{Note :- Mature Language. I will mark it with A/N at the start and end}

As soon as Wei Ying falls asleep Lan Zhan leaves their bed and starts meditating.
He needs to be prepared to face any and all challenges that they may encounter tomorrow.
Lan Zhan doesn't know how long he concentrates on energizing his core.

After a couple of hours Wei Ying too leaves the bed and sits next to Lan Zhan and starts meditating.

Wei Ying clears his mind and thinks of all the problems they may encounter while dealing with the dream demon.
He is sure that he can successfully summon it inside him and that Lan Zhan's enquiry will work. But he is not sure of many elements.

Wei Ying had sounded confident when he had reassured Lan Zhan about his plan, but the truth was he was not very confident.

A thought crosses Wei Ying's mind. He opens his eyes. The room is dark. Night has come. He lights a candle and looks at Lan Zhan's calm serene face. He puts his hand over Lan Zhan's knee and softly says, "Lan Zhan, it's late. How much longer are you going to..."
Before he can complete his sentence Lan Zhan opens his eyes. It takes a few seconds to adjust to the low light in the room. He looks at Wei Ying and smiles, "I am done for now. Are you hungry?"

"Not yet... I need to talk to you about tomorrow... Lan Zhan , I was thinking of trying to form a bond with the seal again... " Wei Ying starts hesitantly.

Lan Zhan's face darkens.
"Wei Ying,  you know the effect it has on your temperament and psychology. You are in no condition to attempt a connection." Lan Zhan says sincerely holding Wei Ying's hand.

"Lan Zhan, I want to try... " Wei Ying continues.
"Why?" Lan Zhan interjects.

Wei Ying understands. He gently squeezes Lan Zhan's hand as if reassuring him, "It might give us a better fighting chance against the dream demon."

"Wei Ying, what are you not telling me? You said you will be able to summon the demon and I will be able to expel it once the enquiry is done....but now you don't sound so sure... Do you have doubts?" Lan Zhan asks looking suspiciously at Wei Ying.

'Fuck!  Why is Hanguang Jun so smart... There is no way he will let me take a risk if he knows I am unsure... I  can't use the seal... At least not this time.' Wei Ying's mind supplies.

"Hahaha... Lan Zhan, you misunderstand. I was just curious to find out if the one who fixed it did a good job... And to find out who might have fixed it." Wei Ying explains trying to reassure his partner.

Lan Zhan is not buying it. He can tell there is something Wei Ying is hiding from him. He continues to look at Wei Ying intensely.
"Lan Zhan, I am hungry. Let's eat. " Wei Ying says getting up.
Lan Zhan stops him.
"Wei... " Lan Zhan starts again, but Wei Ying holds his partner's hand and places it on his heart.

"Hanguang Jun, let it go. Let's eat." Wei Ying says pulling Lan Zhan closer and places an innocent kiss on his cheek and adds hesitantly , "Hanguang Jun, I have a favor to ask..."

"Anything." Lan Zhan promises without hesitation.

Lan Zhan starts getting the dinner ready while Wei Ying sets the table.
Lan Zhan turns around and notices that Wei Ying had put their plates next to each other instead of on front of each other.
"Wei.. " Lan Zhan begins but Wei Ying cuts in hesitantly , "Ah.. Lan Zhan, about the favor... Amm...will you feed me dinner today?"

'Is he feeling so week that he wants me to feed him?' Lan Zhan thinks, worry lines appearing on his forehead.
Wei Ying looks at the change in Lan Zhan's eyes and adds, "Earlier... I just remembered that Shijie used to feed me whenever I was feeling low... It used to cheer me up.... " He pauses and looks at Lan Zhan and adds, "But if you don't want to... "
Lan Zhan smiles and adds without hesitation, "I want to."
The smile Wei Ying directs at Lan Zhan hits him like the first beautiful rays of sun after a long gloomy night.

Lan Zhan feels like his heart is overflowing with warmth.
'Beautiful...precious... mine...' Lan Zhan's heart skips a beat. He needs to capture this feeling and subconsciously Lan Zhan walks over to his husband and places an innocent kiss on his forehead. Wei Ying holds him there and looks up at him.

"Lan Zhan... there is more." Wei Ying adds hesitating again.

"Mn?"

Wei Ying's eyes don't meet the older man's when he says,  "I want to feed you too."

"Mn?" Lan Zhan's eyes widened. He did not see this coming.

"Lan Zhan...I know you will probably refuse... " Wei Ying adds but Lan Zhan interjects, "Why?"

"I don't know... I just wanted to... I guess I wanted to feel closer... " Wei Ying says sincerely and meets Lan Zhan's eyes again.

Lan Zhan feels uncomfortable. He doesn't remember being fed before. He was very young when his mother passed away but even before that his visits were short and far apart. He doesn't think his mother ever fed him.  He doesn't know how he feels about this request. He wants to refuse.
"Wei Ying... I don't... " Lan Zhan tries to say but he can't bear to see the disappointment in Wei Ying's eyes.

Lan Zhan stops and smiles at his partner, "If thats want you want... then fine."
Wei Ying's face brightens again.

Lan Zhan sits and calls Wei Ying over to join him. Wei Ying smiles mischievously and comes. He sits on Lan Zhan's lap instead.

"Childish." Lan Zhan scolds, and smirks.
"Lan Zhan it will be easier this way...see. " Wei Ying says as he directs Lan Zhan's hand to his mouth.

Lan Zhan smiles affectionately and starts feeding Wei Ying.

After a couple of bites Wei Ying stops Lan Zhan and takes a spoon full of soup to Lan Zhan's mouth.

"Lan Zhan.. open up." Wei Ying says when Lan Zhan keeps staring at the spoon. When Lan Zhan still doesn't move, Wei Ying opens his mouth and goes,"Aaaa".

That seems to make Lan Zhan come back to reality and he opens his mouth.

Wei Ying happily feeds him..but after a few bites, he stops when he sees tears rolling down Lan Zhan's eyes.

"Lan Zhan...Please don't. If it makes you so uncomfortable and sad I will stop... you don't have to feed me either." Wei Ying says wiping the tears from Lan Zhan's face and trying to get out of his lap.

Lan Zhan's grip on Wei Ying tightens.
"Don't." Lan Zhan says. His voice barely a whisper.

"Don't what, Hanguang Jun?" Wei Ying asks and cups Lan Zhan's face in his palms.
"Don't stop." Lan Zhan says softly.
"Don't stop feeding  you?" Wei Ying says unsure.
"Don't stop wanting me...wanting to be with me....please... I can't go back. " Lan Zhan says. He sounds scared.. Hesitant.. Unsure and a bit broken.

Wei Ying's eyes widen for a second. 'He doesn't want to go back to being alone... Not feeling anything... Not being with anyone... He is afraid I will leave him... How?' Wei Ying's mind gets plunged with questions.
He hugs Lan Zhan tight.

'I don't have a mother.' Lan Zhan's words, spoke many years ago in Cloud reassess echo in Wei Ying's mind.
He remembers how much of a loner Lan Zhan was when they first met.

'He had a family but he did not have intimacy... His chilhoood was devoid of affection...Hanguang Jun... Is that why you are afraid to take our relationship further? Is that why you are unsure?' Wei Ying thinks as he buries his face in his husband's neck and holds him tighter.

After a few minutes Wei Ying finally looks at Lan Zhan's face and speaks , "Lan Zhan, I love you. All of you. I will never stop."

When Lan Zhan doesn't meet Wei Ying's eyes, he turns Lan Zhan's face towards him and kisses his brow.

"I can't tell you in words how much I love you my Fuddy Duddy." Wei Ying adds placing a kiss on the tip of Lan Zhan's nose.

"Now, let me feed my husband." Wei Ying says authoritatively and starts feeding Lan Zhan again.

After a few bites Lan Zhan reciprocates the smile Wei Ying is directing at him.

They finish feeding each other.

Wei Ying closes his eyes and extends his face towards Lan Zhan to have it wiped.
Lan Zhan looks at it for a few seconds and places a kiss on Wei Ying's lips.

"Lan Zhan!... " Wei Ying says sounding surprised and places a hand on his lips. He adds in mock anger , "Hanguang Jun..how could you?  I am just three years old! You are supposed to wipe my mouth."

Lan Zhan blinks a few times and smirks and adds simply, "I am.. wiping it." and starts placing pecks on Wei Ying's lips.

After a few seconds Lan Zhan stops only to be met with Wei Ying's cute shy smile.
"Lan Zhan... I think... my coolness is rubbing off on you." Wei Ying says without meeting his partner's eyes.

With that Wei Ying gives a quick hug to Lan Zhan and gets off his lap and both of them finish putting things away.
Once back in their room, Wei Ying starts in a serious note, " Lan Zhan, I need to ask you somethings and I need to tell me the truth. Trust me. I can handle it. "
Lan Zhan doesn't like where the conversation is going.
"Wei Ying, it late. Let's talk..." Lan Zhan's starts in a soothing tone.
Wei Ying puts a finger on Lan Zhan's lips.
"Lan Zhan, I need to know. Please. So don't hide anything from me. If we are to have a happy life ,there can't be any secrets between us." Wei Ying says sincerely.

Lan Zhan gulps and nods.

"Lan Zhan... I feel that you are afraid to touch me...even when I allow you to... Even when I want you to... why is that?" Wei Ying pauses and adds, "and everytime I try to touch you ...you back off... Why is that Hanguang Jun? I know you like it...why should we hold back Lan Zhan. We love each other. We want each other and we are married. What is stopping you? " Wei Ying finishes sounding a little out of breath....a little hurt.

Lan Zhan doesn't say anything for a few moments. He doesn't want to hurt Wei Ying. But he knows Wei Ying deserves the truth... The whole truth.

"Wei Ying, remember when we kissed for the first time... at that time you felt like you were cursed... But it was actually brought on by your fear of loosing me.... Aunty Yenay told me that you suffered such episodes when you first came to Lotus Cove. She told me that your heart was weak... and.. " Lan Zhan pauses and his eyes drop, "She told me to take it slow."

When Wei Ying doesn't say anything thing, Lan Zhan continues, "I am afraid that I might cause you to have an episode again..." Lan Zhan hesitates before continuing, "I want you Wei Ying...I want...I want..." Lan Zhan doesn't continue. His face flushes and tips of his ears turn red.

"Tell me Hanguang Jun... what do you want?" Wei Ying says walking over to his husband.
"I want...but I don't want to hurt you... I shouldn't ask it of you... It's not natural... I shouldn't ... " Lan Zhan finishes looking embarrassed and guilty.

Wei Ying puts his arms around Lan Zhan's neck and whispers against Lan Zhan's lips ,"Hanguang Jun Aunty Yenay knows a lot about my past but there is much she doesn't know... Maybe I had a weak heart then....but now I have you. With you I feel wanted... loved...strong. I want you. All of you. And now that I know why I felt the way I did in Lotus Cove I will control my emotions better."
Then he steps away and looks his husband in the eye and says, "I know it will hurt but that's my choice I want you... I need you Hanguang Jun... Can't you see that?"

Lan Zhan slowly raises his eyes to look at Wei Ying.
'Open.. Honest.. Sincere..' Lan Zhan's thinks.
"I know I am weak right now, but it's only temporary. So I am letting you off the hook.... for now. Hanguang Jun... but I fully intend to make you mine in every way." Wei Ying says confidently.

Then he puts his mouth close to Lan Zhan's ear and whispers something.

"Shameless!" Lan Zhan says embarrassed and tips of his ears turn red.

Wei Ying's expression changes and he starts to undo Lan Zhan's night robes.
"Wei Ying! What are you doing!?" Lan Zhan says holding Wei Ying's wrists.

"Lan Zhan, did you heal the cuts?" Wei Ying asks meeting his husband's eyes.

"No. Not necessary." Lan Zhan dismisses.

"Lan Zhan, do it now. Heal yourself." Wei Ying orders.
"Wei... " Lan Zhan starts again.
"Lan Zhan either you heal yourself or I will heal you." Wei Ying threatens.
Lan Zhan knows Wei Ying is capable of healing him....but he knows what the consequences will be. 'It will drain him....make him weaker.'

Wei Ying doesn't even give him a chance to answer. He starts chanting.
As a reflex Lan Zhan shuts him up.
... with his lips.

"Lan Zhan! That's not fair!" Wei Ying shouts but blushes at the same time.

"I will heal myself. But then... I won't be able to join you tonight. " Lan Zhan says staring into Wei Ying's eyes.

Wei Ying knows what Lan Zhan means. He knows he is being blackmailed... to choose between having Lan Zhan next to him tonight or Lan Zhan healing his cuts.

{A/N for language}

"Lan Zhan, in that case...I choose to have you..." Wei Ying says and pulls Lan Zhan by the waist towards himself.
He puts his hand on the nape of Lan Zhan's neck and starts leaving a trail of kisses from the base of Lan Zhan's neck moving upwards. Lan Zhan puts his hands on Wei Ying's waist and pulls him closer.

Wei Ying's trail of kisses has led him to Lan Zhan's lips. He stops and traces Lan Zhan's full lips with his finger tips  and parts them. Lan Zhan takes the tips in his mouth.

"Hanguang Jun, do you know I fantasize about your mouth a lot. Do you know...I imagine your mouth on me... around me." Wei Ying says a bit breathlessly. He removes his fingers from Lan Zhan's mouth on puts them in his ,he sucks on them and takes them out...and adds, "Hanguang Jun... Do you know... how hard you make me?"

Wei Ying captures Lan Zhan's parted lips with his own and gives him a deep passionate kiss.

{A/N}

Lan Zhan returns the kiss with same enthusiasm and starts backing Wei Ying up towards their bed.

{Note :- Another innocent update...almost innocent. 
Needless to say, the next update has mature content. *cough*. Please be kind and don't judge me too hard.

I have been thinking about Hanguang Jun the whole day today... It happens from time to time...just wanted to share that you anyone who actually reads these notes.

Please let me know how you guys found this update. It's a long update.
Your Votes and comments are very welcome and appreciated.
Thank you for reading.
Have a nice day}