It seemed unfair that no matter how much he strived to be the man his conscience wanted him to be, it would keep taunting him with his failures. Each time he closed his eyes the image of her betrayed hurt expression haunted him. The heart wrenching broken sobs echoed over and over in his mind taunting him, reminding him. Then the image of her wrapped in Logan's arms would come to him like a slap in his face, a punishment for what he had done, for what he had allowed to go too far.

The thought of loosing her for good caused his body to go numb with panic. His heart felt as though it was caught in a vice like grip being squeezed until at last it work stop. Subconsciously he put his hand to his chest and kneaded the flesh over his heart, the pain was becoming physical.

He longed to be able to go back in time, make better choices, stand up for what was right but that was not possible. Just like it was impossible to take back what he had done.

He tried to forget. Leave the past behind. But he couldn't do it when he saw her from the distance each day at work, so near yet so far. Mercilessly showing him what he wanted most in this world but couldn't have.

She had changed the color of her hair, she had gone full black, it was bold and beautiful more fitting with her young and restless personality. As the Day of their lives passed on Javier watched her come to terns with what was, he could see her accepting it, adjusting to life without him and he hated it.

“te odio!” He yelled as his fist clenched and unclenched at his side. “I was young! I just wanted to follow my dreams, go to college and make something of myself and you ruined my life!”

He turned to glare at the headstone.

“You always wanted things your way! On your time! You were so selfish! So beautiful… You didn't deserve to be so beautiful! You used it to manipulate everyone! Even me!”

“You did this to Bethany! You taunted her day and night even after you forced me to choose you or you would  have made her life hell. I chose you but I lost her! I watched her change into someone I didn't even know! She was my best friend and you took her! Just like you took Logan from me! You played him because you knew he was weak to you, turned him against me! I thought you were a good person when I met you but you weren't, it just took me too long to figure that out. You prisoned me with the love I felt for you. I've been walking around for seven years feeling guilty that after the devastation of you dying faded away. I felt...relieved”

“Lo siento. lo siento mucho” he wailed as he fell to his knees on the grave. He cried silently. Unaware that he had an audience from the beginning of his confession.

“Why?” He heard Logan say from behind him.

Javier turned to look at him. “How long have you been standing there?” He asked him.

“You had me at te odio!” Logan replied in a poor imitation of Javier's voice.

“So from the start then” Javier concluded

“I have to admit, when I heard you say I hate you I thought you had realized I was standing here. But as your confession went on I realized you weren't at all talking to me”

“I don't hate you Logan. I thought I did but I don't. I've been mad at you. Mad that you chose her over our friendship. I knew how you felt about her even though you never had the guts to tell me”

“You could have said something”

“I knew how much it would hurt you Logan. I loved her but ...actually I don't know what I felt for her. I just know what I feel now and its nothing but hate.”

“You're in love with her” said Logan

“No I'm not I just told you…”

“Jessica, you're in love with Jessica”

“Yes”

"Then fight for her."

Javier got up and brushed the dirt from his pants. With a last look back at the grave he turned to leave.

“Aren't you coming?” He called over his shoulder

“No. There's something I need to do here”

He nodded in understanding then left. He got in his car and drove back to the gallery at a speed that could have no doubt landed him a fat speeding ticket if a cop had bothered to stop him.

“Where is she?” He asked Mary when he walked inside.

“Filing room” Mary replied

“Thank you”

He hurried pass his office and down the hall and pushed open the door to the file room. He stopped and looked at Jessica. She was looking through a box of files. He knew she became aware of his presence when he saw her body tense up.

“Beautiful…”

She looked up at him with accusing eyes but amongst that he saw tears. She picked up the files and made to walk pass him but he reached out and grabbed her hand.

“Let me go!” She ordered

“Never!” He replied

“Javier let go of me.”

“We need to talk.”

“No we don't!”

She pulled her hand away and rushed toward the door.

“I am not ready to lose you!” He shouted. His voice broke on the last word.

It was enough for her to stop. She didn't turn around so he went to her.

“I messed up. I hurt you and it kills me inside to know that I did. Every time I close my eyes and I see your face broken with hurt and betrayal I feel like the lowest scumbag that walks this earth. If I could go back in time I wouldn't have been so foolish. It terrifies me to know that what I did might cause me to lose you for good. I can't lose you Jessica. I love you"

As the seconds went on to turn into a minute he was almost certain his his heart would beat into overdrive by the fast pace at which it was beating. He wanted so much to touch her but he was afraid of what her reaction would be.

“I love you too” she finally replied

He released a relieved breath. “You do?”

She turned to face him.

“Yes Javier I do, but I cant be with you. I wouldn't be able to trust you again.”

"Jessica please." he took a step forward and stopped when she too a step back.

"You let her... Her mouth was on... How do I forget that?  It's stuck in my head. " she grabbed her hair and he wanted so badly to pull her hands away but the devastation on her face had him rooted in place.

"I'm so sorry. I tried to stop her. " he told her quietly

"Not hard enough. " she said releasing her hair.

"Are you going to choose Logan now? " he asked he was almost too scared waiting for her answer.

"It doesn't matter. " she said

"I'm going to fight for you." he told her.

"That's your choice."

She turned and walked out closing the door behind her with a soft click.  Javier felt tired,  confused,  scared but he knew he wouldn't give up.

Leave me some feedback and votes! Let me hear your thoughts.

Thanks for reading!