Having a joint Physical Education class was the most gruesome of all anguish.

I swiped the back of my hand against my forehead, ignoring the droplets of perspiration that it had collected. The changing rooms were designed to be used in two shifts, with the first half of girls changing their clothes in the little cubicles while the other half started their stretches, however with the joint Phys. Ed. Class, the shift system had been long abandoned. The cluster of girls were currently coexisting in a space that was six feet too small to store the rumours, secrets and mindless chatter that was being circulated, trapped in the confining space.

I sighed as I looked at the girls around me, busy within their own circle of friends, effortless laughter ever so often spilling from their lips. Breanna was surrounded by girls from her dance team, as she usually was as of late. They were pointing at a girl with freckles splattered across her face, as if thrown on at a moment's notice.

Jenny.

Jenny ducked her head and went towards her locker, rummaging through her mini camo duffel bag to distract herself from the obvious snickers that were directed towards her. My eyes trailed along her gym shorts that were two sizes to baggy on her petite frame, presumably the target of the whispers and jeers.

My mind reeled; Jenny was someone who had been seemingly untouched by our society. She still possessed the kid-like joy that she used to light up a room when needed, I learnt. I barely knew her, but I felt a spark of possessiveness filter throughout my body, a need to protect her.

Clutching my uniform to my chest, I walked towards my locker to store it, ignoring the pangs of guilt deep within my stomach. I was one of them – I had been one of them. How many times had I cast stones at undeserving fragile appearances?

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, was I one of them? Or was I too far excluded?

While caught up in my own personal turmoil, I noticed Serena ushering Jenny out of the changing room, muttering words of encouragement to the girl who had her head hung low, barely supported by her drooping shoulders.

There was nothing I could have done. Nothing I could have said that would have landed me anywhere short of hypocritical. In retrospect, maybe I should have defended Jenny, but who's to say that I hadn't inflicted the exact same level of anguish on her at one point in our lives?

Volleyball wasn't as bad it could have been. I was always able to learn sports and play to the best of my abilities, though I had never excelled in any. They never held my interest long enough aside from wanting to prove a point to the other team, and after I had, I quickly grew bored of the sport.

Lauren had never shown up for class, leaving me mildly uncomfortable as I was forced to plaster on a false smile to converse with others whose facial expression and level of discomfort mirrored my own. Jenny, I noticed had spent the remainder of class avoiding my eyes, or everyone besides Serena's for the matter, keeping her head either plastered to the floor or her eyes gazing off into the distance.

*****

Lunch had gone by as quickly as it came, leaving nothing but an empty Styrofoam cup and a crumpled up sandwich wrapper as its only proof of existence. I spent the entirety of my lunch hour off campus, revisiting the same café that Finn had taken me too, basking in the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. It had been a lot more crowded than when we had first went, leaving me with nothing to do except scroll through social media to avoid looking like the social pariah I had recently become.

I hadn't posted much on my social media besides a few off-handed re-tweets during the last few weeks. I usually updated photos to my Instagram once or twice per week, during the peak hours to maximize the number of likes. Even disregarding this, I managed to always maintain a steady three to four hundred likes per photo. My mind whizzed around the possibility of posting a photo, would the number of likes drop? Or would they remain the same? A sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach formed, gnawing at my self-esteem, making cracks and dents through the already broken and taped together pieces.

Instead of individual desks like most classrooms, the Home Economics room had elongated slabs of speckled grey granite, accompanied by backless stools of varying heights. Finn dragged a stool from one of the counters up front to the teacher's desk. His lanky frame bunglingly folded the lower half of his body onto the stool, as his shoulders stiffened to prevent him from leaning into the void where a back rest should have been. It was the first time I'd seen him sans grace.

Mrs. Weathers sauntered into the class not long after Finn had unceremoniously sat down, and he rolled his eyes as he came to the realization that he, as well as the rest of the class had to stand to greet the teacher. As we stood, my phone sprung to life with an incoming message notification, and I glanced at the screen.

Laur, 1:03 pm: Home today, sorry x

Lauren's message came a few hours too late and her recent absence was becoming increasingly disturbing. Sporadically missing school was more of Breanna's habit than Lauren's and my mind whirled through the possible reasons hidden between her three words. I sent her a short text message expressing my concern in reply. A few seconds after, her reply came in the timely Lauren fashion:

Laur, 1:05 pm: Yeah don't worry about it, I'm fine. I'll tell you about it when next I see you x

"Instead of me giving you a recipe and tutorial, we're going to do something a bit different." Mrs. Weathers clapped her hands excitedly, her exuberant personality shining through. She was way too dedicated for a Home Ec. Teacher, and she often found ways of spicing up her classes, Mary Beth had told us.

Lauren and Breanna had both taken their mandatory year of Home Economics in year one. It had been a catalyst for our friendship, where Lauren introduced me to Breanna, and not long after our title as the dynamic trio fused. I had regrettably decided on ensuring that I secured a spot for my chosen electives, which I later realized was futile, as my elective classes were of the least popular variety and had never filled up. It was an oxymoron, choosing to pursue Modern Studies and Social Sciences, as despite choosing the least attractive subjects, I climbed the highschool popularity ladder.

"You will work in pairs, but I'll spare both you and I the heartache of assigning your partners," Mrs. Weathers started, and I visibly blanched as I realized that there was an even number of students within the room, none of which I no longer spoke to. There was a buzz of excitement as persons began claiming their friends, and I glanced around the room to consider which of my unlucky classmates would be without a partner and forced to be paired with me.

I hadn't paid much attention to the persons in my class before, and only then did I realize that it was a joint class with third years. My eyes skimmed over vaguely familiar faces, and my heart hammered as my eyes locked on the backs of Jared and Julie. I had forgotten that like me, Jared had taken his electives early and was forced to complete Home Ec. in our final year. My lips curled I disgust as they seemed to move in pairs – I couldn't seem to find one without the other.

I forced my eyes away and noticed some members of the Website Club. How many classes had I shared with them and hadn't known?

Andria noticed my stare, and cocked her head to the side inquisitively, as she purposefully scrutinized me. I quickly averted my eyes and forced myself to look forward.

"Hey," the stool to my right scraped against the tiled floors, alerting me of someone's presence.

"Hey," I replied after a moment's hesitation.

"Would you mind being my partner?" I glanced at Andria as she carelessly plopped onto the stool beside me.

"I- uh, sure," I replied. "Why aren't you with your friends?" I asked bewildered.

"Well, it was supposed to be the four of us, but as you can probably tell-" she paused, gesturing towards Julie and Jared, "- it didn't work out that way."

"So Serena and James chose to partner up, huh?" I concluded.

"Yeah, well, I sorta told them that they could," she finished, shrugging her shoulders and refocusing her attention on Mrs. Weathers.

"Does everyone have a partner?" Mrs. Weathers inquired. After forcing persons who were in similar positions as Andria to pair up, she continued, "Finnegan dear, would you mind passing a list around so I can document the pairs please?" Finn, who had been absentmindedly flipping through a cook book complied, dropping a sheet of paper on the nearest desk and returned to his previous position, having left the cook book long abandoned.

"This project will be graded. Seeing as you've already learnt the basic theoretical knowledge of fine dining, food composition and the basics of a healthy lifestyle, I want you to apply your knowledge by composing a breakfast plan, which you and your partner would be responsible for re-creating three weeks from now."

A third year student raised his hand, "But if you're not giving us the recipes, how will we know what to do?" he asked incredulously.

"You'll gather all research from whichever source you choose. I trust that you will refer to your notes on how to prepare a meal for a balanced diet as you will be expected to utilise all that you have previously learnt," Mrs. Weathers continued while having Finn distribute small information packets, "Further details will be in these packets, please review them for the rest of this period and the next, and if they are any questions, feel free to ask when I return."

Mrs. Weathers made her leave, as every other week our Home Ec. periods clashed with her bi-monthly department meeting. Finn quickly switched seats, transferring from the backless stool to Mrs. Weathers' leather office chair.

"You don't really want to actually read through this now, do you?" Andria asked incredulously. I refrained from telling her that it was all I had to do, and if we didn't, I'd resume my robotic routine of mindlessly scroll through my phone, avoiding the chatter around me.

"Of course not," I plastered a smile onto my face, allowing myself to exude a carefree aura. She glanced at me momentarily, yet we made eye contact for a second too long, and I saw that she was attempting to see through the cracks in my unsteady barrier. She stopped as soon as she started, blowing a breath of resignation and bidding me a farewell as she returned to her friends.

My shoulders dropped on their own accord, and I slouched over the granite countertops. I unlocked my phone, but soon tired of the repeated posts that no longer held my interest. My eyes skimmed the class, where persons pulled their stools closer to their friends and spoke animatedly. Jared and Julie never joined the crew from the Website team, but they were joined by a handful of Jared's teammates and friends.

Finn had begun grading underclassmen's bi-monthly exams and I studied as he meticulously guided the pen to correct the exams, eyes flickering between the answer sheet provided and the student's paper. He was teacher's aide in two of my classes, three if you counted being the monitor of the Website club. He seemed to be a permanent in my life, as his schedule linked with mine frequently, yet I knew little to nothing about him. It was for the best I assumed, as the little I did know about him left me with a myriad of unanswered questions.

A feeling of exhaustion hung over me; tired of feeling excluded, tired of being unsure and tired of the secrecy that surrounded Finn. There was not much that I could do to repair the first two, so I decided to start with the latter. I pushed my stool to the side and walked towards the front desk.

"Do you mind if I help?" I asked, already planting myself on the stool beside the desk, leaving no room for a reply.

Finn glanced at me calculatedly, and I was more comfortable with untrusting look in his eyes than the inquisitive one in Andria's. He studied me, sensing my determination and after a brief moment, he reluctantly nodded. He slid the answer sheet closer to the centre of the desk that stood between us, and I grabbed a student's exam and began grading silently.

I wasn't completely sure of what I would do, but I was determined to get answers from Finn sooner or later.

*****

Author's Note:

hello my lovelies! here's an update for ya. please don't forget to drop or vote or comment telling me how you feel about this chapter- your feedback is always appreciated.

see ya soon, 

gabrielle xx