The awakening in the brightly lit skies by the winter sun is a visual poetry. Every morning I wake up like kings. All blessed at the same time, with the same conscious experience. My eyes began to squint as they embraced the sunlight, my heart and my senses began to expand. Still under the agony of the harsh transition from dreams to reality.

Some may not call it that, but for me it is because it is precisely the moment to contemplate the messages of our dreams, to weave them into the fabric of truth and then feel ready to greet the new day. Without waiting, my brain finally woke up from sleep and began to replay some of the last scenes of my dreams that seemed more real than ever.

I opened my eyes better, surveying the surroundings I was in. I got up from the couch I was lying on, as if it were an emergency. My heart started beating fast and in my mind there was a turmoil that together resembled panic with threats. I got up from the couch where I was, placing my feet on the floor.

I still had yesterday's clothes on, except for the work badge which was pinned on one arm of the couch. I didn't know where I was and I didn't even know the place around me. I put my hand on my mouth, which hurt endlessly when I yawned. There was no sound in that house and no human foot was visible. The kitchen island was in front of me. I had my eyes fixed on the sink faucet and felt the need to drink some water from all that pain.

I got up without thinking twice, opening the faucet and taking a glass that was on the side of the counter. I drank it, gulping down all the water like a wild animal and seeking mercy from that liquid for my mouth. I started to choke, trying to remember what might have happened the day before, trying to remember who was the last person I had seen.

"Tian"

I let his name out as if my lips were not under my control. That water not only moistened my mouth but at the same time refreshed my mind. The images of the night of splendor were not dreams but reality itself. That name seemed to disrupt all the stable balances of my being. I dropped the glass on the ground, which shattered a bit. My heart started shaking and it seemed like an invisible hand was squeezing it until it burst. I slipped to the floor, rubbing my temples in a sign of relief. Tears filled my eyes at the thought that I would not see Tian again. Everything seemed so surreal, so far away to understand.

"What are you doing there on the floor?"

A familiar voice caught my attention. I raised my tear-filled eyes and met his gaze. It was him. That's all I knew about him. He was the boy from yesterday and the same boy who had poured me coffee.

"Let's get up from here and clean your hand"

I looked at my hand, which was covered in blood. A shard of glass from the broken glass had cut it and I hadn't even noticed.

"Don't worry, it won't hurt", he assured me. "If you don't look at the wound"

I hung my head aside, leaving the familiar stranger to clean my hand. I was so preoccupied with the pain I had, for the first time in my life I had no problem with what was in front of me, even if he was the murderer himself.

"We're done. Are you okay?"

Every word of his entered one ear and came out the other. Every time he spoke, a tear touched my face, burning it all. I didn't pay attention to him wiping it. I let it flow freely as I wanted to kill that pain that had taken hold of me, and let my spirit free. Let everything burn like fire itself.

"Crying is natural but also strong, do you know why? Because it belongs to those who have the courage to show their vulnerable selves. And you are doing that. You are strong and have the courage to let your tears flow freely without worrying about what you're facing."

I still didn't listen to him. Everything he said seemed drowned in the canal of my ear. It seemed like a distant, disturbing radio, so unclear, that you didn't know where it faded.

"I will do something for you, to eat, to give you strength"

The air that was created when he stood up towards the kitchen, swirled and rotated around me as if I were a massive rock within a large and wide river of tears. I didn't want anything, not water, not food, nothing. I wanted him to smile. I wanted Tian to smile and hug me tightly and tell me that all this was just a stupid prank.

But no. For him, there was no such fate anymore. He was no longer "him" but just a corpse, the vehicle he traveled throughout his life. His material home in this plane of existence. Healing from loss takes more time than the extraction and breaking of bones.