To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: The meaning of life

Dear Amy,

College is nothing like I expected. I'm still not sure if that's good or bad.

Your 'Maybe I should be a Philosophy Major' Cousin,

Juliet

"What do you want to do Saturday night?" Dylan ran a hand through my hair as we lay in his bed. For once, he hadn't fallen asleep. It was already late September, and I couldn't quite accept it. The semester was flying by.

"Saturday? I have a mixer that night."

"Mixer?" He tensed. "With what house?"

"Kappa."

His face crinkled up in distaste. "You can't go to that."

"Does that mean you're skipping the mixer you guys have with the Sigmas on Friday?"

"No. I have to be there. I'm the fraternity president."

I moved out of his arms. "It's okay for you to go to a party with another sorority, but I can't go to one with a different frat?"

He reached out to me. "It's different. I can keep girls off me. You can't keep guys away. Besides, I already told you why I have to go."

"I'm a pledge. I have no choice."

He didn't say anything for a moment. "If I agree to skip mine, would you skip yours?"

"I thought you couldn't miss it."

"I can if I'm out of town."

"Out of town?" I let him pull me back into his arms.

"Yeah. Let's go out to the beach. We could use some time away."

"I'll see if I can get excused."

"I'll take care of it."

"How?"

He smiled. "It won't be a problem."

***

The relaxation I always felt on the drive to the beach set in as soon as we turned onto Main Road. Nothing drastically changed at that spot. We still passed occasional restaurants, stores, and plenty of cars, but it was always the point where I said to myself, "I'm on vacation."

"Would you mind if I turned off the AC?" I was dying to roll down my window. We were still over twenty minutes from the beach, but I wanted the fresh air.

"Sure." He reached over at the same time I did. I moved my hand, letting him hit the button. He took my hand in his before opening my window for me. I looked outside, loving how familiar everything was. I'd been going to the beach for longer than I could remember. No matter what else was happening in life, my family always went for at least two weeks every summer, and usually a few other times during the year.

"What are you thinking about?" Dylan rested our entwined hands on my leg.

"Just how much I love the beach." We were getting closer. The dense canopy of leaves created by the live oaks managed to block out most of the sun, but it did nothing for the humidity. I didn't mind.

"Me, too. My dad actually talked about selling our place a few years ago, but I talked some sense into him."

"How'd you manage that?"

"I reminded him of how good of an investment it is."

"Oh. That makes sense."

"I'm so ready for this weekend. I feel like I've hardly seen you the past few weeks."

"I spent two nights with you this week."

"Two out of five isn't great."

"I would have thought you'd want space." I looked back out the window.

"No. I want you in my bed. I sleep better that way, and I swear you're like a drug. I can't get enough of that body of yours."

My stomach tightened. I still loved hearing how much he enjoyed my body, but I just didn't get it. He'd been with plenty of girls before. I couldn't be that special. I enjoyed his body too, but the sex hadn't gotten any better.

"This is such a good time of year to go to the beach. It'll be practically empty."

"I've never been here this time of year."

"You'll like it. It's not as hot, but the water is still warm."

"Do you want to head down to the beach today? Do you think we'll have time?"

"Definitely. It's not even three-thirty."

Dylan seemed so relaxed, and I hoped getting away from school would bring back the Dylan I knew. The one who laughed all the time, the one who liked to sit and talk.

"Good. I'm ready for some sun."

"Well, I'm ready to see you in a bikini again," he said suggestively.

The rest of the trip moved quickly. Dylan turned on some music, and he didn't seem to mind that I wasn't being talkative. It was strange to drive into Dylan's driveway instead of my grandparents'.

"Finally." Dylan got out and immediately went around to pull out our bags. I noticed that he'd packed more than I'd expected.

"Ready?"

"Sure." We went in the back door, the same door we'd entered after our skinny dipping experience. Dylan definitely remembered it. The smug smile tugging at his lips made that readily apparent.

I followed him as he dropped our bags off in his room.

"I have a present for you." He dug into his large, black suitcase. "I can't wait to see how you look."

"Is that a thong?" I barely choked the words out as I examined the tiny pieces of pink fabric.

"Yeah, I've never seen you wear one before, but I love that ass of yours. This way you get to show it off for me."

"Okay...moving on from the bottom, do you really expect me to wear a top this small? There's a reason I stay away from triangle tops."

"It's your size."

"Dylan, I, uh, appreciate the thoughtfulness, but the bikinis I have are skimpy enough."

"They can't be that skimpy if you felt comfortable walking around in one in front of my whole frat."

That again. "Do you really want me to wear this?" I held up the top.

"Yes. I really do. It's only going to be us out there. If anyone else actually uses the beach, you have my permission to put on more clothing."

"Fine."

Dylan pulled his own, perfectly normal sized swim trunks out of his suitcase. "I want to enjoy the effect, so I'll get changed in the bathroom."

I reluctantly got undressed, cringing at the thought of putting on the tiny bottom. I hated thong underwear, and loathed even the thought of wearing something like that outside. Dylan walked out of the bathroom. I tried to focus on the view rather than the sorry excuse for a swimsuit I was wearing beneath my pink dress. "Take off the cover-up."

I shook my head. "It doesn't fit right."

"I'll be the judge of that." He moved to take off my dress himself, and after considering putting up some resistance, I gave in and let him pull it off.

He took a step back. "Damn, you look incredible." His eyes widened, and I hoped he'd get side tracked enough that he forgot about going to the beach. "I need the full effect." He moved around behind me. I knew it was coming, but I jumped when he grabbed my very exposed ass.

"Can I change now?"

"Change? We haven't even left yet."

"Dylan, I can't wear this out of the house."

"Sure you can. Do it for me." He put his hands on my arms. "I don't ask you for very much."

"Why does this matter so much to you?"

He moved his hands up to my shoulders and looked me directly in the eye. "Why does it matter to you? I like the way you look in it, and I want you to wear it down to the beach. Is that really so much to ask?"

"How about we compromise? I'll wear the top with a different bottom."

"You really hate wearing a thong that much?"

"Would you want to go out with your ass hanging out?"

"No, but then again my ass doesn't look as good as yours."

I laughed. "Deal or no deal?"

"Deal. But you'd better move fast. I can't keep my hands off you. If you want to hit the beach, we need to go now."

I opened my own bag, pulling out a black bikini bottom that suddenly seemed incredibly covering. I ran into the bathroom and changed. Much better.

"All right, let's go."

We grabbed some beach towels from the closet and headed out. We walked the boardwalk over to the beach. I took in the sights: the lagoon, the tall beach grass on the dunes.

"Is this okay?" He stopped about halfway down the beach.

"Perfect." I opened my towel and spread it out. Dylan put his down right next to mine, overlapping them slightly.

"You weren't kidding about it being empty." I lay down on my stomach, immensely glad to have a full bottom on.

"I told you." He stretched out next to me with his head only inches from mine.

He kissed me lightly before letting out a sigh.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. It's just stress." He rolled over onto his back.

"Anything in particular?"

"Just work stuff. You know I'm going to work for my dad after graduation, don't you?"

"Yeah." I leaned up on an elbow.

"I'm not really looking forward to it. Neither is he."

"Then why do it?"

"I don't have a choice."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." He put a hand on my back. "Do you need me to do sunscreen for you or anything?"

"Nope. It's pretty late." Was he really changing the subject so quickly?

"All right."

"Is there anything I can do to help? I mean, obviously I can't fix the job. But anything else?"

He smiled. "You already do. Sex with you is the best stress relief you can imagine. I plan on relieving a lot of stress this weekend."

"Do you?"

"Uh huh." He pulled me up on top of him. "In case you didn't realize, that was the thinking behind this weekend getaway."

"And I thought it was for the stimulating conversation." I kissed him. It felt strangely empowering to be doing it from on top. We never had sex that way. Every time I tried to, he rolled us over.

"I like talking to you, Juliet, but I love having sex with you."

Did he realize how that sounded? I forced myself to shrug it off. "I guess this is a bad time to tell you it's that time of the month."

"What?" The look of horror that crossed his face was priceless. "No. It's not. You just had it two weeks ago."

"Obviously it was a joke, Dylan."

"Don't mess with me." He pulled my head down to his and kissed me. He rolled us over. No surprise there. "Are you ready to get in the water?"

"Yes."

He shifted off me so I could get up. I didn't wait. I headed right down to the ocean and walked in. The water was warm, and I eagerly moved further out. Dylan joined me. "You really like water, don't you?"

"Of course, don't you?"

"Yeah, especially when it involves you." He wrapped his arms around me. "Speaking of which, want to head home and take a shower?"

"We just got to the beach."

"We'll come back tomorrow. I need you."

I had no desire to leave so quickly, but it didn't feel worth arguing about. Not after he finally opened up about being stressed. Dylan usually kept so much to himself.

***

After a shower and dinner, I was completely content to curl up on the couch with Dylan. My room at school was all right, but I missed being in a house and having a couch to lounge on. The ones in the dorm common room didn't quite cut it.

"I have a surprise for you." The excited look on Dylan's face scared me. I hoped this wasn't going to be another surprise like the thong.

"Another surprise?"

"Uh huh. I can't wait to see your reaction." He stood up and took my hand to pull me with him. I let him lead me into his bedroom.

"Close your eyes."

"Why?"

"Just close your eyes. I want to surprise you."

"Okay." I closed my eyes, hoping that the surprise wouldn't be too awful.

"Open them."

"Oh hell no." I took a step back. From his right hand dangled a pair of handcuffs.

"Ryan told me everything."

"What? What does Ryan have to do with the fact that you have handcuffs?"

"I know all about the BDSM stuff. I just wish you'd been comfortable enough to tell me yourself."

"BDSM stuff? What did Ryan tell you exactly?" I grabbed onto the bedpost for support. I felt ready to pass out.

"Everything. How you really want to try it and think I'd be the perfect dominant for you. At first, I wasn't sure, but the more I looked into it, the more I realized that it fit us. I definitely don't mind the idea of having you as my submissive. I figured it would be fun to start here—that way we don't have to worry about interruptions."

"What? And why would I tell Ryan about this uh, interest?" I was going to kill him. Ryan was dead.

"He said you were too embarrassed to tell me and wanted to see if I'd be interested."

"Oh my god."

"It's not a bad thing, Juliet. I really want to try it too." He took a step toward me.

I backed up. "Dylan."

"Yes?"

"Put those things away. Now."

"What? You don't want handcuffs? I also picked up some other bindings. I tried not to go too crazy on stuff, but I wanted some options."

"Stuff? What other stuff?" I looked over at his suitcase. One compartment overflowed with a variety of items I'd hoped to never see in my life.

"Where did you get this stuff?"

"A store downtown. I didn't have time to order."

"You went into a sex shop?" I laughed. I couldn't help it. It was too much to picture preppy Dylan walking into a place like that.

"I paid in cash. No one will ever know."

"I hope you can get a refund."

"What? Did I not get the right stuff?"

"I'm not into BDSM. Ryan was messing with you. Or me."

Dylan looked confused for a second before a smile spread across his face. "Oh, I get it."

"What?" Oh dear god, what was making him smile?

"This is all part of the role play. You want me to be the one to push you. I get it. I really think this is going to be good for us. It's going to help you get over your body issues. You can't completely be yourself without being properly dominated."

"Properly dominated? Where are you getting this bullshit?"

"I did my research, Juliet." He took a step toward me. "Take off your clothes."

I held my hands up in front of me. "Dylan, I'm not role playing. I have absolutely no interest in being dominated. Like I said, Ryan was messing with you."

"Really?" His face fell. "I was looking forward to intensifying our sex life. Why don't we try it anyway?"

"Try it? Not a chance."

"Fine." The look of disappointment that crossed his face bordered on comical. Did he really know me so little that he'd believe I was into bondage?

"Good. Now I'm going to get ready for bed." I headed toward the bathroom but then turned around as a horrible thought came to me. "Oh, and you don't have any weird plans of handcuffing me while I sleep, do you?"

A guilty look crossed his face.

"Damn it, Dylan. You were going to."

"I admit, it crossed my mind...I think you want to try it as bad as me."

"I'm going to sleep in Kyle's room if you keep this up. Or better yet, go next door."

He zipped up his bag. "Okay, but—"

"But what?" I prepared myself.

"If you don't want to try the bondage, could we at least try the spanking? I think I'd like that."

"Dylan!"

"Okay, okay. I had to ask."

"No, you didn't. You definitely didn't have to ask. Now the thong makes sense, you sicko."

"Sicko? I only bought the stuff because Ryan told me it was your thing."

"If you mention his name again, I'm going to lose it." I still couldn't believe Ryan had stooped so low. I wasn't sure if it was a joke or his way of getting back at me for being rude to him.

"So no bondage, and no spanking?"

"None. I'm going to brush my teeth." My life would have made a good reality TV show.