|Heartache that was handed to me, holding on just don't make sense

|Song: Cry, Jason Walker

|||

Dawn's P.O.V.

It felt like ages had passed. As if I had been locked in this room for centuries while the earth was slowly dying around me.
I was sitting on my bed, waiting for the food to come, it always did around this time. Being in here as long as I had gave you some sense of time.
But right now nothing came.
A small frown appeared on my face, worry settling in. Were they going go starve me? That question was quickly answered. A sharp hiss sounded through the room.
I groaned and covered my ears. Then, in the wall opposite me, a door opened. Shaped in a perfect rectangle. It had been hidden so well I had never seen it. A man came walking through and when I saw him I felt a wave of disgust and hate overwhelm me.

'I was hoping I would never see you again,' I said, my voice filled with hatred that I failed to keep hidden. Ratman smiled at me. An empty smile, empty of all emotions. 'Well, then I'm sorry to disappoint you.' He carried a chair with him into the room.
The door closed and with it any chance of me getting out of here but then it wasn't like I could escape anyway. There were probably guards outside, ready to shoot me.
Janson put the chair down and sat. He was holding a few files in his hands and I noticed the dark circles around his eyes. I could only hope it was because we had given him a hard time. He folded his hands in his lap and stared at me, not saying a word. 

'Just tell me why you're here,' I whispered, not in a mood for any more lies or games.
Janson gave me a curt nod. 'First things first then. You have succesfully completed the Third Phase meaning the tests are finally over.' He then looked up from his papers. 'But you knew that already, didn't you?'
'You never told me much about the different phases,' I told him.
He studied me for a second before asking the question I had been dreading the most.

'When did you get them back?'

'Does that matter?' I replied, not planning on sharing my moment with Newt. 'All that matters is that I remember everything. And I can promise you that no one will cooperate after I tell them what truly happened.'

Janson leaned back in his chair, his hands folded in his lap and a horrible smug expression on his face. He had been expecting this reaction and that made my annoyance only worse.
'See,' he started, 'I cannot let you do that.'
I gave him the sweetest smile I could muster. 'And why would I listen to you?'
Janson narrowed at me. 'Because of him.'

Silence fell and I could hear my heart beating in my chest. Breathing was suddenly hard as I tried to keep my hands from shaking.
'What about him?' I whispered, no longer able to pretend I was strong.
Janson leaned a bit forward. 'You remember it don't you? The day we brought him in? Why we brought him in?'
I gave him a simple nod, not planning on talking while he knew the answers anyway.
'Then you also remember that he is not immune,' Janson finished, his words sharp, like glass, and I couldn't help it but wince.
Then I slowly nodded, my eyes turned to the floor. I had known since that talk we had and all my memories returned. I knew Newt was only here at Wicked because his sister wouldn't go without him. And so Wicked could tell the difference of the effects the Maze had on immunes and...cranks.

'What has this to do with anything?' I whispered, forcing my eyes back on Janson.

The man who was suppose to be my father smiled at me. A cold smile and it made me shiver.
'We want you to convince the others to finish the Trials and help us find a cure,' he said.
I was already shaking my head. 'You can't ask that of me. They won't listen to a word you say.'
A dangerous shimmer appeared in his eyes. 'Who said anything about words?'
I opened my mouth but closed it again and then shook my head. 'No, no I won't do it.'
Janson ignored my words. 'Of course you will have help. With the right push they will have no choice but to listen to you.'
'Didn't you hear me?' I snapped, my voice rising. 'I won't do it!'

With a blank expression he stared at me. 'You don't have much of a choice,' he whispered, his voice dangerously low.
I swallowed my fear and kept looking at him. 'Yes, I do. You can threaten me, torture me, whatever you want but I won't betray my friends to help you.'
Janson chuckled, a terryfing sound combined with the dead expression on his face. 'Oh, but you're not just helping us. Convincing your friends to stay means they will unlock the cure meaning you can cure Newt.'

My heart beated like a war drum in my chest, my hands clenched and my vision blurry from unshed tears.
I wanted to cure Newt, of course I did. Anything I could do to stop him from becoming a monster, losing all sense of who he was, of course I would do it. But working with Wicked? Selling out my friends to them, whatever it was that Wicked wanted me to do...I couldn't.
Newt wouldn't want me to, not for his sake.

'Newt would never forgive me,' I whispered, a tear crawling down my cheek. I didn't bother hiding it.

'Does that matter?' Janson asked me. 'Does that truly matter as long as he's cured?'

Everything inside of me was fighting not to punch him, kick him, hurt him wherever I could.
His words were like poison, working their way into my mind like an annoying fly I couldn't shake.
Yes, his words were poison but I was willing to drink them till the last drop. Newt might never forgive me, but that didn't matter as long as he was okay. As long as he was safe, cured from the disease that was slowly eating away his mind.
So, I pushed away all my doubts, all my fears and all my dignity as I looked into the eyes of the devil.

'What do you need me to do?'