this pic makes me so sad bc it's my precious lil baby Matt crying and I cant handle it :(

Mello's POV

As we land in Japan, I can't help noticing Matt seems nervous, he isn't playing videogames, he isn't talking, he isn't doing anything Matt would normally do, he's just looking out of the window, he's been silent all the trip and I'm getting concerned, he hasn't said a word since our talk at Wammy's. He seemed slightly depressed, I don't like that thought, Matt has always been the one to crack up a joke when I'm not in the mood for human interaction... what's the matter?

"Mail" I snap him out of his thoughts, but he doesn't look at me "Matt, we're here, we have to go, Watari is probably waiting for us" Matt looks at me, I can see sadness in his eyes... that, and maybe some tears forming in them... no, he can't cry, he doesn't deserve to be sad, he has to be all smiles and happiness "okay, snap out of it" well... maybe that's a bit too harsh, but too bad, I've already said it.

He looks down, I hate knowing him so well, that way I can't see through him because he knows how to hide stuff from me. I see a few tears running down his face "I can't" he says almost inaudibly. Is he kidding me?! He can't be serious, he can't? He can't what? Help us catch B?

I frown "you can't? What do you mean you can't? Of course you can!" I try encouraging him, but I'm slighty annoyed by his statement, so it isn't really working...

I tilt his head back up to look at me "well then, maybe I don't want to" he argues, he is extremely pissed off now, I can't see many things in him but this is something he's letting me know himself. What's wrong with him? He sighs "let's go" I look at him and he takes his backpack (okay, just imagine lil Matty with a backpack im crying he's so cute) 

He gets up and leaves the plane, me following close. After 15 minutes of waiting for our suitcases -pretty huge and heavy to belong to two guys who have lived in an orphanage all their lives-, we head outside and the first thing I notice is that Matty is looking depressed, and I don't like that one bit, but I don't want to say anything just yet, he can get through this, I know he can, he's always been happy, and we're in Japan, there's no reason for him to feel this way anymore. Watari picks us up and takes us to a tall building.

We're greeted by L himself and a brunette guy, he looks slightly older than Matt, but he's nowhere near as good looking as him. No offense but... yeah.

We all talk for about an hour and when the brunette guy -whose name now I know as Light Yagami- leaves, L speaks up "guys, I have something important to tell you" that gets mine and Matt's attention "since you two are helping me with the Kira case too, I think you should know that Light is the main suspect for now, and that this is a really dangerous case in which any of us can die"

I frown "die? I thought Kira needed a face and a name to kill" I say, L nods "then why is it dangerous for us?  We'd never give anyone our real names, we don't want to get ourselves killed" Matt looks down, frowning lightly "at least I don't want myself nor either of you to die"

"That wouldn't be a problem if we were just trying to catch Kira... but if for some reason he meets B, we're all dead" he explains.

"Why? Wouldn't it be a problem to B? He's the criminal after all, not us" I question. Matt doesn't seem to be worried about any of this, and that is literally killing me now, why is he acting so oddly? Does he miss Wammy's? Or...

"Yeah, but he can be really helpful to Kira" what? Helpful to Kira? How come? "Have you guys ever heard of Shinigami?" Matt and I shake our heads "here, in Japan, Shinigami are the gods of death, and apparently they can see people's real names and they can see their lifespan... B has got the Shinigami eye, which is what can give a human the power to see the names and lifespan of other humans" I frown, why did I not know any of this? "So if B and Kira happen to meet it can be fatal for all of us"

"So we can lie to everyone but B? That means he already knows our names!" I exclaim, I glance at Matt, who's looking down... fuck, why is he like this? I want him to be a smiley sunshine, not a sad one.

"So, we can't get Light to meet BB?" He asks.

"Not if we want to live" L says, I look at Matt, he looks so sad and it makes me sad to see him like this, L also seems to notice something's wrong "Matt, are you okay?" He asks, Matt looks at him and fakes a smile, nodding.

"Hey, Ryuzaki, can you come here for a second please?" Light calls from upstairs, L gets up and follows Light to a room... well, I wonder what kind of relationship these two have... just saying.

Matt stays silent, but I can't "okay, let's go somewhere, I want to know what's really wrong" I demand, he frowns and shakes his head, still not saying a word "Matt, I'm not going to sit around and wait for something to happen to you on some kind of fucked up suicidal mission to know what's wrong with you"

"No" he says, his voice breaking... oh shit "there's nothing wrong, if something was wrong, you would be the first one to know"

"I already know something's wrong, I just don't know what, and if you won't talk to me, who are you going to tell?" We're both in the limit, I know we're going to snap any second, but I don't care, I need him to be happy, he's my best friend, and he deserves nothing but happiness.

"I- I just- I can't" he stutters "I'm not like you and Near... I- I'm not worth these cases, I'm not worth L" if I wasn't heartbroken before, now I am.

"You're not worth it?! Matt, are you fucking kidding me?" He looks at me, his green eyes glassy and teary "well, I guess you're not... you're worth so much more" he starts trembling and I begin to really process what's really happening.

He really is depressed... but why? Why does he feel this way? And what is he capable of doing about it? "I'll be right back" he says before standing up and walking up the stairs, I want to follow him, I want to make sure he's okay... but he won't hurt himself, I know him well enough to know that.

But 20 minutes pass and he hasn't come back yet.