I pushed down on my bulging suitcase, and when it refused to latch, I sat on it. I had finally decided to start packing three days after Nick had visited.
I had to get a move on, because whether or not I wanted to go, the situation was unpreventable.
Go by force? Or will? was basically what Nick was saying, though worded differently, in his dry, bossy manner.
It might not be force, but it certainly isn't will. I thought, rather angrily, as I slumped against my bedroom wall.
I had worked for S.H.I.E.L.D in my other "life", but before it was actually called S.H.I.E.L.D. Was that not enough? Of course not.
At least you'll be seeing Steve. I told myself. You can finally get over your procrastination and see him.
"Yeah, I might be seeing him, but not introducing myself as his best friend's sister. It'll be someone different. Agent Smith." I spoke aloud, then huffed. I wasn't on board with this whole deceit thing. It was Nick's damn idea.
I stood up, and dug in a pile on my desk for a few minutes before pulling out a piece of paper. It was an article, about Steve, the one Nick had shown me, about two years ago. That's why he had seemed so familiar when he came to my door a few days ago.
I stare at the paper, mesmerized.
Oh my gosh, Steve is alive... I feel the shock and adrenaline all over again. And the fear...the deep fear that was there, for some reason. I sigh. Now is not the time to address my confusing, immature feelings.
Got to remain strong, Elizabeth. You're an agent, remember?
I feel unsure. My agent lifestyle is a bit foggy, and my skills rusty.
I seem to have so many lifestyles that it's becoming hard to gauge who I am...
I lift my head as a knock at the door sounds. That better not be Nick, deciding to take me early. I think in annoyance, as I walk out of my room and open the door. Dana stands there, seeming surprised.
"Wow-it's you!"
I roll my eyes. "You did knock on my door, genius."
She strolls in, and I close the door.
"I thought you'd have moved or something, seeing you so badly want to drop out of everyone's lives."
"Dana!" I grit my teeth.
She looks at me innocently. "What? You put in your one-week notice at work, which has kinda left Karie scrambling, cause you were an important supervisor. You quit the college classes we are in together, and now you're-" She peers into my bedroom. "-packing?"
I shut my bedroom door, and lean against the door frame casually. "Got a new job. They offered housing."
"Oh my gosh, what kind of job?" She grabs my hands and pulls me down onto the couch. "Tell me all about it."
Suddenly she looks down at my hand, the one holding the newspaper. Damn! I forgot I was even holding it. I try to hide it, but too late. She grabs it. "Oh my gosh. This was the newspaper that freaked you out at the diner like, two years ago." She scans the paper, then looks up at me.
"I'm not leaving until I get answers. Real answers." She cocks an eyebrow and sits back, gazing at me expectantly.
"Uh-" I look down. Dana's the one who usually saves me in my stammering moments-but she's the one expecting the answer. She can't find out --what will I say...?
"Soooo....?" Dana's sitting across from me, waiting, while the blood pulses in my head like crazy.
"Dana, I'm going to work for the FBI, and um, I'm just doing a little research on superheroes." I smile innocently and grab the newspaper.
"Holy shit! You're going to work for the FBI, and yeah, I'm not convinced about the superhero part." She says all in one breath. "I still remember that day you fainted over this paper." She sharpens her statement with a jab towards the paper.
I shrug. "I couldn't believe that my favorite legendary superhero had come back to life. That's all there is to it."
"Uh-huh." Dana leans back a bit, a smile on her face as if we're exchanging schoolgirl secrets.
"Will the real, honest Gen please come out?"
Funny, if I were to be completely honest, "Gen" wouldn't exist. I thought, almost in amusement.
"She just did, Dana. I told you all there is to it."
My poker-face remains intact, while Dana just stares me down. I know she was trying to discern whether I was being honest or not. She seemed to surrender when she sighed.
"Even if you are lying, it's hell trying to get the truth out of you. I give up." Dana holds her hands up in surrender, then slaps them on my legs eagerly, causing me to jump. She laughs. "So, tell me about your agent experience. Why do they want you in the FBI?"
I stare at her blankly, trying to conjure some false past, and she misconstrues my silence. "Oh, right...agent stuff is top secret."
I smile and nod my head. "Yeah, not really the best topic to discuss. I'll tell you this much. I was trained as an agent in the past, then I took a break and started to work at the diner. The FBI recently came and told me they want me back."
I smiled. That was the first truth that had come off my tongue in a long time. It felt good.
"Oh my gosh, I wouldn't trade the life of an agent for a waitress! You astound me, Gen."
Dana shakes her head, and I just chuckle. "It's not all fun and games. More like danger and death."
"And maybe a hint of romance?" Dana offers, and I roll my eyes. "Nope. It's not your stereotype agent movie, Dana. Those are as fake as heck."
"Speaking of romance, have you ever even had a boyfriend?" She stretches the word "boyfriend" playfully, and I groan.
"Boys are assholes. And overrated." I stretch out on the couch and finger the hem of my shirt idly.
"While you're at it, let's not forget the cooties part." Dana says, in a mock snooty voice, and I laugh.
"Has one hurt you in the past or something?" Dana asks.
"No...quite the contrary, actually.
He made me a better person."
"Explain." Dana's eye glimmer with curiosity, and I look down at my lap, blushing at the thought of Steve.
"No." I answer, before I could say a word. "I have packing to finish."
"Let me help!" She hops off the couch and ambles into my room. I wonder, does she really want to help, or does she want to snoop? It's debatable.
I follow her into my room, and immediately my second suspicion is confirmed. She's already snooping.
Dana's studying the framed picture of Bucky and Steve together. The one where Bucky is smiling lightly and Steve is laughing, totally carefree.
"Wow, you are obsessed with this superhero. Who is this guy?" She points to Bucky, and I restrain myself from yelping ,"My brother!"
"Oh, it was his childhood best friend, that's all."
Oh no...he was so much more than that and you know it.
I push away my sentimental thoughts and start picking up the clothing I had laid out earlier for packing. I fold them neatly and place them in an open suitcase on my bed, trying to keep myself from crying as I think of my brother.
Thankfully, Dana asks no more questions, and actually does start helping.
Soon, we have all of my clothing packed neatly in suitcases.
"Thanks a bunch, Dana. Couldn't have done it without you." I am actually glad she came. After all her prying, she was a big help.
"No problem, girlie."
I smile and reach for a hug. She wraps her arms around me. "I'll miss you, hon."
"I'll miss you too, Dana." I feel a lump in my throat, and my eyes starting to wet. I sniffle.
"Miss Top-secret agent is crying? She's capable of emotion?" Dana asks, her voice dripping with mock surprise. She pulls away from the hug with an equally sad look on her face, though there is a hint of smirk.
I laugh a little and wipe my cheek. She laughs too, and pulls me in another hug.
"Don't be too agent-y to drop me a visit occasionally, okay?"
"No way." I answer. "You've been my friend ever since I started work at the diner. I'm not about to drop you because of a job change."
Dana smiles faintly. "Good."
She steps back. "I think I ought to be heading out."
"Visit again before I move officially."
"When will that be?" Dana asks, an eyebrow cocked.
"Saturday." I sigh, knowing that the day is quickly approaching. The day my life will be altered.
"That's soon." Dana echoes my thoughts, and I nod mutely.
"You excited?"
"Yeah, I guess you could say that." I half-smile.
"It's an adventure." She takes my wrists and squeezes them. I smile. Leave it up to Dana to make anything sound enticing.
With a kiss to my cheek, Dana walks out of my room and out the door.
"See you soon, Agent." She salutes before shutting my apartment door, and I laugh. "Bye. Thanks for your help."
The rest of the day passes in a whirl.
Before I know it, it's twelve in the morning, and I'm lying alone in my bed, the memories plaguing me. They're pulsing through my head, almost like a tornado, completely invincible. I used to be able to block them, but recently I've just stopped trying.
I like thinking of Steve. He's comforting to me, almost as much as Bucky. I used to try and block the memories because they hurt. But they don't hurt as much, ever since I've found out that Steve is alive. But the thoughts of Bucky still hurt. And the thoughts of Peggy. I've never found out for sure of Peggy is alive or not. I just didn't want to set myself up for more pain. I think of her often, though. She was a wonderful and admirable friend...

I'm sitting in my office, waiting for Peggy. We haven't had time to talk in forever, so I finally caught her as she walked by me in the hall after a meeting. I told her to meet me in an hour in my office.
I've prepared two cups of English tea, the way she likes them, and am sitting here, waiting for my best friend.
I'm watching the steam curl from the mugs with an anomalous amount of interest, when Peggy bursts in. I practically jump out of my chair, as she slams the door shut. Who got her bloomers in a bunch?
I think to myself as she drops heavily into the chair opposite my desk.
"He still doesn't know a bloody thing about women!" Peggy fumes.
I remain silent for a few moments, studying her features. Peggy's jaw is jutted angrily, her lips pursed tightly. Her eyes are gazing off into the distance, as if replaying something before her. Her arms are crossed tightly against her crisp uniform.
"Peggy? What's the matter?"
"I'd like to sock that woman so badly...no! I'd like to punch him more!"
I'm confused. I know what woman she is probably referring to. Private Lorraine is a snarky, snooty and rude girl who works here. I nor Peggy have ever liked her. But who is "him" that she referred to?
"What are you talking about?" I ask, as she silently fumes.
"Steve!" She practically roars, and I'm jumped practically out of my skin for the second time. "I found Steve and Private Lorraine lip-locked just a few minutes ago!"
My gut twisted. He was going for her? Out of all the girls...
"How the hell did this all happen?" I ask Peggy.
"Quite easily." She snaps. "He wanted to be a soldier, now he is one."
After Peggy rants a bit more and let's off some steam, I get her to tell me the whole story. Basically, she walked in on Steve and Private Lorraine's making out session. And after, he even tried to make excuses. I'm pulled into Peggy's story, my heart twisting painfully the whole time, and by the end, I want to strangle that damn slut. And Steve.
"That woman would try to seduce Adolf Hitler himself." I growl.
Peggy sits back in the chair, hand on her temple, and sighs. "One minute I think I have something with him, and the next he's making out with her." She spits out the last word. I feel her pain, literally. I love Steve too. She just doesn't know it.
"Well..." I exhale and slump in my chair. "Who needs those type of guys anyway?" I try to comfort Peggy, but from the look on her face, I failed miserably.
"Come on, Peggy. Forget about it! Relax! You're here for you and me to chat like old times, and have fun!"
Peggy's face brightens a bit, and I pull her out of her chair.
"Come on, loosen up."
A slow smile spreads across her face, and I pull out my record player. I start playing some upbeat waltz music.
"May I, milady?" I bow deeply in front of Peggy, and she giggles.
"Of course." She extends her hand, and I take it, trying to keep a serious face intact. I twirl her around, and we dance, she much more gracefully than I.
"You always know how to calm me down, Beth." She smiles that beautiful smile of hers, and I grin.
"I know, Pegster."
She throws back her head in a laugh and I dip her dramatically, her head inches from the floor. Peggy gasps, then clutches a hand at her heart. "You really are the most dashing dancer, my lord." She says in a high-pitched exaggeration of her English accent.
I snort in laughter, then pull her back up. "Only for worthy maidens like you, Ms. Carter."
We waltz around the room once more, in rhythm to the music, laughing our heads off. I'm preparing to do another twirl when the office door opens.
Peggy and I freeze mid-waltz, and turn to see Colonel Phillips himself at the door. He opens him mouth to say something, probably snide, then thinks better of it. Instead, all he says is, "Agent Carter, Agent Barnes, they'd like you in the weapons department."
Peggy's hand quickly drop to her side, and she nods briskly. "Yes, Colonel."
I nod too, and notice that Peggy's face is as red as her lipstick. Mine must be too. I quickly stop my record player, then rush back to Peggy's side.
We both hurry past Phillips, and as soon as he's out of earshot, I almost collapse in laughter.
"That was humiliating!" Peggy tries to remain serious and professional, but before long, we are both almost dying of laughter.
"It was hilarious!" My laughter dies down, and so does hers.
"Alright, we need to go to the weapons department." Peggy tries to redirect our focus, as I try to regain my composure.
We head down the hall, and she opens the large door that leads to the weapons room.
As we walked in, Peggy stiffened. I immediately knew why. Howard and Steve stood in the middle of the room, talking. Steve looked very handsome in full uniform--no wonder the secretary had wanted to get her lips on him. I do too. Stop it, Beth. She wants to get her lips on anyone and you're a respectable agent--not some floozy.
I put a comforting hand on Peggy's shoulder, and she straightened, confidently walking towards the two. I followed after her.
"You quite finished, Mr. Stark?" Peggy asks as we get closer.
"I'm sure the Captain has some unfinished business." She says crisply.
I half-smile. Peggy-1, Steve- a big fat 0.
Steve looks at Peggy, then to me hopefully, probably looking for some help. I cross my arms and frown. No way, buddy. You made your bed, now you're sleeping in it.
"What do you think?" Steve grins hopefully at us and holds up a round, metal shield-looking thing. I've never seen the likes of it, and I've been in this weapon room dozens of times. Peggy glances at it, as she picks up a gun from a nearby table. We all duck as she fires it, three times at the shield.
All three bullets bounce right off, without a mark. I look from Peggy to Steve, then to Howard. Steve and Howard are staring in awe of Peggy, and I stifle a laugh. You don't mess with her!
Peggy lowers the gun and exhales softly. "Yes, I think it works." She places the gun back on the table.
With that, she walks past Steve and Howard, with one last searing glance at Steve. I look again at Steve, then at Howard, who are still staring after her in awe. Without another backwards glance, I dart after Peggy.
"That was amazing." I tell her as I catch up.
Her poker face remains intact. "Boys need to learn their lesson."
"You don't mess with an agent. Especially Agent Carter." I say in a high-pitched English accent, and she laughs, her serious face turning back to normal.
"Oh, Beth. What would I do without you?"
I smile widely. "I could say the same
of you."
And with that, we strolled off together, arm in arm, ready to face any mission thrown at us. Together.