⌒(｡･.･｡)⌒⌒(｡･.･｡)⌒⌒(｡･.･｡)⌒

Kakao.

Your phone dings. Groaning, you stick your hand out of the cocoon formed by your blanket and reach for the offending piece of gadget to see what woke you up. Eyes still weighed down by slumber, you squint at the bright screen and fumble with the buttons until you get to the messaging app.

A contact request?

You bring the phone closer to read the small font of the accompanying message.

-------------------------------------------------------

Rabbit sent you a contact request.

Hi! You left your notebook at the book cafe.

-------------------------------------------------------

Rabbit?

You click on the profile photo to enlarge it and find a picture of an illustrated pink rabbit with one brow thicker than the other. One of its ears is furled, too, causing an odd asymmetry that's nonetheless cute. You don't recognize it from anywhere, but that isn't surprising. You spend most of your free time reading novels and webtoons or watching anime. At work, you stare at codes all day often working overtime to meet urgent deadlines. Anything beyond those is beyond your scope of knowledge.

Anyway, whoever this Rabbit is, they're claiming they have your notebook. With your whole body creaking in protest, you unwrap yourself from the blanket and head towards the living room. Because you forget your slippers, the pads of your feet touch the cold floor so you titter on your tiptoes. 

Cheapskate, your best friend, Min Yoongi, often complains. 

To which, you reply you're just saving for a rainy day. Even though you're not necessarily short on money, you always try to save as much as you can. Your family is not particularly well-off so growing up, you learned early on the value of saving. 

When you reach the couch, you grab the bag you threw there earlier and scourge its depths for the little notebook you always carry around to write down your ideas. After pouring out all the contents, you finally accept that it's gone. Racing back to your bed, you once again wrap yourself with the thick duvet and accept the contact request.

Maybe 'Rabbit' is the cafe owner? You don't know Kim Seokjin that well, except that he's the same age as you and makes great coffee. Also, he has the kind of face most people worldwide will consider handsome --- a classic, manly bone structure, tall nose, and lush lips. Usually, attractive people make you nervous, because they always know how to use their advantage as weapons wielded against the less fortunate (e.g. people like you.) Kim Seokjin, however, is so easy-going and openly confident, it's difficult not to like him. Two months ago, when you started going to the tiny book cafe downstairs your apartment building, you even nurtured a little crush on him. But after a while, you find out he's married to a pastry chef. His wife is absolutely gorgeous, too, which makes sense. According to the law of this vicious universe, a godly man deserves a goddess for a wife. Not a potato cosplaying as a woman.

Potatoes can dream, though.

Sighing, you once again examine the photo. This defies any rational law whatsoever, but you see the rabbit slowly transform into a human face, complete with shiny eyes, fluffy hair, and delicate rosebud lips. Is this the stranger you sniffed? The possibility makes you shudder and kick your blanket. How can he possibly get your number?

Wait...

Being your usual paranoid self, you did write down your contact details just in case something like this happens. Nevertheless... No, no, no! It's impossible. Improbable. Unlikely. Un...un... While you try to come up with more synonyms, the memory of what happened hits you like a rash. Warm body. The smell of ocean and citrus. Just thinking about it makes you itch with embarrassment.

"Argh!"

You slap some sense back into your overly warm cheeks. Maybe it's one of the waiters who found your notebook while clearing tables. It may even be a random stranger. There's only one way to find out. 

Y/N: Hello, this is Y/L/N Y/N.   [Send?]

You stop and hit backspace. They don't need to know your name.

Y/N: Hello! Thanks for keeping my notebook. If it's not a bother, may I pick it up from the cafe tomorrow afternoon at around 1?

There. Much better. You hit send.

Almost instantly, you see your message was read so you wait for a reply. For the first few seconds, you hold the phone above your head, chewing on your bottom lip. When the skin starts cracking, you force yourself to stop. How long does it take to type out a response? Your question only requires a yes or no. Is he writing an essay about the meaning of the universe? Before long, your arms start growing numb and your phone falls smack on your face. Groaning, you rub your nose. At the same time, you curse your lack of strength. This is a sign. You need to go to the gym ASAP.

Except that you're just so lazy and can't justify the cost of a gym membership. You keep telling yourself you'll work out at home, but you never do. When you ask Yoongi to go with you for added motivation, he claims lying down is the same as working out and since he lies down a lot, there's no need to do anything else. Shoving your phone away, you grab a lip balm from your bedside table and smother your lips with the coconut-flavored stick. A whole five minutes elapse until your phone dings again.

Rabbit: I have work until 6PM tomorrow, so I can only be at the cafe by 7. Is that okay?

Work on a Sunday that doesn't involve being at the cafe? A rock made of dread sinks into your stomach. 

Y/N: Excuse me, if it's okay, may I know who I'm talking to?

Rabbit: Ah, sorry, I should have introduced myself. This is Jeon Jungkook. We kind of bumped into each other earlier?

Jeon 

Jung

Kook

Jeon Jungkook

The characters repeatedly blink in your head, while you do your best to not hyperventilate too much. It's definitely him.  The serial starer. The guy you shamelessly attacked. You contemplate the easiest way out, which is deleting him and kissing your notebook goodbye. But although the thing itself didn't cost much, the ideas inside are priceless. To delete or note to delete? Your insides squirm with indecision. Before you can answer, your phone shakes again.

Rabbit: If it's more convenient, I can send the notebook to you. Just give me your address.

It was one thing for him to know your phone number, but to send him your address? Nope, not going to happen. You've seen enough crime dramas to know the dangers of living alone as a female. 

Y/N: No, don't worry. I'll meet you at the cafe.

Rabbit: Okay, then. So is 7 okay?

Y/N: Thank you! It's okay.

Rabbit: Then I'll see you tomorrow at 7, Miss Y/L/N Y/N. :)

Y/N: How did you know my full name?

Rabbit: Ah, it's in your notebook.

Right, you're so dumb.

Y/N: Oh, yeah

Y/N: Sorry!

Rabbit: ?

Y/N: I forgot I wrote my name in my notebook.

Rabbit: Ah....

Rabbit: Don't worry about it. :)

Y/N: Thanks!

Rabbit: You're welcome :)

Y/N: Anyway, goodnight! See you!

Rabbit: Night! See you :)

Except for his excessive use of smiley faces, there is nothing particularly special about that exchange. Yet, for some reason, your heart is racing. It beats against your chest in quick staccatos that are impossible to ignore. One. Two. Three. One. Two. Three. On and on and on it goes as if your chest is a stage for a tap dance performance.

It can't possibly be because you're excited to meet Jeon Jungkook tomorrow? 

No, of course not! You press both hands at the center of your ribcage to still the commotion beneath. At this point, you realize there's a cognitive dissonance between the rational and the idiotic parts of your brain. While the former bombards you with gruesome possibilities, the latter is willing to overlook self-preservation in pursuit of a handsome face. As evidenced by your uncontrollably wayward heart, the idiotic part is winning.

What if Yoongi is right? He once told you the thirties for women is what puberty is like for men. What if this abnormal response is the result of some kind of hormonal imbalance? The horny kind. 

Gosh!

Why did you allow yourself to reach the ripe old age of 29 without being in a single relationship? Now your body is going haywire in protest of all the years of celibacy. What if you turn into one of those cougars desperately hunting for young prey? You hope not. Covering your face with your hands, you begin to question your life decisions. It's not like you're a prude or anything. It's just that when you're poor and in urgent need of money, there's no time to waste on complicated feelings. There are student loans to pay and relatives depending on you for help. 

Time doesn't care about that, though. Not about the house in Daegu your parents nearly lost to a debtor. Nor about the hospital bills you incurred when you fainted from fatigue. It simply flies past, uncaring of who gets left behind. By the time you're ready to consider a relationship, all the men your age are either married or choosing from a fresher crop. No one wants the shriveled up spud, forgotten in a dusty, old shelf. 

The desire to love and be loved knows no age, though. And, even the unwanted can't bury the need to be cherished and cared for. Isn't that just human nature? Suddenly, you wonder how old Jeon Jungkook is and if he already has a girlfriend. Considering how attractive he is, he's most likely taken already. If not, there's probably a line of women vying for the role.

But why was he looking at you?

Before it takes root, you dig up that seed of delusion. Just because a man looks at you, it doesn't mean he wants you. Haven't you learned your lesson? Shame fills you as a memory knocks on your mind. Last year, you let yourself fall in love with Kim Namjoon, your company's genius programmer with supermodel proportions. Because he was nice to you and paid you some attention, you genuinely thought he liked you, too. That's until one of the girls from the marketing department and her posse of equally pretty friends corners you in the bathroom. You can still hear their snickers as their leader calls you an ahjumma and confronts you about your 'obsession.' Her exact words are, "You should know your place. How dare you reach for someone beyond your level? Aren't you embarrassed for yourself?"

Normally, you'll shrug that off as pure cattiness, but at the company party later in the day, you catch her and Namjoon kissing. Since then, you haven't been able to look him in the eye, which is awkward because the two of you work in the same department. Whenever he tries to approach you for anything other than work, you deflect and give one-liners. Clever as he is, he eventually got the message while silly you got your heart torn into shreds.

All that reminiscing leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. You curl into a fetal position, but equal measures of regret and anger stew in your gut. Heaving a sigh, you force yourself to get up, shove your feet into your fluffy slippers and make your way into the kitchen. There, you pour yourself a glass of water and chug it all down. When that wasn't enough, you finish a second glass wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.

On the wall, the clock ticks its way to midnight. Your bloated belly hurts not only from the excess water but also from residual emotions. If you dwell on this further, you know you'll end up tossing and turning. So, you go for your usual antidote: a round of Mobile Legends before going to bed. Luckily, your teammates, 'EatsCookie', 'Code_V' , 'Jib00tiiiii', and 'Sunshine阳光', are also online. At once, you receive a new in-app message.

'EatsCookie': hey! missed you today. wanna play?

'GoldenGirl': yeah, need to let off some steam

'EatsCookie': why? who made u angry? (;¬_¬)

'GoldenGirl': no one just... life...

'EatsCookie': don't tell me....

'EatsCookie': someone broke your heart again?

Besides 'EatsCookie', no one else knows about that thing with Namjoon. That night after the party, you went home feeling sorry for yourself. You knew if you didn't do something, you'd spend the night crying. Not wanting to shed even a single tear, you downloaded the game as a distraction. Coincidentally, you're randomly added to 'EatsCookie's' team. After an all-nighter, he messages you in private and you start chatting. Maybe it's the anonymity coupled with sleep deprivation, but before long, you start spilling your sob story. Since then, you've been talking every day. Sometimes, there are things you can't tell Yoongi because you're too embarrassed, but 'EatsCookie' knows all. 

'EatsCookie': this is why I told you not to give it away

'EatsCookie': you should save it for me

'GoldenGirl': lol lol lol

'GoldenGirl': that's a good one

'GoldenGirl': some girls will definitely fall for that

'EatsCookie': but not you? :(

'GoldenGirl': im the player, not the game

'EatsCookie': i wouldn't mind if you played me ;)

'GoldenGirl': ok, but just letting you know...

'GoldenGirl': i always win

'GoldenGirl': are u ready to lose?

'EatsCookie': kkkkkkkkkk

'EatsCookie': my heart?

'EatsCookie': i can't lose what u've already won

'GoldenGirl': kkkkkkkk

'GoldenGirl': i concede 

'GoldenGirl': there's no way i can top that

'EatsCookie': kkkkkkkkkkkk

'EatsCookie': im getting better ryt?

'EatsCookie': soon ull be calling me mf8atf7ai-2

'GoldenGirl': hi mf8atf7ai-2

'EatsCookie':  kkkkkkkkkk

'EatsCookie': master*

'EatsCookie': lol cat jumped on me ^0^

'GoldenGirl': Cooky knows whats up

While waiting for his reply, a new message notification pops up. This time, it's from your squad's group chat. The rest of the crew must have finally noticed you're online. Relieved, you click on the tab. Although you won't admit it, this flirting game you both started is beginning to affect you. After all, you're made of flesh and blood, not stone.

'Code_V': O.O 

'Code_V': g?

'Jib00tiiiii': g

'Sunshine阳光': g

'Code_V': @'GoldenGirl' @ 'EatsCookie'?

'GoldenGirl': g

'EatsCookie': g

By the time you're done, the rush of winning at every game drowns out all your previous negativity. While you and your teammates wish each other goodnight, an argument ensues after 'Jib00tiiiii' declares himself as your in-game husband (although there's no such thing). You settle it by telling them you have no plans to get married whatsoever.  

[PRIVATE CHAT]

'EatsCookie': whos gonna tell them you're already married

'GoldenGirl': i am? to whom?

'EatsCookie': to me ;) 

'GoldenGirl': .....

'GoldenGirl': i fell right into that

'GoldenGirl': too sleepy

'EatsCookie': good night my golden girl

'GoldenGirl': night

 When you finally close your eyes,  you can't help but smile. Even though you're hopelessly single and undesirable offline, at least there are people who want you online. Nevermind if those interactions are confined to virtual reality. A little affection. A listening ear. A squad to call your own. For now, those are enough to get you by. 

⌒(｡･.･｡)⌒⌒(｡･.･｡)⌒⌒(｡･.･｡)⌒