It was decided. Lucinda was going to leave Merrill's home the following Thursday. They mapped her journey out together, landing on Breeze Bay as her destination. It was a small tourist beach town and about a fourteen hour drive from Merrill's home. The location seemed perfect, since it was far away, but not far enough that Merrill couldn't visit.

In the days that followed, Lucinda took the time to gather her things from her home. Duncan was a big help as she sifted through her things trying to decide what to take with her. She figured she wouldn't need to take much other than clothing and toiletries, and the rest she could purchase at garage sales. A small part of her also wanted to leave the rest behind so that it could be there waiting for her when she decided to visit. But ONLY to visit. Breeze Bay would become her home.

As she sat on the floor in her living room, a spread of empty boxes around her, she paused and studied Duncan while he flipped through her music collection. Admittedly she had grown fond of him. Sure he was a silly teenaged boy, but he was transitioning into adulthood, and when Merrill wasn't around to tease him, Duncan actually had deep thoughts about the world. He looked up at her with his honey brown eyes, sensing her watching him and he blushed.

"Ever heard of them?" Lucinda asked as he held a vinyl of Thin Lizzy in his hands.

"No." He shook his head.

"Go ahead, put it on." She nodded toward her record player.

On his knees, he scooted toward the record player which sat on the entertainment center by the fireplace. He rolled up the sleeves on his red flannel shirt and carefully set the vinyl on the record player before moving the needle over so it could start. The light rhythm of guitars and drums filtered through the speakers and Duncan sat back on his heels to listen. Lucinda watched him with curiosity, wondering if he'd recognize the song.

"Isn't this... a Metallica song?" he asked with a tilt of his head as he scratched it.

"Whiskey in the Jar?" Lucinda laughed softly. "Nope. It's a Thin Lizzy song, which Metallica did a cover of."

"It's a lot slower than the Metallica one..." he stared off, as if trying to concentrate on the music. "I think I actually like it better slowed down like this."

"Me too." Lucinda smiled.

They sat there as the song played on and Duncan proceeded to flip through Lucinda's vinyl collection. "You like a lot of old stuff."

"They belonged to my parents. In fact, almost everything in this house belonged to them and I just can't bring myself to throw any of it away."

"Well, they had pretty good taste in music. I mean, look at this stuff," he said as he held out a spread of vinyls. "Jimmi Hendricks, Led Zeppelin, Bob Marley, Blondie..."

"Yep and the best part is that they got to see almost every single band or musician in that entire collection of records," Lucinda replied as she scooted closer to the wooden crate full of her parent's music.

"No way!" Duncan narrowed his eyes skeptically. "You mean to tell me that they got to see Jimmi Hendricks before he died?"

"Yep!" She giggled, excitedly. "They actually saw him at the infamous concert where he lit his guitar on fire."

"No way!" Duncan exclaimed again. "That's incredible. My uncle has a poster of that in his garage and you're telling me your parents were there to see it, in person!? No wonder you're so cool!"

Warmth spread through Lucinda's limbs at his compliment and she clutched a vinyl of Roy Orbison to her chest. "You think I'm cool?"

"Of course! I mean, it's not every day I meet a woman who isn't scared of getting knee deep in mud in a pig pen, or who has such an awesome collection of music. Not to mention how you know how to drive stick shift, which not a lot of girls know how to do and you learned how to drive a tractor faster than anyone I know." He smiled up at her and pushed his hair out of his eyes. "You're pretty great."

"Thanks..." She sat back on her heels with the warmth of his words still coursing through her. As she hugged the vinyl close, she thought of how long it had been since someone last told her they appreciated her. She wanted to hold onto that feeling for as long as possible. "You're pretty great too, Duncan."

"I am?" He pointed to himself, surprised by her words.

"Yes and you know why?" He shook his head, no, so Lucinda continued. "You've grown up to be a respectable young man that helps out his elderly neighbor at all hours of the day and you're here helping me when you could easily be off doing something else with friends. You've got a good head on your shoulders. Most young men your age are going to college parties, getting drunk and trying to get into every girls pants, but not you."

"But I'm not even in college..." He rubbed his neck, emphasizing his bold biseps and then he let his shoulders drop with a sigh. "Everyone I graduated with is off in school, doing something with their lives, but I'm here, doing slave work for an old man. I don't even get paid. I'm pathetic."

"Oh come on, don't think like that. You're just... figuring life out. Not everyone has to go to college in order to become someone in life. You've got lots of potential."

"Yeah, right..."

"You do!" She insisted. "What do you like to do? What's one thing that makes you happy?"

"I like kick boxing and martial arts." He shrugged and then added, "I did wrestling in high school."

Lucinda bobbed her head, nodding, as she realized that was why he was so physically fit. "Well... maybe you could look into being a personal trainer? Or a health coach? There are lots of online courses you can take for that and the gym I used to go to would often train people on the job to be personal trainers."

"No." He shook his head. "I'm not smart enough for anything like that."

"Nonsense! You're plenty smart!" Lucinda smacked his knee.

"Not really. I just barely made it with enough credits to graduate high school. It's way too hard to keep up with the teachers and I can never remember anything, no matter how much I study. It's a waste!"

Lucinda's heart sunk. She knew exactly what he was talking about. She herself spent years struggling in school until a teacher spoke to her parent's about having her tested for learning disabilities. As soon as she was given the tutoring she badly needed and teachers were made aware of her difficulties, they were able to nurture her so that she could succeed in her classes. Except not everyone was as lucky as as she was, and she knew that.

"Duncan." She caressed his shoulder. "You just learn differently from other people, it doesn't make you dumb. It actually makes you quite clever because you have to think outside of the box to come up with answers." When he looked at her as if she was feeding him a load of bull, she tried to pull on an encouraging smile. "Online courses would be perfect for you, because you can set your own pace. I can even help you sign up?"

Duncan just fell silent and when the next song on the album kicked in, his face suddenly lit up. "I know this one!"

"Everyone knows this one." Lucinda chuckled, but she understood that Duncan was changing the subject. He didn't seem to like discussing his future, so she just watched as he began singing while playing air guitar.

"The boys are back in towwwn... yeow!"

"You're nuts!" Lucinda shouted over the music.

He jumped to his feet, startling her, but she fell back laughing as he took his air guitar playing to another level. He bobbed his head while swinging his arm in fast circles, but when he looked down at her he paused and stuck his hands out to help her up. She accepted his offer and was suprised by his strength as he pulled her up like a rag doll. Her body flew into his arms and thudded against his solid chest. Duncan was built like a brick wall, but he didn't miss a beat as he began spinning her to the rhythm of the song with such delicate ease. It took her a moment to recover from the surprise of it all, but once she got the hang of his movements, she learned that he was actually a pretty graceful dancer.

"Who taught you to dance?" She asked in his ear.

"My mom." He twirled her and then pulled her back to him.

"Well, I'm quite impressed!"

"Oh yeah? Watch this!" He grinned as he dipped her like a tango dancer, timing it just right for the end of the song. Lucinda sqealed as Duncan brought her back up. He kissed her cheek before letting go and then bowed to her. With an exhausted sigh, he flopped back onto the carpet. Lucinda followed suit and spread her arms out as if she were making a snow angle. He placed his hands behind his head, trying to catch his breath from the excitement. "Have anything more mellow? You know, that way we can continue sorting throught your things without me getting riled up."

"Sure." Lucinda crawled over to the wooden crate that held the records and sifted through them. "How about Joni Mitchell?"

"Ok." He shrugged. "I've actually heard of her. My mom used to listen to her a lot back when I lived with her."

"Duncan..." Lucinda began to say with hesitation as she placed the vinyl onto the record player. "Mind if I ask why you live with your uncle instead of your mom?"

Duncan sat up, crossing his legs, and looked her in the eyes. "My mom is a junkie. She has been for as long as I can remember."

"Oh... I'm so sorry... I didn't know."

"It's ok." He waved his hand at her. "So anyway, one day my uncle visited us and he saw how wasted she was. You see, my mom was kind of like you in a way. Her mom died giving birth to her and then her dad just collapsed one day when she was a teenager. So my uncle took care of her until she was eighteen and then she took off on her own. After she had me she moved back so my uncle could help her out, but she kept hanging out with the wrong people and getting into trouble. Anyway, that day he told her that he was taking me to his house for a few days and that as soon as she was sober she could come get me."

His eyes darted down and he twisted his finger around the fibers of the shag carpet.

"She didn't come get me for eight months and when she finally did she had some guy with her. She said he was her boyfriend and my uncle thinks I can't remember, but I knew my mom was higher than the heavens that day. That guy was too. My uncle forced her off the property at gun point, but then she called the cops and since my uncle wasn't my legal guardian things got ugly and he had to give me back. A month later my mom dropped me off at my uncle's and took off with that guy. I don't even remember his name, but she said they were going on vacation and I never saw her again."

"Oh my God..." Lucinda gasped softly.

"Nah, it's ok." Duncan waved his hand. "I'm sure she's off somewhere with a needle in her arm or dead. Who knows."

"Duncan!"

"What?" He shrugged. "It's the truth."

"Don't you miss her?"

"Not really." He shrugged again. "As a kid I loved her unconditionally because I was blind to what she was doing, but once I was old enough to understand, I started to hate her. Plus she wasn't around enough towards the end, so I guess whatever love I had left for her just dissolved."

Lucinda sighed deeply. "That's just so... sad."

"Eh, don't feel bad for me. I don't."

"But... you're just so young and to have gone through so much already." Lucinda replied softly.

"I'm not much younger than you and you lost your parents at a young age too."

"I know you're not a kid, Duncan. That's not what I meant by that." She shook her head. "It just makes me sad that you're nineteen and have gone through so much already. I don't want your experiences to cause you to close off from the world. That's all." He got to his knees to inch closer and paused in front of her, searching her eyes for something. With a deep breath he reached out his trembling fingers and began tracing the outline of her face. Lucinda smiled and took his hand in hers. "What's that for?"

"I... I like you, Lucinda." He admitted with a blush and then dove in for a kiss before she could even understand what was happening. When her mind finally registered the pressure of his lips against hers, she pushed him away frantically.

"What are you doing!"

"Um... I... um." Suddenly Duncan's face was bright red, but it wasn't so much from embarrassment, as it was from shame. He covered his face with his hands and cursed to himself, but what alarmed Lucinda even more was when he began smacking his forehead, repeatedly, with his palms. "Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!"

"Duncan..." Lucinda said calmly as she pulled his hands away from his face. "It's ok."

When he finally looked up at her, embarrassment flooded his face this time. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," he said.

"Hey, it's ok." Lucinda repeated and his expression transformed as once again he leaned forward and pressed his mouth to hers. "Duncan!" she screeched as she pushed him away.

"But... you said it was ok..." he furrowed his brows.

"I didn't mean it was ok for you to kiss me again. We had a misunderstanding and I wanted you to know that, THAT was ok."

"I'm not a kid, Lucinda," he said angrily. "Why does everyone treat me as if I'm stupid and don't know what I'm doing!"

"I don't think you're stupid," she replied as she tried to reach out for him, but he scooted back. "Duncan, please try to understand me." She dropped her hands. "I think the world of you, but I'm twenty eight. I'm too old for you and not only that, my life is a mess and I'm trying to untangle it."

"Age is just a number." He folded his arms. "You're just not attracted to me, admit it. That's the real reason."

"Duncan... I think the world of you."

"But you're not attracted to me! Saying you think the world of me is the same as saying, 'it's not you, it's me'." He looked away with a scoff. "God, I'm such an idiot."

"No, you're not." She reached out to him, but he moved away from her touch by standing up. "Wait!" She sprang to her feet. "Duncan, please listen to me. You are definitely a handsome young man, and you're incredible, but I'm just too old for you and my life is too messed up right now."

He winced. "You don't have to keep feeding me excuses, Lucinda. I'm a grown man, I can handle the truth..." He teetered back on his heels and while darting his eyes to the floor he added, "I should go."

Lucinda shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Duncan. One day he would understand that his feelings were nothing but a crush and that she was too old for him.

"Wait, Duncan... don't leave like this." She followed after him as he made his way to the door. "I couldn't bare it if you left here angry with me."

He turned and shrugged with his palms up, his mind already made up to leave. "Why should I stay? You don't have feelings for me, at least not the way I have them for you. What else is there to discuss?"

"I just..." She struggled for words as she wiped away the tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I'll see you around," he said, not bothering to hear what she was going to say.

After he closed the door behind him, Lucinda felt as if his exit had sucked the wind from her lungs. She knew what it was like to have her heart broken and yet there she was, leaning against the door, knowing she just crushed him. If saying goodbye to Merrill and moving away wasn't already heavy on her heart, hurting Duncan had become the cherry on top of it all. She wanted to rewind time and redo her entire interaction with him and make better choices. But had she given him the wrong idea from the start? Had she accidentally flirted with him, giving him false hope? Did she even do anything wrong?

If only she could crawl into bed, pull the sheets over her face and wait for the morning sun to come up... but she couldn't. She still had packing to do.

🌲🌲🌲

Merrill's heart sank as he slid the last box into Lucinda's car the following morning. It was bittersweet knowing she was off to a new start, because he was thrilled for her, but he was also going to miss her terribly. A selfish part of him wanted her to stay. As he stepped back, he admired his approach to stacking the boxes in her backseat. The boxes weren't many, but he found a way to squeeze them in like Jenga blocks so they all fit juuust right. He also made sure to leave the back window clear for her to see through the review mirror. The less blind spots, the better.

"Ok, I'd say you're all set!" he said as he slapped the hood of the car.

"Wow!" Lucinda exclaimed. "You got it all to fit?"

"Of course." He smiled. "And I'll look after things for you. Tend to your yard so it doesn't get wild."

"Nah." Lucinda waved her hand. "Don't worry about it. You have enough to do around your farm."

"Well, then I'll just get Duncan to do it." Merrill smiled, and it caused Lucinda's gut to twist. She hated how things had ended between them.

"You stretch that kid too thin!" Lucinda wagged her finger at him with a laugh, trying to shove down the ache she felt over hurting Duncan. "One of these days he's going to realize how much of a kick you get from watching him rush around."

"He'll live. He's young."

Lucinda looked at her watch and knew it was time to get on the road. With a sigh she looked up at Merrill. "Well, looks like I better get going if I want to make it to the halfway point by this evening."

"Make sure to call me once you get to your hotel, but especially tomorrow once you finally get to Breeze Bay."

"I promise." She nodded.

Merrill embraced her tightly as they said their goodbyes to each other. He held back tears but Lucinda let hers fall. They were both glad that she would be pursuing a greater life for herself, but they were also torn because they had become very close. It was a companionship neither of them expected or had experienced in the last three years. Leaving each other would fill them with an emptiness again but they knew it was temporary and they would see each other soon.

Waving to each other, Merrill stood near his truck holding back tears as Lucinda slowly drove away sobbing. When she could no longer see him in her rear view mirror she turned her focus to the GPS instructing her on how to get to Breeze Bay.

She was on her way to a new beginning...