’ll go out and do something fun,” he promises, setting me back on the floor. He kisses my forehead, and then moves back through the crowd to the stage.

I find Lila at the bar and plop down in a barstool next to her. My gaze locks on Micha on stage as he starts to play a cover of his sad-turned-happy song—our song, as he tells me all the time.

“Oh thank God.” Lila stirs the red fruity drink in her hand. “You’re happy again.”

Forcing my lips together, I suffocate my giddiness, but eventually it surfaces. It’s terrifying, feeling this way. I didn’t realize how down I was until now.


Micha


It’s the first time I’ve ever been excited to be done performing. I can’t wait to get out of the club and take her back to the room. The entire time I’m singing, my eyes are fixed on her. Deep down, I’m singing only to her.

When I finish, the band clears the stage. I hold up a finger at Ella, letting her know I’ll be a second, and then go into the room where our instruments are.

“Someone got a nice surprise,” Naomi comments as she pulls her long, black hair up into a bun and glances at herself in the cracked mirror on the wall. “Looks like you won’t be going out with the band tonight.”

“I think we’ll come out with you.” I put my guitar into the case and clip the locks. “But I’m going back to the hotel room first and you guys might want to steer clear of it for a while.”
She rolls her eyes and Dylan, our drummer, lifts up his hand to give me a high-five. Dylan likes to call himself “The Ladies Man” and spends a lot of time bragging about his hookups while we’re on the road. It’s annoying as shit and I dismiss his high-five.
"Take my guitar with you and I’ll text you later.” I hand Naomi the case and walk backward for the door. “Oh yeah, and would you mind if Ella’s friend hung out with you guys for a while?”
She shrugs as she puts on some red lipstick. “I guess… but is it that blonde one? Because she doesn’t really look like she’ll be too happy hanging with us lowlifes.”

I open the door. “She just looks stuck-up, but she’s cool.”

When I walk back out into the club, Ella and Lila are at the bar. Ella’s drinking a beer, with her endless legs crossed, and Lila’s sipping on some girlie fruit drink. They’re talking about something and Ella’s got a huge smile on her face.

Interrupting the conversation, I squeeze between them and press my lips to hers, giving her a deep kiss. When I draw back, her eyes are big and glassy and I love that I’m the one who put the look on her face.

“Oh great, now the clothes are coming off.” Lila crosses her legs and laughs, exchanging a look with Ella.

“What’s up?” Dragging a finger across her collarbone, I step up behind Ella and circle my arms around her waist.

“It’s nothing.” Ella rests her head against my chest. “She’s just making an inside joke.”

“Speaking of inside.” I take her hand and pull her to her feet. “We need to go.”

She hauls me back toward the bar as I try to pull her through the crowd toward the exit. “What about Lila? We can’t just leave her here.”

Lila finishes her drink and slides the empty glass onto the counter. “I can hang out in the car or something.”

I shake my head. “That’s not a good idea. Not in this kind of neighborhood. But Naomi said you can hang out with her and the band.”

Lila glances at Ella unsurely and when Ella nods, she sighs. “Alright, I’ll hang out with her… I guess. But where are they going?”
“Just to dinner, I think,” I tell her as Naomi exits from backstage and makes her way across the room toward us.

“Ready to go?” Naomi asks Lila in a formal tone and gives Ella a tight smile. “Hi, Ella, how are you?”

“Great,” Ella replies nonchalantly and her jaw spasms.

There’s an awkward silence that only girls can create.

“Okay then, I guess we should get going.” Naomi raises her eyebrows and motions for Lila to come with her as she leaves for the back.

“Please hurry,” Lila says pressingly and trudges after Naomi toward the back area.

I tug Ella eagerly toward the front door, shoving people out of my way. When we step outside, I grab her arm, whirl her around, and pick her up.

“Where’s your car?” I ask as she hitches her legs around my waist and my dick instantly gets hard.

She loops her arms around the back of my neck and her green eyes sparkle underneath the streetlights. “It’s parked out back.”

I stumble blindly down the dark alley as I kiss her fiercely and tangle my fingers in her long, auburn hair that smells sweetly of vanilla. I trip over the curb at the end, but regain my balance without breaking the kiss. My hand cups her ass and the other one explores the soft skin of her thigh.

“Did you wear this skirt just for me, so I’d have easy access?” I murmur against her lips as my fingers inch up her leg.

Laughing against my mouth, she pinches my ass. “You at least have to get us in the car before you start doing stuff to me.”

“Yeah right.” I caress her tongue with mine, savoring her, before moving away. “I’m planning on throwing you down on the hood right here, right now.”

She restrains a smile. “No way. There are people everywhere.”

My eyes skim the dark parking lot and a few perverts sitting on a dropped tailgate of a truck are watching us. “Fine, point taken… Where’s Lila’s car?”

A guilty look crosses her face like she’s done something wrong. “I guess I forgot to tell you, but Lila’s dad towed her car away a little while ago, so we had to borrow a car.”
I glance around again. “Which one is it?”

She points over her shoulder at a car parked toward the back. “The red Mustang right there.”

I eye her over suspiciously. “Where did you two find someone who would let you borrow their Mustang?”

“Someone I know from school.” She shrugs coolly. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Was this person a guy?”

“Um… yeah… it’s Blake’s, but it doesn’t mean anything. In fact, we dropped him off in Riverside at his girlfriend’s house.”

My arms start to loosen around her as I decide whether to put her down on the ground or keep her close. “So not only did he let you drive his car, but he drove with you?”

“Micha, stop it.” She constricts her legs around my waist, refusing to let me go. “You’re on the road all the time with Naomi and I let it be. Besides, you’re always telling me to trust you, and you need to do the same.”

Fuck. She has a point, but I’m still jealous. It is a first for me and I’m not a fan of it.

Shaking it off, I walk for the car again, resolving to keep hold of her. Gripping onto my shoulder with one hand, she gets the keys from her skirt pocket and unlocks the car. Without putting her down, I maneuver the driver’s-side door open and set her into the seat.

I rest my hand on the top of the door and stare down at her. “And for the record, I do trust you. It’s guys I don’t trust. They think with their dicks.” She sighs and I slam the door, pretending like it’s not annoying as shit that I’m climbing into some other guy’s car.

She drives the car really slowly to the hotel. When I ask her why she’s driving like an old lady, she blows out a frustrated breath and tells me she promised Blake she’d behave while she drove it. This makes me feel a little better.

“So he’s a pussy,” I say, not even trying to hold my smile back.

She parks the car in front of the trashy two-story motel littered with beer bottles and cigarette butts, and some rough-looking people are hanging out on the stairway and balcony.

“Micha, what’s your problem? Why is this bugging you so much?” She aims to sound upset, but a hint of laughter escapes in her voice.
I get out of the car and lower my head back into the cab. “I don’t like that this guy gets to hang out with you and lend you his car when it should be me.”


When she climbs out, she accidentally drops her keys on the ground. Bending over to pick them up, I get a glimpse of her black, lacy panties. “I know it’s hard, isn’t it?”


I can’t help myself. “Oh yeah, it’s very, very hard.” My tone insinuates my dirty thoughts and I slide over the hood of the car. Snagging her by the hips, I yank her against me. “Alright, I’m done talking about Blake for a while,” I say and kiss her.


Without another word, I slip my hand into hers and lead her up the stairs, past the vending machine and the two women who are yelling at each other on the balcony. By the time I have the door open to the room, I’m already unbuttoning her shirt. My lips seal against hers as I kick the door shut, continuing to unfasten the buttons.


My knuckles graze across the soft skin of her stomach and I groan, drawing my lips away from her briefly so I can tug her shirt off. I toss it onto the floor and crash my mouth into hers again. Spreading my fingers along her lower back, I request more of her. I can’t get enough.


Her hand runs down my chest until her fingers find the bottom of my shirt and then she pulls it over my head and chucks it onto the floor. With our tongues entwined, I back us toward the bed.


She fiddles with the button on my jeans and a groan escapes my throat as we collapse onto the mattress. “God, I’ve fucking missed this,” I mutter.


She leans away, with a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “Is that the only reason you’ve missed me? Because you needed to get laid?”


I brush strands of her auburn hair out her face. “No, I miss everything. Your laugh, your smile, the way you pretend to be mad at me when really you think I’m funny.” I kiss her cheek softly. “I miss the way you taste.” I press my lips to her jawline and her neck arches. “The way you smell.” I suck on her neck, rolling my tongue along her skin as my hand glides up her thigh and to the edge of her panties. “The way you feel.” I slip my fingers inside her and a moan falters her lips as her body bows up.


“Micha…” Her eyes get lost as I feel her the way I’ve wanted to for the last month.


“Yeah, I miss that too,” I say and reconnect my lips with hers.


Ella


I didn’t realize how much I missed him until now. His fingers continue to feel me as his tongue strokes the inside of my mouth. I breathe out his name, moaning as I lose control of my body and mind, with my fingertips digging into his shoulder blades.


After I regain myself, I peel off my skirt and lie back on the bed, ready for more. He gets out of his jeans and boxers and reaches for his wallet to get a condom.


I grasp his hand, halting him, and rub my finger along the infinity tattoo on his arm. “You don’t need one.”


He cocks an eyebrow, looking at me like I’m crazy. “Yeah, Ella… I don’t think—”


I cover his mouth with my hand. “No. Not because of that. You don’t need one because I’m on the Pill.”


When I lower my hand from his lips, he doesn’t look happy, which I didn’t expect.


“Why did you go on the Pill?” he wonders. “We barely see each other.”


I pinch his nipple and he flinches, laughing. “Thanks for the accusation, but I think it’s pretty self-explanatory, since the last time we had sex, things got a little too heavy and you almost forgot to put one on.”


“Yeah, good point.” He conceals his body over mine, thinking about something that seems to entertain him.


“Why do you have that look on your face?” I sketch my fingers up and down his back.


He sucks his lip ring between his teeth and then a smile breaks through. “It’s nothing.”


“It’s something. You have this goofy grin on your face, so just tell me.”

“Trust me. You don’t want to know.”


“Fine.” I tighten my legs together, so he can’t get any closer.


“So that’s the way it’s going to be?” He grins wickedly, then pins my arms above my head and dips his lips beside my ear. “I was thinking about how nice it was going to feel inside you without a condom on.”


I shake my head, but let my legs fall open and I collide my lips into his. Keeping my arms trapped, he nips my bottom lip with his teeth as he thrusts inside me and my entire body ignites with ecstasy.


He shuts his eyes and inhales deeply through his nose. “Fuck, Ella…” His eyes open and he rocks in me.


Sweat beads our skin as our bodies conform together. Cupping the back of his head, I pull his lips against mine, take his lip ring into my mouth, and explore it with the tip of my tongue. My legs squeeze around his hips as he keeps pumping inside me and I let out a blissful moan. My head tips back as I lose it again and Micha begins to slow down until he finally stills.


We’re panting and heat radiates off our bodies. He brushes my hair away from my damp forehead and looks me in the eyes. It feels like there’s something he wants to say, something meaningful, but instead he just kisses my forehead and grins. “Ten more minutes and I’m back in the game.”


Two hours later, we are fully dressed again and driving to the club to catch up with Lila and the band. It’s after midnight, but the town is alive. Cars line the road, people walk up the sidewalks, and lights shine against the night.


After Micha begged me for five minutes straight to let him drive, I finally surrendered and handed over the keys, but only after he swore not to drive like a crazy person.


He throttles the gas anyway and rips the tires against the asphalt as he floors the car onto the main road.


“You promised.” I stab a finger at him. “Behave.”


“This thing’s weak,” he says, pleased. “What’s it got under the hood?”


“I don’t know.” I shrug. “I didn’t look. I was too busy trying to get here to see you.”


He reaches over the console and places his hand on my thigh, bringing warmth between my legs. “Come on. You know you want to let me see how fast it can go. And then afterward, we can pull over and you can take all that excitement out on me in the backseat.”


“You are ridiculously horny,” I tell him, smiling. “But I’m sure you know that.”


“I do,” he says simply, halting at a stoplight. The red glow illuminates the cab. “I’m on the fucking road, away from you all the time… it’s becoming a real problem.”


Panic strangles me as I think of him being far away in New York surrounded by women who would probably happily take care of his problem. I exhale gradually, so he won’t hear the unsteadiness of my breathing.


“Hey.” He strokes my inner thigh with his thumb as the light turns green. “I know what you’re thinking and you need to relax. I would never do anything to hurt you.”


I smile, but it doesn’t feel real. People never mean to do things that are hurtful, yet sometimes it just happens, through an intense moment, through brief rationalization, or by simply speaking words that only belong inside one’s head.


Or simply by giving up for a second.


People hurt each other all the time.


Micha


Ella has a wandering mind by the time we pull up to the club, but so do I. I’m not sure if her surprise visit was a good thing or a bad thing because it’ll make it harder to leave when morning comes around.


It turns out that only Naomi, Chase, and Lila are at the club. Dylan left with the hostess, but no one really seems to know where to—or they just don’t care.


There’s some really cheesy music playing in the background and a woman wearing red boots and a cowgirl hat is dancing in front of an old guy, trying to seduce him, but she’s drunk and keeps falling down.


An instant tension builds at the table once we sit down. Lila targets Ella with a heavy look and mouths bitch while nodding her head at Naomi.


I raise an eyebrow, glancing between Ella and Lila. While Naomi’s distracted with Chase, Lila leans over the table and shields the side of her face with her hand. “Remind me to tell you a lovely little story later.”


It’s hard not to roll my eyes at the silliness. “Should we order an appetizer or something?”


“We already did,” Naomi snaps, shooting me a dirty look. “And we ordered drinks, but neither has been brought out yet.”


I hold my hands up in front of me and lift my eyebrows. “Okay, sorry for asking.”


She practically snarls at me and I wonder if a catfight broke out between Lila and her. “Well, I’m getting annoyed with the crappy service.”


I drape my arm around Ella’s shoulder and whisper in her ear, “What are you looking at?”


She jumps, startled, and turns her head toward me. “It was nothing. I was just dazing off.”


I track the direction she was looking, to an old couple cuddled up together in a booth. They’re a little bit rough around the edges, like they’ve had one too many road trips across the country on their Harleys.


“Why were you staring at the old couple?” I play with her hair.


She shakes her head promptly. “I wasn’t.”


I stare at her lip as she nibbles on it nervously, but decide to let whatever she’s been weird about go for now, not wanting to ruin the one night we get together for the next month.


Ella


For some reason, I find myself staring at an old couple and picturing what it would be like if Micha and I were still together at that age. The man feeds the woman a bite of his food and she leans over to give him a kiss. It’s fascinating watching them because my parents were never that affectionate with each other.


The more I think about it, the more my nerves own me. I can’t see Micha and me together, old and sitting at a table, feeding each other—I can’t see anything.


Micha is concerned about me, like he always is when I’m acting like a weirdo. I focus on the conversation, nodding my head, even though I have no idea what’s going on.


When we’re leaving, Lila seizes my elbow and rips me away from Micha’s grasp.


“What are you doing?” I say, stumbling to keep up with her as she tows me around the corner of the brick restaurant and into the smoking area. It’s dark and the air feels a little damp compared to Vegas’ dry heat.


“That Naomi is a bitch.” She waves her finger as she talks.


My eyebrows furrow as I check to make sure no one is listening to us at the corner of the building. “Why? What did she do to you?”


“She didn’t do anything to me.” She crosses her arms and her face reddens with anger. “She said stuff about you.”


“Like what?”


“That you mess with Micha’s head. That you’re no good for him.”


My jaw drops. “She said that to you?”


“No, but I overheard her.” He eyes wander to a group of guys standing by the corner observing us. “She thought I was in the bathroom, but I was coming back and I heard her talking to that Chase dude, who by the way is so hot.”


“The one with a lot of tattoos and with a Mohawk thing going on?” I ask and she nods. “He doesn’t seem like your type.”


She shrugs and then quickly shakes her head. “That’s beside the point. I think Naomi wants Micha, and I don’t trust her.”


“We’ve gone over this a thousand times.” I hold my breath as a guy with a cigarette walks by and blows smoke in our direction. “I trust him.”


“I think you’re making a mistake.” She picks some mascara off her eyelashes. “I think you should ask him to quit the band.”


“No way, I would never do that to him,” I say, appalled.


“It’s your call,” she replies. “But I’m saying I smell trouble.”


“Yo, Ella May!” Micha hollers from the corner of the building and Lila and my gazes dart to him. “What are you doing?”


I glance at Lila. “Thanks for worrying about me, but it’ll be okay.”


She sighs and we walk over to Micha, who’s waiting for me with his hand extended. “Is something wrong?”


I stare into his eyes, glimmering with happiness. “No, everything’s great.”


Micha


Usually, everyone in the band crashes in the same room. Naomi takes one of the beds and the rest of us flip a coin to see who gets the other. Tonight, I get an extra room so Ella and I can have more time together.


After some charming persuading on my part, I convince Lila to sleep in the same room as the band. She doesn’t seem too thrilled about it though, since Dylan won’t stop bothering her.


Once we’re alone, Ella flops down on the bed and drapes her arm over her head. “I’m exhausted. What time is it?”


I glance down at the leather-banded watch on my wrist. “Almost three o’clock.”


“Really?” She props up on her elbows. “Do you always stay up this late?”


“Usually.” I unfasten my watch and slip off my boots, prowling toward her. “And I’m good for a few more hours at least.” I shuck off my shirt, climb onto the bed, and cover her body with mine. Her fingers trace my stomach muscles and the black cursive font of the tattoo on my ribs.


“I’ll always be with you, inside and out,” she reads. “Through hard times and helpless ones, through love, through doubt.”


I lean back a little, bring her hand to my mouth, and gently kiss her palm. “You know I wrote that for you.”


“No, you didn’t.” Her eyelids flutter as I breathe on the sensitive spot of her wrist. “You wrote that when you were, like, sixteen.”


“Actually fifteen.” I release her hand and lie down on top of her, supporting my weight with my arms. “I remember sitting down to write it and the only inspiration I had was your sad eyes—I couldn’t get them out of my head.”
She pouts. “I don’t have sad eyes, do I?”


I brush my finger along her cheekbone and underneath one of her green eyes. “You did. All the time. And sometimes you still do.”


“You look sad sometimes too,” she tells me with her auburn hair spread out across the pillow below her head. “But right now you look happy.”


“That’s because I am happy.” I start singing her the lyrics and it makes her grin broaden.


“There we go,” I say and kiss her deeply, nipping at her lip and tracing my tongue along the inside of her mouth.


She wraps her long legs around me and things turn heated. Threading my fingers through her hair, I caress her neck with my tongue until I know she’s going to have a hickey. Her shoulder shudders upward from the touch of my breath and she giggles.


I put a small gap between us and look her in the eyes. “Does that tickle?”


She shakes her head with a solemn expression on her face. “No, not at all.”


I pinch her side playfully and she jerks sideways, attempting to roll out from under me.


“Please don’t.” She laughs, struggling for air. “Pretty please.”


I listen to her, because there’s something else I’m dying to do. I begin to undress her, deliberately at first, but then my movements turn desperate and I end up ripping some of the buttons off her shirt.


Minutes later, our clothes are in a pile on the floor and I’m back inside her. As I stare into her eyes, I consider begging her to come with me on the road, but the moment is fleeting and I realize I just can’t do that to her.


I wake up in a quiet room with Ella in my arms, and her naked body curled up against me. I wish it was possible to wake up every morning like this, but then someone would have to give up something important.


“God, what the fuck am I going to do?” I whisper aloud to myself.


Morning is peeking through the curtain and cars buzz down the main road in front of the hotel. I watch Ella sleep for a bit, while I run my fingers along her back, until finally her eyelids peek open.


“You’re awake.” She blinks the tiredness away.


I twist a lock of her hair around my finger. “I couldn’t sleep.” She starts to sit up, but I tighten my arms around her and hold her to me. “Just stay put for a few more minutes. I like holding you.”


Her eyes examine me, and she rests her head back on my shoulder. “What’s wrong? You seem upset.”


I smooth away the worry line between her brows with my thumb. “Have you ever thought about what we’re going to do with our lives? With each other?”


She bites at her bottom lip. “Sometimes I think about it.”


“And where do you see us going?” I ask with caution, not wanting to scare her with what I’m thinking about asking her. I need to test the waters first.


Her eyes round and her breathing becomes frantic. “Are you breaking up with me?”


I snort a laugh. “Why the fuck would you ever think that?”


She props up on her elbow and gazes down at me, her hair a curtain around our faces. “Because you have this look on your face like you’re about to tell me some horrible news.”


“It’s not bad news.” I guide her body on top of mine. “But I’m not sure if you’ll be happy about it either.”


She clutches onto my shoulders as she pushes herself up, so she’s straddling me and I can feel her warmth on my cock. The blanket falls from her shoulders and her breasts are just above my face.


“Please hurry up and tell me, then,” she begs. “Because you’re scaring the shit out of me right now.”


“I think…” I stop, remembering my mother and my father, and how things turned out for them. “It’s nothing. Honestly it wasn’t really that important.”


Her face falls. “No, that look on your face isn’t nothing. Since when do you keep things from me?”


“I’m not keeping anything from you.” I’m just holding out for a while until I know we’re both on the same page. “Now come here.”


I sit up and put my mouth over her breast, sucking on her nipple and distracting her. When I move my mouth away, she’s panting and the light reflects in her eyes. Wrapping my hand around the back of her head, I steer her lips toward mine and thrust my cock inside her. She breathes fervently against my lips, and moments later we’ve both forgotten about the conversation.