Sid was sitting in a waiting room of a hospital, cuddling his college bag on his lap. The piercing LED light above his head brightened the luminous symbols on his long-sleeved V-neck shirt. His hair was unkempt and slightly greasy due to traveling. His finger went to scratch his stubble amidst the noises of sneezing and coughing from sick patients from different wards.

The questions he wrote on the notepad app on his cellphone were making him nervous. He wanted to ask these questions to the psychiatrist. Will people judge him if he has mental issues? This very thought that his inquisitiveness was a mental issue shot a ripple through his heart.

Sid looked over and over at the name-plate outside the door. The name Dr. Kunal Vadawa stared back at him through block capitals and black letters. His eyes glinted as the flat metallic plate gained a reflection in his black eyes.

A receptionist readout Sid's name and pointed her thumb at the specified door. He was to meet the psychiatrist.

Sid pushed the door open and entered the room. The fragrance of floral incense pervaded the surrounding air, invading Sid's nostrils as soon as he placed his first foot into the room. Inside there, Dr. Kunal's smile welcomed him, revealing his simplicity. Sid studied his appearance, a casual hairstyle which made him look like a middle-aged man and a round black frame specs which reminded Sid of a wise owl. He was wearing formal clothes that registered his profession as a distinguished human.

With a wave of his hand, he invited Sid to take a seat. Sid placed his appointment letter on the desk before settling down in his chair. "So, Mr. Siddhant Kothari, I would appreciate if you discuss your psychological issues frankly," Kunal asked, his eyes were skimming over the letter.

"Well, I don't know where to start." Sid adjusted his seating position, "Um... I think I can see the future through dreams."

The doctor tore his eyes away from the letter to rest upon Sid, waiting for him to continue. "Psychic dreaming, huh?"

Sid simply lifted his shoulders, he did not know what that meant. The doctor cleared his throat and began to explain, psychic dreaming is the ability to see the future through dreams. Research says at least one-third of the general population experiences precognition in their dreams.

Precognition is the ability or the direct knowledge to foresee events before they happen through ESP. Sixty to seventy percent of this phenomenon one can experience in dreams, and the rest in daydreams or visions. In real life, precognition will make itself known through auditory hallucinations, rapid random thoughts, or pure instinct. Studies have stated that everybody has a certain degree of psychic ability, but some are more heightened than others. Psychic dreams can even arise in a symbolic form.

"Actually," Sid said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, "I had visions many times before. By the way, what's ESP?"

"Extra sensory perception." Kunal answered, "Also known as the sixth sense. Reception of information not gained through the recognized physical senses but sensed with the mind."

Sid just gave the nod. A wave of surprise erupted from his heart, but he was confident he didn't see any dream that would correspond with the information provided by Kunal. A lingering surety made it clear to him, the poor boy was having mental issues. He spoke in a voice that almost sounded hoarse. "Does this dreaming involved stories you never heard? Or rather don't recall when you heard?"

"Yeah." Kunal gave a curt nod. "You see, there's no science which can describe the mind." Kunal raised his eyebrows, shame prominent in his features overshadowed by acceptance of the limitations in science.

"I..." The laugh cut down Sid's words. "I'm pretty sure my grandpa had told me all these stories in my childhood, but I don't remember the ones I saw in dreams." He narrated one of the stories to Kunal.

"Hmm, it is safe to say you don't seem to have any issues, Siddhant." Kunal smiled.

"I..." Sid felt words were not forming in his tongue. Was he bewildered? No, can't say it either. Sid rudely took a full minute to ponder and Kunal graciously waited with a smile. "I was always like this, you know, I'm searching answers of unusual questions. Don't ask me what, I have no answer. I just feel I'm so unsatisfied with my life. Not that it is boring, but everything is in this world seems so pointless. All is vanity and a chasing after the wind, the way Modern Ecclesiastes put it." He ran out of words and used up half a minute to come up with something. "I'm not depressed; I'm just full of 'whys' and looking for answers. Why there are religious conflicts? Why doesn't education make one wise but arrogant? Why is the world becoming more stressed than ever? Why is happiness flickering? Why we die? Why are we living in this troubled world? These are all questions harass me, and now I'm getting sick of this nature of mine because there's no answer. I think I have psychological issues and I wanna stop it!"

An awkward silence ruled after the end of Sid's ranting. Kunal couldn't maintain a poker face for long. His lips twitched in a smile. "You know," he said, "You don't have issues, you're just asking questions humans supposed to ask."

Kunal sprang up from his chair and walked up at Sid. He placed a comforting hand on Sid's shoulder. "Trust my words, Siddhant," he paused dramatically, "you're a yogi, Siddhant. I can't help you, but my spiritual master can guide you."

Sid got a little uncomfortable by this recommendation. In his mind, he thought about his first experience, which he had in a spiritual seminar about Swami Mukhteshwar. He hesitated before responding. "Ah.... Well, you know I've had some bad experiences with spiritual leaders."

Kunal shot a sympathetic look at Sid. "Oh, yes, I can understand that. It's very tough to find a genuine spiritual master these days. But isn't it wrong to generalize all spiritual masters are frauds?"

The way he put it made Sid smile in relief. He was glad someone shared the same opinion as him. "Yeah, you're right. That's also the logical fallacy of generalization."

To dispel any doubt from Sid's mind, Kunal further stated. "Don't worry, he won't charge you a single penny. It's not that every spiritual leader wants to extort money from people."

The smile touched Sid's lips, extending into a grin. "I'm extremely grateful to you doc. Thanks for helping."

"It was nice meeting you." Both of them stood up and shook hands with each other. Kunal patted Sid's back as a token of good luck. He jotted down the address of monastery, where his spiritual master resides.

Sid didn't want to waste even seconds because he feared to get home late. He took rickshaw straight to the location, it was one hour drive away. In his mind, he was continually hoping not to have the same experience which he had with Swami Mukhteshwar.

As one hour of traveling passed, he reached his destination. He hastily paid the fare and set his foot into the monastery. It wasn't huge, inside the temple there were beautiful deities of Lord Vishnu lying on his serpent bed with his eternal consort Laxmi, massaging his feet.

Serenity pervaded Sid's mind as he entered the temple premises. Also, it didn't make him uncomfortable at all. His eyes glued to the beautiful deity of Lord Vishnu. He kept on gazing at the deities for several minutes, and then it dawned on him, he had to meet Kunal's spiritual master. He made inquiries from some volunteers as to where the meeting room was. The kind volunteers gave him directions.

Sid swiftly went there. He entered the room and sat on a chair, waiting patiently. Some disciples informed him that their spiritual master is coming within a few minutes. Until then Sid kept himself busy with his mobile phone.

A few minutes passed in pin-drop silence and then the spiritual master entered the meeting room, holding a broad smile on his face. The guru was aged around sixty-five to seventy years old. He was wearing saffron robes and had a shawl covering his torso. His head was shaved, but he had some pony behind his head. His name was Yogendra Goswami. He presented everyone with a warm smile and turned around towards a picture of his own spiritual master and offered obedience to it. Many people were gathered to meet him, but luckily he let Sid talk first.

Sid got up from his seat to approach him. He told him about the discussion he had with Dr. Kunal. Goswami was all ears, and all this time, his chin was rested on his hand. "Okay, actually, Kunal briefed me about your quest for answers."

"He called me a yogi," Sid let out a chuckle, but when nobody laughed, his lips simply made an awkward movement, but nothing came close to a smile.

"He's a nice boy." Yogendra's voice conveyed a feeling of satisfaction to have a good disciple like Kunal.

Sid licked his lips and scratched his forehead. "He said you would guide me spiritually."—Yogendra lifted his left eyebrow, indicating inquisition—"To be honest, I can't make head or tail of it."

Yogendra remained silent as a monk should be, so the boy went on.

"Actually," he rolled his eyeballs upwards, pointing towards his eyebrows, pressurizing his mind to think. "I just get so many questions, the spiritual ones, I guess."

"Are you seeking for the absolute truth?"

Sid plastered seriousness on his face and tilted his head. "Ah, I don't know. You see—"

"Sounds interesting. The look on your face says you're desperately looking for answers." Yogendra leaned forward. His bald head shone when it came under the LED lights attached to the ceiling. He shot a glance at the picture of Lord Vishnu, hung on the wall. His eyes slightly moistened. "What's your name?"

"Siddhant Kothari," Sid replied.

"I can safely assure you are not looking for answers but love."

Sid retorted with a grimace, "No, no. I don't find romantic stories fascinating." Yogendra narrowed his eyes, and to clear up confusion, Sid continued. "I mean, I find it stupid."

Yogendra burst out in laughter, tapping his thighs. His disciples also chuckled. Sid stared at their faces, and a thought brushed his mind, why are they laughing?

"Why do people think love is only between a male and a female? Father and son, is it not love? Brother and sister, is it not love? Mother and daughter, is it not love?" Yogendra ended laughing again; his shoulders bounced when he does it.

Sid smiled as he agreed with this point. "Yes, that's also love."

"Similarly, there is one love beyond these relationships. It is very, very, a rare state of mind to obtain, Siddhant. One among thousands gets access to that transcendent love."

"I don't get it."

Yogendra pointed his index finger towards a painting behind the wall on Sid's end. "Who are they?" It was of Lord Krishna and Arjuna on a chariot in the battlefield of Kurukshetra.

Sid's ribs squished as he turned around to set his eyes on the painting. "Um... I guess that's Krishna and Arjuna."

Yogendra began to explain to him further. "Generally, we let our greed, lust, anger, passion, and lower desires to drive the chariot of our life. But we never let the Supreme Personality of Godhead drive the chariot of our life."

Sid didn't understand what he meant by the Supreme Personality of Godhead. But out of respect, he kept on listening carefully.

Yogendra went on, "But your case is exceptional, Siddhant." His eyes were wide as he stared into the latter's eyes. The guru stopped abruptly, which doubled Sid's curiosity, who gripped the table in front of him.

Sid couldn't help himself from allowing his eagerness to spill out. "Why's that?" he burst out.

Being overwhelmed with emotions, Yogendra was unable to answer. Understanding the guru's reason to be emotional, a disciple of his, brought a glass of water. Yogendra thanked him with a smile, and then he turned his attention back on Sid, who didn't even blink. He just wanted to hear the answer.

"In your case, the Lord Himself is the charioteer of your life," he spoke with a flush of emotions.

The words fell on Sid's ears as if time stopped for a moment. A stream of tears rolled down from Sid's cheeks. He touched a teardrop and couldn't believe how it'd flowed, even though he wasn't in the mood for crying.

Confused, Sid queried, "Why's he doing it?"

"I can't bestow that knowledge to you. But soon you will get your all answers."

"I'm tired of waiting," Sid mumbled, and looked down.

"You're a bhakti yogi, Siddhant," Yogendra replied. "Have patience and let time do its work."

Sid's head now muddled with confusion with this new title, earlier yogi and now bhakti yogi. He felt more confused than ever. His was mind thrust into absurdity with that ambiguous answer. "I must leave now," he said without looking at Yogendra.

Yogendra nodded his head, Sid joint his palms together to form a namaste sign to show respect and got up to leave. But Yogendra stopped him as he began to walk further away.

The boy turned around. "Even if you avoid seeking answers, your charioteer will keep on enlighten you on the ultimate path," Yogendra said, his smile remained unchanged until Sid didn't leave the meeting room.

He roamed about all day long to stop his awkward nature of seeking answers, turned out it was normal — a sporadic, rare state of mind, one among thousands or whatever. But still, there was something Yogendra said that rang the bell. Something ... undefinable but clear, unreachable but close. One thing dawned on him, clear as day, he was going to get answers, and nothing can stop him.

******

A/N: I have chosen 'For your love by Krishna Das' as a song of this chapter, you'll love it. Please comment and vote your opinion on this chapter.