▪️ Insecurities ▪️

         " And I don't see any reason to accept your offer Mr Rai, the west wing is already under the government as its a tourist spot and we get 40% of it and we are fine with it. I am sorry but i do not want to give any other portion of our palace up "

" I am willing to double the offer Princess Anika, any price you name it "

" You want me to give you the place my people worship because of its war history just for you to build up a hotel !!  A hotel that would hardly change the economy of our Chittor? I care more about sentiments than you would think Mr Rai"

" I thought you are the new generation, you would care about growing Chittor into a new modern city and a luxurious hotel would do the job not NGOs "

" I care but not on the cost of losing our heritage and a city is made up of people of all classes so doing something just for one doesn't make me a queen it makes me an elitist Mr. Rai. You are free to build your hotel but not on that land. Thank you." I got up as the irritated old man shook my hand.

" Like mother like daughter but do tell me if you change your mind Princess Anika" he politely smiled and left. Oh how I wish I could have scolded his bribing ass a little more. Control Anika.

  I started gathering the files around me when I heard a knock.
"Come in "

" Seems like someone is walking on my footsteps, just saw rai leaving " Mom grinned proudly looking at me.

    I kept looking at her trying to memorize this face of hers as I rarely saw it. It had taken me a lot of efforts to study the background of every land and its importance and its market value in one night  to sit in all these meetings confidently. But I would do anything that would bring me a  step closer to gaining my mothers trust.

" Yeah took me a lot of control not to shout at him when he was talking about our NGOs. How did you do it ?" i wearily grinned.

     Today was a long day with meetings and I was tired and all I wanted to see was those Cheshire eyes staring at me. The past days I spent with him were bliss. Ahh that night was a game changer. He was all cute and real. I smiled thinking about it.

"Oh ignorance sometimes is a bliss beta....but not always " mom said interrupting my thoughts. She looked distant like she was going down the old memory lane.

" What do you mean ?" 

" Oh nothing forget about it ! I came to talk to you about the Rathore's , you know they are coming tomorrow right ? " And just like that her guards were up. I definitely believe I am her daughter now.

" Yeah I know I'll be there with you to welcome them " I took my files hugged mom and exited the conference room. My steps took me to shivaay's makeshift study room. I peeped in to see he was on a call. Maybe another day I thought  sadly as I walked to my room.

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     I was about to hit my bed when the door was flung open and shivaay stode in with spoons in his hand. On seeing me half on bed he shouted

" Traitor !! You were going to sleep ?what about our deal ? " shivaay and his deals. I am sure he would even dig me out of my grave if I didn't complete his deal.

" Hey I came to you, you were on a call so I thought you were busy " I said in a duh tone.

" Anika there is a opening in my room called a door and you have feet couldn't you come in and wait or you thought i would forget"
Shivaay raised his eyebrow at me.

" Fine my mistake! But I am  tired so can we  skip today, you know there is a thing called tomorrow " I sarcastically said.

" Not happening we are raiding the kitchen tonight only." Shivaay caught my hand and started pulling me. Great I don't even get a choice. Shivaay and me had made a deal to meet everyday and discuss our days over desserts. It was great but I was tired and I had an inkling I was going to drop asleep on the way.

   Both of us digged our spoons in the ice cream tub as we sat on the kitchen counter cross legged, opposite each other. The moment that sweet, cold ice cream was in my mouth, all my tiredness weared off. Sleep whats that.

" So what did you dwo today ? " shivaay asked with a spoon in his mouth. Who would have have thought that shivaay Singh oberoi, the ruthless businessman was a dessert kinda guy.

" I had  a few meetings with the Ngo's in the morning about their role in the coronation ceremony and the donations they could squeeze out of it which went really good. One of the member from the Asha NGO had also brought her kids, they were  so cute you know !! I was heartbroken when I knew their parents left them up for adoption " I said reminiscing the Golden brown eyes of the kid that held all the innocence of the world. I looked down at my hands, playing with my spoon.

"  I know Anika that you won't sit quiet until you do something, tell me what's in your mind I might help " shivaay said with a soft knowing voice.

      He pulled me closer by tugging my hoodie. The sudden move earned him a gasp from me. Now the only thing separating us was the tub which shivaay kept aside, closing the gap between us. I could smell his strong cologne. It was playing with my senses, making me want to pull him even more closer by the collar of his t-shirt. The things you do to me oberoi.

" Anika spill " he said in a low voice lacing our fingers.

" Nothing yet but i will think about it....You know when I looked into those kids eyes, I could see a flash of my childhood before my eyes. I knew the mask of happiness on their face wasn't true. I know as I myself put it up so many times that  I forgot the difference between whats true and whats not....It all started when mom and dad sent me to U.S. How much ever I tried I couldn't shake the feeling of abandonment I felt then " I said my voice getting shaky and eyes teary.

       No I wasn't going to cry. I wouldn't let anyone think I am weak.  Princess 101 never showcase your insecurities.
I detached my fingers from his and started dabbing my eyes, looking away from shivaay. However close we had become I couldn't share my tears with him. And by the hurt look on his face he knew that. I gave him a forced smile.

" Enough about me, tell me how was your day ?"
He took a deep breath and sighed as if he knew I was trying to change the subject.

" Nothing much just meetings about share market and stocks. The usual calls to and fro" he said in a clipped tone. And just like that there were a 100 barricades between us and the atmosphere was thick with awkwardness floating around.

    I wanted to comfort him and tell him that I want to be able to tell him everything but I also needed him to understand that I do not share my dark, sad, past feelings with anyone. They are just for me to try and forget.

" You are coming tomorrow to the garden right ? The Rathore's are coming? And if you won't come i don't know how I will survive so many people" I asked trying to dissipate this atmosphere.

" Yeah sure, my family is an old friend of theirs so we all will be there. Also cannot let my lovely princess get bored now can I ?!" Saying he winked. Thank God my shivaay was back. My shivaay huh Anika, teased my inner self.

"Oh what would I do without you my knight ! " I said flailing my dramatic arms. " Also wear a tux, it makes your face a little more bearable Oberoi" I said giving him a peck on his nose and leaving before he could get over the shock.

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" G could you pass me some confidence?"

" Shut up A, you look gorgeous in that saree !! Come let's go down. The Rathores must be coming." She said when we were giving a final look before going down.

" I knowww but I don't want to trip, fall and give an excuse to all to laugh at me "

" Why do you always think the worst ani? Think about shivaay's open mouthed stare when you walk down " she said grinning.

" I cannot its my mechanism to protect myself from getting hurt ...and FYI if I fall he'll laugh too and  oh my God mom don't even get me started !" I said rubbing her grin off.

" Listen to yourself A, whats got into you ? This is not the Anika I knew in U.S. The Anika i knew was unapologetically herself. What happened?" G said getting frustratingly serious.

" This happened G " I said pointing my arms towards my whole room.
" Coronation, Delegates, Ministers, Shivaay, his mom and my mom so many people with bags of expectations! And so many roles, all of a sudden dumped on a girl who only cared about enjoying her day. Of course I am going to change G  " I huffed after screaming all this in one breath.

   Looking at her stumped face i knew I had poured all my insecurities on her. I sighed. I hated my temper.

" I am sorry gauri..." I hid my face in my hands. Why was I like this.

" You cannot do this A, sit and complain about what happened. I know its bad and you are trying to cope but you cannot go on a hurting spree like that " saying she got up and went away from me just like everyone else did. She was right i had to do something otherwise my demons were going to eat me up.

    I looked in the mirror and saw a beautiful  but flawed girl and I  smilingly whispered to her " Seize the day warrior "

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Hey guys I know I am MIA most of the time so I get your frustration but I'm trying to update as soon as possible! Thanks for bearing
Also this was chapter was more about Anika and how sometimes its only you who can save the day for yourself ! Hope you liked it
P.s - Too much of rathores in this chapter right  !? *wink *

Yours,
Kamakshi ❤