Elena's POV:

I regain conciousness without opening my eyes.

A cool breeze hits my face and blows some strands of my jet black hair into my face. I don't brush them away. I don't even move. I just lay there enjoying the relative quiteness. Birds chirp happily outside the window and I can hear the green leaves of the trees rustling in the wind, along with what may be a car's engine reving in the distance. I take a deep breath and enjoy it. Suddenly, I am aware of my bed shifting as well as another noise. A sigh.

My eyes flutter open. My sight is very blury and out of focus at first but even then I can make out the blury silohuette of a person sitting on the edge of my head. As my vision sharpens, the image becomes clear. Soda. He leans his head against the window frame, staring intently out the window. He doesn't seem to notice that I've woken up.

My brain registers a clammy, warm feeling around my hand. My eyes flit down to my left hand and find it to be wrapped in Sodapop's loose grip. I give it a squeeze.

That gets his attention. His head turns to me and I stare up at him. He has dark circles under his eyes; Soda got no sleep. I study his face and he studies mine, no one says a word. His thumb grazes the back of my hand in a comforting way. I appreciate it.

He smiles meekly. "You're awake..."

I let out a breathy laugh and use my free hand to run my hands through my knotted hair. "Yeah..."

He looks down at his lap, thinking. I can see the worry etched on his face.

"You didn't sleep last night, did you?" I ask quietly.

He shakes his head ever so slightly. I feel bad, I got a full night's sleep. It's probably about noon right now.

"I'm too worried." he says. I sigh, pursing my lips. "About Darry, about Ponyboy and Johnny. About you."

I bite my lip and overt my eyes from Sodapop's.

"Elena...?" I don't look at him. "Can I please talk to you...about last night..."

I swallow thickly. My voice is barely a whisper. "What about it?"

Soda shakes his head and looks at me with a mix of sadness, worry, and confusion. "What happened with you and Johnny last night."

I shrug. "Nothing."

"Elena..."

"I'm fine."

He puts a finger under my chin and forces me to look at him. "Come on, El..."

I clasp my hands in my lap and turn my head in the opposite direction as soon as he releases my chin so I can try to hide the tears welling in my eyes. I am quiet for a long time. So long that Soda probably doesn't expect it when I start talking. I don't look at him, but I tell him the full story. I don't omit anything. Not with Sodapop. He's my older brother and he just wants to help me. He's always so kind and caring...and right now, he's really all I have family wise. Darry isn't an option.

By the end of the story I can't hold my tears back anymore. They flow freely down my cheecks and I start to choke on my surpressed sobs. I hate crying, yet I've cried so much lately. I hate it. And I hate myself for what I've done.

"Elena..." Soda sighs. He wraps me in his arms and I start to bawl into his shoulder. He just holds me while I cry and he doesn't let me go, even when I've calmed down. When all that'sleft are a few tears and some hiccups, he runs his hand over the hair on the back of my head. "Elena, it will be okay. I promise."

I nod against him. He holds me for a few more minutes and then I pull away, swiping away the remaining tears that wet my face with the back of my hand. Hopefully he's right.

Suddenly my bedroom door swings open and hits the wall with a loud BANG. Darry bursts into the room, the Tulsa newspaper clenched in one hand. He seems a mixture of flustered, furious, and scared.

Soda and I stare at Darry startled. He says nothing just strides towards us, flips through the paper, and shoves it into Soda's hands. On the page are photographs of Ponyboy and Johnny... Oh no. I skim through the article, not really knowing what to expect.

Murder. They were accused of murder. 

This....this.....no.........

This can't be true.

This can't be happening.

I glance over over at Soda as he finishes reading, his jaw dropped, disbelief clearly written on his face.  His eyes move to meet mine and then we both stare up at Darry. He stares at the two of us with emotionless mask, although I know that he is thinking the same as I am. That Sodapop is. We stare at eachother for a moment.

Then all hell breaks loose.

Darry begins to scream at Soda and I but I can't make out who's saying what after about 10 seconds. It's all just a blur of sounds and movement and it's starting to make my head spin. It continues on and on for about ten minutes, although I can't be sure. It feels like an eternity to me. Soda gets so frustrated and upset about what's going on that he bursts into tears and screams. He leaves the room in a hurry and I hear him scream in anger as he slams his bedroom door. I stare out after him. Darry continues to yell after him and then turns to me, but I still don't hear him. It's too much.

"ELENA!"

I flinch as I snap out of my haziness and stare at Darry in sheer fear. Will he hit me too? 

"WERE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?"

"I...I...I'm so sorry..." Dry sobs choke me as I struggle to breathe. I would cry if I had any tears left to. Instead I just lean as far away from Darry as I can and stutter.

"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?"

"P-please do-don't hit me-e l-like you did Ponyboy-y! Please!"

Darry's voice breaks. "Oh my g- Elena... El I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." He steps towards me and touches my arm. I flinch away.

"Don't touch me!" I scream. "Leave me alone!"

"El..."

I glare daggers at him. He sighs, hangs his head, and turns to leave. He leaves quickly, but I still catch what he mumbles before I am out of earshot. "I'm sorry... I'm just going to go to work..."

For a while I just lay on my bed, silent and thinking. I try to decide what would maybe cheer me up. Take my mind off of this terrible situation. Sam.

I will go and see Sam. But first, there is something I have to do.

I pull two papers and a pen out of my desk drawer and set them out in front of me on my bed. I ponder for a minute searching for the words that I need to say. The words to explain how I feel. The words. They run over and over in my head. No, no, no....and finally, perfect. I put the pen to the paper and it all just flows out like I'm not writing at all. I escape into my own mind and all I can think about are the thought being transfered from my mind to the paper. To the letter to my boyfriend. And to my twin brother.

They may never read them. I know that. But I don't care. I need to get it out or I'm going to explode. I will not be a bottle. I will not.

Finally, when I am satisfied, and feeling relatively lighter, I set them both down on my bed with my pen. I sigh and smile a little bit to myself. 

I stand. Time to go see Samantha. Quickly, bringing my pen with me, I go to my desk drawer once more. I take a smaller peice of paper, scribble a note on it for Soda, and drop the pen back into the tin on my desk. 

I exit my room quietly, putting the door to, and walk down the hall towards Soda and Ponyboy's room. I stop when I'm outside of their room. I can hear Soda in there crying. Sighing sadly, I put my ear to the door, and then turn the knob. I tiptoe over to where Soda lays face down on his bed, sobbing. I put my one hand on the back of his head like he head just done to me. He doesn't even have to look to know it's me. My touch is too gentle to be Darry's, plus, Darry wouldn't do this anyways. I move my hand to his back and rub it gently. He shudders and I keep doing this until the sobbing starts to quiet down. 

"I'm sorry..." Soda chokes out. "You shouldn't have to see me like this."

I smile sadly. "It's alright Soda...it will be okay...right?"

"Mhmm," he mumbles into his pillow.

"Okay. I was thinking of heading down to Sam's...?" I ask tentitively. Of course, if he needs me to, I will stay here with him. If he needs me.  

"Of course," he sniffs. "I just need to be alone for a while, okay?"

"Okay. Bye Sodapop..."

"Bye, El."

I back out of the room and shut the door. Walking quietly down the hall. Somehow I know that he's not quite done crying yet. Poor Sodapop. It kills me to see my family this way.

I decide to leave my note for Darry instead, so on my way out the door, I leave it stuck in the door when I shut it.

Quickly, I head down the street, eager for a way to escape this chaos. Just for a while.