I stomp through the castle and out the door. I have no idea where I'm going. I just want to get away from all the pointy people and other monsters that are making so many unreasonable demands on me.

I wander through the village, not paying any attention to where I'm going. I don't know why I'm so angry. Albína is right, I need to stretch. It's just that I'm tired of being in pain all the time. I'm tired of adjusting to the fatigue and stress, and then having more piled on. It's like as soon as I get a little bit of comfort they ratchet up the intensity. I just need some space to breathe.

I finally slow my steps when I see the destroyed centaur and laugh while I examine the damage. Holy cow, this thing is messed up. It's hard to believe Felger and his friends did this with their heads. How did their horns survive? The centaur's unicorn-chest is caved in several feet and the entire statue is bent sideways at the knee, making it dangle from its pedestal. Felger's going to be in big trouble for this.

"Tōpī tapā!" shouts the shopkeeper behind me. It's the elf who runs Beslie's cake shop. She's waving me in and using other words but the only ones I know are toe-pee tapa, which is like hello or something.

I go in and the elf claps her hands and races to a cabinet. Her store is filled with so many flamboyant clashing colors it's almost painful to look around. Cakes, cookies, and candies cover every surface in the overabundant way elves do everything. I see the arrangement of three-tiered fueBoes on the next table, but before I can get there the shop owner hands me an entire cake. I almost drop it because I wasn't expecting it to be so heavy. It has to weigh ten pounds, which is surprising because it's covered in a foot of spun sugar that makes it look like a cloud.

I gently place the cake on the table with a heavy thunk. "Thank you, no. I could never eat all of that. I just want a little one. A fueBo. Please." I point to the little cakes.

She grabs a tray and starts loading all of the fueBoes on to it. I throw up my hands. "No, no, no," I say too frantically. This was a mistake. I shouldn't have come here without an escort. "Just one." I hold up a finger and repeat, "One."

The shopkeeper smiles and waves her hand over the little cakes. "The yellow one with the white flowers," I say, but my words putter out when I remember she doesn't understand me. I point and she reaches for the blue one.

"No, the yellow..."

She reaches for a pink one.

"No. Yellow."

She points to a different blue one.

I nod, giving up. She hands it to me and says, "Yellow."

I nod and smile while holding up the blue fueBo with orange flowers. "Yellow."

I take a bite and she watches me so intensely she's mimicking my chewing. I try not to show my agitation when I smile, swallow, and say, "Very good. Thank you. Esterri." Then I run out of there. I can't go in these stores anymore. It's just too weird.

I wander the streets aimlessly. I try studying the odd buildings and even odder people, but everyone keeps greeting me with a smiling face while pushing trinkets and treats my way or just trying to touch me. My agitation grows with every grin. All I want is a single moment of solitude, away from expectations and failure.

I end up at the gate. I don't know if it's a good idea to go into the town on the other side of the wall, but I want to get away, just for a little while. They said I could go anywhere I want. I'm just not sure that includes outside the curtain wall. The gatekeepers stand at attention when I stroll past, but they don't try to stop me so I guess it's okay.

When I leave the walls of the castle I feel lighter, as if a heavy burden has been lifted from my chest. and now I can breathe. The thick boards of the drawbridge don't make a sound as I cross over the crystal blue moat. Little fish swim up to the surface to greet me, looking for food. I throw them the remains of my fueBo and watch them snatch it and swim away.

I wish Ashra had wind because I already feel so much lighter I would like to feel the breeze on my face. For the first time ever, I've taken some control of my life. I needed to get away from everybody, for just a little while and get some privacy and some peace. I need to be by myself to rest and regroup.

I amble through the tiny town outside the wall. The main street is a row of simple brown and white buildings with thatched roofs. It's so much plainer and less colorful on this side of the curtain wall. Albína says that the faeries used to burn these buildings down on a regular basis, so they may not want to go to the energy and expense of making them gaudy and flamboyant like everything inside the wall. Of course, now that there is peace maybe they could paint them or something.

I'm free of elves and buildings in just a few minutes. I follow the same lane I took when I first arrived. The hilly landscape is dotted with white kaddamoll sheep-looking things grazing in bright green pastures. The mountains in the distance remind me of when Dathid, Jonah and I had to climb over ridiculously-colored ponies in Gwa Twouroch, and a smile crosses my face. Who knew that would be a happy memory?

When I'm finally alone, I wander off the path and through a field. My goal is a solitary oak tree on top of a small hill. The tree stands alone, with no other trees close by.

"I'll be sitting here for a bit," I say to the tree. "I just want to be alone, so please be quiet and don't gossip about me or I'll chop you down."

I lean against the old oak and take a deep breath. It's so quiet. The tree isn't even singing. This is what I so desperately need: just a moment to myself. No responsibilities, schedules, and disappointments. I listen to my breathing as it passes through my nose. The only other sound I can hear is a few blackbirds calling to one another. My mind clears and the anger and pressure ease. My eyes grow heavy. It's so nice just having some time to not think.

I close my eyes for a moment and enjoy the solitude. "I'm sorry, tree. I didn't mean to be so rude. Thank you for making this so peaceful. I really needed it."

The tree doesn't answer. I find oak trees to be the nicest of trees. Still super annoying, but they can be reasonable. And their humor seems a bit more mature...for a tree.

I sit, listening to nothing. My new oak friend isn't even rustling its leaves. I'm about to fall asleep when my tranquility is interrupted by a flapping that sounds like a large bird landing nearby. I pay it no mind until I hear it again. I reluctantly crack an eye open.

Whatever that is in front of me, it's no bird.