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T h e H o l l o w s I n 
O U R F R E E D O M
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I have fought many beasts in my seventeen years of life—of that, just under half has been as a Guardian.

But never one like this.

My own beast.

I'd fought secrets, enemies and even authorities.

But never anything like this; it terrified me.

Completely alone, it was worse. I had to decide between running up to the main building of the hotel or running back to Jace. I was nearer to the main hotel.

It would've been cleverer to run to the main building of the hotel, but I was beginning to panic.

A panic attack, something I had fortunately not experienced since I was fourteen. I keep avoiding the darkness, and it's easier when you can control it yourself, and especially easier when you have a night light or a torch.

I had nothing.

I decided that I wanted something. Company.

In a panicked moment, I span and began to head where I had come from.

I needed Jace.

"Jace!" I yelled, feeling my lungs start to constrict. I furiously wiped at the tears that began to fall from my eyes as I stumbled around.

I was running now, but it horrified me; I couldn't see anything.

I continued to hurry along the corridor, gulping and rubbing my clammy hands against my coat.

But it was too hard. I felt like I was running endlessly, round and round in circles that never ended.

And then the panic really did set in. I halted, finding a wall to rest against. Then I started sobbing. I fell to the floor, my panic attack taking its full course.

I was heaving when I felt someone grab onto me. I screamed, feeling them shove something into my mouth. It felt like plastic. And then I felt as they tightened their grip, and a gust of fresh air burst in.

Then I realised what it was.

"Shh, Lexi, it's Jonah—I have your inhaler."

My inhaler.

It was always a difficulty pretending that my inhaler was for asthmatic purposes, and not because of my panic attacks. But I think that maybe there's something wrong with my lungs, anyway; I've seen many stories where people having panic attacks don't need asthma pumps. I just didn't need mine all the time—just when I throw myself off a brick wall, or dive into a very deep pond.

Yes, those are some stupid things I have done before.

My breathing relaxed, and I felt as my panic attack started to disappear. You're okay, Alexi. Fred isn't here. He can't hurt you. The darkness can't hurt you. You're okay.

I closed my eyes, deciding I wanted to be in control of the darkness. Jonah had sat down beside me, and enveloped me in his arms. I took few pauses between each dose of my asthma pump.

Soon, Jonah spoke up. "Be careful you don't overdose." I think it was meant to be a joke, but I ignored it, still focused on trying to calm myself down.

It was growing hard to as the darkness continued, but after a few moments, the lights flickered on again.

I snapped my eyes open, feeling my panic dissolve quicker than it had rushed through me in the first place. That was the weird thing; I was only scared of the dark when it was there. When I was in it. When the lights were on, I returned to my usual reckless and strong-willed self. It was strange. But I was happy to be at peace once more.

Once my mind was clear, only one thought made an impression. Jace.

"Thank you, Jonah, so much—I'll meet you back at the rooms." With that, I rushed away, only seeing Jonah's confused expression before I turned.

I rounded a corner, and smashed right into someone.

"Shit." I cursed, stumbling back and rubbing at my forehead, which was probably throbbing—I was just trained to ignore the pain.

"Lex?" My head snapped upwards, recognising the voice—the only voice that would call me 'Lex' around here.

"Jace." I breathed out, closing the distance slightly. "Are you okay?" He didn't answer, and instead launched himself at me, pulling me in for the tightest and warmest hug I think I'd ever had. I knew that, because people rarely hugged me.

It took me a moment to process what was happening, but when I did, I wrapped my arms around him. I pulled him closer to me before resting my head against his chest—even though my forehead reached up to his lips. And I could feel his heartbeat; it was racing.

He pulled away abruptly. "Are you okay?" He asked, holding me close still. I looked up at him, my breath falling short.

"Uh–" I brushed my hair back, drinking in more of him. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine." As always when he was close, it took me a while to compose myself.

"Are you sure?" He asked, staring deep into my eyes. I think he was using his therapist eyes, but I didn't care, as long as they were on me.

I tried to avert my eyes, but I couldn't. So I told him the truth, leaving myself exposed. "No, not really. I had a panic attack." At the mention of my panic attack, I felt embarrassed; I tore my eyes away from him, lowering my head and letting my hair cover my face.

I didn't see or sense him reach forward. But he did; his fingers brushed my hair away, and they got caught—at least, that's what I presumed, since his fingers stayed interwoven in my hair longer than they had to. I looked up, watching him withdraw his hands from my hair, and he took a step back.

My heart broke a little, but I pretended that it didn't.

"How do you feel now? Do you want to–"

"Hey guys, I've been trying to find you for ages—are you–oh." I jolted around to see Sky slowly approaching us.

"Did I interrupt anything?" She asked, looking troubled at the very idea of disturbing a conversation. Sometimes I wondered just how big her heart was.

Jace became engrossed with her, saying, "no, of course not."

Albeit fumbling slightly, I jumped on her immediately. "What are you doing down here?" I asked her. "I thought you were going to your room or something–"

"–I never said I was going to my room," Sky interjected after she rolled her eyes. "I told Jace I was going to walk around for a bit; I'm not a child. And, anyway, I could ask you the exact same thing."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Well you should know better to walk around in clearly abandoned corridors." I snapped at her.

"Then so should you." She threw back, clearly not interested in exercising her supposed 'big heart'.

"I'm not the one sitting on the top of the Endangered Persons list." I seethed, taking steps towards her. I was taller than her, and she knew that—she just apparently didn't feel like being intimidated by that.

She scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest as she approached me, using the exact same tactics I was using. "You're the one saying the Academy was one big lie; maybe they lied about that too."

My lips parted.
I hadn't thought about that.

I tried to keep the hesitation out of my features, and I think it worked. We'd always been taught to mask our feelings; our enemies could sniff it out for miles, and it would make us more of a desirable target—the weakest ones first.

"We don't know that for sure," I responded. "So I suggest that until then you actually listen to your Guardians."

She glanced away for a moment, and I thought she was going to retreat her argument, but then she said, "Jameson wouldn't get this mad."

I felt a pang in my stomach. I had always had fears that Sky would have to choose only one Guardian, and that it would be Jameson. I think she just choose.

I swallowed. Never defeated, Abbot, never defeated. "Okay," I responded. She frowned. "Just let me know if you want to be buried or cremated." After that, I span around and stalked off.

Winning arguments was my forté. Even if the argument was with my best friend, it still has to be won by someone. So although I hoped I hadn't just broken the relationship we had kept so sacredly, I was glad that I could walk away with victory.

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Welp beef

Which of our muffins are y'all supporting in this battle ??

Team Alexi??
Team Sky??

Team me?...no?

Also I really missed two update days lmao
(One was technically optional so one)

I have questions (- Camila Cabello)

Thoughts on Lexi and her panic?
Thoughts on Jonah helping Lexi?
Thoughts on Jace?
Thoughts on Jace and Lexi?
Thoughts on Jace still liking Sky (eye roll)?
Thoughts on Sky and Lexi's argument?

Ik it's a lot but I'd really like it handed in by later on today since I'm really out here double posting and then tomorrow too

If you really can't do it for today then you can do it for tomorrow

Okay thanksssss

-welce

FABULOUS SONGS

Songs that played when I was writing this chapter (in order):
Don't Let Me Go - RAIGN
Run and Hide - Sabrina Carpenter
After You - Meg Myers
November - Gabrielle Aplin
I Want You so Bad - Glades
Take Me With You - Fleurie
Summer Air - Glades
Salt Skin - Ellie Goulding
Speechless - Glades
All I Need - Foxes
Salty Sweet - MS MR
Gateway Drug - Bebe Rexha
Don't Let Me Down - Fleurie

END OF FABULOUS SONGS

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Next update: I mean
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CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO SPOILER:

Tempers rise inside a room where friction creates sparks and the walls are made of paper.

Lexi takes an old friend on an adventure to forget, but who misses out?