The herbal shop possessed a peculiar frigidness to it. The vials of herbs and oils clinked with every screech of the floor, every meager movement. Outside, the rain was pouring in rhythmic taps. Perhaps the tempest raging in Ailyn's head could transcend the one of the clouds.

She thought that taking a puff of clear air would ease the pressure on her chest, or the dull pulsing all over her torso. Yet the drab atmosphere of Karahi did nothing to mitigate Ailyn's pain and thoughts. It only brought more of that sour nostalgia that reigned over her senses every time she reminded herself it could be the last time she saw the market of Karahi, or the rain, or anything at all.

The princess could walk with more ease after a few hours of rest, but the biting sensation hadn't ceased. It only sprouted by the minute, and although her limbs functioned well, their movement made her cringe. They were like rusty gears, squeaking in protest as they twisted and turned. She felt almost as sluggish as the old hag that had opened her doors to them.

Her nails dug into her palms and her joints stretched to pale lines of rage. She couldn't think about that woman. Not when she was already so weak. The thought that she had fallen so low as to seek refuge at her house made her stomach curl and her step falter. You have to stay silent. For the others. Why did she feel obliged to help those people? She wasn't sure. Perhaps the guilt of her actions had not worn off yet.

She puckered her lips, staring at the raindrops drumming against the thin window. It will never wear off. Not in this life, not in the next.

Ailyn threw one last glance at the dusty shop. Nothing she had tried in there had helped her. As an idea developed into her head, she almost stopped herself. They will recognize me. I will spend my last days in jail. Somehow, she didn't care anymore.

Quickly, she grabbed the wool trench coat off the desk and pulled the hood to cast a thick shadow on her features. Perhaps I need some different kind of healing. With a long sigh, she pushed the front door open.

༺──────────────༻

The Temple of Light shone even under the filtered light of the evening sun. It was radiant as a star, not particularly hard to locate. Many said it would absorb the glow of everything that touched it, so it would gleam even at night. Its golden pillars cast a lustrous glare on the princess as her rickety legs braced the last steps.

Ailyn glanced up at the temple as a desperate pant escaped her lips. If this doesn't work, I don't know what will.

It was insane that she had even looked towards the general direction of the temple. She knew she was still wanted, and with Musha allying with Seyal it wouldn't be tough for Kage to chase her across that country, too. But why would he care about you anymore? You're as good as dead. She dismissed the voice or reason in her dazed head and took a few long strides towards the towering entrance.

I'm not dead yet. He hasn't won. I won't allow him to.

As the girl reached the glimmering door, she stalled for a moment. What if the priestess gave her away? She wouldn't be able to hide her identity once she was inside. A hooded stranger invading a temple after it had closed its doors to the people was not really discreet.

She sighed a deep breath, trying to expel any doubts that still remained in her mind. What other choice do I have? Stay with Bela and hear her taunts until I die? Gulping down the last of her dignity, she shoved the grand doors open.

The moon's shine pierced through the unusual darkness that lived inside the temple. The marble of the floor was polished to perfection, and yellow swirling paint strokes graced the walls. Even immersed in the shadow, the room's soaring dome managed to capture all the glow of the moonlight. The smell of burnt sage rushed to Ailyn's nose as she stepped inside and shook off her black coat, revealing her soiled clothes underneath. She hadn't taken any new garments from Bela's house. She couldn't bare to.

A shrine maiden was sitting in front of a case of golden trinkets and other items rich Mushans had donated for good fortune, polishing each one meticulously. When she heard the door swing open, she stood to her feet and straightened the pleats of her ivory embroidered skirt. She had gone through this multiple times before, that much was clear.

"Excuse me," she muttered, keeping her gaze at the floor at she turned to Ailyn. "Visitors are not allowed at this time."

The princess cleared her throat. After reminding herself she had asylum in the shrine one more time, she opened her dry mouth. "I must pray," she breathed wearily, and her croak sounded much less commanding than she had intended.

For the first time, the maiden's eyes dared to wander. Once they caught Ailyn's gaze, the young girl froze. The cloth slipped from her fingers and she almost stumbled to the floor as she gripped one of the marble pillars for support. "I-I..." she trailed off, sucking sharp breaths and trying to contain her eyes in their sockets.

Ailyn pushed the entrance, and it closed with a dramatic thump that muted all other sounds in the temple. She craved to drop to the ground, to surrender to whatever curse was placed upon her. Yet somehow, her stubborn mind was still more vehement than that desire.

If there was something Kage said that she hadn't yet expelled from her life, it was this; you cannot be both weak and respected.

As Ailyn began to step deeper into the temple, the shrine maiden released a muffled shriek. "I'm sorry," she mumbled nervously, "you cannot be here in this state."

The princess didn't hesitate. She reached down and tugged at the laces of the probably too big boots Korin's workers had given her. As she slipped the shoes off, her toes touched the cold marble and she instantly flinched. It was probably not a great idea to make her body even more vulnerable, but she had no choice. With a tight smile, she drew a shallow breath. "How about now?" she forced through tense lips.

The maiden eyed her appearance reluctantly, but Ailyn's intense glare made her move. As the girl lead Ailyn through a long corridor of pillars, the princess finally had time to examine the temple more meticulously.

The people of Karahi had visibly distanced themselves from the divine. Whether it was lack of commitment or simply boredom, it was clear the temple hadn't had many visitors in the past weeks. The floor was void of any footmarks. The pile of offerings in the far left corner of the building had stayed static since Ailyn last stepped foot there, and that was more than a month ago.

One would think the war would cause the masses to flee to the temples and pray for their lives. Apparently the only one they were willing to beg for mercy was the Prince of Shadows.

The sour taste returned to Ailyn's mouth. Perhaps even a hint of disappointment was blended in the wave of unease that overwhelmed her. She shook it off before it could affect her any further, though. Don't think about him. Don't think about him. Don't think about him.

After a few moments of silent pacing inside the temple, the maiden stopped before a large set of amber doors. She raised a quivering finger to indicate the pause of their walk and hastily disappeared into the room.

With a long sigh of relief, the girl collapsed against the wall. Feigning authority is harder than I thought. A twisted sense of relief calmed her mind at the thought she would never have to lead a crowd again. At least she didn't have to worry about that burden, too.

She raised a hand to her chest, feeling the awkwardly twitching muscle underneath it.

Thump. Thump. Nothing. Thump. Nothing.

Before she could plague her head with any more misery, the door next to her swung open. The maiden rushed outside, and she only seemed more disturbed. "The priestess will see you now," she murmured as she massaged the bulging veins on her forehead.

Ailyn nodded solemnly, and with a last glance at the anxious girl, she stepped inside the dimly lit room.

The priestess's chamber was as Ailyn remembered. The walls depicted images of ancient history; Brisyn, the Queen of Light, and Kunja, the Queen of Shadows, debating. Fighting. Reconciling. It was a story she had never payed much attention to, despite the hundreds of times teachers insisted on it at the Academy.

A low table was placed at the center of the room, with a single oil lamp and a few crumbled papers on it. Prayers, Ailyn quickly realised. The priestess was still young; her brown hair was pulled in a neat bun and a delicate crown of golden stars graced her head. She sat at an embroidered pillow, her icy blue eyes skimming over the letters even when Ailyn stood right before her.

The priestess flipped another letter around. "What happened to you, princess?" she asked casually.

Ailyn took some hesitant steps forward, plopping down on the cushion opposite of the young woman. Even she couldn't answer that question.

The woman sighed at her silence, putting down the pile of prayers. "I am guessing poor decisions?"

"Not poor," Ailyn objected. "Leaving Seyal was the best decision I ever made."

The priestess eyed her through disbelieving slits. "The best decision for who, your Highness? You are at death's door. Your people are suffering." She paused, her eyes glinting with something Ailyn couldn't decipher. "And the prince--"

"I could not care less about him!" the princess exclaimed, and her scream echoed throughout the empty shrine. Ignoring the arch of the priestess's brow, she sucked in a quivering breath. "I want to know how to heal this curse of his."

The priestess pushed her body off the cushion, wandering towards the window. "You have changed. That will bring your downfall."

"I'm not lying," she retorted.

"No, you are not." The woman averted her gaze, staring at the pouring rain outside. "He made you do horrible things, and yet you forgot and forgave."

Ailyn's fingers curled into fists. "I never forgave him. I just tried to move on."

"Do not kid yourself, princess."

"No!" Ailyn ran her hand through her wet hair, clenching her jaw so hard she thought it might shatter. "He doesn't deserve forgiveness. Especially not now," she muttered lowly.

The priestess's glance softened for a mere second. It was clear in the shift of her tone that she could empathize with Ailyn. "You should not forgive because he deserves it. You should forgive because you deserve to forget."

Ailyn's stare snapped to the woman's face. Tears accumulated at the corners of her eyes with warning intensity. This time she didn't bother to wipe them away. 

"The future is not my field," the priestess continued. "Yet your fate is so clear even I can see it. You will return to the throne, Ailyn Lacald. You will reign once again. But for this to happen, you must first forgive."

"I told you, I can't!" Ailyn cried, choking on the sob rising in her throat. "You can say I changed, but that I cannot do. He has hurt me too much."

The priestess took slow strides towards the door. With a slight pull, it clicked open. "It is not him you should forgive. The solution to all of your anguish is much less complex than you make it seem."

Ailyn halted. She stared at the floor, and her eyes slowly widened. No, it cannot be that. I can't do that. Yet the longer she glared at the marble, the clearer the answer became.

The princess jumped up from the pillow, and with a sudden rush of hope she hurled herself out of the chamber.

༺──────────────༻

Bela's house towered over Ailyn as she dashed towards the entrance, panting and sweating way more than she normally would have. It's not done yet, she reminded her racing heart. You must say it. You must throw it out of your system.

How blind had she been? How could she not have detected the hate slithering inside her heart, tainting every inch of her?

She had been foolish, and Kage used that.

As she reached the ebony door, Ailyn banged her fist against the wood. Silence. Her heart galloped wildly, and for a moment she almost thought it would fly out of her chest. Then, the door opened with a deep creak, and Bela's wrinkled eyes peeked at the girl.

"What is it, Lacald? You found anything to ease that pain of yours?"

The princess shoved the door open. Bela stared at her bewildered, ready to scream some insult at her. Before she could do so, Ailyn hauled the old woman into a tight hug even she didn't expect.

Silence. Then without pulling away, Bela released a nervous laugh. "What are you doing, girl? Have you gone completely mad?"

Ailyn sighed. "I forgive you," she breathed, and it was as if a burden was lifted from her. "You did what you had to do for your country. My parents' death was not your fault."

"Where is this coming from, Lacald?"

"My soul was weak," she blurted out, squeezing the old lady between her wobbly arms. The weight started to soar, slowly leaving her agonized body. "The darkness wouldn't have affected me if I was stronger. But I doubted myself. I let the hate get to me."

Bela pulled her head back, staring at Ailyn's clear irises. Although she seemed slightly perturbed at her sudden change of character, a crooked smile stretched her pale lips. "That's all it takes then, huh? Being all happy-go-lucky and giving free hugs to everyone and smiling obnoxiously like some Flouornan propaganda?"

Ailyn inhaled a long whiff of crisp air and glued her eyes shut. I have to do it. To heal my heart. To heal myself.

"I forgive your son, too," she said, and her voice wavered. "Because I know that deep down, he thinks what he is doing is serving some greater cause."

The weight was gone. She slumped forward, coughing frantically. Her torso burned as if a thousand flames had been lit in it at once, and her heart raced faster than it ever had. Her head span, the earth twirled, and Bela's frame turned blurry, as if she was gazing at her through the surface of a frozen lake.

Then she saw it right in front of her. Bela whispering to Kage during Ailyn's coronation. Kage looking at her through two wide amber irises she had never seen stretch so much before. Then, Kage grabbing Ailyn's forearm, pulling her to the side, rattling her shoulders and begging her to say it wasn't true. Yet she couldn't lie.

The visions advanced. Now she saw herself wailing over her parent's limp bodies, pointing the knife at Kage and swearing to slaughter him, to make him suffer the same fate her parents had. He seemed hurt, too. He seemed disturbed.

Her mind taunted her, playing those scenes over and over again. Why forgive him? a voice whispered in her ear. He is the cause of all of this. He killed your parents.

No, she argued. I killed them.

She had forgiven Bela, and then Kage. And finally, she had forgiven herself.

Suddenly, she was hurled back to reality. The pain had fled her body, along with the dull pulsing. Her vision was still blurry, but bringing her hand up and rubbing her eyes, she realized it was because of the crystal droplets hanging from her lids. Before she could celebrate her liberation from the darkness, a tremendous surge of fatigue overwhelmed her.

Bela swung her arm around Ailyn's shoulders. "You should rest now." As she pulled the girl inside, she let out another cackle. "You did it, Lacald. You actually did it," she mumbled to herself as she dropped the princess on the now clean couch.

Bela stared at the girl. With a last nod of approval, she whirled around and headed for the kitchen.

Ailyn stretched out her hand, gripping the woman's wrist with as much power as she had left. "Wait," she breathed. "I know a way you can see your son again, without any of us dying."

The witch hummed. "What are you plotting now, sunshine girl?"

Ailyn gulped, managing a small smile. He may be forgiven, but what he is doing is still madness. "I have an idea," she said. "A crazy, impossible idea. Like the ones you like."

***

Late chapter! I hope you realize why this took some time, I just wanted to get it right since it's such an important part of the story.

Thank you for 3k! I really appreciate it!

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