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T h e   H o l l o w s   I n
O U R  F R E E D O M
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I watched Jace stir the hot chocolate mixture into the second mug as I sniffed.

"Please don't laugh at me." I said, sounding so weak. I hated being weak.

He frowned at me, his eyes conveying shock. "I wasn't going to." He told me earnestly, passing me my hot chocolate. I ducked my head, letting my dark hair cover my face like a thick curtain.

We were sat on the bed opposite each other. I sat cross-legged whilst Jace maintained his therapist persona, and still appearing laid back. I probably looked relaxed from a third point of view, but inside I was trembling.

I didn't drink from the mug, instead, I held the mug close to me, as if relishing in the calm it brought me. I closed my eyes, feeling on edge.

"Whenever you're ready." He told me. I liked that he didn't give me the choice to back out. It didn't feel restraining, it just felt like I had a safe haven to fall back on.

With my eyes still shut, the warmth of the hot chocolate in my hands, and the feeling of Jace's presence in front of me, I began.

"For as long as I could remember, my parents used to fight. All the time." With my eyes shut, it was so easy to imagine. But I didn't want to relive it. So, instead, I opened my eyes and looked at Jace, who was staring at me intently.

"It was always my mum at my dad. He wasn't a bad person," I told him, "he just– he was kind of an alcoholic...and a druggie." I watched Jace keep his perfectly not judging therapist face.

"The arguing got so relentless that, when I was about eight or nine, we left. Well, my mum decided to leave, and I had to come with her. She didn't want to leave me with my dad, despite my protests." I paused to take a sip from my hot chocolate, finding comfort in it. Jace hadn't even touched his, even though it was his idea to make them.

"When I was ten or eleven, my mum's boyfriend moved in. Fred." His name even disgusted me. I took another sip of my hot chocolate, already envisioning the next part of the story.

Jace was still listening as intently as ever, no judging in his face.

"One night, I was sitting on my bed—it was around nine at night and I was almost ready for bed. I had the main lights off, and the only light I had was coming from a small plug-in night light beside my bedside table." I smiled at the idea of it. But the story wasn't so innocent.

"It was from my dad. I had never been one of those children who was scared of the dark. In fact, growing up, I wasn't scared of much at all—if anything. I didn't have the light because I was scared of the dark, I had it because it reminded me of my dad—and I missed him...so much." I started to tear up, but I hoped Jace wouldn't notice. Then again, he was quite observant.

"My mum's boyfriend was walking past my room, and came in. I hated him. He was rude and undeserving of my mum. He had no heart. But she couldn't see that." I anticipated the next part, my hands growing clammy. I brought my mug up to my lips, trying to keep a hold on it.

I took a sip. "He came in, and pulled a face of disgust when he saw the night light." I swallowed, looking into Jace's eyes. It calmed me. And it allowed me to see him and only him, and not the horrible memories.

"He asked why I had it. But I just couldn't answer him; he scared me." I spoke the last sentence quietly, admitting one of the things I was scared of. "He assumed that I was scared of the dark, and continued to mock me." I told Jace, trying to bite back the tears. I shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut to try to shut out the pain. But as before, it only made the memories more vivid.

So I snapped my eyes open, taking Jace in once more. "He ripped it from the socket, and lunged at me. He held me by the neck, pressing the plug needles so hard into my skin, I swear they nearly pierced through." I think my eyes went vacant. I was trying to block out the pain of it all.

"If my mum hadn't made noise down the hallway, I think he would've tried to impale me. But he didn't. That was the start of the abuse. And it never ended, not until I left to train to be a Guardian." Jace's hot chocolate was growing cold by the minute, but he didn't seem to care; he was too immersed in my story.

"He took the light with him that night, and I remember sobbing until I fell asleep. In the dark. Without the light from my dad—my only piece of him." The tears started to form. "I had assumed that he threw the light out, but a few weeks later, as I left for school, I saw it on the side of the road. I knew it was my night light—I recognised the gold painted rings on the rose petals. But it was smashed. In a thousand pieces." I tried to hold back a whimper, but it came out anyway.

"I couldn't focus in school that day, I just kept crying. Whenever someone would ask me what was wrong, it just made it worse. I was too embarrassed to tell them about the night light, never mind the fact that my mum's boyfriend had been hitting me." My body trembled.

I shook my head, furiously wiping away at the few tears that had escaped. "I'm sorry. I can't sleep in the dark. Nor be in it. I just can't."

Jace took my mug off me, and placed the two mugs on the floor. Once he returned upright, he pulled me in for a tight embrace.

I was surprised for a while, but it didn't take long for me to melt into him. I let him hold me as I sobbed. But I wasn't ashamed; it felt good to let it all out. I don't think I have ever done that before.

Eventually, Jace pulled away, but held me by the arms still. "We can keep the lights on." Was all he said and I smiled, thanking him with only the gratitude in my eyes as I sniffed.

With that, he removed his hands from my body, and a little warmth left. But it wasn't much; I could still feel his presence around me. He turned his lamp on, joining mine, and then turned the main lights off.

He turned to look at me, and I nodded, a small smile on my face.

"Thank you." I told him, ducking my head. He didn't say anything, and instead walked around to his side of the bed and slipped under the covers. I shortly did the same, and we laid next to each other, inches apart. The bed was quite small for a double, which made it pretty awkward for Jace and I, but I actually didn't mind it. I was comfortable and calm.

"Goodnight." I murmured to him, before turning over on my left side so that I faced the lamp. I closed my eyes, hearing him wish me good night in return, before I felt the bed dip.

I wasn't sure what side he had turned on, but I decided I didn't care.

He made the monsters go away.
And that was all that mattered to me.

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This chapter would've took a whole lot quicker to edit if SOMEONE LEFT MY SEAT ALONE FFFSSSS

I HAVE BACK PROBLEMS AS IT IS

anyway

Anyone else break reading this ? 💔

Alexi 😭

Have your opinions on Lexi changed?
What do you think of Jace now?
Was he just being a therapist or was he being kind to Lexi?
Shipping?

Tune in next time, until then

-cry

FABULOUS SONGS

Songs that played when I was writing this chapter (in order):
Beneath Your Beautiful - Labrinth
Burden (Mr FijiWiji Remix) - Subtact
Like I Can - Sam Smith
Waves - Dean Lewis
Explosions - Ellie Goulding
Fantasy - MS MR
Parade - Meg Myers
November - Gabrielle Aplin
Writer - Ellie Goulding
watch - Billie Eilish
Dark Doo Wop - MS MR
Let Her Go - Passenger

END OF FABULOUS SONGS

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Next update: Monday (this is still so exciting lmao more updates)
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CHAPTER EIGHTEEN SPOILER:

The warm aftermath, the cold outside.

Lexi finds a room, a boy and has a hole in her heart. She's all set.