Dammit.

Why did I kick him out? Now I was lonesome. It is fatal when I am alone. I get in my head and soon memories come flooding back.

The blood. His eyes. God, his eyes; the cold, emptiness that filled them as he slipped away, while he whispered he loved me. I never said it back. Why didn't I say it back? It was the one time that I didn't. Maybe he didn't know how much I cherish him? What if he thought I loathed him?

No. I need to put an end to this. Not again. I needed to breathe. I took two deep breaths and wiped away my tears. I pulled my cover closer to my body, wishing Charlie was here to hold me.

Wait? No, that sounds weird.

I shook the thought out of my head and I snuggled into my pillow. I need to get out of this house. I thought back to who I could spend time with. Chichi, was covering my shift. Charlie probably was working, I didn't want to bother him.

I have no friends.

Never mind, I need to woman up and go out. I should do some shopping, cause I can't keep wearing the same trench coat every day.

Maybe I should text him, though?

Me: Hey, I'm sorry if I was harsh earlier x.

Charlie: It's okay, love x.

I smiled at that text. I really enjoyed his accent. It was pleasant. It was almost like Sammy's, but Sammy's was mixed with a German accent. He even spoke in German sometimes, and I'll tell you, it was sexy. I missed him. So much. But he would have wanted me to move on. Be happy.

Charlie: Can I come over again? If not, it's fine I don't want to bother you.

I giggled at his nervousness. Hold up, I giggled? I need to relax; it's just Charlie.

Me: I was actually going shopping, do you want to join me?

He replied in an instant saying yes. A faint smile came to my face. I genuinely didn't like being alone, so I was thrilled for the company.

***

"You can't be serious?" Charlie laughed. He sat across from me in a booth at a diner and ran his hand through his long brown hair. He reached to fasten it up in a bun and sent a smile my way.

"I am being serious, fries dipped in ice cream is really good," I smiled as I placed one of my French fries in my milkshake and ate it. Charlie's face scrunched up, resulting in a laugh from me.

"You're disgusting," He joked and took a sip of his water. I rolled my eyes causing him to chuckle at me. He stared at me for a while, a slight smile on his lips.

"What?" I asked curiously. He merely chuckled and shook his head. I chucked a fry at him and laughed, "Weirdo," I joked. He pretended to die as the fry whacked him. He laid back with his tongue out his mouth, dramatic ass. I giggled and chucked another fry, but he seized it in his mouth.

"Nice catch," I complimented. He winked, "Thank you milady."

Another giggle left my mouth, and I took a bite of my sandwich. I genuinely enjoyed spending time with Charlie. I missed him. We always had a laugh when we were together. But it kind of felt wrong not having Sammy here. I felt like I was betraying him.

Charlie observed my change in mood. He placed his tender hand on mine, which caused me to look up. He smiled passionately, and I tried to return it.

"We'll be okay," He stated, determined. I nodded along, and we continued to eat our meal. Even if I didn't believe it, I didn't want to trouble him.

**

A little while later, Charlie dropped me back off at my apartment. A sigh escaped my mouth as I dropped onto my comfy couch. I could not help but feel ashamed. The way I was feeling wasn't right. It had been a year since Sammy's death, but the thought of dating anyone else felt wrong. The thought of dating Charlie felt wrong.

Besides, it is not like Charlie would ever feel that way towards me. He's too proper for me. He needs a proper girlfriend, not one who is still obsessed with her ex-boyfriend's death.

I ran a hand over my face and sat up. A small creaking sound came from my bedroom. I didn't pay mind to it; it was probably just the house setting. But then I realized I don't live in a house. Another sound came from my room and my heart started to pick up in my chest. I hit speed dial on my phone for Charlie before cautiously making my way towards the bedroom.

When I push open my door, a figure dressed in all black flipped around to look at me. With sweat running down my head, my legs shaking and Charlie saying hello repeatedly on the other line, I ambushed them. A very loud screech escaped my mouth as I jumped on their back.

They were very fit, and a grunt left the person's mouth as they tried to fight me off. The last thing I remember was a intense pain in my head and my vision gradually fading.