Hwan's hands froze on the wheels as he gasped, eyes widening in fear as his heart dropped. He felt like he couldn't breathe. When his eyes met with Joo-Won's reddened eyes, he wanted to cry. As Hwan looked more carefully, he noticed the now greenish-purple marks on Joo-Won's neck were bigger than what he thought, which made him even more horrified.

Hwan silently got closer to Joo-Won and got in front of the couch before he pushed the brakes of the wheelchair. As Joo-Won slowly followed him with his eyes, they started to fill with tears as his chin quivered a little. Hwan carefully looked at his neck again. It was covered with scratches and some red spots.

A small sob from Joo-Won made Hwan quickly lift his head and look at his face. His tears were already dripping from his cheeks, he was trying so hard to hold himself but it was too hard.

When Joo-Won couldn't stand still anymore, he just dropped himself to the ground on his knees, which caused everyone to panic for a second. Xander and Kyong ran up to the couch as Hwan just stared at Joo-Won with his widened, tearful eyes.

In silence, Hwan held his hands and placed one of Joo-Won's hands on his own chest. Between his sobs, Joo-Won was clearing his throat because it was already hard for him to breathe, and crying was making it worse.

"I know. I know this is so hard, but you need to calm down." Hwan started to caress Joo-Won's hair as he looked into his eyes. "I'm here, look." Hwan slightly pressed his hand to his chest. "I'm here."

Joo-Won could feel Hwan's rapid heartbeat. He nodded before turning his head away and coughed. His face was bright red and was boiling as he was forcing himself to stop his coughs. Hwan looked at Kyong and signaled him to bring a glass of water, which he quickly did. After his coughs calmed down a little, Hwan helped Joo-Won take a sip of it and put it on the coffee table in front of the L-shaped couch.

Joo-Won looked at Hwan's eyes and shoot him a look as a thank you, to which Hwan responded with a small nod with a sad smile.

Joo-Won was trying his best not to cry, while Hwan continued to caress his hair and held his hand on his chest as Xander came beside them and kneeled. "Joo-Won do you want to eat something..?"

Hwan shook his head as an answer for him. "It will be hard for him right now. It would be better if he sticks with water for now. Then we can cook something soft. Soup might be better."

Xander nodded and went to the kitchen to talk with Kyong. While walking there, he felt chills going down his spine as he realized the possibility of Hwan knowing what to do in this situation because he went through it before.

"Did-" Joo-Won's words were cut off by coughs.

"Take it easy." Hwan took the glass again and helped him to drink it after he calmed down a little.

Joo-Won nodded and cleared his throat again before trying to talk. "Did you...?"

Understanding what he meant didn't take too long. Hwan responded with a small nod after a few seconds that passed in silence between them. "It doesn't matter." He tried to brush off the topic, but Joo-Won's slightly worried looks because of the mystery made him sigh. The left side of his lip curved up and formed a small smile that flashed. "Those memories are probably the ones I wish to not remember the most. At first, I didn't know what to do. Then I got used to it."

Saying it out loud made Hwan's heart stop for a second. Getting used to it? But how, and why... Was it even normal for let alone a child, a human being to go through something like this? And get used to it? Why were they doing this to their children?

'You are no longer in that room anymore Hwan. You are free. And this is not about you now. Joo-Won needs you.' Hwan quickly shook his head to get himself together. "Are you feeling any better?"

His tiny nod made Hwan feel a little bit relieved, but just a little. He smiled and put one of Joo-Won's hands to his cheek. A small smile flashed on Joo-Won's exhausted face as he silently caressed his cheek with his thumb, making Hwan get lost in his eyes again and again.

He won't going to lie, the first time they met, Hwan just hoped he would never see his annoying face again. But when he saw Joo-Won's terrified expression seconds before running away, he couldn't help but get curious even though he couldn't express it at that moment. Hwan thought about what happened all night, which kind of scared him because it was the first time something like that happened and also the first time he thought about someone else that much.

'Why was I acting like that while Joo-Won just tried to protect me? Why did I even wander off like that even though I had a wound that urgently needed to get treated? What did I do to make him so scared of me?'

These questions kept Hwan wandering for hours and days until Joo-Won suddenly came back again. Hwan wanted to be nicer this time but seeing a total stranger in his room just made him scared and uncomfortable, uncomfortable enough to shoo Kyong away like that.

Then Joo-Won started to come back again, and again, and again. Hwan really had no clue about when he started to enjoy his friendship or more importantly, when he started to like Joo-Won. But he did know when he realize his feelings towards Joo-Won, which was the day he took Hwan to the garden to have a picnic. It might sound weird, but it was the first time someone other than a person who was getting paid to take care of him was this thoughtful towards Hwan. He knew Joo-Won was aware that he was constantly looking outside, and Hwan knew Joo-Won could have easily planned the picnic in his hospital room.

But he didn't.

He wanted to show Hwan the outside, the unknown part of the huge garden. The green grass, colorful and diverse flowers, pretty butterflies and ladybugs, tall trees,... It had been ages since he saw many of those things at the same place same time. Even though the scenery was pretty overwhelming and it took him days to sink everything in, Hwan couldn't be more grateful.

To think about it, Hwan had accomplished so many things in life thanks to Joo-Won. For example, the day he went to his house.

"Hey." Joo-Won's smile made Hwan slip out of his thoughts and look at his face with a smile back. "What are you thinking?"

The fact that he could finish his sentence without any coughing sessions made Hwan way more relieved than he was before. His voice was still very hoarse, and it was clear that he was struggling, but it didn't matter to Joo-Won.

Hwan caressed his cheek with his thumb and stared into his eyes. "Nothing. Just thinking about the moments you really helped me change."

Joo-Won lifted his eyebrows a little to show his surprise. "I did?"

"Of course you did." Hwan messed his hair a little.

"Like when?" He only needed to clear his throat one time, and he was slowly going back to his cheeky version. Thankfully.

"Okay... for example... The day I came to your house. I'm not going to lie, I was scared to death when Kyong suggested getting me out of the hospital because I was worried. Words were not even enough to describe how terrified I was at that moment. But, the second I got out of there and felt the cold breeze of autumn on my face, I was just... mesmerized." Hwan could feel his eyes burning just by the thought of it. He stopped for a few seconds and rapidly looked around to calm himself down. When he felt calmer, he sighed and continued to caress his cheek. "It sounds like a typical daily activity right? Getting out, feeling the air, walking past a tree and touching the dried, brownish leaves on the ground,... It had been years since I last touched a dried leaf, probably eight years since I got out like that." Hwan could feel a tear streaming down his cheek, which he quickly wiped. "When Kyong was pushing my wheelchair, I glanced at him, to see if he was as shocked as me. And that was when I realized it was not even a memorable second for him. It was probably as normal as breathing or blinking, but to me, it was something very new. That was also when I realized, that people take so many things for granted that they never realize nearly everything they do in their daily lives is a new adventure for some others, including me." He smiled lightly. "If I haven't met you, I would never be this strong to have the guts to do something like that. Actually, let alone doing it, I couldn't even find the courage to think about it."

When Hwan looked at his face, he realized he was already crying. But actually, it was not only him, but Xander and Kyong in the kitchen too?!

Kyong quickly looked at them when he saw Hwan was looking at him. "What?! This is a small room, okay? We couldn't help but hear it!" He sniffed and wiped his tears with his sleeves before Xander held his wrist to prevent him from making his clothes dirty. He sobbed and laughed while picking a piece of napkin from the table and gently wiping Kyong's tears. He even blew his nose. After throwing the paper away, Xander planted a small kiss on the tears on Kyong's face, which made him tear up even more so that he could get more kisses.

Gosh... Sometimes the cuteness was too much.

Hwan turned back to Joo-Won and wiped his tears, well, couldn't actually. The second Hwan lifted his arm to wipe them, he was squeezed between Joo-Won's giant arms. Hwan hugged him back while chuckling, being extra careful not to get closer to his neck. After he backed away, he placed both of his hands on Hwan's cheeks and silently caressed his cheeks with his thumbs, wiping the tears Hwan tried so hard not to reveal.

Then, he slowly reached to Hwan. When he realized what was going to happen, Hwan closed his eyes as he placed his hands on top of his. Kyong and Xander widened their eyes in excitement as Joo-Won leaned and kissed him on the lips. After a few seconds, he backed his head away and looked at Hwan. Hwan smiled as he sniffed and planted long kisses on his palm.

Joo-Won smiled in sadness and started to slowly talk. "I will show you all the beauties of the outside, I promise. From playing with the dried leaves in autumn to having a hot cup of hot chocolate in winter. From picking up flowers in spring to feeling the cold sea in summer,... I will be beside you through all. I promise." He needed to clear his throat now and then, and he talked extra slowly to prevent another cough attack.

Hwan's eyes started to tear up again when Joo-Won finished. The only thing that was going through his mind while looking at Joo-Won's eyes that were shining with enthusiasm was... what did he do to deserve him...

____________________________________

'...That was also when I realized, that people take so many things for granted that nearly everything they do in their daily lives is a new adventure for some others...'

I believe through Covid, everyone had the time that they just got hit by the realization of this. While going out and doing regular stuff, such as meeting up with friends or going to study, were extremely normal things to us, in lockdown they turned into things that we yearn for.

I was not the type who liked to go out, but I was out every day because it was my exam year and I had a study course I needed to go to. Hopping to a train after my school and going to where my course was, walking down the crowded streets with some of my friends while talking and laughing, sometimes grabbing a hot cup of coffee or some snacks on the way there,... These were just my daily do's I never cared. But when the lockdown started, they became activities that I cannot even imagine doing anymore.

Days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months until I first got out of the house for the first time since the lockdown started. It was I think 65 days or something like that since Covid. We needed to get our books from school since we were about to graduate and my twin suggested us to go too. My family started to worry about me because I didn't even open the curtains in my room for more than a month and because I was starting to find myself more, I was constantly having anxiety and gender dysphoria attacks. I'm not going to lie, the second I slightly opened my window and felt the spring/summer wind on my hand, my eyes instantly teared up. It was a very familiar, yet a very new feeling for me. Looking at the green grass, the sun that was shining on the calm sea, colorful flowers,...

I never thought I would get this excited on the way to school!
Even though I did get out multiple times after that, I still cannot shake off the feeling I encountered that day, which made me start to value everything more.

And I really hope from the bottom of my heart that you will also value and cherish the simple things in your life. Because there is no guarantee that those things will stay being things you can easily access anytime you want.