Time was running out.

If she failed today, Yeoreum knew she had to give up. In a week, she was supposed to do her family's bidding and marry Jung Hoseok, heir to the fortune of the country's biggest entertainment conglomerate. In another world and in a different lifetime, Yeoreum would have readily agreed. Despite being brought up in the lap of privilege, Hoseok was not just attractive, he was also incredibly kind. They had been friends forever so she could say for certain he'd make the perfect husband.

Yet ever since she turned eighteen, she had only loved one man--- the one in front of her.

"I... I need to tell you something."

"What?" he asked.

"I'm... I..."

Why have you forgotten me?

The sudden weight of her despair caused her chest to cave in, making it feel like her ribs had broken and pierced her heart. She gasped.

"Wha-what's wrong?"

Fueled by the soju in her veins, Yeoreum threw caution to the wind and pressed her body against his. She had wanted to do this for so long. To be his again. To have his arms wrapped around her while he whispered sweet nothings into her ears. Of course, she was the only one holding on to him now, but it was better than nothing. Closing her eyes, she inhaled his fragrance. It was the same as before. He was her earthy bamboo forest, drenched in amber, and infused with citrus. Ah, how she loved this scent. It was the scent of her nightmares. On those nights she'd dreamed he was with her again, then she'd jolt awake to an empty bed, unable to bear the agony of her longing.

Where have you been? 

Why did you leave me behind?

She had been asking these questions for years, ever since he didn't show up at their promised spot under the Mapo bridge in Yeouido Park. On that rainy day several Decembers ago, he had disappeared from her life, like a ghost that had been banished. She had sat at that dark park, with her backpack at her feet, gritting her teeth against the cold. The next day, she had searched for him everywhere, dead sure he must have gotten into an accident or something. That was the only reason he wouldn't answer her calls. After days of fruitless searching, she'd become inconsolable. Unable to sleep, drink, or eat, she nearly left the land of the living herself. Only when her older brother Seokjin promised to find Yoongi for her did she start fighting for survival again.

Who knew it would take years? In the end, it was Yeoreum who found him, recognizing his voice over the taxi radio. It took a lot of pleading to convince Seokjin to use his connections to get Yeoreum a job at the same station. Yet she was determined. To her surprise, however, when they finally met, she realized Yoongi had no recollection of her. 

After ensuring he wasn't merely pretending, she concluded he must have drunk the Forget Me soju. Why? She had no idea. Pondering the reason hurt too much so she put that question aside, focusing, instead, on doing everything she could to make him remember. She left clues everywhere. When subtle hints like wearing a dress he loved or playing music they both liked didn't work, she had resorted to using their radio program to write him letters. Yet none of them worked.

Of course, she had contemplated just telling him everything, but if he didn't actually remember, what purpose would that serve? Rather than having him recall the past like he was reading the pages of a history book, Yeoreum wanted to rekindle the emotions they once shared. She wanted him to love her again. But three months had passed and he still looked at her as he would a stranger. 

Pulling away, Yeoreum decided to lay her last card on the table.

"Yoongi-ah---"

If somewhere in his heart feelings for her still slumbered, surely the threat of her marrying another man would awaken it?

"---I'm... I'm getting married."

Yeoreum watched him, attuned to every flicker of light and shadow chasing across his face. That was the only way she noticed the brief flash of displeasure darkening his gaze before his usual nonchalance took over. Hope flared within her.

"Congratulations," he said.

She tilted her head sideways, waiting for him to say more. When he didn't she asked, "A-aren't you curious about my fiance?"

"Why should I be? It has nothing to do with me."

And just like, hope was quickly dampened. Yeoreum fell back against her seat, feeling deflated. 

"You... you really don't care?"

"Again, why should I?"

"Be-because," she exclaimed.

He raised an eyebrow. "Because?" 

"Because you must still feel something for me!"

Instead of answering, he looked at around looking visibly concerned at the scene she was making. Yeoreum whimpered in frustration. What did the rest of the world matter when her own was falling apart around her? 

"Look at me," she urged him.

Yoongi glared at her. His expression finally shifting from indifference to anger. "What do you want?" 

"You! I just want you." 

His eyebrows drew together in obvious confusion, then after a moment, he nodded as if finally realizing something. "Is this a game or something?"

"A game?"

He raked his eyes over her body, cold icicles stabbing at her with unveiled contempt. "What is this? You're trying to have a fling before you tie the knot? Is this why you've been throwing yourself at me every chance you can get? Sorry, but I'm not playing your game."

Rationally, she understood how he might think of her efforts that way. Yet, she couldn't help but be appalled. Seven long years she'd spent loving no one but him, staying true to the promises they'd once shared, not even knowing whether he was still alive. How dare he accuse her of being the type to play around? She wanted to rage and scream and cry in desperation, yet she could only stare as he fiddled with his wallet and pulled out a few bills.

"You can ask your fiance to pick you up, right?"

Not waiting for her reply, he walked over to the shopkeeper and paid for their meal. Then, without a backward glance, he left the tent. It took Yeoreum a while to muster enough energy into pick herself up then prompt her unsteady legs to run after him. She caught sight of the back of his head before the post-midnight crowd swallowed him up.

"Min Yoongi!"

She ran after him, her boots sliding against the icy pavement. At the intersection, she lost her balance and fell against the concrete scraping her hands and knees. Ignoring the pain, she got up intent only on chasing after the man who had left her behind. Yeoreum spun around, checking every direction.

Why was every man in this blasted city wearing a black coat?

And how did Min Yoongi walk so fast?

She should have run after him as soon as he left. Why did she waste time?

Now she had lost him again.

Yeoreum was so afraid this time, she'd lose him forever.

Suppressing the bile that was rising up her throat, she took a few tentative steps towards their office building. But he had been carrying his backpack. Maybe he was headed towards the subway? Yeoreum stopped and leaned against the storefront of a shop selling cosmetics. The alcohol in her system and the overwhelming vastness of this city was made her dizzy. She pressed her forehead against the cold glass and watched as her breath fogged it up. 

Is it really over?

Something wet splashed against the cement. Yeoreum looked up wondering if it was raining again only to realize it was her. Tears rushed down her face in quick successions, one fat drop after another. She pinched the bridge of her nose and tilted her head up in an effort to make it stop, but now that the dam was broken, everything came rushing out. Yeoreum crouched on the street and tucked her head against her knees.

Why did she go so far if the end was going to be like this?

The only reason she was able to fight this battle alone for so long was that she had hoped once he'd see her again, everything will be all right. Just like in that movie, The Notebook, Yoongi would tell her there'd been a misunderstanding. He'd been trying to reach her, but her family had been blocking his letters. Or, like in the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, he'd inevitably recognize her because no amount of erasure could completely wipe her away from his heart.

How incredibly naive she'd been! Now, the reality she'd been ignoring for so long came back to taunt her. If he really wanted to, he could have contacted her. There were emails, social media, and various other channels of communication her parents couldn't control. And the fact that he couldn't remember anything about her at all, maybe it was because he didn't want to. Maybe on that day, when they were supposed to meet and elope, he had decided it wasn't worth the trouble and decided to leave on his own instead. She'd heard often enough from her parents about how terrible everyone from the Min family was. Maybe she should have listened.

But what of the songs he wrote for me?

And various ways he told me he loved me?

All that was seven years ago.

Even a log stubbornly clinging against the rocks would have long been whittled down by river water, then swept away by the currents regardless of whether it wanted to go or not. Only a fool like her would hold on for so long to flimsy, youthful promises. Bringing her hands to her face, Yeoreum sobbed. Her chest heaved as despair once again forced its way out from the depths where hope had imprisoned it. 

She had to give up. 

Yeoreum must give Yoongi up. 

----

Y/N: Don't forget to leave your comments and like this chapter. Borahae! <3