Thawed: Weiss x Male Reader by: Arashi_Stories
Requested by: Arashi_Stories

I like the story and plot of it so far and I am definitely a fan of RWBY but there are a couple things that I want to address in this review.

One being that I found a couple grammar errors in your story and would totally recommend editing it.

Two being that you should separate your dialogue and descriptions within your story. This is a problem for a lot of new writers starting out because they usually think that they have to put walls and walls of dialogue and descriptions together and that it's fine. Usually in a book that you read or write, you normally don't do this because it makes it difficult to read and it's hard to tell the difference between your dialogue and descriptions plus it will turn off most readers who want to read your book but can't because it's a wall of text and not separated into smaller paragraphs or sentences.

So, I would totally recommend editing it and taking the time to look at some examples of books like City of bones by Cassandra Clare or A Darker shade of magic by V.E. Schwab to really see how you could improve your writing style and how the descriptions and dialogue are set up within the story. This will totally help you in the long run when writing more of your story and other books.

Finally there is one thing that I want to mention before I end this review. That is why your chapters are labeled as chapters 2-24. Like are you editing chapter 1 and forgot to post it or did you mis count when coming up with the number of chapters that you have in the story.

Overall, it has potential to be a great story, but it just needs a little editing and work to do so.

Thanks for letting me review your book.

-Traveler_lilly