I've said as I walked in the door:
"SKADDOODLE YA NOODLES, CUZ CASSIA'S HOME"

"I've got to use the restroom, so if someone would kindly go out to the car and unstrap my four 5-gallon water bottle children and bring them inside, that would be great."

"Itttssssss RONNIE!"

"Salt lick and salt block, get down here so we can talk!"

"Have I told you how much I hate construction?"

"Yes, the cats are alive. No, I haven't killed them yet."

"*singing Soft Kitty at the top of my lungs as I slam the door open*"

"someBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD WAS GONNA ROLL ME-"

"College is like highschool, but harder and the boys are more immature."

"Can we have pizza tonight? My graveyard stomach doesn't have any ghosts left in it."