The little ray of sunshine

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The incline was steeper than he remembered. It took a toll on his knees and his back, but he pushed on, groaning when he slipped on a patch of wet leaves. A cloud of relief escaped his lips when he managed to right himself and save the priceless item he was carrying. It was wrapped in an Aldi's bag to protect it from the rain.

"Sorry about that!" he whispered. "You deserve a velvet shawl and flowers, but it was all I had."

His back on fire, he pushed on, leaning into the sheets of rain that seemed determined to stop him from getting there. He ignored the steady stream of tourists flowing down the mountain, their brollies fighting a futile battle against nature's forces.

Some people stopped for a second and shouted something at him over the noise of the deluge before rushing on. He couldn't understand them, but assumed that they were informing him that it was raining. Some people were helpful that way.

His clothes were plastered to his skin and he was shivering, but none of that registered. His mind saw a sunny day, crowds of people heading up and down the path, an occasional horse and carriage going by, filled to the brim with tourists, some taking pictures, others visibly humbled by the sight in front of them. He felt a warm, soft hand on his arm.

"You wanna turn around, bud! Thunderstorm's coming."

The man jumped. The comforting sensation of skin on skin faded, the memory flushed away with the growing stream of water racing towards the valley.

A young man who looked a little like a sewer rat with sopping wet hair and a drenched Ospreys shirt addressed him in English. The old man glanced at the Liverpool football shirt he was wearing. It must have given his nationality away.

The shirt was loose now. Not that long ago, he would not have been able to squeeze his protruding belly into it, he presumed. He had never tried, hadn't even known that she had kept the old thing at the back of her wardrobe. He should have known, though. She had been a hopeless romantic. After all, he had worn this shirt 55 years ago to the day. The day that had marked the beginning of both their lives.

"I'm alright!" The man gave the concerned traveller a smile.

"Sir, just turn around. No offense, but you look a bit peaky there."

"That's the plan." The man deadpanned, surprising himself. He thought that his sense of humour had evaporated with her last breath.

The Rugby fan clapped him on the shoulder. "Good one, that! Come on then, let's get dry. Try again tomorrow."

"Don't worry about me, but I need to get up there today. For her!" His voice broke a little, when he held the item he was carrying out to him.

The man looked at the Aldi bag in confusion, but then something clicked. He held out his hand.

"Name's Martin. Ahm,... are you carrying... ah..."

"Richard. Ah, yes, my late wife. I met her here 55 years ago today. Beautiful day it was; just like her."

"You know that what you're about to do is forbidden in this country?"

Richard nodded. "It was her last wish. I'm going to honour it. And it'll have to be today."

Richard started up the path again, his cancerous lungs wheezing with the effort.

A minute or so later, he felt a hand on his arm, cold and wet. Not a memory then. He turned his head.

"At least let me carry her for you, matey. I'm sure she wouldn't mind."

"I appreciate your help, Martin, but a thunderstorm is coming, and I'm a stranger to you."

"You can hardly stand up straight, but you are braving mother nature to take your wife up to the top one more time before you say good-bye, consequences be damned. I don't need to know anything else about you." He held out his arms. "I'll be careful with her, I promise."

Richard clutched the urn that held the ashes of his life tighter.

"You're right, she wouldn't mind. But I do."

Martin nodded. Together they made their way up to the castle on the now deserted road in silence, Martin making sure to stay half a step behind the old man so that he could catch him if he tripped.

"Must be difficult. To lose her after such a long time, I mean."

Richard just glanced at his new companion.

"My wife died three years ago. Breast cancer. We'd only been married four years. Our daughter was two at the time." Martin didn't know where this had come from all of a sudden.

Thunder rumbled in the sky.

Richard stopped walking.

"I am so sorry, Martin. At least I had my Mary for most of my life. I would have been lost without her."

Martin thanked the Lord above that it was pouring down. He took an unsteady breath.

His mind wandered off to his little Lilly, now safe in the hands of his parents. They had seen him implode behind the façade of strength and poise.

"Take a few weeks off, Ricky! Get help! Think of Lilly! She's already lost one parent."

The desperation in his mother's voice had been a wake-up call. He hadn't even noticed how far he had already sunk into the dark void. He had decided to go on a trip to clear his head before making any decisions.

A gnarled hand found his shoulder.

"Tell me about your wife, Martin!"

Martin's head jerked up. People usually gasped when someone accidentally mentioned his dead wife, then changed the subject immediately.

"Dalina,..." He couldn't remember the last time he had said her name out loud. It felt odd but freeing. "Dalina had the most amazing voice and the most infectious laugh. She was beautiful inside and out. She loved Lilly so much. No pain stopped her from looking after her little one, right up till the end." Martin swallowed. "She was scared, not so much of dying but of leaving Lilly and me. Still, she comforted me when it should have been the other way around. And she gave me the strength to get through the first weeks after... after she died."

Despite the rain and the fog, they were close enough to be able make out the outline of the impressive castle on top of the hill.

"Hell of a building! It has seen its own fair share of tragedy, but it's still standing proud and strong!" Richard answered. "It's tough, though. I understand. I thought about it, too, before I started up the hill. Why wait for the cancer to finish me off? Where's the point?" A tiny ray of sunshine wormed its way through the cloud cover and illuminated the turret. "That right there, Martin, that's the point. There's light in the dark, wherever you are!"

Richard's voice trembled.

"What's your light, Richard?" Martin asked, his voice low.

"My light shines through the memories of her and brightens in our children and grandchildren. When I see Mary again, I know she'll want to know everything about them. I need to be here to collect more memories for her. Have you found your light yet, Martin?"

Martin wiped the rain from his cheeks.

"I haven't seen any light for years, but maybe... I just wasn't looking. Lilly shines brighter than the sun. How did I not see this?"

Richard smiled despite the agony his old body put him through. He stumbled up the last steps to the castle, but Martin caught him.

Thunder rumbled all around them, but the little ray of sunshine had fought away the clouds around it. The outline of the sun peeked through and warmed the men's freezing faces. A rainbow appeared behind the magnificent castle like a greeting from above.

Richard freed his wife from the Aldi bag.

Martin put his hand on Richard's shoulder, drinking in the sunlight.

"There's nobody here, mate. Now's your chance!" Martin encouraged Richard to go ahead with the hardest thing he'd ever done in his life.

The rain was cold, but Richard's heart was warm when he opened the urn.

He watched the little grey particles sink to the ground just centimetres away from where he was standing. The rain weighed them down, but they caught the sun just before hitting the ground, glittering for a second like fairy dust.

Richard bowed his head.

"You're here now, Mary. Here, where it all began. Our journey isn't over, though, sweetheart; you have just quickened your pace. I am right behind you, I promise!"

"Amen," Martin added simply.

Then his phone vibrated.

A text message from Lilly, sent with the help of his parents.

"Daddy, when is your journey over? Are you coming home soon?"

Richard nudged Martin.

"Yes, sunshine! Very soon!" Martin typed.

Then they both turned and, with a last look at the fading rainbow, they began their descent back into life.

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