Hwan looked around while trying to contain his calmness. He knew this was a dream, he had been seeing them ever since he lost the majority of his memories. It was the same thing every time: He got out of the disgusting bed and walked around the dark room until he woke up for real. Usually, it was, silent, but rarely, he heard some noises he doesn't remember who they belong to. Even though it had been more than five years, he was always as scared as he first started to have these nightmares, he was just able to hide his emotions better now that he was grown up. Even though nothing tterrifying happened in these nightmares, something about the room was making Hwan feel extremely uncomfortable and overwhelmed.

He slowly got up and took a deep breath before taking a step. His dreams, or in this case, his nightmares, were the only place he was able to walk, at least he hoped for now. He looked back at the dirty and worn-out bed on the ground, then reached for the equally worn-out blanket. It probably used to be red or something, but now it was more like a grayish-pinkish color. Some places of it were torn and it was covered in dust.

Hwan cleared his throat when he placed the blanket on his shoulders since he got cold. He wanted to look around the room, but it was so dark he could barely see his next step. As he reached the wall in hopes of finding a light switch, something happened.

Something that never happened before.

26.09

Joo-Won widened his eyes as he literally slapped his hand to his mouth. "Are you serious? He really tried to do that???"

Xander nodded frantically. It was probably the first time he was feeling like that. Both excited and unbelievably terrified. "Yes! When he opened his arms I was literally about to shit my pants!"

Joo-Won started to laugh when he said it. "Dude I would too! I mean, a hug? Out of nowhere?" Then smirked while moving his eyebrows up and down.  "Wait... A hug? Out of nowhere??" He laughed as Xander sighed, his excited expression turning into an annoyed one. Then, Joo-Won continued. "He is straight-up falling for you if you ask me."

Xander rolled his eyes. "Again? Well, thank God I didn't ask you." He looked around his room. "Joo-Won, he is probably just a touchy person. You saw how friendly he was too. Don't assume everything."

Joo-Won pouted and huffed. "You are no fun."

As he got up from Xander's bed, he got up too and hit his arm. "Nah you're just too lonely."

"Hey!" Joo-Won hit his arm back as Xander tried to run away from him, laughing and showing his middle finger as he was running out of the room. Just as Joo-Won was about to catch him, his phone started to ring. He sighed and got his phone while still yelling behind Xander's back, but stopped when he saw who was calling. "Kyong? Hi, how are you?"

Joo-Won looked at the end of the hall and saw Xander's head peeking through the corner. "Is that Kyong?"

Joo-Won nodded and signaled him to come, which he silently did.

"Hi Joo-Won! I wanted to talk to you about something." Kyong's cheerful voice was enough to make both Joo-Won and Xander smile.

"Yeah, of course, what's up?"

"Not much, just um... Something interesting."

Joo-Won knitted his eyebrows in curiosity.

"What's going on?" Xander said since Joo-Won took the phone on speaker for him to hear it too.

From the other end of the phone, Kyong smiled. He could feel his heart getting a bit faster than usual when he heard Xander's voice, but he was sure it was nothing. He hoped. "Oh Xan! How are you!"

"I'm good, and you?"

"Good good. As I was saying, something interesting happened."

Joo-Won nodded even though he knew Kyong couldn't see it. "I'm all ears."

"Uh... A patient asked about you, Joo-Won."

Xander looked at him, just as surprised as he was. "A patient?" They both said at the same time.

"Yes. It was... Hwan, actually."

Joo-Won's eyes grew bigger as Xander was asking who Hwan was.

"Did he ask about me? Wait, does that mean he was thinking about me? Oh shit what to do... Okay okay, calm down Joo-Won, calm the fuck down!"

"Joo-Won?"

"Huh!" Joo-Won quickly turned to Xander, which made him startle.

"The fuck? I asked when did you meet with this Hwan guy, chill."

"Oh... It's a long story. What did he ask about me Kyong?" he said, not being able to hold his excitement.

"He said 'How the fuck he found out where my room is' and honestly, I wonder what made him ask this." The slight anger in the tone of his voice made Joo-Won feel ashamed.

"Uh... Look why don't we come over so I can tell the story from the beginning? How does it sound?"

"I'm waiting." He closed the phone to their face, which honestly surprised them a bit. But he was right too, he could get into serious trouble because he was the one Joo-Won learned Hwan's room number from.

"What the fuck did you do Joo-Won? Why did Kyong sound like that?"

"I will explain everything there okay? Let's go."

(...)

After getting there and basically telling them everything that happened, Kyong looked way calmer. He sighed in relief when he understood Joo-Won didn't do anything that could harm Hwan or trouble him. Then, he looked at Joo-Won with a surprised face. "Wait you said he talked to you? That's weird, he hates strangers."

Joo-Won was not really sure if that was 'talking' but yeah. "Yeah, that is crystal clear." He said with a smile, "It was hard but I finally managed to make him say his name. So I think it's a success?"

"It surely is." Kyong smiled when Xander said it with a smirk. "So, what are you gonna do now?"

"Should I... do something?" Joo-Won said with a curious face.

"Actually, I think you should talk to that boy again. Even better, apologize."

Joo-Won turned to Xander. "To Hwan? Why?"

"I don't know, maybe because you went to his room without knowing each other and made him probably feel, hm I wanna say,... uncomfortable?"

"... Fucking dumbass... How did I not think about that? I probably look like a stalker or something."

"Yeah, you are right..."

"He is in his room actually, do you want me to call and inform him?"

Joo-Won nodded silently as Kyong picked up his phone and explained it to Hwan.

After he closed it, he turned to the two. "He said it was okay for you to go."

Joo-Won smiled, surprised a little bit as well. He was not expecting it actually. "So... I will go then. Are you guys here?"

Both of them nodded with a smile. Joo-Won smiled as well and messed Xander's hair before getting out and going to Hwan's room.

When he reached there, Joo-Won saw that the door was open. He slowly got inside, knocking again just in case even though the door was open. Hwan just hummed again, signaling him to come inside. Joo-Won got in and watched him looking outside of the window, not aware that he was standing in front of his hospital bed. "Hi?"

Hwan turned his head to Joo-Won and gave a little nod as a response. He was still a bit shaken from his recent nightmare, but of course he was not going to tell this to anyone.

A small smile formed on Joo-Won's face while he was walking to the chair that was beside his bed. "How are you feeling?"

Hwan turned his head to Joo-Won and shrugged as he sat down. "Same."

"Any pain? Burnt? Wounds?"

He shook his head as no with a tiny, really tiny, smi-

"SMILE?"

"Are you aware of how you look with a smile?" Joo-Won said suddenly, not being able to hold his words.

Hwan looked confused, not able to understand if the boy in front of him was messing with him or not.

Joo-Won was still in awe. "No I'm serious, you looked very attractive. Every woman would fall for it!"

Aaaaand that frown was back again... "I'm gay," Hwan said suddenly, his face showing no emotion, only his knitted eyebrows.

Joo-Won blinked a couple of times with his smile frozen on his face because of this sudden new information. "O-oh really? And... I am actually bisexual."

Hwan looked a bit surprised, he turned his upper body towards him. "Really?" It was probably the first time he met someone that was similar to him in this way, and that's why he was not able to suppress his surprise.

Joo-Won nodded proudly. It was not a government secret, after all, he was pretty open about these things. But he was not expecting Hwan to be too, because... Actually, he didn't know anything about him. 

Ah, there it was, that tiny smile that happened in a flash again. Joo-Won smiled happily in a response to his miniature smile.

"So, Joo-Won, how did you find my room?"

"He remembers my name?..." Joo-Won thought to himself in awe but quickly pulled himself together. He fixed his position and cleared his throat. "Okay, first of all, that was probably the longest thing you had ever said to me, I can cry right now. Uh, secondly, it was actually pure luck. Me and my brother came here to meet up with Kyong that day, and he asked us if we could wait outside of the room. I didn't know he was taking care of you and we were standing there too long, so I just looked inside to see if he was finished or not. Then walla, the mysterious patient was you!" He said with a smile as Hwan nodded. "And you?" He looked at him excitedly.

Hwan blinked a couple of times. "Me?"

"Yeah! How did you feel when you saw me again?" Joo-Won asked again while waiting for an answer with a smile.

"I was annoyed."

Silence.

"Aand...?" Joo-Won said, in hopes of getting something positive while drum rolls echoed in his mind.

"That's it. I was annoyed. Like, really, really annoyed."

Joo-Won pouted and dropped his hands on the bed. His actions made Hwan show his tiny smile again, which made Joo-Won chuckle.

"I could just melt on the floor..."

"Yeah, you really do look attractive with that smile. You should smile more, it really suits you."

Hwan shrugged again, aaaand back to his annoyed face.

"Ahaha... Fuck."

"Why?"

Joo-Won talked without thinking, which was a trait of his that he wished to change soon and was working on it. "Because life is not that fucked up?" Well, his efforts were clearly useless.

Hwan frowned, looking clueless about what he said.

"I mean, there are so many good things in life too, but you seem to focus only on the negative ones. If you could open your eyes a little bit more-" Joo-Won quickly stopped when he saw the expression on Hwan's face. Eyebrows knitted, gritting his teeth and glaring at him.

Which stands for, 'You fucked up. Like, really bad.'

"God... Why did I even open my mouth in the beginning?.."

"I am here since I was 17. I see these nurses more than I see my own reflection. All those years, I have been trying to walk by myself. And guess what? I can't even take one single fucking step!" When his voice got louder for a second, Joo-Won leaned back in shock and a little horror. "So don't come here and tell me the beauties of life, got it?" Joo-Won looked down to the floor, trying hard to not cry while Hwan leaned forward. "I bet you wait for every opportunity to tell everyone about how good life is while you probably live a picture-perfect life. I bet the worst thing you went through was having a bad haircut or some shit."

Suddenly, Joo-Won's eyes widened a bit. He wanted to leap to his feet and scream at his face how untrue what he said was. He wanted to tell him what he actually went through for years, the things that he, Xander, and their mother had to go through because of that monster his DNA results say his 'father', and most importantly, what happened to Yukio...

But he couldn't do anything. He just stayed in silence as a single tear dropped to the floor from his eyes. He gulped silently. He hated to cry, but not surprisingly, it was the first response he gave whenever something made him go back to the past. 

When he noticed that the silence was still going on, Hwan looked at Joo-Won from the corner of his eye. He felt a small amount of regret while his facial expressions softened. "I-"

Joo-Won quickly sniffed and fixed his posture, kinda surprising Hwan with his sudden movement. "Maybe I should go."

Hwan froze for a split second, then he huffed and turned his head to the window. "Yeah. You should."

Silence fell again as Joo-Won was getting up and fixing the chair. "I'm sorry... I just liked to see you smile, but it was too insensitive for me to talk like that. I didn't mean any harm. Sorry again..."

Hwan didn't answer him at first, but just like the last time, he made a small noise to get Joo-Won's attention just as he was about to get out. Joo-Won turned to him, Hwan looked slightly uncomfortable. He was playing with the sheet of the bed, his eyes wandering around the room before looking at the younger boy once again.

When their eyes met, Joo-Won swear he saw guilt on his face for a split second before he looked around again. "Sorry. That was random."

When he looked at Joo-Won again and their eyes met, Joo-Won smiled softly. But this time, it was Joo-Won who stayed silent and just walked away.