Weeks passed and Mana continued to rain down on the daily. The Israelites were growing restless, they were tired of the same food, and seemed to be stuck in perpetual conflict with one another.

Moses was the judge between all of these squabbles and affairs. He was losing his patience as the days were becoming extremely unproductive because he spent the majority of the day settling endless disputes. To make matters worse, these disputes were often petty and seemed to Moses as a complete waste of time.

For instance, one of the complaints was that one of the members snored too loudly. Another complained about missing spices and accused another of stealing it. Another complained of the lack of shading in the desert and demanded canopies and misters. One wanted to sacrifice a baby to God because it cried all night, and then the Israelite was upset that Moses rejected his wish and informed Moses that Baal gladly accepted sacrifices of babies and that he wished to return to Egypt to practice Baal worship. Needless to say, things were getting out of hand.

Moses finally decided that he would need to create some sort of order in all this chaos. Therefore, he brought it upon himself that he would need to go up Mount Sinai and talk to the Lord about establishing laws for his tribe. Moses went to Aaron and informed him of his plan.

"Brother, I will be heading to Mount Sinai to speak with the Lord. I cannot deal with these petty squabbles anymore. We need law and order amongst the tribe, otherwise we will have ceaseless quarrels amongst each other and never reach the Promised Land due to the time spent judging each case. In my absence I put you in charge of the people."

"Do what you must do. I and Miriam will watch over the others."

"Thank you brother. I must ask that you not allow them to worship Baal or any other false gods. Keep a close eye on Jeb for he has a habit of fastening calves out of all sorts of material. Furthermore keep Dave happy, for he is too loud and influential and tends to infect everyone else with his negativity if he becomes displeased."

"I will brother." Aaron said with confidence.

"Also keep Abiah away from lentils, he gets terrible gas and ferocious diarrhea anytime he eats it...Which stinks up the entire camp and we have limited scented candles that must be preserved for rituals and altars. Promise me that you will keep lentils away from Abiah?"

"I promise brother."

"One last thing."

"Yes brother?" Aaron inquisitively asked.

"Promise me that you will not let them worship false idols. I know I mentioned this previously, but this is of the utmost importance. I feel I cannot stress this enough." Moses said sternly.

"Brother you can count on me. I will not disappoint you." Aaron said with reassurance.

"Splendid! I will return after 40 days and 40 nights, not earlier nor later. Take care."

The two embraced, and Aaron returned to the tribe while Moses began his journey climbing up Mount Sinai.

Days passed, and the murmurs of Moses' departure began to cause rumors and conspiracies amongst the tribe of Israel.

Dave spoke up, "I guess our leader led us to the desert in order to abandon us."

Aaron refuted this remark and claimed, "Like I explained previously Dave, he went to go speak with the Lord, he will be back. We must have patience."

"I have exercised patience for months now. All of us have. It is part of our character now, wouldn't you say?"

"Let us be positive Dave. You have to admit, the view of the sun over those sand dunes is gorgeous isn't it?"

"To be honest it is a UV nightmare, and I left all my sunblock back in Egypt. I wouldn't be surprised if some of us get those disgusting sun spots and a majority of us develop skin cancer." Dave purported.

Israelites began to agree with Dave. Dave boldly proposed, "If Moses doesn't return by sundown tomorrow, I say we head back to Egypt."

"Yeah!" The Israelites vociferously agreed, many cheered.

"No!" Screamed Miriam. "You do not know where you are going, and Moses and the Lord have kept to their promises, have they not?"

"Um, I guess they have."

"Then let us believe in Moses and let us wait. He said 40 days and 40 nights, 3 days and nights have only passed and you have already begun to lose faith."

"Fine, we won't leave for Egypt, but if we don't hear news from him by tomorrow evening, Aaron will fasten us a golden calf to worship, right Aaron?" Dave looked toward Aaron.

"No need, I have one already." Jeb the Israelite said as he pulled a golden calf out of his bag.

Miriam snatched the calf and smashed it with a large mallet.

"We do not worship false idols!" Miriam vehemently reminded her people.

"How dare you break my idol! And where did you get that mallet?" Jeb angrily shouted. "You must repay me for this wretched deed."

Dave held Jeb back, "Don't worry Jeb, Aaron reassured me that he would fasten a calf for us."

Miriam turned to Aaron and said, "Aaron, refute this."

Aaron said, "They do have a point, it has been a while since we heard back from Moses...He is in his 80's and attempted to walk up a large mountain, even a physically fit youth would have trouble with such a hike. Also I am pretty sure he didn't carry enough water and he hasn't eaten much so he is even weaker than usual. Honestly Miriam, there is a strong possibility that he has died."

Miriam turned pale, "Aaron! Do not say that! The Lord, our  God, is with him. Have faith and do not make such horrid assumptions!" 

"I would say that it is more than an assumption at this point. It is a strong hypothesis borderlining on an undeniably valid fact." Dave chimed in.

"You stay out of this Dave! Aaron let us speak in private." Miriam looked at her brother Aaron.

The two stepped aside to speak privately.

"Aaron you promised Moses you would not let them worship false idols."

"Oh yes, you are right. I will speak to them."

"Thank you."

Weeks passed and during that time, Moses received stone tablets from God that contained the Ten Commandments. Moses was excited to return to his people, he had a new found vigour and he missed them during his absence.

Just like Moses promised, he returned after 40 days and nights. As he was making his final descent down the mountain he observed something that put him in a state of absolute horror.

The Israelites were ritualistically dancing around a golden calf, drinking calf blood, singing hymns to Baal and eating uncooked ramen noodles.

Jeb the Israelite walked up to Moses and placed his hand gently on his shoulder and said, "Hey Moses you're back! You came just in time. Aaron is about to sacrifice his first born goat to the golden calf he fastened. Also, Jebediah and the Levites are about to perform a new song that they created in honor of Baal. It's going to be fricken awesome!"

Moses turned hot red with anger and violently hurled the stone tablets to the ground. He then fiercely stomped on the tablets with his leather sandals, but he wasn't done yet. He then proceeded to reach into his brown, dusty cloak and pulled out a green lightsaber. He then raised the lightsaber above his head and shouted, "Kameha-me-haaaa!!!" With great super-saiyan spirit he sliced Jeb the Israelite down the center with his lightsaber, splitting him into two equal parts.

The Ten Commandments were shattered, and Jeb's bodily organs were splattered on the base of the mountain.

Moses then stormed towards the camp and spotted his brother Aaron. He grabbed him by his necklace and began to shake him violently as he scolded his brother, "Not only did you break your promise, but you were the one who fastened the calf?! How could you? I told you 40 days and 40 nights, did you forget?"

"Brother, first off, I am happy you are alive."

"What?!"

"Secondly, none of us have a calendar, therefore we lost track of time. We thought you were gone for longer and the people were growing restless. I had to do what I had to do."

"This has to stop." Moses said and then turned to the Israelites and commanded, "Stop what you are doing now! Destroy the false idol, stop the dancing and the singing and fall down on your knees and beg for forgiveness from God...Now! Or feel his wrath."

"Well, well, well, look who decided to finally rear his ugly, wrinkled, bearded face. Our leader, or should I say deserter." Dave the Israelite spoke.

"I didn't desert you, I went up the mountain for 40 days and 40 nights in order to get the laws from the Lord, so that we could establish order. I did this for all of us."

"Where are these laws that you speak of?" Dave looked around and even peeked under a blanket, sarcastically looking for the laws.

"They are shattered." Moses said as he put his head down.

"How?" The Israelites asked.

"I was angry at the sight of your Baal worship and hurled them to the ground, and they shattered."

"Did you not know they were fragile?" Aaron asked.

"You picked up stone tablets, with those scrawny arms?" Dave said in shock.

"So you mean to tell me, you not only wasted time, you also disrespected God's laws. How can we follow a man who doesn't respect the Lord and his laws. That is absolute sacrilege Moses. You are supposed to lead by example." Miriam reprimanded her brother.

"Yeah! Cut his head off!" Shouted an Israelite.

"Cut his beard off!" Shouted another.

"I'm still impressed that you picked up heavy stone tablets." Dave said in honest astonishment.

Once Moses' rage cooled off, the feeling of shame enveloped him. He was upset, and embarrassed with himself that he had lost his temper. He knew he had to ask for God's forgiveness and return to the top of Mount Sinai.

Once again, Moses spent 40 days and 40 nights on Mount Sinai in order to receive the Ten Commandments from God. God was upset with Moses and his people, therefore he punished them for their disobedience. They were to wander in the desert for 40 years and only the children would be able to see and enter the Promised Land. The others, including Moses and his family, were destined to die in the desert.

The End