// Dean

The guilt was eating away at him.

"Okay, it was nice being your...friend this school year Dean."

That was a month and a half ago. Almost two months. He was staring at the bold red numbers telling him it was six in the morning. He didn't sleep that night- he hadn't slept in a while.

Everyone had noticed how reserved he had gotten over the new year. His friends, his girlfriend! For Christ's sake his girlfriend! Lisa had begun asking questions and trying to get Dean to interact with her but nothing was working.

He lay there, dazed and wishing he had never taken the stupid dare. And it wasn't even that bad! He didn't finish the dare and Castiel had not fallen in love with him! So Dean shouldn't have to be so worried.

But he was, and it was consuming his life.

Castiel had been ignoring him during this time. He would occasionally glance at him if they had a class together but it was a look of sympathy and it made Dean feel like shit.

Sam had been bugging Dean to apologize for some time. Gabriel had joined in too. Michael was threatening him. There was also Michael's "boyfriend/not boyfriend" who was taking his side.

It was all just collapsing over him.

Dean sat up and stared at the wrinkles in his sheets. His vision was blurry but he just blinked it away. He could hear Sam's snoring from the other room. The sun was doing it's best to shine through his curtains and the birds had begun to sing. He pulled open the cream colored curtains and let the sun temporarily blind him. Taking a deep breath, he made his way to the bathroom.

He took one look in the mirror and thought to himself, Dean, Halloween was months ago, take off the mask.

But that was just what he looked like.

Deprived of sleep.

He took off his shirt and boxers and stepped into the tub. He turned on the cold water and let it run over his body, waking him up. He hummed a random song he had heard on the radio and thought of ways he could apologize to Cas.

Option 1: try to play it cool and act like nothing happened.

No...Cas would totally hate him for that.

Option 2: ramble on about how it was all a dare and how he didn't mean to hurt him and stuff.

No...Cas would definitely hate him for that.

Option 3: just straight up apologize to Cas without any major details. He didn't even have to know about the dare!

GREAT IDEA DEAN!

He didn't realize he had been in there for a while until Sam started knocking on the door. Dean blinked multiple times and cut the water off. He wrapped a towel around his waist and walked out of the bathroom, taking his clothes with him.

"Finally. " Sam rolled his eyes and ran into the bathroom.

Dean laughed a little but just flopped back onto his bed. He heard the door to the bathroom open and soon Sam was standing at his door.

"You okay?" He asked. Dean made a groaning noise and rolled onto his back.

"I don't know, man. I just feel guilty about everything!"

Sam pursed his lips and nodded. "You've been feeling like this for the past few weeks Dean. It's time you did something about it. Hurry and get dressed for school- I'll have breakfast made in ten."

+

He stared at the giant doors of the school, taunting him.

Step inside Dean. You knew it would come to this eventually.

Sam had gone inside with Gabriel a while ago and gave Dean a reassuring smile and a good luck.

"Dean!" Two arms wrapped around his waist and squeezed gently enough not to hurt him.

He turned around and came face to face with Lisa who gave him a quick kiss.

"How was your weekend Dean?" She asked.

Terrible.

"Great." He smiled. "How was yours?"

"Not that good. I missed you. I've missed our weekend movie night cuddling at my place." She pouted.

"I'm sorry Lisa. I've just had a lot on my mind lately."

"It's Cas right?" She asked and Dean nodded. "Well you have lunch with him. You should take the time to apologize."

Dean scratched his neck. "Lisa...I don't know if I ca- "

"Dean Winchester. It has been two months. You need to fix your friendship with him."

The bell rang and they made their way into the school, hand in hand.

Dean walked his girlfriend to her class and kissed her goodbye. He walked to the nearest set of stairs, ready to go to the third floor. He was halfway up when he saw someone stopped in front of him.

He looked up and saw Cas staring down at him. The people were clearing out of the stairs until it was only them left.

Dean managed to give a small smile and rubbed the back of his head.

"I- "

"I- "

They spoke at the same time and each went silent at the same instance. Castiel opened his mouth again but shook his head and walked down the stairs past him.

Dean watched him walk away. Castiel was going quickly down the hall, pulling his bag further up on his back.

Turn around. Come on Cas turn around.

As if on cue, Castiel glanced behind him, saw Dean staring, and quickly turned away again, his face red.

Dean groaned and punched the wall next to him, immediately causing pain and attention from bystanders. Dean held his hand close to himself and walked it off.

It was definitely going to bruise.

+

Fourth period.

Dean got there early and took a seat behind Cas' desk. He waited patiently for him to arrive.

The first bell rang and nothing. They were instructed to begin their work.

The second and final bell rang, signaling Castiel was late to their class.

Dean worked on his assignments. He was too focused on Cas' whereabouts, he was sure most of his answers were wrong.

Fifteen minutes later, Castiel walked in, out of breath but still composed.

"Ah, I see you've decided to join us for class, Mr. Novak. Where were you?"

Dean watched Cas take a deep breath and hold up a small white sheet.

"At the nurse's office." He said.

Dean's attention was off the charts, he was close to getting up and asking Cas if he was okay.

"Why is that?" The teacher continued to ask.

Castiel sighed and asked if he could speak to him outside. They were out there for a few minutes and Castiel soon came in and took his seat in front of Dean.

"Hey, Cas- you okay?" Dean asked, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Castiel tensed up and he shrugged Dean's hand away. "Fine. Thanks."

He began pulling out a spiral for the class and worked on the assignment. Dean tore a piece off of his paper and began writing on it.

Are you sure you're okay?

He folded it up and tossed it onto Cas' desk. Castiel opened it up and sighed. He began writing on it and Dean tapped his foot impatiently.

Castiel tossed the paper behind him and missed. The paper landed two desks behind them and Dean had to hold in his laughter.

He asked a few people to hand him the paper and he finally received it.

Yes, Dean. I said that already.

Dean hummed to himself and wrote another sentence.

Why were you at the nurse's office?

He tossed it back to Cas.

Michael had an anxiety attack.

Dean bit the inside of his cheek and replied.

I'm so sorry. Is he okay?

Yes...thank you.

Dean wasn't sure what to say about Michael- so he cut straight to the chase.

Can we talk...in person?

That's when Castiel stood up and threw the note away. Dean felt his stomach drop. He was never going to be able to talk to Cas again...he was going to be hated by his best friend forever. Dean held his breath and looked down at his paper.

"We'll talk at lunch." Cas said.

Dean quickly looked up and smiled widely, Cas wasn't looking at him, but Dean could tell he was also smiling.

+

Dean was sitting at a booth in the cafeteria. He was nervously fumbling with his thumbs and constantly wiping sweat off his forehead.

Awkwardly enough, Michael and Lucifer had the same lunch and they sat at a table across from him. To make sure Dean didn't mess anything else up.

"Are you okay, Michael? I heard you had a panic attack?" Dean had asked.

"Fine fine! Don't worry. Cas and Lucifer helped." Michael waved his hand, trying to get rid of the subject.

"I swear Dean Winchester, if you ruin my boyfriend's brother's life, I will end you." Lucifer had said.

"Lucifer, stop telling people we're dating. But seriously Dean. We will end you." Michael finished and dragged Lucifer to their table.

He didn't want to test that theory.

Five minutes later, Castiel was standing at Dean's table. Dean hadn't really noticed how overwhelming Cas was.

"Hey, Cas." Dean whispered, smiling up at him.

Castiel gave the same soft smile, making the corners of his eyes crinkle slightly.

"Hello, Dean."

Dean quickly shot up and awkwardly stared at him. Castiel returned the awkward stare and Michael and Lucifer began whispering from afar.

"Take- take a seat." Dean gestured towards the booth. Castiel seemed to laugh at that and sat down, Dean took his seat again and sort of just...stared at him.

Castiel cleared his throat and looked down at the table, avoiding Dean's gaze.

"Why did you want to talk?" Cas asked quietly. Dean blinked a few times and swallowed a growing lump in his throat.

"Cas...I'm sorry."

At that, Castiel looked up at him with wide eyes, shimmering with hope.

"For?"

"For being an idiot and completely ignoring you these past weeks. Cas, it's almost been two months since we last spoke and- I...Cas I'm so sorry. I missed my best friend."

Castiel sucked in a deep breath and covered his mouth.

"I didn't know I was your best friend." He whispered between his fingers.

Dean chuckled and stared into his eyes. "Of course you are. You always will be."

Castiel removed his hand from his face and placed it back in his lap. Dean went on.

"I never meant to make you feel bad...I was just going through a rough time. I never wanted to push you away. I really hope you can forgive me. If you can't, I understand. I don't deserve a friend like you."

Castiel bit the inside of his cheek and looked away. That must have given Dean his answer because he sighed in defeat and started to get up.

"Why...why did you stop talking to me?" Cas asked in a hushed voice. Dean's stomach dropped. He didn't want to say anything about the dare. Cas didn't have to know. But he should!

"Like I said...I was going through a rough time. I was trying to save money for a pair of Sam's glasses. I got into some trouble with a a few people. I guess you could say the were threatening me, but it's okay now. I blew them off and I managed to help get Sam's glasses- Lisa helped. Just- it's okay. I don't want to get into any details." He was getting nervous. Can was gonna piece things together. He was gonna find out about the dare! Dean felt his palms beginning to sweat and he rubbed them across his jeans vigorously.

Castiel practically reached across the table and stared at Dean with worry spilling out of his eyes.

"Are you okay? Why didn't you tell me this was happening, Dean? I could've helped. With Sam's glasses and the people you were dealing with." He spilled out the words faster than a child could spill milk. Dean felt like crying. He wasn't sure if we wanted to hug Cas or just get up and run away in shame. Maybe he'd do both. But he stayed and let the guilt consume him.

"Dean." He continued. "I- I forgive you." He took Dean's hand in both of his and rubbed his thumb across the side of it.

Dean let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and gave Cas one of the best smiles he had.

Castiel laughed and stood up, extending his arms out for Dean, who also stood and hugged him tightly. The bell rang, signaling lunch was over and Michael and Lucifer stood up to leave.

They hugged and if you asked who secretly shed a few tears, they would both lie and make up excuses.

"I'm glad you told me, Dean." Cas said when he pulled away.

Dean smiled again and subtly wiped his eyes.

"Everyone get back to class!" An administrator yelled.

Castiel looked up and Dean with adorable hopeful eyes.

"Feel free to walk me to class." He began walking away.

Dean chuckled and wrapped his arm around Cas' shoulders, walking alongside him. His best friend.

"So...you gonna tell me what happened to your hand?" Cas asked, gesturing towards the bruises on Dean's knuckles.

"Oh um- I just hurt my hand. Don't worry about it."

"Okay then..."

"I missed you."

"I know. I did too."

Yo. I am so sorry this took me so long. I just can't seem to grasp the rope for the update-on-a-regular-basis boat.

The picture is me and Tom Higgenson, whom I met last Thursday at a High School Nation event happening. Pardon my face- I had just finished giving away caps to a bunch of ungrateful kids and had to help clean trash and stuff, so my face is crap.

You can see what I look like and how tiny I am.

Sorry for any hiccups. Hope you enjoyed! Please leave comments! I love reading them!

Ana.