Upstate New York, USA

Fall 2015

Her mom had been right. As had Natasha. And Captain Rogers.

Nina wasn't wholly satisfied with Avenger training.

As much as she hated to admit to herself, she was beginning to wonder if she'd made a mistake in being so eager to go along with the Twins and join in with their Avenger training. It was what they wanted, definitely. And it suited them both, really. But Nina? She thought she had wanted it. Truly, she had. The rush that day in Novi Grad had been exhilarating. Helping those people? Helping Captain Rogers? After feeling so helpless in the days following her abduction, it had been amazing to feel useful. To feel capable. But now she couldn't help but wonder how much of that reaction had been just that. Reactionary.

She was pretty sure that was what her mom had been alluding to the last couple weeks. Nadine had been supportive if noticeably reserved about Nina's decision to sit in on the Twin's training. She wasn't a genuine recruit, of course, but with her upbringing at Nadine's side, her own Enhancement—the traits she'd been born with, rather than the ones the Sceptre had given her, of course—and her experience in Sokovia, Natasha and the Captain hadn't seen the harm in letting her join in. Even her mom had seen the benefits enough to go along with it.

And while Nina wasn't so sure she actually wanted to be an Avenger someday, she was self-aware enough to admit that the training had still done her good. She felt...better. She wasn't sure how else to put it. She'd been a mess of emotions and hurt and uncertainty after Sokovia, especially after the talk with her mom. And given how her own feelings of uncertainty in her future had been echoed in the Twins? She supposed it was only natural that she'd seen their solution as one that could work for her too. Especially since it meant she got to stay by them. Thankfully, her mom seemed to recognize that too.

Though it had been a few years since they'd last moved, Nina had recognized the restless shift in her mom that had once signalled Nadine's intent, even eagerness to move on. Pacing, distracted, thoughtful expressions when she thought no one was looking, long stretches of silence as she disappeared into her head or onto a computer. It had all felt a great deal like her mom's stages of planning just before their last move, the one that brought them to Vienna.

It was yet another part of why Nina had leapt at the opportunity of joining the Twins, she realized now. Even though there was no immediate danger of it happening, just thinking of having to start all over again, of having to leave everything behind, made her uneasy enough to make her palms clammy and her heart jump to her throat. Honestly, she wasn't sure how she hadn't realized it before. It seemed so obvious now. She hadn't wanted to leave.

Not the facility where she, strangely enough, felt safe after all that had happened, or the people who understood what she'd gone through. But really, it was the idea of never coming back that really did it. Of never seeing the Twins again. Or Natasha. Even Captain Rogers or Hawkeye. She didn't want to lose her new friends, or her new aunt...okay, that one was perhaps a bit of a stretch. She'd seen how close her mom and Natasha were. There was no way Natasha wouldn't have managed to stay a part of their lives if her mom had whisked the two of them away.

But even now that she recognized the why, she was all the more certain that she didn't want to leave. Not exactly.

Even now that she was coming to wonder if the training had really been more of a coping mechanism or a safeguard than anything else. Not that she hadn't still enjoyed it.

She'd been very sure to tell Captain Rogers that when he'd pulled her aside the other week to chat about her take on her training so far. She had already seen him pulling aside Wanda and Pietro—she was pretty sure he had even talked to Vision—so it hadn't been totally unexpected when he'd asked for a word.

Not that knowing it was coming had helped her nerves, any.

She'd been afraid it was going to be some kind of review, one where he would tell her she just wouldn't be able to keep up with what they were moving onto in his and Natasha's training plan. The warm, comforting haze of her Enhancement had surged forward at the very thought despite her own early doubts at wanting to continue in the first place. It was one thing to choose to drop out, but another to be told to leave.

But the hazy sensation deep in her chest hadn't helped much. If anything it made it just that little bit more nerve-wracking to follow the Captain down the corridor to one of the Compound's meeting rooms for their talk. She'd spent the rest of the chat with the urge to confess that she was far more Enhanced than he believed poised on the tip of her tongue, ready to blurt it out at the slightest provocation.

But it never came.

"Are you happy here?" She had blinked at Steve's question at first, her mind going totally blank for a moment.

"I—yeah. Yeah, I think so," she'd finally answered, growing more confused by the moment. Steve had nodded, eying her in an assessing sort of way. It hadn't been an unkind expression though.

"You think?" She'd frozen at that, absently picking at her nails—they'd been rather ragged at that point; another clue, really, that she hadn't been as happy as she'd been convinced she was.

"I—yeah. Yeah, of course I am," she'd hurried to assure him. "I love training. It feels...it feels good to be doing this." It had been the truth, but the Captain hadn't looked wholly convinced. He'd watched her fidget for another moment before sighing, shooting her a kind smile.

"You know, it's okay not to be, Nina. You're not obligated," he'd said gently. Nina had felt her cheeks flush, then, suddenly feeling foolish and extremely self-conscious. She had wanted to train, she had reminded herself. She shouldn't be feeling dissatisfied.

"Aren't I?" It had slipped out before she could stop it, in a sad little voice that still made her cringe just thinking about it. She had intended to reassure him that she was happy with what she'd chosen to do. What she'd asked to do. Then she'd gone and reacted like that. Her cheeks had instantly gone from flushed to flaming.

But Captain Rogers had just smiled sympathetically. And it had oddly enough made her feel just a smidge better.

"No, you're not." It hadn't been accusing, or disappointed. It had been concerned, and accepting. Even encouraging. Her chest had felt tight at how comforting that was to realize. He'd paused then, still watching her carefully as he'd leaned against the table, his arms crossing loosely across his chest. "You think you do, though. Don't you." It hadn't been a question. She hadn't been able to do anything but nod. He'd grown thoughtful then, his friendly features growing unreadable.

"You want to help. To make a difference." She'd started at the soft comment, not expecting it. Again, she'd been unable to do anything but nod, her throat having closed up. "But that's not all, is it." Nina had stayed silent, unable to force the words out. They just wouldn't come. She'd realized in that brief, painful moment that she didn't actually know what she wanted. He'd sighed again.

"Sometimes," he'd hesitated then, his gaze dropping to the middle distance before him as he'd realigned his thoughts, "sometimes standing up—stepping up to fight—is the way to do that. It was for me. It is for Nat, and Stark. Even the Twins. But my friend—my best friend..." he'd faltered again, a look of nostalgia passing across his features even as he looked up to her, "before I was chosen for Project Rebirth, I wanted to join up with the Army, to fight, to contribute where hundreds, thousands of others had. I was a scrawny little punk then," he'd said with a self-effacing grin, "and my friend knew better than I did that I wouldn't stand a chance. Not the way I was back then. I had the heart, but not the health to back it up. Being unable to back down from a fight in an alleyway and being in a war were two very different things, after all. Especially when you had the health problems I did." He'd straightened then, inhaling deeply.

"He pointed out that there were other options for ways to contribute, ones that I'd thought wouldn't be enough," he'd said emphatically then before grinning to ease the sting she'd felt at the blunt point he was making. "He'd also accused me of having something to prove." Despite herself, Nina had giggled, which was what Steve had intended if his satisfied smile had been any indication.

"Of course, I did. Even though I'd half-convinced myself my reasons were a bit more altruistic, I did have something to prove," he'd continued with an easy shrug. But then he'd gotten serious again. "Or at least I'd believed I did. And I think you're fighting the same thing." Something in her chest had constricted sadly then. Looking back, Nina wondered if that was when she'd realized that the training wasn't what she'd really wanted. Her eyes had dropped to her shoes, humiliation threatening to overwhelm her as she'd realized he was right. She was trying to prove something. That she wasn't helpless. That she belonged in the world she was a part of...that she was stronger than she was afraid her mom thought she was.

"Hey." She'd looked up to meet Steve's eye, the Captain having bent slightly to ensure she caught it. "Do you think the training has helped you?"

She'd thought about it for a long moment, her arms wrapping tight around her torso. It had, she decided. Then as she still did now, she believed it really had. But she'd needed the reminder. By asking her the way he had, by making her think about it, she'd done just that.

It had all led to a great deal of soul-searching over the last couple days, really.

And she had realized she'd already known.

It had helped. She knew now, after little over a week of turning the conversation and her realizations over and over again in her thoughts, that while she didn't want to leave this new world that she'd been dropped into anymore, neither was she so sure that she wanted to be a part of it the way she'd convinced herself she had to be. The way Steve, her mom, Nat and the Twins were. She didn't want to disappear into it. She didn't want to leave the world she'd grown up in behind. Not completely.

Over the course of her introspection on her place in the Compound, the conversation she'd overheard her Aunt having with Sam a few weeks back had come back to her over and over, always when she'd least expected it. Sam didn't live in the Avengers' world the way her mom or Nat did. Or at least, he hadn't. Not until he'd decided later that he wanted to make that commitment; a thought she had filed away for another time.

And thinking about Sam, and about those overheard conversations had gotten her thinking about the others. Colonel Rhodes lived and worked apart from the Avengers, coming back to lend his support when they needed him. But he still tentatively was one. But Dr. Cho? Dr. Selvig? Most of the agents and scientists dropping into the Compound, really. None of them were Avengers, but they were still there, still lending their support to the Team. So did Meg Stark.

Nina had honestly been fascinated when Nat had introduced her to Iron Man's sister, curious about her work with the Maria Stark Relief Foundation. She'd heard the Foundation's name being thrown about for years in conjunction with the Avengers, but she'd never really given it much thought. But it was important. "More important than prancing around in a fancy, flying toy," Meg had stated with a blasé tone and a sly smirk that had her brother spluttering across the room.

But the point that Nina had taken away was that Meg was a part of her brother's world without having to fight the way he did. In a way that looked to heal more than avenge the darkness that seeped out of the more shadowy parts of the world.

And she helped keep Tony Stark grounded...as much as was possible in the billionaire's case. She was a link for him, really, between the regular world and the world of the Avengers...a bridge.

It left Nina wondering if that was something she could do. If that was something she might want to do. Could she be the one to help keep her mom grounded? Pietro? Wanda? Even Natasha? Barton and his family had been that bridge for her Aunt for years, now. And Nina really had been one for her mom her whole life, already, if she was being honest. Could that be her place? To know about their world but be a link to, well, normalcy? The only hitch she could see to that was the twisting, fearful feeling in her gut at the idea of sitting back while they put their lives in danger, at not stepping up to help them herself when she knew she could. It was another reason why the idea of potentially being an Avenger one day held the appeal that it had.

She could help keep her friends and family safe if she fought with them.

But if she were their bridge, that would be keeping them safe in another way, wouldn't it?

Not everyone has to be a soldier to step up. Steve's parting words from their talk still stuck with her. Nina wasn't a soldier. On some level, she'd known that since before her chat with the Captain. Neither was she an Avenger. Not now. Perhaps someday, when she was more comfortable with herself and her place in the world—and her own powers—but not yet. Not now.

Not when she might very well have found another path to staying in the world she was becoming so fond of.

Not when, instead of being a soldier, she could be a bridge the way Meg Stark was. The way Clint's family had been and now Clint was as well. The way she used to be for her mom...only better this time, since she now knew about the world her mom and the others were immersed in.

A bridge and a shield. She huffed out a small, inadvertent laugh at the thought. She'd be both.

And with that realization a surprising wave of calm had washed over her. Was it really that simple? At once she felt lighter, the warm haze of her powers seeming to melt pleasantly out from her chest and through her whole body as her anxiety began to ease.

Steve had been right, after a fashion. She still felt she had something to prove, she supposed, but it wasn't as a wannabe Avenger.

Now, just how to do it.

To be a bridge as she was conceiving of the notion, she just had to be there for the people she wanted to help. To listen, to talk. To be an anchor of normal against the waves of weird and dangerous they would be up against. But where did that leave her? She couldn't just sit around the Compound for the rest of her life. So what else could she do?

That she didn't know. She'd always had some idea about what to do next. Growing up, it was mostly centred around school—studying for the next test, writing her next essay, finishing her new project, deciding what class to take that would get her to the next class; that sort of thing. Even in her after school programs, it was all about reaching the next goal, the next belt in her martial arts sessions, placing the next competition or showcase. And as her high school years had been drawing to a close, her next step had been university. Anticipation was suddenly fluttering in her chest as she felt suddenly like she'd stumbled on the answer. And her thoughts turned to her plans from before. When she'd been 'normal.'

After Sokovia, she'd dismissed the thoughts of returning to her old life, forcing away her regret at her perceived necessity of abandoning her school plans thanks to her conviction that her new path was the right one given all the changes in her life.

But now? Could that be her path? And she might not even have to leave this world all that far behind if she were to go away to school; Meg had mentioned that the MSRF offered internships when she'd found out what courses Nina had been pursuing in school, and she'd seen Dr. Selvig bustling around the Compound with his own collection of interns and students. She was pretty sure even a couple of Dr. Cho's companions were grad students or something.

Either way, the more she thought about it, the more she realized that she wanted to pick that thread of her old life back up.

It wasn't long after that that she found herself standing just outside the Avenger's private common area. Watching, waiting for the right moment.

And for her nerve to rally.

She'd spent so much of the time since Sokovia trying to prove to her mom with assurances and actions that she belonged here. That she wanted to be here. How was she going to take this change of heart? She suspected, after hearing her mom's motives for keeping her secrets, that part of why Nadine had been okay with Nina remaining in the Compound to train came from the fact that not only could Nadine could keep an eye on her here, but there were others who could too. Others who could keep her safe if the situation arose.

Not to mention the state of the art security in and around the Compound...

Just on the other side of the glass, standing in the small kitchenette with her aunt, was her mom. Nina couldn't help but swallow convulsively with nerves.

How was Nadine going to take the news that Nina wanted to leave that safety? That she wanted to leave the compound.

That she wanted to leave Nadine.

Not that that was a real reason behind the decision, really. As annoyed and resentful as a little part of Nina still was over her mom's secrets, that didn't mean she wanted to leave her either. Okay, another part of her did, but that was more the 'I'm almost a grown up and I want to get out on my own' impulse than her lingering anger over everything that had happened. A part of her that was stronger than the traces of her lingering resentment was anxious about leaving the feelings of safety her mom's presence provided. Just like part of her was nervous about leaving the haven that was the Avengers' Compound and the safety it too provided.

Especially after everything that had happened...and all the danger Nina had been in out there away from Nadine's protection. Something she knew her mom was likely going to be uneasy about. For the same reasons.

But on the other hand, Nadine had always wanted Nina to be 'normal'—no, the chance to be normal, Nina corrected remembering her aunt's assurances. What was more normal than wanting to go off to school?

Nina bit back a sigh. She was sure—mostly sure—that this was what she wanted. More than that, she knew it was the right course for her. She needed to do this in a way that she hadn't when she'd decided to join Avenger Training. In the way she'd thought she needed to train.

She needed to regain her control, and she felt deep in her gut that going away to school, on her own, was the best way to accomplish that. The training had helped her recover some of her confidence. Now she needed to prove to herself that it had worked. She needed to recover her independence. To take back the sense that she could take care of herself that she'd had before Sokovia. Her mom had taught her as much since she was a kid, and she didn't want to waste those lessons anymore. Not like she had been here at the Compound.

One thing above all else, however, was abundantly clear.

It was time to come clean to her mom.

About everything.

And with a deep, fortifying breath, Nina pushed open the glass door to the common area.

A/N: Thanks for Reading!

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