"Hey," the Shy Guy said. "Am I crazy... Or does this human look like Princess Peach?"

They'd come forward and surrounded her. The Monty Mole pointed a shovel at her. The Shy Guy had a spear. And the Bomb-omb... Well, he was a threat just on his own.

The live explosive squinted at her. "You're right!" he squeaked. "She does kinda look like her... Weird."

"What would the princess be doing all the way out here, though?" the Monty Mole said doubtfully. "Plus, she's all muddy and filthy... Princess Peach wouldn't be caught dead like this."

Peach noticed a couple of things as they deliberated. One, they'd called her Princess Peach, meaning they still believed that she held the title. Two, their eyes... They weren't red. Both of these things were significant, but she didn't know why -- the reason broke against the fatigue crashing down through her body like an avalanche, and something told her that she had seconds before the tranquilizer took full hold of her and she passed out. Say something. Quickly!

"Bowser--" she managed. Then she collapsed and went to sleep.

***

Sometime later, she woke up in the back of a cart.

There was a tarp over the top, so she was immersed in complete darkness, but she could feel the bindings locking her hands and feet together well enough. If only her captors had known not to bother -- thanks to fatigue and this nightmarish poison, she didn't think she would be running anywhere anytime soon.

She groaned and passed back out. When she next came to, the cart was still moving, but she could hear voices this time, coming from near the front of the vehicle:

"Stan, I don't like this. I feel like we're toting a time bomb."

"Hey! I find that offensive."

"Sorry, Louis."

"Just be patient and keep the cart covered, and we'll be fine."

"We won't be fine! The second word gets out that we might possibly be holding the Princess Peach for ransom, every bounty hunter from here to Koopa Kastle Town will be hunting us down, and trying to lift our goods!"

"They'll only find out if you keep talking about it!"

"We don't even know if this is Princess Peach. What if she's just some kind of lookalike? I don't wanna get mugged over a lookalike!"

"We're not gonna get mugged. And it don't matter if it's the real Peach or not -- Bowser'll pay us a fortune just in case she is."

"That's another thing: why are we going all the way to the top for this? You know how things are in Koopa Kastle Town these days. I don't wanna risk it. We should be using a middle-mole."

"Man, all you're good for is digging pitfalls! Take a breath and grow a spine already!"

The words phased out as fatigue took hold again.

When her eyes opened once again, she was lying on her back, and the tarp had been removed from the top of the cart. She stared up at a black sky broken up by moonlit clouds...and the face of the Shy Guy. Stan. He had a damp, wadded-up wash cloth in his hand, and was squeezing water into her mouth. She swallowed the cold droplets thirstily.

"Where--" she gasped.

Shy Stan pointed a warning finger at her. "Hey, hey," he growled. "If you don't wanna be gagged, less of the lip, princess. Chew on this." He stuffed a piece of bread into her mouth before grinning nastily at her. "And welcome to the Koopa Kingdom!"

He replaced the tarp, which was just as well. He probably would've been highly confused about the relief that rose onto her face.

***

Peach remained in the back of the cart for several days as they traveled through the Koopa Kingdom. Her captors fed her and watered her and, when they camped, let her get out to use the bathroom, but otherwise she was confined to the cart. Still, it was better treatment than what she'd received in her own dungeons.

She spent most of the time sleeping and trying to regain her strength, which she did little by little. When she wasn't sleeping, she was chanting, trying to suppress the poison still circulating within her. When she wasn't sleeping or chanting, she was thinking about what was going to happen next.

It was clear that her captors were part of the community of kidnappers and ransomers that prowled along the Koopa Kingdom border, capturing Mushroom Kingdom travelers and immigrants and then selling them back to the Kingdom for an exorbitant fee. When Peach had still been princess, she'd spent a lot of time and gold trying to stamp out these debased and illegal operations, but it appeared that despite her best efforts, there were still some out here, and this time, irony of ironies, to her benefit: they were going to take her right to Bowser's throne room and sell her off, and that was exactly what she wanted.

But the tricky bit was what would happen after. She was obviously going to have to ask for asylum, which she was sure would delight the Koopa King, but at what cost? Please not marriage. But considering her past encounters with Bowser, that was most likely going to cross his mind. There must be something else he wants. Something else I can provide for him.

And at one point, that list might've been long. But Colette had torn her from the throne, and so she no longer had the resources or the standing to offer or guarantee the Koopa King anything. So what could she do if he popped the question, or made the demand, and tried to put that ring on her finger once again?

The thought filled her with fear, and made her miss Mario terribly -- Mario was one of the only people alive that could deal with Bowser without the need for military, money, or smooth talking. She wished that she was that powerful, that she had the strength to protect herself. But if she had... Well, she wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.

On the sixth day of travel, Peach and her captors entered a very uproarious urban center, one sitting on an unforgiving rocky slope. Peach couldn't see anything because of the tarp, but she heard plenty: street hawkers, the honks of car horns, booming music, people shouting at one another, even a fistfight at one point, which Shy Stan made a point of going around. There was also a heavy smell that persisted into the already-stuffy space of the cart: the rank odor of garbage and uncleanliness. She tried to put together an image of what this city might look like using these senses, and got a congested metropolis that didn't invest in garbage-pickup or quality-of-life laws.

By Mandarin Mole's comments, she was right: "Egad! Thank stars I moved to the sticks with you, Stan. This place looks even worse than it was than when I left, and I didn't think that was possible."

"You hear about the closures downtown?" Shy Stan asked. " 'Cause of all the protests, the businesses can't afford to stay open. One barber shop tried, and they got torched."

"Protests?" Louis Bomb-omb repeated.

"Yep. Anti-monarch protests: they don't like that Bowser's hoarding all his gold up in the Kastle, while Koopa Kastle Town rots in real time."

"Well, I guess I can't blame them," Mandarin Mole said. "But setting businesses on fire? Do they think that'll help things?"

"They've got to get his attention somehow. I heard some people talking about firebombing the Kastle itself next."

"That would do it. That would also get them thrown in a cell."

Koopa Kastle Town... So that's where they were. The stench made sense now: Peach had never been to the Koopa Kingdom's capital personally, but she'd heard stories about the overpopulation, the poverty, and the terrible standard of living. And now throwing anti-monarchy protests into the mix... She actually heard the shouting as the cart turned a corner: it seemed to be coming from several blocks away, where a crowd was bellowing, "No Koopa Kids, no Kings! Give us back our things! Our gold, our pride -- Koopa King, take a ride!"

The din of dirty urban living began to fade as the cart continued uphill, and her captors' voices grew stronger: "Are you sure this appointment is legit? Bowser doesn't grant audiences, how can you be sure it's from him?"

"It's not," Shy Stan said, "it's from Chancellor Goondig. Look, there's his stamp. He says he reviewed the pictures we sent of the princess, and we've been given a ten-minute audience with Bowser. If everything goes as planned, we'll get the money on the way out."

"You'd better be right. I'm done with this stress!"

Peach felt her lungs tighten in her chest. Are we nearly there? It was maddening, not being able to see what was going on.

They continued on. At one point, the path flattened out, and things began to get hot, very hot: Peach wheezed as the air she took in scalded her throat. It must be the volcano. The Koopa Kastle sat atop a composite volcano, but every surveillance report she'd gotten about the landmass had reassured her that it was dormant... Mostly. But clearly there was magma nearby.

Thankfully, the heat finally faded, and up ahead came a commotion. "Halt!" someone shouted -- a soldier? "What's your business here?"

"We have an audience with the Koopa King," Shy Stan said calmly. "We've been granted access by Chancellor Goondig. Here're the papers."

There was some rustling of papers and some grumbling, and the soldier said, "We'll need to check the cart for weapons before you go in."

"Knock yourselves out," Stan said.

Abruptly, the tarp was whipped aside, and Peach stared up into the beady eyes of a Hammer Bro. He raised his brows at her before sweeping it back.

"We'll escort you in," he said.

The cart started forward again, and Peach heard a rusty grinding sound -- perhaps the sound of a gate creaking open? Beyond, things started to echo -- they must've entered a hall. They hit another slope, and at the top, someone cried, "Shy Stan, Mandarin Mole, and Louis Bomb-omb, here to see His Greatness on matters of a possible ransom."

The cart rolled forward and then stopped. "Your Majesty," Shy Stan said. "Our upmost gratitude for this opportunity."

The voice that spoke next was too loud and booming for the echoing chamber, and the words were heavy with threat: "It better we worth it. There're plenty of empty cells in the dungeon if you've just come here to waste my time."

"I assure you she's real," Shy Stan said. "We captured here at the border, and--"

"I read Goondig's report. Stop talking and show me."

The tarp rustled and was cast aside, likely for the last time. Mandarin Mole and Shy Stan worked together to bundle Peach out of the back, which wasn't easy, considering how tiny they both were. But once they got her to the floor, they dragged her forward, until she was lying at the foot of a giant staircase carved from igneous rock, and surrounded by lit sconces shaped like clawed hands. At the top, Bowser the Koopa King sat in a clawfoot throne, with three of his children -- Roy, Lemmy, and Ludwig, Peach thought -- arrayed behind him, along with a robed Goomba and Dry Bones. Each of them looked bored out of their minds... But Bowser straightened very suddenly and leaned forward, scrutinizing her.

For a moment, there was silence. It was clear that the Koopa King and his underlings had expected her to start bawling and begging for mercy, but Peach wasn't afraid -- nervous, yes. But not because she feared Bowser, but because she was apprehensive about the conversation to come.

Findally, Lemmy -- the "kooky" one, according to past reports -- bounced down from the throne and leaned down until his scaly face was inches from hers. "Hmmm," he said. "Hmmmmm..." He poked her twice with his wand, and cackled. "If it's a fake, it's pretty convincing!"

"She's not a fake," Shy Stan insisted. Her three captors were behind her, still bowing. "Perhaps if His Majesty would come down for a closer look?"

To their surprise, Bowser did, rising from his throne and descending the stairs in several giant steps that shook the floor. He knelt when he reached her, and then lifted her chin with a razor-sharp talon. A moment later, his two other sons joined him.

"Hey," Bowser growled after a moment. "Say something."

"Hello," Peach rasped.

"Whoa!" Roy remarked. "It looks like her, Dad... But it sure don't sound like her."

"Doesn't even look like her, really!" Lemmy said. "Princess Peach, this smelly, unwashed thing?" He looked gleefully over at Shy Stan and the others. "Looks like someone's going to the dungeons!"

"What!" Mandarin Mole exclaimed. "But... No! Please, we were so sure--"

"Quiet, knave." The robed Goomba descended to Bowsesr's side and gave Peach a disdainful look before saying, "What do you think, my King?"

"I'm not sure," Bowser said, straightening. He didn't look as excited as Peach had expected, and his sharp teeth were showing in a displeased scowl. "I think it's her... But something's not right..."

Peach coughed. Time to speak. "It is me," she said. Her voice was still rough, but the words were clearer now. "I came here to ask you to grant me asylum."

Lemmy's laughter filled the entire chamber like thunder.

"Asylum?" he shrieked. "Now we know she's a fake! Hey guards -- get those three weeds and put them on the stretcher. I want them to grow a few inches for deceiving my Dad!"

"Wait, no!" Shy Stan cried. "We didn't deceive you, Your Majesty!"

The look on Bowser's face wasn't that different from Lemmy's -- his disbelief was so strong that it was pushing to hysteria. "No? She claims she came here of her own free will. Didn't you idiots say you kidnapped her?"

"We did!" Mandarin Mole exclaimed. "Honest to stars, we did! She was wandering around the border, and narrowly avoided one of our pitfalls, and--"

"Why would the crown princess of the Mushroom Kingdom be wandering around the border by herself, dirty and disheveled, and barefoot?" Ludwig asked, narrowing his eyes at the kidnappers. "Did you fools bring us a lookalike, and expect us to fall for it?"

"NO!" Stan said. "No, we... We didn't! Please believe us!"

"Bowser," Peach said, "they're right. They did kidnap me -- I let them. I needed to reach you as soon as I possibly could, and this was the easiest way to do so."

"R-right!" Mandarin Mole said. "What she said!"

Bowser growled and rubbed at his temples. "Lock these cretins up," he snapped. "They're too loud."

The guards quickly surrounded the kidnappers and ushered them from the chamber, and their protestations faded down the hall.

"What do you mean, that this was the easiest way to reach me?" Bowser demanded with a curled lip. "Don't you have cars, dozens of them? And ships?"

"Not anymore," Peach said. "I..." She swallowed thickly. She didn't want to admit it... But denying it wouldn't get her anywhere. "I've been deposed."

They all exchanged looks. To Peach's utter astonishment, none of them looked surprised. "Did you know?" she exclaimed.

Ludwig ignored her. "Father, do you think this has anything to do with the barrier?"

Barrier?

"It could explain the closed borders, too," the robed Goomba speculated. "Perhaps both were put in place in an attempt to keep her from escaping."

"But I thought no one could get through the barrier," Roy said, looking confused. "Or out. Ugh. This makes no sense."

"Who cares about any of that?" Lemmy said. "I wanna know who the new ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom is now that she's been kicked out!"

"Wait," Ludwig said. "This person still hasn't given us any real reason to believe that she's Princess Peach. This could all be hot air."

"I can prove it," Peach insisted. "Please untie me."

They all looked at Bowser, who crossed his arms. "What are you going to do?"

"Princess Peach has magical abilities," Peach said. "Wish power. If I make it manifest, that should prove who I am, right?"

Bowser narrowed his eyes, then glanced at Ludwig, who reluctantly nodded. Bowser shrugged, and Roy took a step behind Peach and severed the rope binding her hands together using a single claw. Peach crawled up to her feet and rubbed her wrists -- there was purple bruising there from days of being bound in the back of the cart. But her fingers worked well enough, and she extended her left pointer.

"Give me light," she Demanded, and a pinprick of white light burst to life above her finger, flickering as though sitting atop a candle. The procession looked from her to Bowser, who stroked his jaw.

"All right," he grunted. "Everyone get out. And you," he shouted, pointing to one of the soldiers standing guard at the chamber's giant doors, "get a chair for the princess."

The room slowly emptied -- Ludwig and the robed Goomba didn't look pleased at being sent packing, but they did, disappearing through a shadowy door in the chamber's eastern wing. A Hammer Bro obediently brought Peach a small chair and helped her up into it, and she tried to hold her gorge -- it had been ages since she'd sat in this position, and it made her both nauseous and dizzy.

While she tried to reorient herself, Bowser ascended the steps and took a seat in his giant throne. "All right, start from the beginning," he rumbled. "What the heck happened to you?"

***

She talked, explaining as best she could how quickly and thoroughly she'd been removed from her own throne, and how she'd spent eight months suffering in the dungeons of the Castle. Bowser listened silently while she went on and on, but she didn't miss the incredulity, disbelief, and suspicion that crossed his face several times during her monologue. She couldn't blame him, though -- hearing it outside her own head made the last year's event seem even more laughable than they already were.

"So let me get this straight," he said when she finished. "Some nobody from nowhere just appears one day, poisons you, and in less than a year turns your entire kingdom against you? And then takes the crown for herself?"

"Yes," Peach said, pained.Then, "You don't believe me."

"No. It all sounds made up... Something a kid would say to get out of a spanking. Why should I believe any of it?"

She wrung her hands and said nothing.

"Why didn't Mario help you?" he asked.

"Mario..." Her voice shook. "H-he also..."

Bowser shook his head. "You actually believe that Mario would turn coat? Against you?"

"Yes," Peach protested, "he did. I saw it with my own eyes: he was outside of my cage day after day, and he never said a word when I begged him for help or when Colette put those piranha plants in my cell. It was like he didn't know me."

"He could've been acting..."

"For eight months? He wouldn't let me suffer for eight months."

"How, then? He and this Colette person had a long conversation where she convinced him to take her side? Did she have this conversation with every blasted toad and Yoshi in the Mushroom Kingdom?"

"I know it doesn't make any sense," Peach said desperately. "But it happened. I swear on the stars it all happened. Why would I look like this, Bowser, if I hadn't suffered? Why would have I let myself be kidnapped just to reach you if I hadn't been stripped of my resources, power, and authority?"

The Koopa King rubbed his brow, looking highly frustrated. "This could be a trick," he said. "Some sort of weird plan to..."

"To what? You're the one who always wants something. Not me."

"Throwing accusations at the guy you want to protect you?" he said with glower. "Smart."

"I-I'm sorry. I just need you to believe me. Please."

He rubbed his scaly face again, visibly aggravated. He was acting so strange today -- this conversation had not gone near what she'd expected, which was for him to gloat over her pleads for shelter and protection, and immediately demand marriage in exchange for asylum. Instead, he appeared frustrated and distracted, like there were other things on his mind. And, as he stared off into the shadows, she noted a seriousness on his face that was distinctly out of character. What could possibly cause the firebreathing Koopa King to look like that?

"I need to think more about this," he said, another line that was pointedly un-Bowser-like. He snapped his fingers, and a Hammer Bro came forward. "Find her a room," he said. "She'll be staying the night."

She felt the ties and knots in her gut unwind, and her shoulders drooped. "Thank you," she said gratefully.

He pointed a clawed finger at her. "We're not done. We'll discuss your fate in the morning, after I decide whether or not you've been lying to my face."

With that, the Koopa King turned and disappeared into the shadows.

--