I couldn't really tell if Newt liked me or just cared about me. I'm not sure but I think he's was looking for a reaction from Minho, or Frypan. Maybe it was to keep them from brawling again. Maybe-
I fell on my face like a clutz. I don't know how I can make this day more embarrassing. Unless my clothes fall off or something. I got myself up, with some minor help from Newt, and we continued our walk to the homestead in silence. We eventually reached the homestead, I don't know why it has to be so far from the kitchen but it is, and I can't change that.
Newt opened the door of the homestead for me. He is so sweet! He may not be physically perfect like Minho but he is a close with his caring and nurturing personality.
Once inside I waited for him to lead me up the stairs. Newt lead me into one of the hospital like rooms rather than one of the sleeping ones. He lead me into the smallest room where all of the equipment is held.
"This won't take long love." He said in his British accent, which I find really pleasing to hear. I love to be around him just to hear him talk sometimes. He turned to grab a few things. I couldn't see over his shoulders so I listened closely to the sounds, hoping to find out what he was grabbing. I heard scissors. And a thick liquid being squashed around in a plastic jar. Newt turned around holding, as I heard, a plastic jar, and scissors. I am suddenly nervous about the liquid in the jar. I remember when I was little that .. I can't remember who. But someone putting a thick liquid on my scratches and scrapes and it burning, stinging and sometimes, even making me scream. I back away from him. He chuckles.
"This ain't gonna hurt dearie." He says with a smile. His smile quickly fades "Unless you keep doing that to yourself and the infection gets worse." He looked like he was about to cry. He shook his head waving the tears and sad though away. He looked into my eyes "You have to promise me you'll never do that again." He says pointing to the cuts on my arms.
I blushed pulling my sleeves back down. "Why do you care Newt!" I shout at him, I feel tears coming, undeniably. It would only be minutes before I would be in the corner, bawling my eyes out. I try to hold back the tears to no avail. Newt puts the scissors and jar down on the table and walks over to comfort me. I back away from him.
"Newt. I need space." I say and the tears begin to flow. I walk around, never turning away from Newt, using the wall as my guide, to the nearest corner. And I sat there, and I cried.
At some point Newt sat next to me. When I finally noticed him I said "Newt, you'd never get what its like to be ugly and unwanted, hopeless and depressed." I said trying to sound tough.
"Actually." He said and looked into my eyes. His eyes looked sadder my own. He pulled up his sleeves revealing similar scars, but they look healed, at least more healed than my own were at the time. "And believe me, its the strangest people that save you." He chuckled a little, remembering something happy. I wish I could. Anytime I thought of Minho I think of how he attacked Frypan. And Minho was the only happy thing for me.
"Did you know that me and Minho hated each other when we first got here? Well at that time no one really liked me, or cared about me. And all of my memories, at that time, were of hate and torture and bullying." Even as he goes on I knew that our relationship will never be the same after this conversation.
Newt continues: "So I found a knife and I began to slash my arms. It was a relief from the pain. It was a physical pain that was nearly greater than the mental pain I was fighting every second of my life. It was a retreat from all of those evil words given to me." Tears were gliding down his cheeks. "One day Jeff noticed my cuts and saw they were infected, life threatening infected. Minho had remembered a concoction and made it. He could've let me die that day. Watched me suffer for my idiocy. But he didn't, he save me. And I'm still alive!" He fake smiles at me "Now you know why I'm so worried about you. Its not that your a girl. Its that I've been in your shoes. I even took it farther than just cutting though. But, thats a story for another time." And then it happened we both leaned in closer, it all happened so fast I didn't realize it happened until after. Me and Newt kissed.
"Now, would you like me to fix you?" Newt asks pretending we didn't just kiss.
I nod. I stand up gracefully. Witch is weird for me, grace isn't really my thing. Newt must've underestimated my weight and I flew into him. Landing on him with a hug. This just keeps getting weirder and weirder.
"Newt." I whisper in his ear. "If we die, let's die together."
After that..interesting moment we stopped hugging, or whatever we were doing, and he grabbed the cleanser, that was Minhos recipe, and gently poured some on my arms. He wrapped the gauze around my arms.
"Are there any on your legs?" He asked, blushing. Then changes his mind. "Cause you can do those yourself." He says handing me the jar and gauze. He tries to keep a straight face but I just let it all out. Laughing, and eventually, he laughs too. I hear a voice at the doorway.
"The hell you laughing about?" He said half smiling. It belonged to Minho.