|This is how it feels when you take your life back

|Song: Not gonna die, Skillet

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Dawn's P.O.V.

The bright light blinded me, a wave of heat hit me. And suddenly it was hard to breathe. The heat crawled inside of me, placing itself in my lungs and I started coughing to get it out. It didn't work, the heat was still plaguing me. The sheet did nothing to block the sun out. We could just as well wear nothing at all. I was blinking rapidly against the light to take a look at my surroundings but the ground seemed to reflect the sun. It was hurting my eyes so badly after the darkness of the tunnel that for a moment I thought I had gone blind.

'You guys alright?' Minho asked.

Thomas grunted a yes.

'Pretty sure we just arrived in bloody hell. Always thought you'd end up here, Minho, but not me,' Newt said.
'Good that,' Minho replied.
I had no strength to laugh about it.
'My eyeballs hurt, but I think I'm starting to get used to the light,' Minho continued.
I opened my eyes a little, shielding them with my hands. The ground was brown, dry and sandy. Very slowly I lifted my hands from before my eyes. My heart skipped a beat at the sight.

It was a wasteland.

As far as I could see dry and lonely nothing surrounded us. No trees, no water, not even a small bush. I turned in a circle, feeling immensely small in this huge dead valley.
It wasn't until I faced the opposite direction that I saw something. Far in the distance a line of mountains appeared. But before them was something you could call a city, visible. It was impossible to tell from this distance how big it was. All I could really see was that the buildings had to be tall for us to see them.

'How far do you think those buildings are?' Newt asked.
'Maybe a hundred miles?' Thomas answered. 'That's definitely north. Is that where we have to go?'
Minho shook his head. 'That is north, but it's not even close to a hundred miles. Thirty at most. And the mountains might be sixty or seventy.'
'Didn't know you could measure distance so well with nothing but your bloody eyeballs,' Newt said.
'I'm a Runner, shuck-face. You get a feel for stuff like that in the Maze, even if its scale was a lot smaller.'
I sighed. 'Could this be any different from what they did to us in the Maze? Instead of being trapped inside walls, we're trapped in a desert.'
The boys fell silent and I felt their reluctance to cross this desert. I couldn't blame them.

Finally Minho turned back to the trapdoor in the ground. 'Come on, let's get those shanks out here and start walking. No time to waste letting the sun suck the water out of us.'
We nodded at him and Minho leaned over the hole. 'Hey, you bunch of sissy, no-good shanks! Grab all the food and get up here!'

The plan was simple. We would walk for a few miles, the sun was already setting anyway, take a break and then continue during the night.
No Glader complained about the plan and it wasn't like we had another option anyway. Before we started walking we made a few adjustments. The food and water bags were stuffed more tightly into half of the original packs so more sheets could be used to cover people as we walked. Especially Winston, who needed the protection with his wounds. And soon we were marching across the desert.

I had a thousand questions. Why were we going north? Why were we listening to Wicked anyway? Who decided Minho was in charge? But I saved all of them for later. Walking was hard enough without talking and took a lot of my energy. And I didn't have much to begin with, the apple had done me some good, but what I really needed was a long night sleep. My head was still clouded and I couldn't think clearly.
Places, names and faces appeared and disapppeared inside my head and yet I still had no clear view of my past. Some events were written like a book inside of me. But others were still vague and beyond my reach.

No one really talked, we all needed to safe our energy. And so the time dragged on.
I walked next to Lisa, with Minho and Newt right behind us. I could hear Thomas and the new kid talking to each other but I was too busy to try and stay on my feet than to hear what they were saying.
Lisa seemed to be watching my every step, ready to catch me if I should fall. I kept on sending her thankfull smiles but her mind seemed far away. It made me sad, because I had no idea how to help her.

Finally the sun settled behind the mountains. It was still unnaturally hot but managable.
Minho told us all to take a short break until the sun had gone completely, then we'd continue.
I had no more strength and almost fell down on the ground. Lisa managed to catch my arm and help me sit down. She made herself comfortable next to me. The other Gladers sat a bit away from us but Minho, Thomas, Newt and the new kid joined us.

'Could you guys please explain why we're doing...whatever it is we're doing,' Lisa said after Minho had handed us all some water.
The boys shared a glare and finally it was Minho who spoke. 'You two first.'
I could sense Lisa was about to snap at him and I quickly put my hand on her arm. She had every right to be frustrated, she saved my life and all the Gladers did was distrust her. Though, she had done some horrible things under Wicked's control.
'You should start,' I told her.
She frowned but nodded and started telling her story. What happened after the Griever took her. How Wicked had taken control of her. How she had woken up after and found the control room. Then how she went to find me and finally how we went through the Flat Trans. She never mentioned Gally's name.

Thomas and Newt seemed to relax a little as she went on. Though Minho was still gazing her down. Then it was my turn. I took a deep breath and started telling them everything I could remember after they took me out of the room. Even about my memories returning, at which Lisa's eyes widened and I heard small gasps coming from the boys.
It was hard to exactly say what happened. Sounds, places, they all blurred together in my head.
When I finally managed to tell them everything I did remember, I was exhausted.

Newt took my hand, then looked up at Minho. 'It seems to add up.'
The asian boy narrowed at me and Lisa then finally sighed and uncrossed his arms. 'Fine. But I'm watching the two of you closely.' He said two, but his eyes were focused on Lisa and I knew he only meant her.
I took a deep breath. 'So what happened to you guys?'
They all shared a glare and finally it was Thomas who started talking.
He told us everything they went through, and it was a lot. He told us they woke the next morning of what they thought would be their free lives, only to find Teresa and I were missing. Instead they found the new kid, whose name turned out to be Aris. He had been in the Maze as well, only a different one, filled with girls and he was the only guy. The complete opposite of our Maze but the events of their escape were the same. It turned out we were Group A and they were Group B.
Thomas told us about the Ratman, who explained to them what had happened to world. Sun flares, destroyed the entire earth years ago and left behind a dangerous virus called the Flare. People who caught it were called Cranks, horrible monsters who lost all rational thought. That was why Wicked was created, to find a cure. And we were participating in Trials to find that cure.

I saw Lisa tense up next to me.
And I felt my disgust grow. So Wicked forced us to go through all this pain and misery, death and horrors so they could find a cure for...monsters?
But we kept our mouths shut and let Thomas tell us about their next discovery. Each one of them had tattoos in their neck, branding them with a number and a title.

At that, I interrupted him. 'Hold on? Tattoos?'
Thomas nodded and pulled the collar of his shirt down. There were letters written on his skin, black and in a messy handwriting.

"Group A. Subject A2. To be killed by Group B."

My eyes widened and I turned to Aris. 'But if the girls of your Maze are group B...' I didn't dare to finish that sentence.
Aris nodded and turned his gaze to the ground. 'I don't think they'd kill him just because of a tattoo but we don't know what Wicked has planned.'
I sighed and felt all my hopes crumble. Even in this forsaken desert Wicked was still pulling the strings.
'What about you guys?' Lisa asked, looking at Newt and Minho.
'See for yourself,' Newt said, pulling his collar down.
I leaned forward and reached out. Tracing the letters with my fingers.

"Group A. Subject A5. The Glue."

A frown appeared on my face and I pulled away. 'The glue?' I asked, a slight smile on my face.
'Yeah, 'cause he's the glue that holds us all together,' Thomas said with a slight smirk on his lips.
I turned back to Newt who bit his lip. I smiled. 'He's right, though.'
Newt shook his head but didn't respond.

'What about you Minho?' I asked him.

'Group A. Subject A7. The Leader,' Newt said, his gaze focused on Minho.
'That explains why he's in charge,' I mumbled.
Minho rolled his eyes and then turned to Lisa. 'Why don't you guys have any tattoos?'
Suddenly she jumped up, an angry frown crossing her features. 'Why don't you shut your ugly shuck-face! Dawn and I were almost killed, just because we were never suppose to participate in these stupid Trials! I came back, survived Wicked, left-' She bit her lip and I turned my gaze to the ground.

Gally.
We left Gally behind.

'But you know what, all that doesn't matter to you. You can only see the girl that let Wicked control her. Well, I'm sorry but this isn't what I came back for. You can choke on your stupid accusations.'

Then she walked away. She sat down, away from all the Gladers, in the sand.
Minho stared at her, not even blinking, still as a statue.
'Let's get some sleep,' Newt finally mumbled.

I stood up and walked away as well. Not after Lisa, I knew she needed a moment alone, but towards the other Gladers. Frypan greeted me with a smile and Leon shook my hand.
Finally I sat down on the group. Pulling my knees up to my chest and stared at the slowly darkening wasteland around us.
It was a lot to take in.

And I believed every word of it. Even though Wicked betrayed us, lied to us, I still believed it. Mostly because my memories added up to it. What I didn't understand was how I could ever voluntarily participate in something as horrible as this. Something must have happened which made me change my mind. If only my memories weren't so slow to return.

A hand on my shoulder made me look up. Newt smiled down at me before sitting next to me. I put my head on his shoulder, focusing my eyes on the horizon.

'So, you have your memories back?' He asked, a strange tone that I couldn't place sounded through his voice.
'Well, yes and no,' I answered while playing with his fingers. 'Some memories are clear, mostly the ones about when I was younger. It takes a lot of time for the memories to return, as if they can only return one at the time.'
Newt didn't reply just kept staring forward. I didn't break the silence, just let him take it all in for a moment. 'Just so you know, you can always talk about whatever is goin' on in that bloody head of yours. Alright?'
I looked up at him, giving him a slight smile. 'Remember the promise I made you?'
He frowned at me, making me lean closer.
'Just kiss me real good,' I whispered.
For a second he only stared at me before placing his lips on mine. I felt like my whole body was set ablaze but the moment was cut short when the sound of applauding Gladers sounded from behind us.
I pulled away and looked at them. They were all staring at us with huge smirks on their faces.
'What are you ugly shanks staring at?' Newt snapped, but there was a smile on his face.

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First, I wanted to start by saying how I sorry I am for not updating this long. It's partly because my exams are coming and I really need to focus on school. Also because I'm not the best version of me at the moment, stress and troubles are really holding me down. But I will still try to update as much as I can, though I can't say when exactly it will be, I'll try to update at least once a week.

Second, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Some problems that will be there for the rest of this book have been brought up in this chapter. For example Minho and Lisa. They seemed to be really good friends but how it their friendship going to last now? Minho doesn't seem to trust her anymore. What do you think will happen?

So that was my long Author's Note for this week. Please leave a comment or a vote, it means a lot to hear your thoughts and see your support.

Have a nice week!

XXX

-Me