Khizar's POV.
I was left shocked. My eyes went to see her who was lost in sleep but her those written words were snatching my every second of peace and sleep. I was still not believing on what I was reading. What was revealing to me, was blocking my all senses of thinking.

Taking a deep breath, I looked down again at the diary which I was holding. With a deep breath out, I turned to the next page to see more shocks but now I had to know all. I had to know all about this girl who was the girl I never knew, I guessed and I never loved.

"Sometimes I think what are these feelings of mine for you. For you Khizar, my love increases with every passing second of my life. I juts don't have control on myself, on my feelings. I feel weak in front of your love which is deeply in my heart.

Since childhood to now, when we are grown up and I can see you becoming more handsome day by day and I'm finding myself falling for you again and again. But still I found myself at distance from you like the very first day. I'm still so far from you where I couldn't touch your heart.

I wonder, how can you be so unaware of my feelings for you. Can't you see the love in my eyes for you. Can't you feel my eyes on you. Can't you hear my heartbeat which increased wherever I see you. Can't you see my smile when I see you smiling. Can't you see your favourite colour on me everyday. Can't you just look into my eyes for once to see the love I'm hiding in my heart for you. I'm hiding an ocean of love for you Khizar in my heart. I wish I could tell you that how much I love you. But I know you're never going to know about the love I do. I will always remained the girl, you never loved and not even noticed."

Shocked on the words, my eyes again moved to see her who moved a little in her sleep and turned to face me. My eyes roamed on her face which was looking stressed still in the sleep. I could see that in her sleep, she was going through some stress.

“Khizar.” Her lips moved in sleep but this time, I could understand the whisper her lips made.

A silent tear escaped from her left eye and again, I heard her taking my name. Getting up, I placed that diary on the chair, I was sitting and walked to her who was giving me shocks on shocks. Taking seat just in front of her, I just kept looking at the face which I never noticed neither looked like I was looking at now. Removing her hair strand from her temple, I kept looking at her wet lashes. My eyes roamed on her face which was looking so pale and weak.

“Why Haya? Why this much love?” I whispered looking at her who was revealing her world of heart to me where I only could see myself and nothing else.

Sighing, I walked back to the chair to read more about this silly girl. Looking at her once, I opened the diary and turned the next page to read more about her craziness and stupidity.

"Khizar you've made my day. That smile of yours just took my heart again and the beat of my heart was loud that i got scared that you will hear it but thankfully you didn't. I'm stupid I know but for you I can and will always be stupid. That smile of yours appeared when I made your favourite breakfast of Halwa puri and you know since long, I'm making this special breakfast only for you, just to see you happy. But I know, you thinks that its your khala who do this.

From your room cleanings to clothes washing, water to dinner your every work is my duty and i love to do all this without telling you. Your all gifts which you received since childhood with the name of your khala were also sent by me.

Your every work I do and you thinks that its your khala doing, keeping an eye on your every problem doing things to make you happy but it was always me Khizar who can't see you in pain or in any trouble. Its me who can't bear a single tear in your eyes. Its your Haya who can do anything to just see you smiling my life. And I'm happy hidden behind Ami. It doesn't mattered if you thinks that its ami doing your works becsuse it gives you happiness and that's all I want. Sometimes, I wonder what will be your reaction when you will come to know about all this and most of it your favourite morning tea is also made by me. That special tea which you love,I'm making for you since childhood. Only for you and you like always thinks it is Ami who makes this tea for you. How stupid you are but still I love your this stupidity because it shows that how innocent  you are. I love your every phase, every look ,every word.

I love which you love and i hate you hate. You hate yellow colour and blue become my favourite as its your favourite.  My wardrobe is full of blue clothes now. I want to be in the colour which you like. Rain become your enemy and for me it become hateful as it gives you only pain. I was once crazy for rain but i averted my eyes from the rain like you do. Since i came to know your dislike for rain I never liked it too."

I looked up from the diary to her on what I read. This girl was really giving m shock. With every word, I was finding myself so special and stupid too who couldn’t see her love. Looking down again at the diary, I prepared myself to read more.

"And then I felt myself dying when you talked about my marriage. I am living for you and you were so easily talking about my marriage with someone else. I wanted to cry out in front of you that time. I wanted to confess that  Khizar your Haya loves you crazily and madly that she can't think of anyone else. But I stopped myself and tried to gulp the pain in my heart. But that day I decided one thing that i would rather love to die but I will never become someone else's.  Haya was, is and will always be khizar's. No one can take me far from you."

I was stunned, shocked on her this deep love for me. Why I never could see it. My eyes felt wet as her words were going deeply in my heart and I felt, I was losing myself in her words. Looking down again at the opened diary, I start reding more.

You remember that night when i came to see you. How can you. You were deeply in sleep. That night i got so worried about you. You were sneezing badly and i knew this was due to that rain which drenched you completely. I knew soon your throat will start hurting. I just couldn't stop myself from going into your room as i was not satisfied. I knew you must be burning in fever and this was making me restless. I just wanted to see you and for that i took the biggest risk.

As I entered your room your beautiful fragrance touched my nostril making me fall for you again but when i saw you i just couldn't stop my tears. You can't know neither understand what you do to me and what are you for me. Whenever I see you my heart yearns for you more. I wish i could take all your pain away. That night i fell for you sgain. Whenever i see you you make me fell in love with you over and over again and i just can't help it. I just can't control my feelings for you."

“You were the shadow girl?” I looked at her shocked and this time a tear escaped from my eye on what I came to know.

“Haya my shadow girl?” I was still in shock while my eyes never moved from her.

Looking at her I felt my breaths heavy and heart too. So much she was hiding in her heart and I was unaware of all this. She was the girl who came to my room those nights but never showed. Having a heart full of love for me but never asked for anything. Why couldn’t I see all this. Why couldn’t I realize that she was the shadow girl.

I was lost in my thoughts when she moved again and this time her right hand came out of the blanket and my eyes fell on her wrist where those red bangles tickle. My eyes never moved from those bangles which were looking so beautiful in her wrist.  With a deep sigh i took  my wallet out snd slowly opened it and brought out that hroken bsngle i wss carrying with me all thw time. My eyes again moved to those bangles which were  decked in her wrist snd the at that broken piece of bangle i was holding.

"Why Haya? Why did you hide all this?" Asking her I placed that broken piece of bangle which was the same just like she was wearing back in my wallet and leaned back to take a break from these shocks she was giving me. Closing my eyes i tried to calm my nerves which got more tense as i wss remembering her each and every word again and again.

Hafsa's POV.

I looked at him who was standing in front of me with that big smile on his face showing how happy he was.  I passed a smile to him as my dream come true. Finally now i was Mrs waeeem and now was going to live my life as i wanted.

"Shall we?" Placing his hand in front of me he asked and giving him a beautuful smile of mine i held his hand and stepped down from the car.

"You both enjoy. We'll see you tomorrow." I looked at Saaim who wished us with a smile.

"Poor him. Was going to stop waseem from marrying me and now was wishing us."

I thought and formed a smile on my lips.

"Waseem take care of our bhabhi. See you tomorrow and once again congratulations." Said Saaim again and hugged him while i just sighed looking at all this drama.

"He had to marry me. My beauty is not just thing to be ignored. Hm... Just wait and watch how I'm going to take all this from you all."

I thought as my eyes caught his watch and his mother's expensive jewellery she was waearing.

"Come." Taking me with him, said waseem and i nodded and walked with him inside that grand hotel which was just in front of me.

As we stepped in, my jaw dropped while my eyes roamed around to see the interior and design.  I had never seen this much grand hotel in my life.  Everything of that hotel was so beautiful and organized. I was amazed excited and happy.

"Mr and Mrs waseem." Said Waseem as he stopped at the reception and in few secobds he was given our room keys.

"Come sweetheart." Saying he held my hand again and we took elevator to reach our room while i was so excited thinking about my coming life where i could with my all dreams coming true.

I was going to live that luxurious life as i dreamt. My eyes went to him who was coming with me and i smiled on his foolishness and could see his happiness.

As we stepped in the room together, he picked me up in his arms and closed the door behibd us while my heart got scared a little on sharing some moments with this idiotic man who was now my husband.  I was thinking what his mind was thinking at that moment when he carried me inside.

Is he upto something with me?

I will not.

I thought and faked a smile to him who was looking at me with so much love that was difficult to digest but still i had to bear his romantic thoughts and talks.

"Welcome my love to our beautiful world." As he said my eyes roamed on that huge room which was so beautifully decorated with roses and candles.

"Thank you. I'm so happy that finally we're married now and you're with me." I said looking back in his eyes.

"So am I.  I've a surprise for you." Saying he put me down while i got excited thinking about dimonds and rubies.

"I love surprises." I said excitedly as he went to take whatever he brought for me.

"Here you go." Giving me a packet he said and i held it.

As i opened it my eyes twinkled with the light of joy. I looked at him surprised and he held me in the circle of his arms.

"We're flying to Dubai tomorrow for our honeymoon." He said and i got so much happy that words lost for me to say.

I was just looking at him shocked surprised.

"Really?! I can't believe this." I said and hugged him excitedly.

"I love you so much Hafsa that i want to give you all happiness of the world." His words showed that he loved me but he wss5 not aware of what i wanted.

I never wanted his love but money and now i was going to take all what he had in my own way. Moving back i looked deeply in his eyes who was looking at me with those eyes which had so much in them that i can read. Those unspoken words, emotions demands which froze me for a second.

"Waseem..i..was...thinking...th..that.." i was stuttering as he was coming closer to me and i knew what he wanted and what he wanted to do that made my heart to run in fear.

"No talking tonight my love." Whispering close to my lips he just about to kiss me but i pushed him back smiling fakly and ran in the room.

"Hafsa tonight you can't run." Saying he chased me while my mind was trying to think a way of stopping him but there was nothing coming in my mind.

I was trying but i knew i couldn't do anything to stop him as it was me who said that i love him and now being my husband he wanted his right on me but i didn't want that.

"Got you." I was lost in my thoughts when his arms circled around me and he picked me again in his arms before i could protest.

"Waseem I..was thinking to share these moments on our honeymoon not tonight." I tried to stop him who was now taking me to bed.

"Its our wedding night jaan. Can't miss it." Whispering in my ears he came on top of me as he lied me in bed.

"But.." My words were stopped as he put his finger on my lips.

"Enjoy the night because there are much surprises for you to come which you couldn't digest." Whispering he leaned on my neck and i closed my eyes as there was nothing i couod do to stop him so i just let myself go to him as he wanted me.

Khizar's POV.

Life givesyou many shocks but my life gave the biggest shock when khizar and Hafsa got engaged. That day i forgot that how i bear you with my sister. But it was your happiness.  And your smile matters a lot to me. So for your happiness Haya killed her heart on every stepand wished you for your happiness. That wish to wear your name's ring in my finger destroyed when you put that ring in hafsa's finger. That time i felt someone stabbed my heart but for you bear that pain too. The pain of losing you.  Every moment when i saw you both standing together talking and smiling, my heart cried but i never showed because your happiness was more important to me than my own pain. But with each and every passing day I'm thinking that how will i live without you. How will  bear you with someone ele my whoke and with that thought my brwaths stop khizar. Help me khizar to take your love out of my heart. Harib bhai says I'm a fool lettibg my happiness away. He calks you dumb and me a fool girl who is not telkibg you tgat how much i love you but truly i can't. I can't describe what I've for you in my heart. I just can't say in words. To know you've to see my heart to feel my love but i know it can never happen.  You can never love me. My love for you will always hidden. And its my fate that I've to love you but you won't be aware of it. You'll never get to know that there's a girl madly in love woth you. That your smile, your tears, your happiness,your sadness, your love and hatematters to her the most. She lives to love you. Yourlove is her life. My life. I'm nothing without you khizar. I wish i wish you could knew."

Closing the diary, i closed my eyes ad it was now getting more difficult to know abput this stupid girl who loved me this much. I was not feeling that strong to discover more about this beautiful heart. But I had to. I had to know about this silly girl who was running after me and i was really a dumb who was not aware of her love for me.

Witu gulping down the saliva i opened the diary again to read what was written next to that page. My eyes roaming on the words written in front of me while i felt my eyes getting blurred with tears.

"Haya." Slowly my lips took her name while my eyes moved to see her shockingly.

My eyes wrnt back to that page to read again what i read a second ago to make myself believe that there was someone who loves me that much that there were no conditions to be applied. Unconditionally without any expectation she was just loving me.

"How dare she? How dare Hafsa to break hus heart. To break my khizar's heart. I never wanted to see him sad znd Hafsa made him cry. I know he was showing himself strong in front of everyone but his tears were nkt hidden from me. I just couldn't understand this gurl who is trying again and again to make khizar suffer. First that chilli powder in rice which made his condition worse but there i cobtrolled myself from slapping her as she hurt my khizar but now she btoke his heart into msny pieces and i just couldn't do anything to help him.

Hafsa broke him completely.  I csn feel. He won't say to anyone  i know but how can he hide from me. How can he hide his oain his tears his broken dreams grom me. I akwats pray for his happiness snd success and long life and this girl was snatching his happiness. For whom I'm praying with my every breath she's takinghis smile awsy. I wish I could be brave to slap her on that spit when she made my khizar cry sad and broken. I wish i coukd be tgat brave to push her out of my house snd his geaet too which made him suffer. But tgere is notjing i could do to heal your pain khizar. I jyst csn oray for your happiness. I wish you all the happiness my life."

"What are you Haya?" I whispered lookibg at her face who was so deepky in skeep but shaking me fully from in side as my heart missed it's beat on recalling her words.

"What you started inside me?" Asking i placed my hand on my heaet who's beat was little fast not as usual but different today.

Lost in the magic of her words my eyes again went back to the diary to read the very last page.

"How brave a man could be? Seeing his love one with other is much hurtful that can't be described. I went through all this. The pain and fear of losing someone. The pain of seeing your loved one with someone. But i never wanted khizar to experience all this. I never wanted this pain for ypu. I always wished for your happiness but fate played badly breaking our hearts. Hafsa was finally married to waseem but i could see the emptiness which khizar felt that moment. That moment i wanted to come to you khizar to say that I'm here but i just couldn't.  You know I'm not that brave or bold to express myself and i can't blame you to understand by yourself because I'm not a noticed girl to you.  I'm just Haya to you who is your cousin and that's all but you're my life my breath my heartbeat the reason of my living then how can your pain be hidden from me but i couldn't be there with you. I'm relieved that Harib bhai is always with you. He always says you're innocent yet fool who couldn't see my love for you. But i don't agree with him. You are innocent but not fool.

I thought you'll soon recover from the shock which hafsa gave you but i forgot that you were going. Going far from me and this made my heart to stop for a second.  I forgot about that all. I can bear the pain of losing you but far from you will take my life.  Two years how will i survive without you. Just a day and you're going far from me. Going far from my eyes. I couldn't see you ever. How will i live? How will i? I want to say don't go but i won't. I just can't. I just can't khizar. This heart beats for you khizar and i will always wait for you to return. Return to me so that i can live but i know it can never happen.  You can't be mine. Because I'm the girl you never loved."

Closing the diary as i completed it, my eyes again went to her who's head moved a little in her sleep and i unintentionally walked to her who was creating a storm inside my heart.  Her every word was deeply engraved on my heart that my eyes stopped to blink and heart stopped to beat. I was just looking at her who was in front of me and I was her life. I was.

Sitting in front of her on bed i kept looking at her. For some reason, my eyes refused to avert from her.

"Is this fever because of me?" Asked, my hand went to touch her forehead which was still warm.

"Am I making you feel all this?" Whispering, I leaned closer to her face to just lost more in it.

I was not understanding what was happening to me. Why i was reacting like that but her every word really affected me.

"Khizar." Her lips took my name while her head moved here and there slowly and i could see restlessness on her face as the frown was clear on her forehead.

"Khizar." Again she took my name and a hiccup escaped from her lips while saw a rebel tear sliping down from corner of her eye.

"I'm here." Cupping her face with my left hand, i made a whisper closed to her.

"I'm here. Just relax." Caressing her cheek with my thumb, i repeated my words.

My eyes just kept capturing her and i leaned more on her face and as my lips were about to touch her forehead i stopped myself and moved back awaking from the magic that her words cast on me.

"What i was going to do?" Thinking, I got up with a jolt and turned to go fully embarrassed on the thought of kissing her.

But stopped as my heart beat differently this time when i created distance between us. It pulled me back to her.

"What I'm thinking!" Scolding myself, i ran out of her room who was pulling me to her and those words i read in her diary were ringing in my mind blocking my senses to think anything else.

Khizar I'm the girl you never loved.

You can never be mine.

I'm nothing without you khizar.

I was going mad with the words that were coming again and again in front of me. Stopping in the compound i took deep breaths to calm myself as i was still under the shock. The shock that Haya loves me. That Haya was that girl who came to my room every night. She was the one who took care of me all these years. All the gifts i received were from her not from khala. My favourite tea was made by her.  She knew my favourite colour. She knew i like blue. I stopped on the thought and ran again to her room. Looking at her once, I went to open her wardrobe and as i did my eyes widened and breath stuck in my ribcage. All the dresses were of blue colour. Why didn't i ever notic? I thought and turned to see her again who was shaking me inside and outside with her shocking reality with her this deep love for me.

Looking away I ran out and went up to the roof to inhale the fresh air in ordered to come back to my senses and overcome the feelings rising in my heart for that stupid girl who was burning in fever for me, who had a heart full of love only for me.

"Haya. Haya. What happened to me?" Running fingers in my hair frustrated I walked here and there.

"I just can't think all this. I have to stop myself. That's okay she..she loves me but I...I.." what I wanted to say or thinking was not coming out Of my mouth as I was too shocked as i was not understanding what to say how to react.

"Are you planning to stay here all the night?" I turned on the voice and saw Harib standing there yawning.

"And this night is over now. Its almost morning." He said yawning again and walked to me while my eyes went to see the time on my wrist watch.

"Oh its 4 of the morning." I replied slowly and looked at him who knew all this from the start but never told me.

"What? Why are you looking at me like this?" He asked as he came closer and stopped in front of me.

"I'm dumb. Stupid and idiot. That's what you think." I said looking back in his eyes which widened on what i said.

"How'd you know?"  Asked, he waited for my reply.

"That doesnt matter. I agree with you. I'm a foolish person of the world." Saying i walked to my room to take some rest as i had a flight to catch aftet few hours.

Turning i looked at him once who was trying to understand what i said but that moment i had many things to think and think.

"Haya." Again i took her name as she was not going away from my thoughts now and i knew this was going to be like this for some time i thought or maybe more.

A/N:: Assalam-o-Alikum readers.

How are you all?

Waited a lot??

I know and sorry for making you all wait. Life become so busy. I hardly get time to write as you all know the duty of mother is not so easy when you've to handle your in-laws and husband too with the baby work. So please have patience for all updates. I'm trying to end all these stories as soon as i could because I know my readers are waiting impatiently for them to be completed. 

All the readers who wants an update of YOURS have to wait a little more as i wabt to complete His love wins first and tgen I'll give you updates of YOURS too. Because i can't write all because short of time. Hope you all understand. 

Coming to the update hope you all liked. Finally Khizar got know his shadow girl. What you think what feelings Khizar started to feel for Haya? Will he go leaving her?
What about Hafsa? What surprise waseem is planning for her? Any guesses?

Wait for the next update to know more and I'll try to update soon.

Till updates Allah Hafiz.

Take care.

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