(museum lea - 9th)
'Dear Lea,
After all these years I am proud to say you are going to be happy in your own body and I wish you the best of luck. Maybe I should stay but I can't. I'm proud of you Lion, stay strong and keep caring about the people around you. I love you bestie. And just to tell you I'm pretty sure Dodge does too, I hope you all live happily after all this. Today was great and I'll never forget half of the facts you taught me.
From Pandora x'

Dear Pandora,
It's the next day and I can barely think straight. Because next to me is a barely clothed Max. And I am not wearing much either. To explain how this all happened I have to tell you what happened when I got home yesterday.

I opened the door with my key and walked through into the lounge where Max was sat his eyes surrounded by dried tears, I sat next to him and hugged him. From there we talked for a long time and had dinner before my mum went out to meet the girls for drinks. So we were alone for the night. And Max asked "how about we sleep in the same room? I don't want to be alone tonight." I looked at him and smiled "sure, your room though it's a king-size." Then we went up and talked then played truth or remove an item of clothing. Hence how we ended up practically naked. We were tired but I couldn't help but snuggle into his bare chest because I felt safe there. Despite all that had happened. Maybe I'm not ready yet but I will be one day. And now all I can think of is his goofy smile and the way he seemed nervous about taking off his shirt. And the way he smiled when I took off mine, revealing my scars and yet he seemed to glow in the dark air of the room. Then the socks came off and he laughed as I mimed my feet being smelly and said 'they aren't that bad Leo, watch.' Then he disappeared under the covers and tickled my foot down the centre then I heard his mouth pop open and he licked my foot then seemed to laugh a little before wriggling back up. I must admit I was blushing and he saw it. 'One day Lion.' And I know exactly what he means, so I turn away and bite my lip to stop myself making an odd sound just from that thought alone. Then we kept playing and I chose truth, so he asked me what my most sensitive body part was. I had to reply, but I won't tell you what I said. For obvious reasons, because that leads onto how I ended up in boxers. And I'm pretty sure you don't want that level of detail. Then Max answered remove and he was down to boxers. Then we just talked and I was nervous but he said 'we will only ever go as far as you are comfortable with Lion. I mean it.' And I laid there with my head on his chest, it's not flat but it is somewhere near there. He is slightly bulky and muscular but not fat. I love the way his skin looks in the moonlight it's beautifully soft and it looks golden. Dodge is a quarter Spanish and in the moonlight it shines through his skin.

I get up and throw on a bra one of the padded ones I feel feminine today so I grab a dress from my room and get changed. Then I write a note to Max and leave it next to him being careful not to disturb him in any way. Then I make breakfast because mum is still at Catherine's having bacon sandwiches and water by now before getting a taxi back and having paracetamol before going out to meet someone else later. Little did I know what was really going on and if I did I would have hugged the pair of them right then and there. I leave a plate for Max on the desk and smile as he whispers my name sleepily. And his face blushes cutely in the sunlight. Then I go to the cafe where we are meeting today.

I stroll in and sit down, "Max is still asleep, so he'll join us later." Jodie looks at me with did you eyes, and I say "we just slept in the same room so don't get any joedears." Jodie frowns. We all know where we need to go next but none of us want to go there. So we decide to go to the park and sit in a small circle instead. It's at this point that everything starts to sink in again and I see everything go glassy before even realise I'm crying. Then Jodie is hugging me and she is saying something but I can't work out what. Then everything seems to spin and it stops when Max runs towards me out of the trees. "Lea, it's going to be okay." Then I realise that Jodie was holding something shut, my stitches have popped again. Before I know it I'm asleep and I wake up in my mum's car on the way back to the house. Max is worried looking, and I ask "What happened?" Except my lip is wobbly and I'm half asleep so it's barely audible. "Your stitches popped again, they are supposed to stay until next week but they have taken them out and bandaged you up. We are going to go out later but only if you want to." Max looks at me concerned. "Um sure where to?" He smirks back at me and chuckles to himself, "That is for me to know and you to find out." My mum smiles and I instantly realise that she is in on it. "Fine but what am I wearing?" I ask my mum. She says, "I have already picked it out for you." I lean into Max's shoulder and everything is peaceful again.

We then have dinner and I sit remembering the dance. Me and Dodge danced together because Quinn had vanished and told Dodge to keep an eye on me. Not that I minded in the slightest. I mean as much as I loved Quinn, I always liked Dodge from the day we met in the rain. And the way he walked me home after was just so sweet, then the way he called me Leo first. Then after the dance, we talked and I told him on the balcony of the town hall about my operation. And he said he wouldn't tell Quinn because he was bad about that stuff. He found out anyway just before it happened. And came storming around to my house, then rushed to my room and shouted so it's true then. I said yes Quinn it is. And he pinned me to my wardrobe by my hands. His eyes looked fierce and I struggled, then I said "Quinn I think we should take a break while I transition. Because it'll be a hard time for both of us." He let go and said fine. Then the next time I saw him was Oliver's party. And I think you know how that ended. I squirm in my seat and Max tucks me into his shoulder, "Are you okay Leona?" I feel the panic hit and Max just tells me that it is going to be alright. My mum is out of the room and I whisper Quinn no in a screech. I think Max's fist clenches but then he relaxes and tells me that I'm safe. I cry into his chest and I can't stop. I keep seeing Quinn and I don't want to. I want to see Max, his calm soft face in the sunshine or even the rain just because it is him. Not because of the weather, just him being there makes it better.

He walks me upstairs with a blindfold on and says we are going somewhere special but first you need to trust me and your mum to get you ready so you don't spoil the surprise. I nod, I have to admit I'm intrigued where are we going? Is this where Max was before he turned up at the park? I feel Max tug off my dress and replace my bra with a strapless one. I blush for a moment then swallow that down. Then I hear a vague rustling and feel fabric being tugged up my legs. It feels soft and cosy yet expensive. I wonder what colour it is? It is most likely red because it is mine and Max's favourite colour to see on each other.

Max leads me down and into a car then I hear the engine start. So many questions are going through my head, where are we going? What happened last month? Why am I being blindfolded? I can imagine Pandora giggling next to me and saying 'You'll never guess where he is taking you, Leona, I can't wait until we get there. You two are amazing together you know that right? My little love birds, Lea and Max or Meona or Laxwel.' her laughter was contagious to those around her. But my face drops for a second because I can fee her slipping away and Max sliding in next to me and I am crying all over again. It is a bit of luck that the darkness of the car means Max slips my blindfold off and tucks me into him. I don't even know what is wrong with me, it was 5 days ago and I am crying still. Then Max says "Lea we all need to cry sometimes it's healthy for us and helps us move on. So let it out and if you want to sing or a hug just say and I'm here okay?" I nod my eyes still running away. Then I hear my mum playing impossible on the radio and I start singing with Max. Then like the whole world wasn't watching Max presses his lips to my forehead, and I feel a tingle from his warmth. Then the car stops and Max wipes my eyes, then places his hand over my eyes as he leads me out with the other one. I smell lavender and hear music. Then Max stops and I do too and he says 'surprise'.

My jaw drops onto the pavement as I see the blue lights shining out of the town hall. And the words for Pandora Brown our fallen angel, then I recognise the song its Pandora's favourite 'too many tulips on the ground'. It was written by her dad who was a songwriter and he sang it then it was a record. And I see Max looking back at me, "This is amazing Max and Mum, thank you so much its... just so beautiful." And my mum smiles back, "It was Max's idea dear, I just invited people and booked the venue. Have a good night you two and Lea I expect you two back by 2 or earlier please." Then I hug my mum and then she drives away. Me and Max stand there as Eve takes a couple photo and I realise that I am wearing a rose ball gown which Max chose out as an early birthday present. I love it and he looks so handsome in his red silk tuxedo with his black bow tie and white shirt. His hair looks like fire and I get lost in his eyes as we turn into each other for the photo a sea of grey and blue like the waves on a pebble beach. And then I smile at the camera his arm around my shoulder. The perfect beginning for an amazing night.

Although I wish Pandora was here, I want to live tonight as if she is in Heaven watching us and giggling as I blush at Max calling me beautiful every time the music halts. And at the way, we sway together as each song plays. I think about that day in the rain and before I know it I am thinking about Quinn and that day at my house, it was Dodge who walked in after him and shouted at him and eventually grabbed him off and made him leave. I guess he was always there when I needed him. And I never even noticed until we were swaying in the hall. And I see Eve with Redwing they look happy and I can't help but think they look cute in the blue light. Xalan is with Kay who is biting her lip, I guess she found someone new after all. Kay looks at me and mimes 'You look stunning tonight, and you and Max are so freaking cute.' I smile back at that, and mime 'so are you two'. She blushes and we turn away as another song plays. I see Josie and Simon in matching grey suits, and they both look amazing. Then Oliver is with Sonia I think she was Pandora's friend from boxing. And a new more upbeat song comes on and it's mine and Dodge's song. We talked about it and agreed, far too young to die by Panic at the disco. Then we go to the window and talk.

"It's the saucepan constellation, Max. Look isn't it pretty." I am so excited and happy that I look like I am jumping an invisible skipping rope. And Max laughs at me then says, "It is nothing compared to my lion, and I would choose you over the stars any day. Leona, you are the one I love and this is my idea of a perfect night, just you and me. I know you love dancing and singing, so I wanted to make you happy. And by your face I think it worked, I love you so much and I hope we stay together until we part for a short while and meet again in Heaven." And the whole world seems to stand still at that moment, "I love you too Max." Then we are watching the stars until Max asks me for another dance with a pre set up the bouquet of roses, and he starts singing 'perfect two'. Then I feel my heartbeat in time to the beat and I feel this warmth it takes over my whole body from my chest and I lose myself in the best way. As I kiss him. The night was so perfect and now we are walking back drunk on love and mocktails. I couldn't be much happier, and max couldn't either. Rest well Pandora, I hope you are having fun where ou are and I hope you are proud of me.

Lots of love from Leona the one and only x