Fili rushed into the throne room, where Thorin was reading the Erebor Inquirer quietly.

"Hey uncle! You have an annoying and fabulous visitor!" Fili announced.

"Oh great," Thorin groaned, setting down his magazine. "Let him in."

The doors opened and the ever-so-fabulously-famous Elven king Thranduil strode in, followed by a few elf guards and Tauriel.

"King Thorin! Hello!" he said when he got close enough, with a 10-degree head nod.

"What do you want, Thranduil?" Thorin asked dryly, with a majestic flick of his hair.

"And where's your son?" asked Fili.

"Legolas stayed at home because I knew he'd try to interfere with my business. I think he thinks I'm going to try and steal something, like that would ever happen. Anyway, I'd like to inquire about a certain set of gems," Thranduil replied. "The white gems of pure starlight," he added mystically.

"I'm not handing them over," Thorin said, setting his majestic jaw.

"Alright, then. Bye peasants!" Thranduil said, sashaying out of the room.

"Well, that ended quickly," Fili observed.

  On another side of Erebor, Thranduil was peering into a shaft that emptied water out of the mountain. He turned toward his men.

"Alright. I'm going to climb in there, and you'll haul me back out when I've secured the gems. Ready?" he said, tying a rope around his waist.

"READY!!" said all his men, over-enthusiastically.

Thranduil climbed into the water shaft, and began wriggling into the mountain. Water was constantly flowing beneath him, though it wasn't much. When Thranduil was almost to the end, he saw a shadow loom there.

Bofur walked up to the water-disposal shaft holding a bucket. "Ugh, I hate this job," he said, and dumped the whole bucket of liquid into the shaft.

Thranduil saw a wave of slightly-brown water heading toward him. His eyes widened, but that was all he did before the wave splashed over him. The guards waiting for him at the other end of the shaft were rather surprised when a grease-soaked Thranduil poured out of the shaft.

One of them snorted at 70-decibal volume while trying to withhold his laughter. Thranduil got up and frowned at them all furiously with his fabulous eyebrows.

"Thorin will not give us those gems. I HAVE to find a way to get them!" he said angrily. He fixed his crown of twigs and walked across the mountain. Unfortunately, while he was walking, he bumped into someone; even though that someone was much shorter than him, he still managed to not see him.

Thranduil looked up (but not really) at who he had bumped into. And he instantly wondered how he was going to talk his way out of this.

"Thranduil, why are you still on my mountain?" asked Thorin with a suspicious eyebrow raised.

"I needed to talk privately with my men, so I just found a secluded spot around back," Thranduil said. He was suddenly painfully aware of his brown-stained clothes and hair.

"Uh-huh," Thorin replied, obviously wanting to smile but forcing himself not to.

Tauriel came up behind them. "Um, King Thorin, King Thranduil really wants some of those gems," she said. "Can't you make any allowances?"

Thranduil shot her a death glare. 'I should have left her behind, too,' he thought with annoyance.

Thorin snorted once accidentally when he spoke (but it was a majestic snort).

"Actually, I think I do have something for you," he said. He turned around and strode back into the mountain.

"Should I follow him?" Thranduil asked.

"I guess not," Tauriel replied.

In the mountain, Thorin walked into one of the rooms where some mining was going on. There were a few tables and crates covered in jewels and all that stuff. He walked up to a crate full of amazingly white gems of...well, pure starlight. He set aside a fabulous necklace, and grabbed something else in the crate.

Thranduil was squeegeeing the greasy water out of his hair when Thorin returned.

"You can have this. I'm sure you'll love it!" Thorin said, handing Thranduil a tiny bag that weighed literally nothing.

"Um, thank you. Well, I suppose we'll be off!" Thranduil said. Then he motioned to his troops and they all marched away from the mountain. When Thorin was out of earshot, Thranduil told Tauriel, "That was rather embarrassing. I could tell Thorin was trying not to laugh the entire time!"

Back at the entrance to the mountain, Thorin burst out laughing in a very majestic manner. Fili and Kili's heads popped out from behind rocks.

"Omg, so majestic, am I right?" Kili whispered.

"Sure, Kili, sure," replied Fili.

Then they both stepped out and began laughing with Thorin, who immediately stopped laughing.

"YOU TWO!! Always there!" Thorin exclaimed. But he was still pretty happy. And he was feeling pretty smaug--sorry, smug--about what he had given to Thranduil.

  In Mirkwood, Thranduil settled onto his throne with the teeny bag. "Here we go," he muttered. He opened it to reveal.........one tiny white gem, the size of an atom.

"It's......FABULOUS!!" Thranduil cried, holding up the gem.

Legolas walked up. "Hey, dad, what's that?" he asked.

"It's nothing that concerns you," Thranduil replied, shielding the gem from Legolas's view.

"Whatever," answered Legolas.

  Back in Erebor, Thorin was tucking Kili into bed. (Fili didn't need tucking in -- he's at least 20% too majestic for that.)

"Hey, uncle, what was in that little bag you gave to Thranduil?" Kili asked with a yawn.

"One of my white gems of pure starlight, Kili," Thorin replied. "And it was probably the biggest one I'll ever give to him!"

_________________________________

Hey readers, I'd just like to say thanks for all the support, but I've noticed no one's sending in any dares. If you didn't hear, I'm collecting dares for the characters! They'll all come out in a story once I have enough. I can't wait till then!

(I should really stop putting notes at the end of my stories, shouldn't I...)