Broken Love by: a_random_creature
Requested by: a_random_creature

I am liking the story so far despite it being a fanfic. I like the characters and the plot so far despite the chapters being rather short. But I did notice something about some of your sentences in the first few chapters.

Ok. So, I am showing this screenshot of your story because I had noticed the over usage of periods in your sentences which isn't necessary. Like you could have used a comma in the first and second sentence and a period at the end of your second one and it still would have been fine. I noticed this same problem with a few other sentences in other chapters as well. So, I would recommend fixing that and it should be fine once it's edited. Since you don't need that many periods in between the dialogue.

Other than that, there were no their grammar errors that I could find in the story.

Overall, I would recommend this book to anyone who is interested in reading it and it does have potential to be a great story. There be trigger warnings for self harm and child abuse so, if that triggers you in anyway then I won't recommend reading this story.

Thanks for letting me review your book.

-Traveler_lilly